elder brother.

When Yuan Wu was not even used to being a person with a younger brother, Yuan Shen called him, brother, with a smile like sunshine.

He wondered how Won-shin could adapt so quickly to this kind of role change.

It wasn't many years after Yuan Wu just pronounced his name correctly, and after saying my name was Yuan Shen, I would not be laughed at when I was 5 years old, and the name Yuan Shen no longer belonged to him.

He hasn't even got the stroke order of the two characters Yuanshen right, and he needs to face another name again, a name that once belonged to his brother.

"Yuan Wu," grandma looked at him, "you will be called Yuan Wu from now on, you are your elder brother, and Yuan Shen is your younger brother..."

Because of you, he will be sick all the time, because of you, his body will be so weak, because of you, his brain will be hurt...

He didn't live with Yuan Shen before elementary school. For him, Yuan Shen was just a name, belonging to the "younger brother" who only got along with him briefly during the winter and summer vacations.

A most familiar stranger.

The closest stranger to him in the world.

Won Shin smiled brightly, with sunshine and bright eyes.

But Yuan Wu has always been afraid of being with him, afraid that his face is exactly the same as himself, and even he can't tell the difference in the mirror.

"What do you think," Won Shin put the step down on his shoulder, "Which one is me?"

"You are you." Such a question would make Yuan Wu feel depressed every time, which is you and which is me, this kind of question will make people feel a sense of aggression.

A frightening fear of feeling that someone is coveting one's mind and consciousness.

"Could I be you? Yuan Wu, Yuan Shen, you used to be my younger brother," Yuan Shen touched his face, "Did we change?"

"Yes." Yuan Wu turned his head.

"Did you really change? Did you really change?" Yuan Shen whispered in his ear, "Could it be... never changed? We were originally one person, and we shouldn't have been two... …”

Maybe one person is redundant, you say, will it be me? Is it me? Would you be much happier without me, if you were alone?

Don't think about it.

Who am I, are you me? Could I be you?

Yuan Wu was afraid to be alone with Yuan Shen, Yuan Shen whispered those questions to himself, he had no answers and was unwilling to think about them.

Won Shin is in pain, that's the only thing he feels.

A man who is perpetually struggling with a vortex of sickness and questioning the meaning of his own existence.

How painful is it?

Yuan Wu didn't know, the panic when he first saw Yuan Shen's epileptic seizure was still engraved in his mind. Yuan Shen's clenched teeth, rigid body, and empty eyes made him afraid.

There is only fear, not even as a brother, as Yuan Shen's brother should be worried and distressed.

Yuan Shen's twitching tears rolled down his eyes like hot magma, burning deep scars in his heart.

A scene that will never be forgotten.

In those days when Yuan Shen was constantly searching for his true self, verifying the meaning of his existence, and asking whether the truth of life was in other people's memories or in his own mind, in those days when he was constantly remorseful and eager to get closer." In those days when I was my elder brother, Yuan Wu drifted further and further away from him.

Feared and resisted, Won Shin was the real person behind his bright smile like sunshine and cheerful personality that he could never see or touch.

Although every time he saw Won Shin, he would clearly realize that this man was his brother, and while deliberately escaping, he would also have an indelible sense of intimacy with Won Shin from the same source.

"What?" Jiang Chengyu's voice on the phone was surprised that he didn't wake up, "When did you disappear? He never came to my place..."

"I don't know, I slept in the living room yesterday," Lin Chengbu circled around the room, "I thought he remembered everything and said it, there shouldn't be any problem, and he even drank it. With so much alcohol, I can't even lift my arms like a pig when I put him to bed! As a result, there was no one in the house when I came together!"

"Is his stuff there?" Jiang Chengyu asked.

"What, he didn't bring anything, he didn't have anything, just the clothes are mine!" Lin Chengbu opened the wardrobe and looked at it, "He didn't bring my other clothes... You said he would not Will you go back to Shenqiao?"

"It's possible, you go and have a look," Jiang Chengyu said, "I'll ask someone to visit his house right away."

"Okay, call me if you have news." Lin Chengbu hung up the phone, washed quickly, put on his clothes and went out.

