Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The heavy rain had persisted for five or six days, soaking the imperial capital.

After waking from her afternoon nap, Shu Yan sat by the window on her couch, listening to the rain.

Like a snow-carved beauty, she leaned lazily against a soft cushion of goose feathers, her jet-black hair cascading over her shoulders. Sitting sideways in the dimly lit room, her features were indistinct, save for a faint red tear-shaped mole nestled beneath her fair eye, like a drop of crimson, glistening delicately under the lamplight.

Outside, the rain fell in a fine mist, and the wind blew fiercely, leaving the courtyard strewn with fallen petals and a complete mess.

Shu Yan couldn’t help but feel a twinge of regret—she should have had the flowerbeds covered with oilcloth before her nap.

Just then, her maid Dan Yan approached and said softly, “It’s chilly outside. Shall I close the window?”

“No need. My heart feels stifled,” Shu Yan replied without turning her head. “Has he returned?”

Her voice was tender, languid, and intoxicatingly sweet to the ear.

Dan Yan shook her head hesitantly. “Perhaps the master is busy. Please don’t be upset, miss.”

Shu Yan wasn’t too distressed—she was used to it.

Her husband, the powerful Chief Grand Secretary, was perpetually occupied with official duties. Since their marriage, he would often disappear for ten days or even half a month at a time, leaving even their intimate moments to be scheduled at her own embarrassed insistence.

But such days were finally coming to an end—today was the day of their divorce by mutual consent.

Half a month ago, her mother-in-law, the commandery princess who had always looked down on her humble origins, announced plans to take a concubine for her son.

Shu Yan had thought her husband held at least a shred of affection for her, but to her dismay, he agreed without hesitation.

Later, she learned that the concubine was none other than the unattainable love of his heart.

From the moment they married, Shu Yan had suppressed her true nature, living with meticulous caution at every turn. But now, she could endure no more.

This marriage—this social climbing marriage—was not worth it!

The men of the imperial capital had hearts like stone. After nearly three years, hers remained cold and untouched.

If anyone wanted this worthless man, they were welcome to him!

That very night, when he came to the back courtyard, she proposed a divorce by mutual consent.

Her usually cold and indifferent husband, in a rare turn, questioned her: “Why would you want a divorce by mutual consent suddenly?”

Disheartened, Shu Yan couldn’t be bothered to argue. “I’m tired,” was all she said.

After a few hollow words of feigned reluctance, he seemed to exhale in relief. “If that’s your wish, so be it.”

Originally, the divorce should have been finalized two days prior, but he had been too busy. Yesterday, she sent someone to inquire, and he promised to return home today.

Yet even now, he was nowhere to be seen.

Just then, faint sobbing echoed from outside.

Another maid, Qing Yun, stormed in angrily. “Miss, that cousin of his is wailing outside our courtyard again! She tricked you before, but now, before she’s even married in, she’s forcing you to accept this humiliation!”

This “cousin” was none other than the unattainable love of her husband’s heart.

Shu Yan sighed wearily. “Go tell her that if she’s truly in such a hurry to enter this household, she should beg her aunt or her cousin. Coming to me is useless. If she keeps crying, she can forget about stepping through these doors.”

In truth, these words were nothing but a bluff.

If she had any real power, she wouldn’t have fallen to this state.

She simply couldn’t understand why this cousin felt the need to make such a display in front of her.

With that thought, she added, “After you’ve sent her away, go and fetch him. Tell him that if he’s still too busy today, I’ll personally bring the divorce by mutual consent agreement to the Revenue Ministry tomorrow morning.”

She refused to wait any longer.

Qing Yun responded with a “Yes.”

No sooner had Qing Yun left than Dan Yan hesitated, looking as if she had something to say. The calm woman cut her off. “I know what you want to say. There’s no need to persuade me further.”

“Since you already know what this servant intends to say,” Dan Yan knelt before her, “then you must also understand that when the family head persuaded you to come to the capital, it was to secure you a lifelong support.”

“But what truly counts as a lifelong support?” Shu Yan gazed at her with clear, dark eyes. “All these years, I’ve wondered—if I hadn’t chosen this path, would my life have been better?”

Shu Yan’s maternal family came from a military lineage. Her great-grandfather had fought alongside the founding emperor and was granted the title of Pillar of State. By her father’s generation, he had inherited his ancestor’s military prowess, rising to the rank of General of Dragon and Tiger, a first-rank official who guarded the border for over a decade.

But four years ago, after being falsely accused by a favored concubine of the late emperor, her family was stripped of their titles, their property confiscated, and they were exiled to the desolate southern lands.

Her father, who had always cherished her as his own life, did one final thing before the exile—he coaxed her into coming to the capital and marrying into the Pei family.

Yet the Pei family was a noble family, and her mother-in-law was the daughter of the late emperor’s beloved eldest princess, the Princess of Xiangyang. How could she ever look favorably upon Shu Yan?

For over two years, no matter how diligently Shu Yan served or how earnestly she tried to please, in her mother-in-law’s eyes, she remained nothing more than the disgraceful daughter of a fallen official.

“In my eighteen years of life, the hardest days have been these past few years in the capital—treading carefully, living in constant fear. I’m exhausted by the thought of a future so bleak and unchanging.” As she spoke of her suffering, Shu Yan’s eyes reddened slightly.

