Chapter 57: Take a Bite, I Want to Hear You Cry.

He Guan was held closely, his eyes peacefully closed.

In the past, if Lou Dong exhibited such emotion, He Guan might have felt apprehensive, fearing he might get hurt. Now, all he felt was concern.

What was he thinking?

And he wouldn't share.

Lou Dong's emotional fluctuations came quickly but also vanished swiftly. Soon, He Guan felt the hand at his waist pull away.

Before parting, the man brushed against his ear with his head.

Or perhaps it was a kiss.

He Guan wasn't entirely sure, but he felt... indeed... like he had been given a light kiss.

Lou Dong's lips were warmer than his cheeks, and they felt particularly warm just then.

It must be the lips, no doubt.

After collecting his emotions, Lou Dongcang asked, "Heading back?"

He Guan held him in place and queried, "Do you want to continue our walk here?"

Lou Dongcang paused for a moment before replying, "Mhm, we haven't finished exploring yet."

He Guan: "I'll put the flowers inside then. I'll come out and find you shortly."

Lou Dongcang: "Alright."

As He Guan released his hold on Lou Dongcang and took just one step forward, he felt Lou Dongcang immediately follow, embracing him tightly around the waist from behind.

He Guan stood still, chuckling, "So clingy, aren't you? Didn't you promise to let me go?"

Lou Dongcang planted a soft kiss on the back of his head, whispering, "Changed my mind. The moment you took a step, I didn't want to let you go."

Now, He Guan was entirely aware of the kiss.

Moving from the back of his head downwards, leaving a trail of delicate kisses to the nape of his neck, Lou Dongcang affectionately nuzzled him with the tip of his nose.

He Guan tried to playfully dodge with a laugh, "That tickles... At this rate, I won't make it inside until mid-morning..."

Lou Dongcang teased, "Didn't someone fail to keep their promise?"

He Guan stuttered, "I... what promise?"

He was about to ask about the promise when he remembered what he had promised in the car...

That he would initiate the kiss.

Lou Dongzang: "Besides what was mentioned in the car, I have another request."

He Guan: "What?"

Lou Dongzang: "Stick out your tongue. A mere touch isn't enough."

He Guan: "..."

He Guan tilted his head, nuzzling up to him playfully, "Isn't that a bit too strict?"

Lou Dongzang said with a smile, "Is it strict? Didn't I just help you out, darling?"

He Guan: "...My bad, I won't be cheeky anymore."

Lou Dongzang released him.

To each his own, it's only fair.

He let go of He Guan and just stood there.

Waiting.

He Guan: "Can I get credit? Seriously, just this once."

Lou Dongzang: "Until when?"

He Guan: "What's the latest?"

Lou Dongzang paused for a moment: "One week."

He Guan: "Okay."

His mood seemed a bit down, but He Guan didn't seem in the mood to appease him.

It wasn't that He Guan didn't want to get close to Lou Dongzang now; it's just that... Lou Dongzang's desire to get close seemed like... using distant water to put out a nearby fire.

He wanted to overshadow the feeling of going blind by getting close to He Guan.

He Guan wouldn't agree.

He Guan had thought about it long ago. If Lou Dongzang truly went blind, then he'd have to face this issue head-on.

He Guan: "Stay here, I'll go to the small building."

Lou Dongzang was taken aback: "Small building? Wasn't it the old building just now?"

Mid-sentence, he realized He Guan was referring to the two-story building by the seventh entrance.

He Guan, holding back a smile, picked up the flower pot and said, "I'm off."

Before, He Guan wouldn't refer to the two-story building by the seventh entrance as a 'small building'. Mentioning it this way today was just his way of signaling that Lou Dongzang was depleting himself with the weight of his impending blindness.

Lou Dongzang seemed a bit slow to react.

Normally, Lou Dongzang wouldn't mistake the "small building" He Guan referred to as himself.

He Guan carried the flowers he had bought to the seventh entrance, took a short rest, washed his hands, then texted Lou Qiushou.

He Guan: "Sis, has he seen a counselor before?"