When driving to Shenqiao, he called the big head's mother's mobile phone, but the phone was stopped due to arrears.

I called Yuan Wu's cell phone again and turned it off. Since the phone was called to Yuan Wu, he never saw it again, and he didn't know whether Yuan Wu put it away or just threw it into the water.

Fortunately, today was Monday. There were almost no cars on the way to Shenqiao. He flew all the way to get there, and he didn't even feel the bumps of the dirt road.

The old pier is as usual, the only thing that has changed is the color of early autumn, the strong green has become lighter, and the wind is cool.

The season in the country comes earlier and more clearly than in the city.

The big head is like a sign of the old wharf, still squatting there with the gourd on his back, but the small vest on his body has been replaced with long sleeves.

"Brother Xiaobu!" Datou turned around when he heard the sound of the car, and jumped up in surprise.

"Big head is good," Lin Chengbu jumped out of the car, hugged Big Head, and rubbed his hair, "Has brother Xiaowu been here?"

Big head's eyes lit up, but he quickly lowered his eyelids: "I haven't been here. I haven't seen him for a long time. Mom said he went back to the city."

"Is that so?" Lin Chengbu was a little disappointed. To be honest, he really didn't know where else to find Yuan Wu besides Shen Qiao. "Let's go to his boat and stay for a while, okay?"

"Okay." Datou nodded happily.

When he was heading towards Yuan Wu's boat with his big head, Lin Chengbu's cell phone rang, and Jiang Chengyu called him: "There is no one there, as always, the ash on the lock is almost enough for a bowl of sesame paste."

"I'm not at Shenqiao either," Lin Chengbu sighed, "I'm going to his boat to see now. The kids in his neighbor said they didn't see him coming. Where do you think he could go?"

"More, he doesn't just know us, he also has a few friends. I'll ask them one by one here, and if you can find them there," Jiang Chengyu sighed again, "but I guess He didn't go to a friend's house, and he wasn't a troublemaker, and it's unreasonable to suddenly go to a friend's house after being missing for so long."

"Do you think he will have an accident?" Lin Chengbu asked.

"Probably not," Jiang Chengyu thought for a while, "I think seeing what he was like yesterday, he remembered everything that should be remembered, even pretending to have amnesia is useless, but he has been burying it all the time and not touching it. It should be very painful, Yuan Shen should have been dead for at least two years, but his memory may still be the same as yesterday, you know what I mean?"

"Understood," Lin Chengbu jumped to the bow of Yuanwu, "I'm not completely illiterate."

"Stand! What! Go!"

Lin Chengbu was taken aback by the movement, almost raised his hands, and took two steps back before realizing that it was a sensor, his own loud voice.

"Retreat! Retreat!"

Lin Chengbu pushed open the door of the cabin, and suddenly paused when he turned off the sensor.

During the day, Yuan Wu usually doesn't turn on the sensor when he's not sleeping. When he came over that day, the sensor didn't seem to be ringing... Did Yuan Wu come back?

He stared sharply and looked into the cabin.

There is no Yuan Lu.

Everything was thrown around as casually as when Yuan Wu was there.

"Can I play with this?" Big Head picked up a measuring cup.

"Well, don't play with the big one, smash it." Lin Chengbu nodded.

The big head sat on the boat, and started playing with two measuring cups tossing it around.

Lin Chengbu turned the boat fore and aft twice, but found nothing else.

He sighed, returned to the cabin, sat on the cushion that Yuan Wu usually sat on, and looked at the mess in the cabin.

Small table, scratch pad, coffee cup, coffee machine, coffee beans in airtight cans, half a carton of milk, laptop computer, empty cigarette case, ashtray full of cigarette butts, clothes thrown at random, small blanket...

Lin Chengbu dragged the small table in front of him, opened the notebook, and pressed the switch. The screen did not light up, and the battery was dead.

He took the plug and pulled out the plug in the pile of clothes to charge the laptop, and a corner of paper exposed in the half-open suitcase next to him attracted his attention.

He almost jumped over to open the lid of the suitcase.

