Chapter 47: Pushing the Limits - Let's Give it a Try.

"Really, not even a hint of affection?"

"Not the slightest flutter in your heart?"

He Guan felt uncomfortable in his embrace, struggling to break free.

"What's wrong with letting me hold you? Weren't you so generous before? What's the big deal about being hugged by a man?"

"Why are you now feeling embarrassed to be in my arms?"

He Guan tried to wriggle free, but the grip around his waist grew increasingly tight, and the words spoken became audaciously bold.

He Guan: "Let go of me..."

Lou Dongzang: "I won't release you until you give me an answer. It's fine, keep thinking—just do it in my arms. Once you're sure, I'll let go."

He Guan: "..."

However, Lou Dongzang's insistence on letting him think didn't mean he'd allow He Guan peace to do so.

As He Guan tried to contemplate, Lou Dongzang's breath filled his ears.

Lou Dongzang's nose brushed against He Guan's ear, questioning him in such an assertive manner.

"He Guan, dating me won't kill you. It's just a relationship. Give it a try with me. If it doesn't work out, we part amicably."

"What do you say?"

"Would dating me be so disadvantageous to you?"

He Guan felt a tingling sensation in his ears.

Lou Dongzang gently kissed his earlobe, whispering, "Don't tremble."

He Guan felt enveloped in a warm embrace, with comforting strokes across his back.

It was a gesture of reassurance.

"I won't blackmail you with my blindness."

"I'd never resort to such a despicable tactic to force you into a relationship."

What Lou Dongzang meant to convey was...

He wouldn't ask He Guan if the refusal to date him was due to his blindness.

He Guan had no intentions of discriminating against Lou Dongzang's visual impairment. Yet, his interest in dating him was minimal. If Lou Dongzang were to use that angle against him after a rejection, it would morally corner He Guan.

Is it discrimination against the blind?

Is the lack of interest in dating him because he's blind?

This would place He Guan in the most challenging dilemma.

But he wouldn't go there.

He Guan wanted to convey that he hadn't considered Lou Dongzang to that extent yet.

Lou Dongzang added with a smile, "I'm too busy liking you to ever use my blindness as a threat against you."

He Gu stopped his struggles.

After a moment of silence, he said, "What's there to like about me?"

Lou Dongcang replied, "What's not to like? I adore everything about you."

He Gu chuckled, "You really have a way with words... What do you adore most?"

Lou Dongcang gazed at him, "You make me feel loved."

He Gu looked taken aback, "When did I?"

Lou Dongcang: "I used to dislike opening my eyes."

He Gu: "How's that related to our current topic?"

Lou Dongcang: "My father was superstitious. He believed my eyes were ill-omened. After I lost my sight, he not only forbade me from opening them, but he also gave me a string of Buddhist beads to constantly hold."

He Gu's brows knitted, "Why would he..."

Lou Dongcang: "He doesn't matter."

Lou Dongcang smiled and embraced him, "What matters is you."

He Gu: "... Enough of your sweet talk."

Lou Dongcang: "Now, I open my eyes often."

He Gu: "... Why?"

Lou Dongcang: "Forgot?"

He Gu looked up in confusion, their eyes meeting, "Should I remember?"

He Gu was captivated by the beauty of Lou Dongcang's eyes.

Lou Dongcang: "You were the first to compliment my eyes."

He Gu: "... Can I say it was a slip of the tongue now?"

Lou Dongcang chuckled and held him tighter, "Too late for that."

They exchanged playful banter, then both fell silent.

He Gu stood still, wrapped in Lou Dongcang's embrace.

After what felt like an eternity, he spoke, "I don't think it's my doing. Maybe it's just that you haven't interacted with people for a long time."

Lou Dongcang: "What did you say? Repeat that."

He Gu: "I meant, maybe because I've been with you, you have the illusion of feeling loved..."

Lou Dongcang: "He Gu, never doubt whether you can bring love to someone. Just by being here, you make me feel loved."

He Gu blinked and added the final note, "... and yet, it's not the love you seek."

It wasn't the romance Lou Dongcang yearned for.

It was merely a familial affection that He Gu felt out of concern for Lou Dongcang.

As He Gu relaxed, he was embraced even tighter.

Lou Dongcang bowed his head, pressing his lips against He Gu's nape.

