Chapter 26: "Fear in Hindsight – I don't want to retrieve the urn alone from the crematorium."

After getting his tetanus shot, He Guan inquired about Yan Xu on his way back as to why the bodyguard wasn't at his post the previous night.

Yan Xu initially claimed it was their shift's end. Still, seemingly expecting He Guan's question, he quickly explained: "The morning shift bodyguard, working from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., left a bit early for a meal as his shift neared its end. The night shift, from 6 p.m. to 2 a.m., had a lapse when the guard took a restroom break, creating a vacancy. The involved guards' wages for today have been forfeited."

He Guan questioned, "And you?"

"The one responsible for this, yet didn't ensure round-the-clock protection, what about you?"

"The one who got me two incompetents, what about you?"

The other side showed "typing" for several minutes.

Finally, He Guan received this message.

Yan Xu: "I'll forgo my year-end bonus."

This answer... was somewhat sincere, at least.

He Guan neither agreed nor disagreed. Without responding, he set down his work phone and picked up his personal one.

He launched the robot app.

Battery at 100%.

He maneuvered the camera bot to pan around, noticing the master bedroom's lights were off.

He Guan switched to night vision mode.

The master bedroom was empty.

Guiding the robot outside and systematically scanning the house, he found someone in the guest bedroom's bathroom on the second floor.

In the guest room, a person who should've been alright leaned against the wall, eyes shut, seemingly unconscious.

An empty bottle was in his hand.

Lou Dongcang always had a pallid complexion, so He Guan couldn't determine his condition through facial color alone. He directed the camera towards the floor.

The bottle was submerged in blood, strands of which were particularly dense.

It seemed the wound was on the upper arm, blood flowing down the side of the elbow, soaking the white sleeve, the blood luminous in its vivid redness.

"What is this? Why is it so red?"

"Arterial blood?"

Did he cut his radial artery in the elbow?

That area is easily scraped...

He quickly assessed the situation, turned on the robot's microphone, and called out anxiously, "Old Lou? Lou Dongzang? Are you awake? What are you doing?"

"What's going on? Why is the floor all red?"

No response.

Seeing no response from Lou Dongzang, he turned and said, "Junyan, drive faster! What's the speed limit on the mountain road? Stick to the lane! We're running out of time!"

In his haste, he forgot to call Uncle Yue. Remembering suddenly, he hurriedly turned off the video to make the call.

It was only when he heard the sound of the camera robot shutting down and its wheels turning to return to its charging station in the bedroom, that the immobile Lou Dongzang sat up.

He held onto the machine that was trying to escape.

It was worth it for him to search for the red ink and lie there for so long.

"Got you."

*

He had never run as fast as he did when he got home, almost dashing into the Dongzang Garden's main entrance. Du Junyan couldn't even get a clear look before his boss had vanished from the car.

When he rushed into the inner courtyard, he didn't smell blood like the last time.

Only then did he feel a bit relieved, continuing to race upstairs without pause.

Upon entering the guest room, Uncle Yue was standing right by the door.

For the first time, he didn’t even acknowledge Uncle Yue but checked on the other person in the room.

By then, Lou Dongzang had already stood up. Hearing He's labored breathing, he asked in confusion, "He Guan, what's the matter?"

He Guan grabbed his arm, rolling up the sleeve to the upper arm. Only when he didn't see a wound did he sigh in relief.

On touching it, he realized it wasn’t blood.

He finally felt at ease. Due to his run, his throat was dry. Swallowing hard, he managed to ask, "What's this on your arm?"

Lou Dongzang replied, "Ink."

He Guan: "Red?"

Lou Dongzang patiently explained, "Only red ink was left at home. The ink on the table had been smashed by me earlier. It took me a while to remember there was a bottle of red ink under the bathroom sink."

He Guan: "Why did it shatter?"

Lou Dongzang said, "I was so tired earlier that I sat down in the room and accidentally knocked the bottle against the wall, breaking it. I wanted to clean it, but ended up staining my sleeve. Since I was still sleepy, I decided to just go to sleep. You know I like sitting on the floor, don't you?"

