Chapter 54: If I falter, will you help me?

After the live stream ended, He Guan closed the app, turned off his iPad, and looked at his phone.

The first message he saw was from Ning Zhihe in WeChat.

Ning Zhihe: Relax, there won't be a contract termination. [thumbs-up.jpg]

He Guan: Thank you.

Apart from him, He Guan also received a message from Lou Qiushou.

Lou Qiushou: Little bro, let me know if you need anything~

He Guan (Kai): Thanks, sis~

Lou Qiushou: [pat-head.jpg]

Even the old master Lou unexpectedly sent a message.

Father-in-law: Is the fourth one (indicative of his wife) with you?

He Guan (Kai): Yes.

Father-in-law: That's good, that's good... You two rest. I won't disturb you further.

He Guan (Kai): Alright, dad, take care of your eyes and rest early.

Father-in-law: I know, I'm not blind yet, haha!

Lou Jijing and Lou Yi also sent messages right away.

All these messages conveyed one thing... The Lou family would stand firmly behind He Guan.

He Guan hadn't expected so many people to watch his live stream today.

After replying to the messages, He Guan put down his phone, looked at the person standing next to him, and said, "Aren't we leaving? Let's go to the room and sleep."

Lou Dongzang: "I don't want to leave; I'm still in a joyous mood. Let me touch."

He Guan stood up, pushed his chair under the dining table, and willingly placed Lou's hand on his face, saying, "Alright, touch away."

Lou Dongzang lightly brushed his temple, remarking, "Who would've thought... the person you professed your feelings for on a live stream has never heard you say 'I love you' to him?"

He Guan: "Hold on, that's an unfair demand. The situations aren't comparable..."

He intended to explain that he was still in the exploratory phase, unsure about being directly wooed to admit feelings, but was interrupted by Lou.

Lou Dongzang gently tapped He Guan's nose, inquiring affectionately, "Oh? What's so unfair about it?"

He Guan found himself at a loss for words.

Ever since he decided to give it a try with Lou Dongzang, he often felt he was a bit shorter in comparison.

Lou Dongzang was taller, and even a slight lean towards him brought an intimidating presence.

But Lou's tone was always gentle, his voice mellow.

No hints of deceit.

And just like that, He Guan's defenses were dismantled, succumbing to Lou's slow and passionate kiss.

He had never experienced a kiss like this before.

It was overwhelming, rendering him defenseless.

Lou's soft tongue coaxed him forward, as delicate as cotton candy, but whenever He Guan sought more, Lou cunningly evaded.

As the kiss deepened, He Guan's impatience took over. Trapped between the table and Lou's embrace, he instinctively tilted his head in pursuit.

This only made things easier for Lou.

He Guan's return to consciousness came much later.

A hand slid under his shirt hem, pinching his waist.

He Guan tensed up immediately. His first instinct was to pull back, but he bumped into the table, drawing in a sharp breath.

Lou Dongzang pulled back slightly, his voice still soft and low from the lingering kiss, asking, "Did you hurt yourself? I heard the bump. Are you okay?"

He Guan, flustered, held back Lou's hand from touching him: "I'm fine, didn't really hurt myself. Let's go back to our room."

It was then that Lou Dongzang realized something was amiss.

He Guan was uncomfortable with the gesture.

Lou Dongzang obediently lowered his gaze, saying, "Alright."

Lou's composed demeanor helped He Guan to slightly collect himself.

Upon realizing, He Guan's immediate reaction was to bite his lip.

He led Lou Dongzang into the room, his mind a chaotic jumble.

When He Guan previously confessed his feelings, he hadn't overthought it because he genuinely harbored affections for Lou Dongzang.

At the very least, he didn't dislike him.

But he hadn't considered at the time... how intimacy would unfold between two men.

He was familiar with intimacy between a man and a woman, though he wasn't particularly interested.

But how does it work between two men?

Surely being in a relationship isn't just about sharing a daily kiss, right?

Anxiety quickly consumed He Guan. His hands involuntarily tightened, becoming sweaty, which Lou Dongzang noticed.

Yet Lou Dongzang remained silent, allowing He Guan to guide him through the routine of washing up and taking a shower.

When he emerged, He Guan was lying on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.

Hearing Lou Dongzang pull back the covers to get into bed, He Guan instinctively said, "You're here."

Lou Dongzang: "Mm-hmm."