The box was more than half empty compared to the day Lin Chengbu went naked to find clothes to wear. Lin Chengbu was almost certain that Yuan Wu took the clothes from the box!

There are not many clothes left, and there is a note paper on it, which is probably torn from the note pad on the table, with a line of words on it.

- I'm fine, don't look for me everywhere.

There was no signature and no date. Lin Chengbu held the paper for a long time and looked back at the big head: "You really didn't see Brother Xiaowu coming over today?"

"No," Datou also looked at him, "I woke up in the morning and was at the pier."

"What time did you get up?" Lin Chengbu asked.

"Mom said I got up at half past eight," Datou said, "I'll get up."

eight thirty?

What time did you leave the door at that afternoon?

Lin Chengbu was a little shocked, where did he find the bus! Did you call?

Holding the note, he took a photo with his mobile phone and sent it to Jiang Chengyu.

- Do you know Yuan Wu's character? Did he write this?

-It's his words. It looks like a dog crawling and it's not as good as a primary school student. Where did you find it?

-In his suitcase on the boat.

- I rely on...

Just when Lin Chengbu was about to rummage through the suitcase again to see if there were any clues, the phone in his pocket rang.

He took out and glanced at him and immediately answered the phone: "Brother Hui?"

"Did you drive away?" Yang Hui's anxious voice came from there.

"No," Lin Chengbu was stunned, "I don't have your garage key either."

"Why did I rely on that car?" Yang Hui shouted.

"The car is gone? You mean Yuan Wu's shoulder bag?" Lin Cheng took a step and stood up.

"Yeah, as soon as I drove the garage door in the morning, I saw that the car was gone, and my own car was still there!" Yang Hui was very anxious, "I'll fuck his old car, and no one is willing to buy a second-hand one now. sold!"

"Does Yuan Wu have your garage key?" Lin Chengbu asked, Yang Hui and Yuan Wu are good car friends, and the car has been left in Yang Hui's garage after he was exhausted.

"Yes... I'm relying on you to say that he drove away by himself?" Yang Hui was stunned.

"It should be, he... It should be remembering the past." Lin Chengbu suddenly breathed a sigh of relief, Yuan Wu drove the satchel away, which proved that he should have sorted out the memory of the past, this car He opened it for many years, and even repaired it himself.

"Really?" Yang Hui asked, "Are you sure? I can't lose this car. I don't even know how to pay."

"Really," Lin Chengbu said, "he may contact us after a while."

"After a while...you mean you can't contact him now?" Yang Hui asked.

"...Yes." Lin Chengbu sighed.

"Did you really say that you were his boyfriend and he crashed into a tree in a car accident and lost his memory?" Yang Hui said, "Then he ran away as soon as he woke up and found out that you lied to him?"

"Brother Hui, you have to go write a novel." Lin Chengbu clicked his tongue.

After chatting with Yang Hui for a few more words and letting him tell him the news of Yuan Wu, Lin Chengbu hung up the phone and stared at the note in his hand.

To be honest, this is the first time he has seen Yuan Wu's words. The words are really ugly. The strokes are not next to each other.

"Hello Uncle Chen." Datou suddenly shouted.

Lin Chengbu turned his head and saw a man jumped onto Yuan Wu's bow, and then entered the cabin in two steps. When he saw Lin Chengbu, he was stunned and said loudly, "You are Yuan Shen. friend?"

"...Ah, yes." Lin Chengbu hesitated for a while before nodding.

Yuan Shen?

"I sold him this boat," the man said. "He said in the morning that he would leave the boat and let me deal with it..."

"He came this morning?" Lin Chengbu immediately asked.

"Well, I said what to do with the things on the boat," the man looked at the things in the cabin, "he said that a friend would come to pick it up, and if no one came, let me pack it up next week... Then pack it up when you come. Well, take his things, by the way, he said that the motorcycle was given to me."

"Understood," Lin Chengbu said, "when did he buy this boat?"

"Two or three years, I can't remember." The man replied.

"Is it Yuan Shen?" Lin Chengbu asked, "When he bought the boat, he said his name was Yuan Shen?"