Dan Yan choked back a sob. “But what will you do now, miss?”

“My mother often said that in this life, fame and fortune are but illusions—fleeting and empty. It’s better to live freely and boldly, so as not to waste this journey on earth. Even simple meals can satisfy.”

The woman with gentle eyes lowered her head, inhaling the lingering fragrance on her fingertips. “Besides, these years have taught me much. Even Her Majesty the Empress once remarked that no one in the capital makes incense better than I do. If you truly care for me, you should help me pack my dowry and plan for our future. Once I’ve established myself, I’ll seek out my father and brothers, so they need not worry.”

Seeing her resolve, Dan Yan knew further persuasion was futile and set about organizing the dowry and belongings.

Shu Yan felt weary once more. She took a silver spoon and scooped a small amount of brown incense into the incense burner. Soon, white smoke spiraled upward.

Unlike other fragrances, this one was as if spring itself had been brought indoors, enveloping her in a field of flowers.

The incense was called Forget Sorrows, said to dispel all sorrows. Yet no matter how she tried, her attempts at crafting it had always been average.

This batch, made yesterday, seemed different—the scent was unlike before, as if her troubles were dissipating with the rising smoke.

Lost in the fragrance, Shu Yan suddenly heard someone call from outside: “The master has returned!”

At once, her eyes flew open. She rose and went to her dressing table, taking out the prepared divorce by mutual consent agreement.

By then, the announcement had reached the inner courtyard. Shu Yan instinctively glanced out the window.

Twilight had come, and candles had just been lit.

Though the rain had stopped, the courtyard remained shrouded in thick mist and dew, even the petals of the blooming flowering crabapple outside the window coated in a thin layer of frost.

Through layers of pink blossoms, a figure in dark blue strode through the circular gate, cutting through the thick fog, the stone path littered with fallen petals, the sea of crabapple flowers, and the meandering corridor—advancing unhindered toward her.

The swaying lantern light in the corridor cast a long shadow behind him, and the maid holding the lantern behind him had to jog to keep up. In moments, the figure drew near, his face becoming clearly visible.

The man was as strikingly handsome as a crape myrtle, wearing a pearl-edged hat, a sapphire-blue robe with cloud-embroidered sleeves and a round collar, an ivory jade dipter belt around his waist, and black boots with pink soles.

The heavy mist dampened his temples, yet it did nothing to diminish his beauty—instead, it accentuated his features as if painted.

A man of peerless grace, unmatched in all the world—such was he.

This was none other than Shu Yan’s husband, who had not stepped into her quarters for many days—Pei Hang, the Minister of Revenue and Senior Grand Secretary of the Great Duan Empire.

The people of the capital all believed that he had once overlooked her status as a disgraced official’s daughter to petitioned the emperor to sanction their marriage out of mutual affection. Only Shu Yan knew the truth—his heart already belonged to someone else. The only reason he had agreed to marry her was because her father had leveraged a life debt to pressure him.

In the past two years, the number of times they had met could be counted on her fingers.

She found his face almost unfamiliar.

As he approached the room, Shu Yan’s heart inexplicably tightened. Clutching the amicable divorce agreement she had long prepared, she stepped forward—only to slip—her body tilting uncontrollably backward.

Instinctively, she grabbed at the nearby dressing table but only managed to seize a lozenge-patterned mirror before crashing to the ground amid a clatter of jewelry.

Not far away, a bronze mirror wobbled slightly from the impact, reflecting the image of an extraordinarily beautiful woman lying motionless on the floor. Blood welled from her temple, soon staining her snow-white cheeks.

Immobile, Shu Yan inhaled the lingering fragrance in the air and, for some reason, thought of the little golden koi she’d raised.

Since childhood, she had always feared loneliness. Once, working up the nerve, she had asked Pei Hang to bring back something amusing to keep her company.

To her surprise, he had returned with a golden koi no bigger than her finger.

That alone was baffling enough—others kept their fish in pairs, yet he had brought back only one.

She had tenderly cared for it for half a year, finally fattened it up, only for some careless maid to accidentally knock over the fishbowl two days prior, sending bowl and fish crashing to the floor.

At the time, she had been reviewing account books by the window. When she turned, she saw the plump little fish she’d raised lying motionless among the shards, lifeless.

Shu Yan didn’t understand why she would recall such a trivial matter at this critical moment—or why she wanted to cry.

Had the little fish been badly hurt? Had it suffered when it fell?

Just then, a tall figure strode into the room.

Her vision already blurring, Shu Yan tried to hand him the blood-soaked amicable divorce agreement, but her arm wouldn’t obey.

She couldn’t help but feel a surge of frustration.

All these years, he had made her wait for everything.

She’d waited for meals, waited to sleep, even waited to have a child until he had time—and now, she had to wait even for an amicable divorce.

Was her time truly so worthless?

If he hadn’t made her wait so long, she wouldn’t have tripped in her haste.

It was all his fault!

In nearly three years of marriage, all he’d ever given her was that measly fish!

It was all his fault!

From now on, she would never wait for him again.

If only *Forget Worries* truly existed—she’d give anything to forget it all...