"That's why I'm courting you now, seeking the love I desire."

The love I long for.

He Gu, still startled, responded, "…I’ve never been in a relationship. I don’t know how, I don't understand, and you'll get hurt."

Lou Dongcang: "No one knows everything. And what's the harm in trying? Am I afraid of getting hurt?"

He Gu paused and said, "The most crucial point is... I don’t want to."

Noticing the change in He Gu’s mood, Lou Dongcang asked, "Why still the hesitation?"

He Gu closed his eyes for a moment, "Imagine if it doesn't work out. How awkward it would be living under the same roof every day."

Lou Dongcang: "It won't be."

He Gu: "?"

Lou Dongcang: "This place is vast. Choose a room I can't find. You can live near the second entrance; you won't see me, and I won't find you."

He Gu: "...Do you plan to live and die here?"

Lou Dongcang: "Unless something unexpected happens, yes."

Such a sudden declaration made He Gu somewhat sad.

This place was, after all, Lou Dongcang's home, yet he might not even find his way to the main door.

Lou Dongcang was implying... He Gu could leave anytime.

While He Gu might feel trapped in the kitchen, embraced by him...

It's Lou Dongcang who's truly confined to this vast estate.

He Gu, feeling a bit more at ease, gently touched his arm, "It's cold."

Lou Dongcang shifted slightly, "Did my long sleeves chill you too?"

He Gu: "I'm not sure. But when I'm near, it feels refreshingly cool, like an ice pack."

Lou Dongcang: "Do you mind it?"

He Gu: "I don't know."

He had uttered "I don't know" many times tonight, a stark contrast to the decisive He Gu at the starfield conferences.

It had been a long time since He Gu considered getting closer to anyone.

It's exhausting, complicated, and unpredictable.

Yet deep down, He Gu knew he wasn't averse to it; otherwise, when Lou Dongcang held him tightly earlier, he would've already sought an escape.

Despite Lou Dongcang's strength, if He Gu were resolute about escaping, he couldn't be stopped.

Such choices left He Gu bewildered.

He tried to dissuade Lou Dongcang with common reasons, like the risks of a relationship, only to have those reasons methodically addressed and tossed back at him.

And it was heart-wrenching.

He Gu: "You said so."

Lou Dongcang: "Yes, I did."

He Gu raised his arms, for the first time initiating an embrace around Lou Dongcang.

Gentle as it was, it was still an embrace.

He Gu: "... Holding you does feel quite comforting."

Lou Dongcang paused, asking, "What did you say?"

He Gu: "I said you feel refreshingly cool, with a pleasant touch."

In truth, he'd loved that sensation from the beginning.

He Gu, who had been wrestling with his feelings for nearly twenty minutes while being held, finally gave a clear response.

Earlier, Lou Dongcang had mentioned, "With the weather getting warmer, embracing me feels good."

Now He Gu replied, "It indeed does."

Lou Dongcang then released his embrace around He Gu.

He Gu: "Hmm? Why let go..."

He Gu felt a grip on his wrist pulling him aside. This time, he leaned against the door, avoiding the uncomfortable door handle.

The hand holding him, trembling slightly from disbelief, intertwined assertively with He Gu's fingers. Lou Dongcang then lowered his head, enveloping He Gu entirely.

For a fleeting moment, He Gu felt as if he was pinned against the door by a python.

In front of him was Lou Dongcang's body, his palm enveloped by the other's fingers, and Lou Dongcang's lips close to his ear.

Lou Dongcang's voice quivered slightly, "Did you agree?"

He Gu: "... Didn't you say we're just trying this out?"

Lou Dongcang cleared his throat, "Yes."

He Gu: "Then... let's give it a shot."

After all, he had nothing to lose.

As the words left his mouth, Lou Dongcang, unable to restrain himself, planted a quick kiss on He Gu's ear.

This wasn't like the gentle breeze-like kiss from before. This kiss was fervent. The lingering moisture left He Gu's scalp tingling.

The hand that Lou Dongcang held tightened, nearly pushing into the door with the force of Lou Dongcang's grip.

He Gu reflexively lifted his leg, but the man pinning him instantly noticed and firmly held him down.

With a tremor in his voice filled with laughter, Lou Dongcang coaxed, "Relax, He Gu... Don't run. I won't kiss you again. I'm... I'm just overjoyed."

