Chapter 64: Anxiety. You're so skilled.

Seeing Lou Dongzang leaning in for another kiss, He Guan quickly covered his mouth, exclaiming, "Hold on! Let's set some ground rules. Are we going to kiss nonstop and get no work done?"

Lou Dongzang innocently asked, "Does it interfere? Aren't we in a relationship?"

He Guan protested, "It doesn't mean we can just..."

Lou Dongzang probed, "Hmm? What are you thinking?"

While speaking, he moved behind He Guan, embracing him and gesturing him to walk ahead.

He Guan, leading him towards the kitchen, pondered aloud, "We can't keep going on like this..."

Lou Dongzang suggested, "Alright, continue thinking."

He Guan concluded, "Let's leave it for the night. I'll come up with a solution before we sleep."

His tone was akin to discussing work.

Raising an eyebrow, Lou Dongzang let He Guan think while he went to fetch condiment bottles.

As He Guan was about to guide him through the condiments, he noticed Lou Dongzang already identifying them by sniffing their lids.

Handing him an apron, He Guan instructed Lou Dongzang to wear it while he searched the cupboard for noodles.

As the water boiled, noodles required only a couple of minutes to cook. At this juncture, He Guan glanced at Lou Dongzang and observed that several condiments had already been added to his bowl. Currently, he held a bottle of soy sauce, appearing indecisive.

Indecisive about what, though?

These seasonings were sourced directly from Cangdong Garden; Uncle Yue had used them numerous times, and it's inevitable there'd be remnants on the bottles' openings.

After observing Lou Dongzang for a moment, He Gu realized the issue: the residual seasonings on the bottle rims had mixed, confusing Lou Dongzang's ability to discern the individual flavors.

Tasting directly from the bottle wasn't an option either. Without sight, Lou Dongzang couldn't control the pour, invariably spilling it.

He Gu quickly drained the noodles and rinsed them in cold water. During the brief interlude, he approached Lou Dongzang and took the soy sauce bottle from him.

Slightly tilting the bottle, he coated a bit on his finger and instructed, "Open your mouth."

Without any hesitation, He Gu's finger entered Lou Dongzang's mouth. The latter enveloped it with his tongue, savoring the seasoning.

The sensation was warm and incredibly soft, akin to touching a moist, warm creature...

Suppressing his peculiar train of thought, He Gu inquired, "What is this?"

After He Gu withdrew his finger, Lou Dongzang pondered for a moment before admitting, "I don't know."

After washing his hands and draining the noodles, He Gu, laughing, probed, "What could you identify from the smell?"

Lou Dongzang listed, "Vinegar, soy sauce, chili."

Handing over a cloth, He Gu advised, "Wipe the bottle's rim and your hands."

Lou Dongzang acknowledged, "Alright."

He Gu enlightened, "That was dark soy sauce."

Lou Dongzang affirmed, "Got it. Noted."

He Gu fetched the soaked wood ear fungus, stirred it briefly, rinsed the tofu skin, and then started smashing cucumbers.

He assumed Lou Dongzang would continue to sniff the seasonings on his own, without seeking assistance as he did earlier. To his surprise, he was wrong.

Lou Dongzang picked up another bottle, shook it slightly, and inquired, "What's this? An oil? It feels heavy."

While pounding cucumbers with the knife's side, He Gu glanced over, informing, "That's sesame paste."

Lou Dongzang suggested, "Add some of it then."

He Gu directed, "Increase the amount for me, and add some peanut butter too."

Following the instructions, Lou Dongzang searched for other containers, asking, "Why?"

Finishing the last cucumber, He Gu explained as he gathered the cucumber fragments, "Too much sesame paste can taste bitter. Peanut butter counteracts it, making the flavor richer."

Picking up a slightly shorter jar and shaking it, Lou Dongzang inquired, "Is it this one?"

He Gu briefly looked up to confirm, then continued slicing the cucumber, affirming, "Yes."

In addition to the cold noodles, He Guan also made a refreshing salad of black fungus, tofu skin, and cucumber.

He swiftly finished cutting, and almost simultaneously, Lou Dongcang had finished preparing the sauce, handing the bowl to him.

It didn't look particularly appealing.

He couldn't see, so he often misjudged the distance between the bottle's mouth and the bowl, spilling some outside without realizing.

He Guan wiped off the soy sauce that had dripped over the edge of the bowl, gave it a couple of stirs, picked up a little with the tip of his chopsticks, and tasted it.

Surprisingly, it tasted quite good.

He Guan exclaimed with surprise, "This is delicious."

Lou Dongcang: "Seems like I've learned well."

He Guan curiously asked, "How did you learn?"

Lou Dongcang: "I listened to some cooking videos."

He Guan: "Impressive!"

He Guan's compliments were always genuine, never feeling insincere.

He took off his apron, and while mixing the noodles into two bowls, Lou Dongcang stood beside him, leaning against the kitchen counter.

He Guan: "Is there any difference between this kitchen and the other one?"

Lou Dongcang: "It's a bit smaller, but it's easier for me to find things."

He Guan handed both bowls of cold noodles to him, saying, "That's good. Let's go to the new place. We should..."

He originally intended to hook onto the pocket on the front of Lou Dongcang's apron but realized it was worn inside out. He continued, "We should get acquainted with the new place. Hold onto me..."

Lou Dongcang, holding up the two bowls of noodles: "Do I have a third hand?"

He Guan laughed at his own oversight, "What should we do then?"

