Chapter 46: Discussion - Are you sure you don't want to give it a try with me?

He Guan: "Alright."

Lou Dong Cang's request wasn't too much to ask.

After all, they had shared a bed for some time before, so He Guan was quite accepting of the situation.

With other matters, He Guan might have had reservations.

Just sleeping together at night was completely acceptable.

Lou Dongzang: "Starting tonight?"

He Guan: "Alright."

Lou Dongzang released his hand from the doorframe.

He Guan, no longer on guard and given that the "negotiation" had concluded, naturally relaxed a bit and attempted to walk past Lou Dongzang.

The doorway to the washroom wasn’t wide enough for two adult males to pass through simultaneously.

He Guan shifted slightly, trying to sidestep and exit past him.

He hadn't anticipated that Lou Dongzang would suddenly reach out, wrapping his arms around him as if he could foresee his every move.

When Lou Dongzang's slightly cool body warmth enveloped him, He Guan didn’t resist.

He was held even tighter by Lou Dongzang.

One second, then two.

He Guan grabbed the hand that was trying to sneak under his clothes, attempting to push him away. But Lou Dongzang reacted even faster and immediately let go.

Lou Dongzang raised both hands: "I surrender. No more funny business today – that was the last time."

He Guan: "...Today?"

Lou Dongzang nodded: "Today."

He Guan, trying to pull away from the mood set by Lou Dongzang and revert to his usual tone, remarked, "If you've got nothing better to do, can you not stick to me all the time? Go plant your flower first."

Lou Dongzang: "It's already planted."

He Guan: "So soon? Did you fertilize it too?"

Lou Dongzang: "Just a little fertilizer, done quickly."

He Guan: "Did Uncle Yue help you with the mix?"

Lou Dongzang: "Yes."

He Guan: "...Oh."

No sooner had He Guan stepped out than Lou Dongzang was right on his heels. He Guan considered walking faster, but he knew that would only make Lou Dongzang catch up even quicker.

...And so, the two quickly ended up in the kitchen on the first floor.

Uncle Yue was in the kitchen marinating meat when he saw the two enter one after the other. With mild surprise, he remarked, "What brings you both here? That hungry, are we?"

He Guan went to the fridge, saying, "I'm starving."

He found two bananas inside, peeled one, and began devouring it.

The man at the door spoke up, "He Guan, I want one too."

He Guan paused mid-chew.

Truth be told, Lou Dongzang's recent behavior, aside from perplexing He Guan, also brought a subtle sense of joy.

Because Lou Dongzang seemed more lively than before, no longer resembling a lost soul in a decaying shipwreck.

He Guan responded, "If you want one, grab it yourself. I've told you where the fridge is."

Lou Dongzang retorted, "Then you'll have to tell me where the bananas are..."

He Guan urged, "So come and get it quickly."

As Lou Dongzang reached into the chilled section, He Guan gave his hand a slight nudge, guiding him to the bananas.

He Guan withdrew his hand and started assisting Uncle Yue with sorting the vegetables.

After Lou Dongzang finished his banana, he waited for He Guan to be free, then handed him the banana peel.

The property was expansive, and even with two side courtyards at each entrance and the flower wall that He Guan had built, the vast expanse in front of the two-story building still felt vast when the wind swept through.

Hence, from He Guan's seat at the table, he could perfectly witness the sun setting, the horizon swallowing the last tinge of orange, immersing the mansion in cool, serene tranquility.

Lou Dongzang took the seat opposite him.

He Guan inquired, "Not heading upstairs this time?"

Picking up his chopsticks, Lou Dongzang replied, "Plans have changed. Wherever you are, I am."

He Guan remained silent.

After their meal, Uncle Yue, complaining of back pain, retired early, leaving the two to clear the table.

He Guan gave the dishes a quick rinse and handed them to Lou Dongzang, who stood beside him.

Lou Dongzang felt for the slots inside the dishwasher, ensuring each dish was placed correctly.

Handing over the final plate, He Guan stood under the dim light, lost in thought by the sink.

Lou Dongzang, after closing the dishwasher, inquired, "What's on your mind?"

Without hesitation, He Guan replied, "You."

Lou Dongzang: "I'm flattered."

He Guan stared at a small dark spot on the wall, unable to determine if it was a stain or something else. He continued gazing as he said, "Avoiding you doesn't seem feasible, unless I leave on a business trip right now and stay away for a week."

Lou Dongzang burst into laughter.

He Guan turned to look at him, watching as he leaned against the kitchen counter, laughing for a while. Finally, he remarked, "What's so funny? I'm seriously discussing our next move with you."

Lou Dongzang: "So, have you reached any conclusions?"

He Guan: "Still thinking."

As Lou Dongzang straightened up, intending to approach, He Guan quickly discerned his intent and warned, "Stay back. If you come closer, I'm leaving."

Lou Dongzang: "What level of defense is this now?"

He Guan: "...Level one? I'm not sure. I've only ever used it with you."

Lou Dongzang: "No one else has pursued you?"

He Guan reflected.

He wasn't very old when he died. He had worked in the family company for three years. Technically, he was 25, not much older than Lou Dongzang.

Added to that, his demanding job left him little time. While some business partners had shown interest, most adult relationships were built on mutual benefits.

A few meetings and then off to a hotel room?

That didn't align with He Guan's conservative views on relationships.

He Guan: "There were, but I rejected them."

Lou Dongzang: "Why?"

He Guan: "Mostly, I'm just tired. I'd rather not talk about it."

Lou Dongzang: "Are you tired now?"