He Gu: "..."

Words failed him.

For some reason, his ears seemed especially sensitive. The sensation spread from the tip to the root, an intense heat that seemed to scorch even his hair.

His teeth were chattering.

He felt embarrassingly weak.

Moreover, Lou Dongcang's uncontrollable reaction made He Gu realize something. For a moment, elation overwhelmed him, and he too began to laugh.

The kitchen window was open, and a gust of cool breeze entered, helping He Gu regain some clarity.

He playfully nudged Lou Dongcang's foot.

"Lou Dongcang, close the window."

It took a while for Lou Dongcang to reply, "... In a bit."

He Gu was puzzled, "Why?"

He had just agreed to give this a shot, and already Lou Dongcang was being disobedient?

Lou Dongcang chuckled and held him tighter, "Who knows when I'll get to hold you like this again... I'm making the most of it now."

After a moment, he spoke again, "Mr. He, please disregard my earlier words. Just let me hold you for two more minutes, I beg you."

As Lou Dongzang gently enveloped him in a close embrace, He Guan considered the request and silently consented, not uttering a word.

Such a hug was within his comfort zone. If it weren't for Lou Dongzang's earlier surprise move, letting him embrace for a while longer wouldn't be an issue.

However, it seemed Lou Dongzang thought He Guan couldn't handle it.

Let him think that way then.

Serves him right.

Two minutes passed, perhaps more, before Lou Dongzang voluntarily let go.

As Lou Dongzang withdrew his hand, He Guan reflexively lifted his fingertips slightly.

...The warmth he felt had abruptly left.

Lou Dongzang turned to close the window. Standing right behind him, He Guan said, "Move back a couple of steps."

After shutting the window, Lou Dongzang commented, "I doubt I'll sleep tonight."

Snapping back to the present moment, He Guan stretched, "That's good, let's stay up together. I slept too much this morning anyway, so I can't sleep now."

Lou Dongzang pivoted to face him, "It's hard to resist you when you're like this."

He Guan stood still, teasing, "Say that again? Who are you flirting with? What did you promise before?"

Lou Dongzang's words were playful, but he remained motionless, merely engaging in casual banter with He Guan.

Promises of behaving were only when he was pursuing you.

Now, he has succeeded.

Dodging the topic, Lou Dongzang inquired, "Shall we head to bed?"

He Guan replied, "Mhm."

As they settled for the night, Lou Dongzang asked, "So I really can't kiss you? Is it that uncomfortable?"

Silence lingered on He Guan's end for several seconds.

As Lou Dongzang awaited an affirmative response, he was suddenly hit in the face by a soft force.

He Guan had thrown his pillow at him but stopped after one hit.

He Guan clicked his tongue, "Why didn't you dodge?"

Holding the pillow, Lou Dongzang chuckled, "Why would I avoid my wife's hits? It didn't hurt."

He Guan snatched his pillow back, "Enough with your cheekiness. Let's sleep."

He half-expected Lou Dongzang to continue teasing.

It wasn't until they were on the verge of sleep that He Guan suddenly clarified, "Also, I'm the husband."

Lou Dongzang chuckled, "Alright, you are. Goodnight, husband."

There was a distinct rustle as He Guan turned over in bed.

Lou Dongzang certainly heard it.

After all, neither of them was truly asleep.

In the depth of the night, time seemed to crawl even slower. He Guan opened his eyes, staring at the wall and blinking repeatedly.

He still couldn't fall asleep, having slept too much the day before.

Agreeing to Luo Dongcang was never in He Guan's life plan. Even now that he had, there remained a lingering uncertainty.

Could he truly fall for him?

He Guan's thoughts spiraled, a sudden tingle at his fingertip interrupted them.

Someone was tentatively reaching out to touch him.

Almost reflexively, He Guan twitched his ring finger.

In the past, the person would have withdrawn immediately.

But this time was different.

Now, the individual, having received a clear response, gently sought out He Guan's fingers, interlocking them warmly and stayed put.

It was as if they were boldly declaring:

"You've agreed to give us a chance; can you stop running away now?"

The corner of He Guan's mouth lifted in amusement. For some inexplicable reason, he felt a surge of happiness and squeezed back.

"Alright."