"Yeah, I've seen the ID card," the man nodded, "but he didn't live much after he bought it. He came back after a few months, and has been living until now."

"Then..." Lin Chengbu hesitated for a while, "Has he changed?"

"What are you doing?" The man looked at him suspiciously.

"I'm his friend. He's... encountering something, I just want to find out, is there anything... different from him before?" Lin Chengbu smiled.

"It's not the same, what's the difference?" The man frowned and thought impatiently, "I was very happy when I bought the boat.

"Thank you," Lin Chengbu said, "I'll pack it up now, and I'll take the things in a while."

Very happy, happy all day long.

The boat was bought by Yuan Shen.

Maybe Yuan Wu came to live here after Yuan Shen's accident.

That day, Datou's mother also said that Yuan Wu was strange, a person who was happy every day suddenly changed... It was a little strange.

After the man left, Lin Chengbu started to pack Yuan Wu's things. In fact, these things looked messy, but not much. After the suitcase was full, there was not much left outside.

Yuan Wu has been here for so long, and it seems that he is maintaining the most basic and simple life.

After packing up his things, Lin Chengbu heard a small sob behind him.

He turned around and was surprised to find his big head slumped in the corner wiping tears.

"What's wrong?" He hurried over and hugged his head, "Why are you crying?"

"Brother Xiaowu, yes, did you leave?" Datou rubbed his eyes, tears on the back of his hands, "He won't come back, he's back..."

"No, no," Lin Chengbu patted him, "Brother Xiaowu... went on a trip."

"His boat is... no more," Datou cried sadly, "Is he not going back to the dock..."

"He's moved, he's changed jobs, so he can't stay at the dock all the time. It's too far from where he goes to work," Lin Chengbu said softly, "but he'll come back to play with you, I promise."

"Really?" Big Head looked at him, "I planted a pot of flowers and wanted to give them to him. I can give them to him when he comes back to play with me."

"Well, you remember to water the flowers, don't let the flowers wither when he comes back to you." Lin Chengbu said.

"Watering." The big head nodded.

After soothing the big head, Lin Chengbu moved all the things in the cabin into the trunk of the car, and there were also a lot of piles on the back seat.

He left the two measuring cups to the big head. Although he didn't ask Yuan Wu's opinion, he probably wouldn't disagree.

When he was about to leave, he asked Datou to take out the pot of flowers and took a photo with his mobile phone. It was a flower with soil seeds cut out from a beer can. The beer can was probably made by Yuanwu, and there was no place in it. Know what kind of seed, just took a little sprout.

"Remember to water." Lin Chengbu patted his head.

"Yeah." The big head responded forcefully.

Pulling a carload of Yuanwu's things back to his house, Lin Chengbu ran three times before moving everything into the house, mainly because there were quite a lot of pieces, and in the middle he dropped the pot on the ground.

He didn't know why he had to bring Yuan Wu's broken pot home.

He didn't find a place to put it for a long time, and finally he moved a pot of broken flowers on the balcony into the pot.

After finishing everything, he slumped onto the bed.

The bed was quite messy, and there were traces of Yuan Wu's nap last night, but when he buried his face in the pillow, he couldn't smell Yuan Wu's breath, not even the smell of wine... This made him a little disappointed. .

"Hey..." Lin Chengbu rolled over and lay down, took out the note from his pocket, held it up in front of him and looked at it, "Yuan Wu, where have you been hiding?"

He flicked his fingers on the paper, and after his arms were sore, he put the note on his forehead and closed his eyes.

This time, there should be no need to worry about Yuan Wu's mental state, but probably his emotions.

When Yuan Shen committed suicide, he was there and tried his best to save Yuan Shen, but it was unsuccessful.

That kind of desperate and terrifying method of suicide, just listening to it, makes people feel cold all over. For Yuan Wu, who has experienced it personally, he cannot understand how much stimulation and damage it is.

How long will it take for Yuan Wu to come out of this sadness.

The phone that was thrown aside rang, it was a text message, he took the phone and glanced at it, then jumped straight from the bed to the ground and stood.

The number shows, Yuan noon.

I'm fine.Also, thank you.