He Guan took a deep breath and gulped down the water that Uncle Yue handed to him.

After handing over the water, Uncle Yue, still holding his phone, immediately left without lingering.

—It seemed he intended to call He Guan back, but before he could, He Guan had already arrived home.

With trembling hands, He Guan placed the empty cup on the bathroom sink and closed the guest room door.

Lou Dongzang trailed a step behind him, following him to the side of the bed.

He heard him sit down heavily on the bed.

The young man's voice trembled as he covered his face, saying with residual fear, "You scared me to death..."

Lou Dongzang moved half a step closer and knelt on one knee in front of him.

He Guan, oblivious to his actions, continued, "Do you know how terrified I was seeing your arm all red on the camera feed? I kept wondering how long it would take to get home from where I was. An arterial bleed might not have a high volume, but without timely first aid, you could bleed out... and you kept your eyes closed... I thought, I really thought..."

Lou Dongzang cut him off, stating bluntly, "You thought you'd come home to find my corpse?"

He Guan nodded, his face still covered.

He wanted to say more, but was interrupted by a voice so close to him. When he removed his hands, he saw Lou Dongzang, who had somehow knelt in front of him.

Eyes still shut, Lou Dongzang managed a faint smile, saying softly, "Now you understand how I felt hearing you were hurt over the phone."

He Guan was taken aback.

At that moment, he had been so consumed by Bai Xiaojue couple's emotions, unable to pull himself out.

The darkness outside was profound. The doors and windows were securely closed, with no birdsong filtering through, only the sound of their breathing.

He Guan held down his chest which had calmed down but was now once again in turmoil, and after a long pause said, "Are you out of your mind? My injury was just superficial, and I had a tetanus shot. You heard it, didn't you?"

Lou Dongzang replied, "All I had was red ink."

He Guan didn't want to speak.

Lou Dongzang gently placed a hand on his knee, urging, "Talk to me."

He Guan grumbled, "Isn't Uncle Yue at home? Go to him. I don't want to deal with you right now."

He stood up, "I'm going to close the door."

Lou Dongzang asked, "Close which door?"

He Guan responded, "The main gate of Dongzang Garden. I came in so quickly I didn't shut it. I'll go close it now."

Lou Dongzang said, "Hurry back."

As He Guan went to close the door, he realized he lacked the strength in his hand.

He sharply rapped the inside of his wrist against the door latch, managing to secure the lock of the traditional courtyard door. Immediately, a red mark surfaced on his wrist.

After a moment of thought, He Guan let his forehead rest against the wooden door, slowly sliding down to embrace his head.

Several minutes later, he managed to stand, his legs shaky. Only when he made his way back to the small building past the seventh gate did he realize he was famished.

He Guan asked, "Uncle, is there anything to eat? I'm starving."

With the scare over, he felt as if the terrifying thoughts that had plagued him were now expelled with his sweat, leaving him in dire need of sustenance.

Lou Dongzang had already descended the stairs. Hearing He Guan's words, he fetched the chocolate cake they had bought earlier, suggesting, "Let's warm it in the oven."

He Guan remained silent.

He didn't engage in Lou Dongzang's conversation, didn't initiate chat, and declined the half-eaten chocolate cake that was clearly reserved for him.

This was his demeanor all the way until bedtime.

He Guan went upstairs to brush his teeth and freshen up but encountered a dilemma when it was time to sleep.

Where to sleep?

As he hesitated in the master bedroom, Lou Dongzang, now changed into his nightwear, entered and blocked his exit.

Lou Dongzang suggested, "Sleep with me."

He Guan stayed silent.

He knew he was giving Lou Dongzang the silent treatment. The fault wasn't Lou's but his own for misunderstanding the situation.

Still, the lingering fear from earlier made his heart race.

"In his current state, speaking might only lead to sharp words. It's better he remains silent."

The very mouth that was eloquent during discussions with others seemed to have failed him now, unable to utter even a single word.

He Guan tried to move past him, aiming for the guest room.

But Lou Dongzang, with his acute hearing, caught him by the shoulder as he tried to pass.

Just as He Guan attempted to shake him off, he heard Lou say, "I know you injured your arm, but I'm not sure which one, so I won't grab it. Don't push me away."