Lou Qiushou responded immediately as if she was free: "He did, but it was of no use. He wasn’t willing to communicate with the counselor. Plus, we were afraid the counselor might influence him, so it was left at that."

He Guan: "Okay, got it."

Lou Qiushou: "Are you with him now?"

He Guan: "Yes."

Lou Qiushou: "Don't wear yourself out. If it becomes too hard, just let it be. He won't blame you."

He Guan: "What do you mean?"

Lou Qiushou: "You’ve done very well. After all, I’ve known him for so many years and never saw him value someone this much. You’re the first."

Lou Qiushou: "As for the rest..."

Lou Qiushou: "Oh dear He Guan, if he can't figure it out himself, what can we do?"

Lou Qiushou: "Don't be too hard on yourself."

He Guan: "Thanks, sis."

However, He Guan neither agreed nor disagreed.

He remained noncommittal, put down his phone, and retrieved a steel-stringed acoustic guitar from the storeroom.

The guitar was of high quality with harder strings, just the kind He Guan preferred. It had been lying in its case for a long time, untouched.

He wiped off the dust on the guitar and sat on the front steps of the house, strumming it a bit to listen to its sound.

While he was idly strumming, someone with a white cane approached.

He Guan's fingers hesitated for a moment before quickly finding a tune that synced with the tapping of the white cane and began to play.

《When Life Gives Me Lemons I Make Lemonade》。

The person with the white cane came closer and stopped tapping.

He Guan stopped playing and asked, "Why did you stop? The tapping had a rhythm, like a metronome. We could have continued playing along."

Lou Dongzang reached out to him.

He Guan took his hand and said, "Come, sit on the steps."

He continued playing the song until its conclusion.

The song had an upbeat rhythm, and He Guan found himself humming along. By the end, the word 'lemonade' was looping in his mind.

The summer sun was bright, the sky clear, and birds sang continuously. Occasionally, a sparrow would hop into the yard, getting close to the guitar-playing He Guan.

Finishing his song, He Guan chuckled, "Lou, did you tame this sparrow? It's not even afraid of me."

Only after the song did Lou Dongzang suddenly say, "He Guan, don't be too good to me."

He Guan, with a playful grin, replied, "Hmm? I just wanted to give the guitar a try. I still have songs to complete. Didn't we agree to set up a music studio together? I can't just stand by idly."

Lou Dongzang remained silent.

Lou Dongzang hesitated, "...I'll fall in love with you."

He Guan was taken aback, "What did you say?"

Lou Dongzang, despite confessing, looked conflicted as if struggling with a dilemma, "If you're too good... I'll fall for you."

Startled, He Guan accidentally struck the guitar strings, producing an unintended note.

The noise startled the sparrow, causing it to fly away.

He Guan was momentarily tongue-tied, "So... what does that mean?"

Was this all so sudden?

The unexpected confession left He Guan momentarily speechless. He wanted to say, 'I'll love you too. It's okay. Don't be afraid.'

But Lou Dongzang didn't speak again.

Frowning, He Guan sought clarity, "Wait, what are you implying? Just a few days ago, you agreed I could intervene in your matters. Now you're asking me to back off? And what's with saying you'd fall for me as if it's something shameful?"

What's wrong with loving him?

The more He Guan thought about it, the more frustrated he became.

Lou Dongzang, visibly troubled, responded, "I meant... you don't need to concern yourself with every little thing on my mind. I think too much, often uncontrollably. If you tried to appease me for everything, you'd wear yourself out."

He had recognized He Guan's attempt to comfort him with the song.

He Guan was somewhat bewildered.

If Lou Qiushou's words had slightly puzzled He Guan, Lou Dongzang's words had left him entirely perplexed.

He Guan frowned, "You agreed earlier. Now you're having second thoughts? You need to clarify this."

Lou Dongzang replied, "It's not that I don't want your involvement. I'm just afraid... I don't know what I'd become after falling for you."

He Guan: "What?"

Lou Dongzang clenched his fingers and closed his eyes tightly, "Just by merely liking you now, I can't... I can't control my thoughts."

"It's much worse than before."

He Guan: "Like what? What thoughts?"

Lou Dongzang: "...I want to hear you cry."