He Guan: "Yes, a bit. Commuting daily between the city and here is exhausting. Plus, you irritated me yesterday. It took me a long time to recover after sleeping."

He Guan only mentioned being tired from the commute, not Lou Dongzang's current approach.

In reality, Lou Dongzang's straightforward, unabashed declaration of pursuing He Guan doesn't tire him.

Laying all your cards on the table for someone to choose, working hard without being overly pushy is a style He Guan truly appreciates.

Lou Dongzang reflected sincerely: "It won't happen again. I promise you'll sleep well tonight."

He Guan nearly laughed: "You promise not to annoy me in the future? Do you even believe that?"

Lou Dongzang: "Not like I did yesterday."

He Guan genuinely chuckled: "If this was a dating simulation game, you're starting with a negative affection score to make it easier to earn points later on?"

Lou Dongzang laughed along: "A desperate move."

He Guan: "For someone so sharp, why would you do that?"

Lou Dongzang: "I have no regrets."

Yawning, He Guan went to wipe off a black spot, only to discover it was a black sesame seed after one swipe.

He said, "Didn't you mention pursuing someone requires a keen eye? Your eyesight isn't great, huh? I'm genuinely not interested in men. Whenever I see you now, I just want to hide..."

Even though he'd slept all day, he felt drowsy after eating.

When He Guan gets sleepy, he speaks more carelessly, as if his tongue is too lazy to twist around, and he tends to speak his mind.

Lou Dongzang: "But I think I'm making good progress."

He Guan: "Who gave you that impression?"

The man moved closer, keeping a small distance between them and said with a smile, "Obviously, it's you."

He Guan, rubbing away a tear brought on by drowsiness: "I've clearly rejected you. Lou Dongzang, everything I do for you now is out of humanitarian relief and fulfilling my professional duties."

Lou Dongzang: "Isn't that great?"

He Guan, snapping back to clarity: "You call that great? I thought physical contact was your metric, being able to hug and cuddle defined 'great'."

Lou Dongzang: "If this really was a game, then those would just be bonuses. The main storyline is about your attitude towards me."

He Guan: "What?"

His attitude towards Lou Dongzang wasn't necessarily bad, but it wasn't particularly good these past few days either.

At least he showed no signs of accepting him.

Lou Dongzang: "Although you took care of me, you never saw us on the same level."

"In your eyes, I'm merely a patient."

"Isn't it better now? Seeing me as an equal, as another man."

He Guan was momentarily speechless, then said: "Should I also thank you for broadening my horizons?"

Lou Dongzang nodded gravely: "If you truly thank me, I'd accept it."

He Guan stared, flabbergasted: "...Do you have no shame?"

Lou Dongzang: "You've asked me that several times. The answer is no."

Seeing him press closer, He Guan looked for an exit strategy, urging, "Stop right there, enough."

Lou Dongzang: "I can't stop; I have more to ask."

He Guan compromised: "One last question."

Lou Dongzang: "Alright."

He Guan: "Speak."

Lou Dongzang: "Why can't you even give it a try with me? Does the gender truly matter so much to you?"

He Guan: "Let's not discuss that now. The main reason is I've never considered spending my life with someone else..."

But as He Guan spoke, a memory resurfaced...

No, he had considered it.

He had indeed thought about it.

Back when he first arrived at Zang Dong Garden.

He considered staying here with Lou Dongzang, taking care of him indefinitely.

At the time, he thought... the likelihood of spending the rest of his life with Lou Dongzang was high, combined with their intertwined professions and statuses. Once he became part of the Lou family, it would be difficult to leave in the short term.

This realization seemed to topple his prior determination, dissolving his previous evasions and defenses.

The reason He Guan had been rejecting Lou Dongzang these past days was partly because...

He simply didn't want to be in a relationship.

Regardless of gender, he couldn't imagine growing old with someone, finding little joys or facing trivial disagreements day by day.

Coupled with the fact that his parents dumped their failing company onto him, He Guan harbors a deep-seated distrust in human relationships.

If even one's own parents can behave in such a manner, how can a random stranger from billions possibly walk through life's many years with him?

Yet, now, somehow, and at some unknown point...

There seems to be such a person.

How did this happen?

This question momentarily stumped He Guan. Unsure if he should voice his genuine thoughts, he lowered his head in contemplation, only to sense a shadow looming before him.

Lou Dongzang: "By saying 'let's not discuss that now,' do you mean... there's still a chance for me?"

Pressed by him, He Guan took a step back, frowning, "Hold on, I never said you had a chance. I'm still thinking. Don't..."

Lou Dongzang's words lingered on his lips, never fully articulated.

I can't let you think this through.

He continued, "Discussing the next steps implies there's a chance for me, doesn't it? Otherwise, couldn't you just reject me outright? Why the need for discussion?"

"Or, let me rephrase—how does it feel after refusing me for two days?"

"You're not as cheerful as before. Ah Guan, you've become so much more serious these days, haven't you?"

He Guan scrunched his brows, "Can you not talk like that? And stop calling me 'Ah Guan'. It's awkward..."

As he spoke, he took another step back, finding himself unknowingly cornered at the door.

Another step back and He Guan bumped into the doorknob, feeling a sharp jab.

His attention briefly diverted by the knob, he then felt a hand cushioning between his waist and the handle.

"If not 'Ah Guan', then what should I call you?"

"Xiao Guan? Guan Guan?"

With a smile, Lou Dongzang leaned in, kissing He Guan's hair, "Really, you won't even give us a try?"