Through the fabric of He Guan's shirt, it felt as if Lou's warmth was seeping through.

Feeling uneasy, He Guan didn't listen and kept trying to leave.

Lou Dongzang warned, "If you try to leave again, I'll hold you."

It was then that He Guan halted.

Lou Dongzang repeated, "Sleep with me, alright?"

He Guan remained silent, but he didn't pull away.

Lou Dongzang paused for a moment, then said, "Please talk to me... If you don't, then no one will."

In a sulky tone, He Guan replied, "I'm not in a good mood. I want to sleep alone."

Lou Dongzang remarked, "You've slept alone when upset before. Did it help?"

He Guan: "..."

It didn't.

Otherwise, He Guan wouldn't have met such an early end in his previous life.

Today, the realization that someone he considered family could have died triggered memories from his past life, engulfing him like a raging deep sea, threatening to drown him.

He had spent a year feeling like that after the incident.

Yet, he didn't want to burden others with his feelings.

Each of Lou Dongzang's words seemed to step on his heartstrings, "You think you'd be a bother to me, don't you?"

He Guan: "...Yes."

Lou Dongzang's voice grew softer, "Aren't I... your family?"

He Guan pressed his eyes and instead of leaving, reached out to shut the master bedroom door.

It was a tacit agreement.

Lou Dongzang asked, "Which arm is injured?"

He Guan replied, "Left."

Lou Dongzang proposed, "Let's switch places then."

He was referring to their positions on the bed.

That way, he wouldn't accidentally touch He Guan's arm.

He Guan responded, "...Okay."

As He Guan lay on the bed, he was still bewildered by the turn of events.

Previously, they'd always slept far apart because the bed was spacious.

Tonight, however, Lou Dongzang intentionally positioned himself close, his arm touching He Guan's.

He Gu lay with his eyes open, silent for a long time. He intended to stay awake until dawn when he suddenly felt a hand approaching from the person beside him. Gently, it brushed against his waist.

... seemingly trying to check the condition of his arm.

He Gu looked at him, “Luo Dongzang, can you please stop fidgeting?”

Luo Dongzang halted and responded, "I thought you were asleep."

He Gu, sounding defeated, said, "I'm on edge right now. Don't get too close..."

He Gu felt like he had PTSD, reacting to the slightest movement like a startled hamster holding a sunflower seed, uncertain where to run and choosing instead to remain motionless.

He Gu began to get up, "I'm not asleep. Just stay still and go to sleep. I can't control myself... Maybe I should go to the guest room."

Before he could finish, he was skillfully pulled close by the waist and found himself thrust back onto the bed.

He Gu was embraced by Luo Dongzang.

Held tightly, he felt no pain, only the weight of another on him and a cold scent he couldn't identify nearing him.

His anxiety had grown so severe he could barely use his nose.

Luo Dongzang lay atop him, holding him close, pressing their bodies together, and whispered, "I won't die now."

He Gu moved a finger, unable to grasp what he was saying.

He was slow to react.

He felt like a wind-up toy trying to wind itself up, now half-wound, forcibly stopped by someone else.

A penetrating voice reached him, cutting through his muddled thoughts, "I said I won't die."

"It was you who saved me. As long as you're by my side, I won't take my own life."

"Wasn't it you who held me like this in the bathroom that day?"

"Unless you let go of me, I won't let go of you, even when you're feeling down."

"You can rely on me, seek me out, and tell me how upset you are."

"Don't be alone."

"I won't die, He Gu. I won't. How could I? Aren't you right here with me?"

"Aren't I holding you right now?"

Suddenly, He Gu held him tightly. Silent tears poured forth, drenching the thin fabric of Luo Dongzang's clothes.

Once his tears subsided, He Gu, voice hoarse, stated slowly, "I damn well don’t want to go to the crematorium alone to collect an urn. Do you understand?"

Luo Dongzang promptly admitted his mistake, "Understood, not even the Phoebe wood ones."

He Gu: "..."

Truly a case of shooting oneself in the foot for the second time, and it was his own words.