The guitar in He Guan's grip began to slide downward.

He quickly caught it just before it hit the ground, holding it close.

Setting the guitar aside, He Guan's initial shock turned into an urge to laugh.

He awkwardly tried to console him, "Isn't that... rather normal? It's still within the bounds of normalcy."

At least, it should be, right?

He wasn't entirely sure himself.

Lou Dongzang: "But you wouldn't. You wouldn't feel about me the way I do about you, with... those kinds of thoughts."

"You might like me, might want to comfort me, but you wouldn't..."

He generalized some of the darker, ineffable thoughts as "those kinds" of thoughts.

He wanted to push He Guan away, but not too far. He chose words that he hoped He Guan would most likely accept.

It was truly despicable.

He Guan, finding the situation absurd, interrupted him, "Wait, wait!"

"You can't judge yourself based on a comparison with me alone. We're entirely different people; how can you compare like that? Shouldn't you at least aggregate more data?"

"I'm a bit stubborn by nature. Even if I had such thoughts, I wouldn't tell you. And besides, how do you know I haven't had them?"

Lou Dongzang's expression softened slightly, "You've had them? But you..."

But you always seemed so averse to getting close to me.

After some thought, He Guan conceded he might have had some issues but believed they were salvageable. He said, "Sit tight."

He really...

Always gave Lou Dongzang the impression that he was resistant to intimacy.

No one knows He Guan better than himself.

He pressed down on Lou Dongzang's shoulders, straddling him with his knees firmly on the ground.

It's a bit uncomfortable, but bearable.

Lou Dongzang sat steadily, instinctively supporting his waist to prevent any mishaps.

He Guan pondered for a moment, then gently kissed his forehead.

"Why the needless worry? I've... never been in love and lack experience."

"Actually, I quite enjoy being close to you."

"I'm no saint. How could I not have any thoughts when my wife looks so beautiful?"

"Isn't that right, my wife?"

"It's just that... I'm too blunt and straightforward."

"Besides, the imagination in your head... is less risqué than what I watched today."

Seeing Lou Dongzang not letting go, He Guan thought for a moment and said, "Should I settle today's tab first?"

Lou Dongzang, lowering his voice, responded, "What did you watch?"

With a smile, He Guan whispered to him. His breath danced between their lips, quickly fading away, "Guess? Hmm... the title was quite long, and the content diverse... I might have fast-forwarded too quickly... anyway, none of them had a better physique than you."

Lou Dongzang lifted his head, aiming for a kiss.

"Hey, you can't kiss," He Guan said with a laugh, placing a finger on his lips, "Didn't we agree that I'd initiate?"

Lou Dongzang said with restrained eagerness, "Aren't you letting me guess anymore?"

He Guan replied, "No more guessing."

He never intended for Lou Dongzang to guess it correctly; he had forgotten the details himself.

He Guan's kisses were unpredictable.

Their intensity was enigmatic.

One moment deep, the next moment soft, or perhaps even more profound than before.

He Guan lingered by his lips for a while, tentatively seeking deeper intimacy.

He still remembered Lou Dongzang's preferences.

Probing with his tongue.

This uncharted territory was invigorating for He Guan, spontaneous and slightly awkward.

This kiss greatly excited the other party.

He could distinctly feel the hand on his waist gripping him tightly, almost digging into his flesh. Realizing the excessive force, the person hesitantly loosened their grasp.

Afraid of harming him.

He Guan chuckled internally, clamping his teeth together, his sharp canine piercing the other person's lips.

An immediate metallic taste spread between their intertwined mouths.

The soft wound kept bleeding, which He Guan licked away.

He Guan slightly pulled back, laughing softly, "Am I some delicate ice cream? So precious that you can't bear to apply a little force..."

The implied meaning was:

I've bitten you, so what's a little pinch to me?

He found his neck pressed down, and the words he meant to utter were swallowed whole by Lou Dongzang.

Uncle Yue, who had come out to call the two for lunch, hadn’t approached too closely when he noticed their intimate posture. He promptly turned around, heading back to close the kitchen door.

Author's note:

He Guan, digging your own pit and jumping right in (sipping tea).