The person beside him didn't remain still as before; instead, he moved closer, smelling of shower gel, aiming to embrace He Guan.

Confused, He Guan held back his hands, "What are you doing? Why suddenly want to hug me?"

Lou Dongzang, hands halted by He Guan, didn't push further. After a moment's contemplation, he said, "Before you agreed to give us a try, I never did this. Is it strange for couples to sleep in each other's arms?"

This couldn't go on indefinitely; Lou Dongzang would find a way. It depended on He Guan's willingness.

The word "couple" uttered so casually by Lou Dongzang left He Guan tongue-tied, making him seem like a different person from the one who had boldly referred to a "loved one" during the live stream: "I... I..."

Lou Dongzang: "But after you fell asleep, I've cuddled you twice. You didn't seem to mind. Do you dislike it that much?"

He Guan: "Not really, but I..."

Lou Dongzang remained still, patiently waiting for He Guan to continue.

Yet, at that moment, He Guan wished Lou Dongzang would interject, saving him from the awkwardness of being at a loss for words.

Lou Dongzang's demeanor both comforted and unnerved He Guan.

The comfort came from knowing that if He Guan voiced his disapproval, Lou Dongzang would respect it without trying to touch him further.

The unease stemmed from He Guan's awareness that Lou Dongzang still harbored desires, and just because he refrained now didn't mean he wouldn't attempt in the future.

What comes after an embrace?

A kiss perhaps?

And then?

He found himself stuck at this point.

As he pondered, his hand remained intertwined with Lou Dongcang's. After noticing he'd been silent for quite a while, Lou Dongcang lifted his hand and lightly scratched the center of his palm with a nail.

Startled by the sudden touch, He Guan almost jumped out of the bed.

With a teasing smile, Lou Dongcang said, "You're so tense, Guan-guan."

He Guan, torn between fleeing and laughing, exclaimed, "Don't touch me so suddenly... You scared me to death!"

Lou Dongcang: "Should I warn you before every move from now on?"

"I'm going to touch you."

"I'm about to kiss you."

"To what extent should I notify you?"

"I'm touching your hand?"

"I'm about to kiss your lips?"

He Guan pondered for a moment, "Well, it doesn’t have to be that detailed..."

Lou Dongcang: "But you got so tense even with just a hug."

His tone was disappointed, with a hint of complaint.

It was the first time He Guan had heard him act so coquettishly. Softening, he said, "Okay, you can try hugging me slowly then..."

Lou Dongcang: "Really?"

He Guan: "...Yes, but if I say stop, you have to stop."

Lou Dongcang: "Alright."

Knowing he always kept his word, He Guan felt reassured, "Let's try again."

As he spoke, he felt the mattress dip slightly beside him.

Lou Dongcang had moved closer.

But He Guan waited and waited, and there was no next move from him.

Puzzled in the darkness, He Guan asked, "Why aren't you moving? Weren't you going to hug me?"

Lou Dongcang scratched the mattress and whispered, "I'm waiting for you to get comfortable."

In the darkness, every sound was magnified.

It felt like he was struggling to restrain himself, deserving of praise.

He Guan's heart melted completely.

He Guan: "...It's okay now."

Lou Dongcang then moved his hand again.

He Guan felt the blanket around his waist being lifted slightly by another's arm.

The man's hand rested on the opposite side of He Guan's waist, seemingly contemplating how to position it without inconveniencing himself.

Is a simple embrace this meticulous?

He Guan shifted to face him, facilitating the embrace, and asked, "Is this more convenient?"

Lou Dongcang: "Mm."

Almost immediately, He Guan felt the man's hand on his back, pulling him close. Lou Dongcang's chin rested on He Guan's shoulder with a gentle pressure.

He's still so thin... Why can't he put on some weight?

Distracted by this thought, He Guan nuzzled Lou Dongcang's shoulder as a gesture of affection.

The spot on his lower back where he'd bumped into the table earlier still throbbed faintly.

When Lou Dongcang embraced him, he accidentally touched that spot, causing He Guan to flinch, which didn't go unnoticed.

Immediately, Lou Dongcang paused and asked, "Does it hurt here? From the bump earlier?"

Throughout, his hands remained still.

He Guan: "It might be bruised, but it's not serious."

Lou Dongcang: "Want me to massage it?"

He Guan: "...Yes, please."

Lou Dongcang's hand returned, gently pressing over He Guan's pajamas.