Luo Dongzang chuckled softly, "Being able to joke with you means I'm not bothered anymore. Tired?"

He Gu: "You really are incorrigible... somewhat."

He hadn't realized it before, but after crying, his eyes hurt, his head felt heavy, and he just wanted to sleep immediately.

But He Gu still had something to ask.

He'd been wanting to ask since he saw Bai Xiaoju.

Luo Dongzang: "Mhm."

After speaking, he turned slightly, making He Gu adjust with him, positioning them to lie face to face.

He Gu was held by the back of his neck against Luo Dongzang's chest, forced to use his arm as a pillow. Feeling awkward, he asked, "Doesn't your arm feel numb?"

Luo Dongzang's voice, laden with drowsiness, tightened his hold upon noticing He Gu's discomfort, "It doesn't."

He Gu continued, "Aren't you cold wearing such thin clothes? The city's heating is off."

Luo Dongzang replied, "I'm not cold."

As He Gu returned to his senses, he couldn't help but become talkative, doubtingly asking, "Really? Don't lie to me. Just because you're always cold doesn't mean you should ignore it."

Having comforted He Gu, Luo Dongzang mumbled something in his drowsy state.

He Gu instinctively asked, "What?"

He even thought he might have misheard.

Thinking He Gu hadn't heard him, Luo Dongzang repeated, "I have you, don't I? You're the warmest."

His last action before drifting off was to stroke the hair at the back of He Gu's head.

He Gu murmured softly, "But you're so cold..."

In response, he received a tighter embrace and a gentle nuzzle against his forehead.

The front of his shirt was damp from He Gu's tears, and now, pressed close, He Gu inevitably felt his own wetness.

His hands, which always felt so devoid of warmth, always seemed to chill He Gu when they came near.

Yet, he remained lucid.

Right, this wasn't the original plot anymore.

Luo Dongzang had been blind for just over two months when He Gu came into contact with him, so his current condition should be much better than how it was described later in the book.

He wouldn't suddenly vanish or die.

Today's events made He Gu realize that for him, Luo Dongzang is no longer just a paper-thin character from a novel but a real, living...

Family member.

In those minutes squatting by the door, He Gu pondered over the origins of this profound emotion. Although he was startled by the intensity of his feelings, he never fully grasped it.

Because it felt so natural.

...It grew quietly, unnoticed.

Just like when spring arrives, flowers bloom. Unnoticed at first, but then they suddenly proliferate, from the foot of the mountain to its peak, bursting with life and vibrant beauty.

He couldn't bear to see Luo Dongzang hurt or in danger.

*

Until just a moment ago, there was something He Gu still didn't understand.

Why did Bai Xiaoju continue to stay by Tong Gang's side?

Clearly, a significant portion of their expenses went to his excessive drinking.

And it was this very issue that made him susceptible to manipulation, leading him to conceive such a selfish plan.

Just then, He Gu began to somewhat empathize with Bai Xiaoju.

Even if Tong Gang was an alcoholic, when he was sober, he remained human, treating her well and helping with chores.

He was a family member who had been with her for years, deeply ingrained in her being.

She wanted to pull him out of his situation, wished to stay by his side beyond her abilities, and arrogantly believed she could save him.

Just like... just like how He Gu felt.

Could he really save Luo Dongzang?

He didn't know.

But doing nothing was even more out of the question.

He Gu placed his injured hand on Luo Dongzang and snuggled closer.

Sensing his movement in his sleep, Luo Dongzang opened his arms, embracing He Gu tightly, his lips near He Gu's ear, breathing gently.

His broad shoulders blocked He Gu's view towards the window.

He Gu diverted his gaze and obediently closed his eyes.

A dreamless night followed.

Author's note:

I've revised the text; comments might not align with the main content.

——2022.4.8 5：33

I. Revision progress: Half of chapter 23 is done.

II. This is the update for April 3rd. The next update will be at 23:59:59 on April 5th.

PS: Today's delay was because I've been busy revising earlier parts, even rewriting several sections. I was so engrossed that I forgot about today's update until I checked comments on my phone. I hadn't finished writing for yesterday, so I apologize... (-ω-`)