The pajama fabric was cool and smooth, and with Lou Dongcang's gentle touch, it felt like a delicate snake slithering over the skin.

Associating the sensation with a snake, He Guan felt even more relaxed and directed, "Not in the center of the back, a bit lower."

"Here?"

"To the right."

"Here?"

"Ah... yes... that's a bit painful..."

After a while of Lou Dongcang's massaging, He Guan relaxed, feeling a tad overly dramatic.

He had been perfectly comfortable hugging Lou Dongcang before; why did attempting a romantic relationship make things awkward?

He caught Lou Dongcang's massaging hand and said, "Stop massaging. It's fine now. Come closer."

Lou Dongcang: "Alright."

But his version of "closer" was a mere slight shift.

He Guan hardly felt any change in the curvature of the blanket.

For the first time, he realized what it felt like to be cherished, blinking in the darkness and releasing Lou Dongcang's hand.

Mistaking it for rejection, Lou Dongcang, undisturbed, prepared to withdraw.

Unexpectedly, he felt a weight on his neck.

He Guan practically lunged at him, his arms wrapping around Lou Dongcang's neck, burying his face in it.

Lou Dongcang remained still: "Sleeping like this will be uncomfortable come morning."

He Guan: "...You talk too much."

He felt slightly embarrassed, making his response sound more harsh than intended.

Lou Dongcang gently unwrapped his arms and got out of bed.

Guessing he was probably the first person ever to have his embrace rejected after offering it, He Guan laughed incredulously, "What are you doing?"

Lou Dongcang moved to his side and pulled back the covers.

He Guan felt an emptiness in his grasp, but warmth enveloped him from behind.

He was hugged from behind, an arm wrapped around his waist.

Lou Dongcang: "This is better."

With a sigh, He Guan's irritation evaporated: "...Yeah."

As he was about to say something more, he felt a leg press against his feet.

Before He Guan could utter a word, Lou Dongcang whispered playfully into his ear, "Can you cut me some slack, Mr. He?"

Physical closeness, can you cut me some slack?

"Let me draw closer to you."

He Guan remained silent.

Soon, his breathing lightened as he drifted into sleep, tacitly consenting.

Lou Dongcang gently kissed the nape of his neck, lingering for a moment.

They fell asleep, entwined.

Upon waking, He Guan turned off the alarm, blinked a few times, and quickly became alert.

Lou Dongcang woke as well, asking, "Leaving already?"

Clearing his throat, He Guan murmured, "...It's the first time in days I've not felt like going to work."

Lou Dongcang: "Saying that makes me want to kiss you."

He Guan instinctively replied, "You can."

Lou Dongcang hesitated for a brief two seconds.

But before He Guan could reconsider, Lou Dongcang captured his face and they shared a passionate morning kiss.

He Guan: "I just... wait... let me check... eh, don't bite! Someone might see..."

He struggled to break away from the kiss but was continually pulled back in by Lou Dongcang, who ensured he had his fill.

By the time they parted, they were running a bit late.

A few more moments like that, and they'd be considerably behind schedule.

Silently vowing his steely resolve, He Guan slipped out from under Lou Dongcang's grasp and rushed to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

When he came out, Lou Dongcang was still in bed. Puzzled, He Guan began, "Why haven't you gotten up? So lazy..."

Realizing what Lou Dongcang was up to, He Guan quickly clamped his mouth shut.

The morning mood was so charged that Lou Dongcang even teased him between his actions.

"Guan, would you help me?"

Blushing, He Guan slammed the door behind him, exclaiming, "Help yourself!"

*

At work that morning, after Yan Xu reported on the day's schedule and left,

He Guan, while reviewing documents, suddenly put his pen down.

Typically, at this time, He Guan would be perusing documents and signing off on them; he wouldn't be doing anything else.

Today, however, he acted out of character and turned on his computer.

If someone were behind He Guan at this moment, they would notice...

With apprehension, He Guan clicked on a G/V video.

Author's note:

The area he's massaging is his waist... Censors, please spare me... What are you thinking... He merely rubbed the lower part of his back because he bumped into something... Censors, hear me out...

Earlier on, it wasn’t anything inappropriate; he just hugged him! He Guan is sensitive, so when Lou suddenly hugged him, he felt uncomfortable! Just let Lou wait a moment before hugging again! It really wasn't anything inappropriate! Help me QAQ, help me QAQ, I didn't mean anything wrong QAQ...