Lou Dongcang handed one of the bowls to him, saying, "Just don't use the hand closest to me."

He Guan took it as instructed, "Alright..."

Lou Dongcang then reached out and took his hand.

Both had just washed their hands and they were slightly cool from the water. Holding hands, it was He Guan's that warmed up first.

He Guan: "I need to come back for the tofu skin dish..."

Lou Dongcang: "I'll get it."

He Guan glanced at him, puzzled by his sudden eagerness, "You didn't help much over there, why are you so proactive here?"

But even as he asked, he continued leading him out, explaining, "Just now, you were beside the refrigerator, two steps out and you're at the door, beyond which is the dining room..."

Lou Dongcang: "Alright."

They placed the noodles on the table, and He Guan sat down, waiting as Lou Dongcang slowly turned and oriented himself, walking back to the kitchen with precise steps.

He soon returned with the tofu skin salad and managed to locate the wall-mounted chopsticks.

Only when He Guan saw him holding the chopsticks did he realize he had forgotten to fetch his own.

Lou Dongcang took a seat, passed the chopsticks to him, and they both began their meal.

He Guan wanted to mention that the pair Lou Dongcang was using had already been used by him, but seeing him already eating with them, he remained silent.

Throughout the meal, only the sounds of chopsticks and swallowing filled the silence, with no further conversation.

After finishing, He Guan put down his chopsticks and waited for the man opposite him to finish, staring absently at the bowl before him.

The hand he rested on the table was lightly touched at the fingernails.

He Guan flinched slightly but didn't withdraw his hand.

So, the other man traced his fingers forward, overstepping a bit, covering his hand and laughing as he asked, "Did I go too far? Ever since I gave you... up until now, you've seemed uneasy."

He Guan flipped his hand over and playfully scratched the other's palm without responding.

His silence was acknowledgment.

He truly did feel uneasy, a fact he couldn't deny.

Seeing that He Guan didn't want to discuss it, Lou Dongcang switched to the earlier topic he hadn't responded to, "I didn't help out back there because... I'd probably make things worse for Uncle."

He Guan: "Mm."

Lou Dongcang: "But living with you is different."

He Guan, propping his chin and looking at him, replied with a languid tone, "How is it different? Do I talk more than Uncle Yue, helping you identify seasonings?"

Lou Dongcang: "It feels like in this house, it's just you and me. My entire focus is on you, and that makes me very happy."

He Guan felt a gentle grip around his fingers.

The gesture was somewhat unusual.

With He Guan's palm facing up and Lou Dongcang's palm facing down, they sat opposite each other, their fingers intertwining, clenching tightly like oddly meshing gears that needed both sides to exert force to fully engage.

He Guan slowly closed his fingers, admitting, "Indeed... I feel a bit uneasy."

This unease wasn't about He Guan wanting to avoid the situation or run away.

It was only when he started living here with Lou Dongcang that he realized that suddenly, everything around him bore the shadow of his partner. While living with Uncle Yue, he hadn't felt this way...

This cohabitation felt... unexpectedly intimate to him.

Every sound in the home stemmed from that one person.

The sound of breathing, footsteps, pulling out a chair, picking up chopsticks, eating, and chatting.

It felt as though their relationship had suddenly moved to a different level.

The intimacy made him uneasy, like a boy experiencing his first love, restless and unsure of how to react, feeling out of place all over.

And Lou Dongcang had become even more bold.

His sudden gestures could startle He Guan slightly, though he never showed it.

A sudden kiss might come from nowhere, or an unexpected embrace, making him both nervous and shy.

How did it come to this?

He Guan was puzzled, and there was no one he could ask for guidance.

He didn’t know how others navigated their romantic relationships, but he genuinely liked Lou Dongcang. His feelings were not of resistance but of sheer nervousness.

He always wondered how Lou Dongcang would react if he didn’t respond correctly.

Would he laugh it off, teasingly calling him by his nickname, or would he playfully punish him with a kiss?

Just the thought made He Guan feel like his head was about to explode.

He sensed that Lou Dongcang might do something even more "outrageous".

Though it was both their first relationship, Lou Dongcang always seemed to be in control, while He Guan constantly felt on the back foot.

This had already surpassed what he felt equipped to handle. The situation seemed out of control, filled with uncertainties.

He belatedly realized how quickly their intimacy had escalated and that it had reached a level he currently couldn’t cope with.

When he felt nervous, his palms would involuntarily heat up.

Lou Dongcang, holding his fingers, noticed and asked, "Guan Guan, what are you thinking about? Can't you share it with me?"

Just sitting face-to-face with him was already pushing He Guan's limits. Today's level of intimacy was overwhelming, and he didn’t have the capacity to engage further.

If they continued, He Guan imagined he might...

Just go along with whatever he says.

The feeling was peculiar and unique, like being led by the nose. But Lou Dongcang clearly had no such intentions - this much He Guan could discern.

In any case, while it wasn’t terrible, the experience wasn't particularly pleasant for He Guan...

He Guan was reluctant to elaborate further.

He let go of Lou Dongcang's hand, stood up, and quickly cleared the dishes, moving much faster than usual, and dashed into the kitchen.

This time, Lou Dongcang didn't follow.

After putting the dishes away, He Guan emerged and not seeing Lou Dongcang, he called out, "Lou Dongcang, where are you?"

Lou Dongcang replied, "In one of the rooms, not sure which. Do you want to come?"

He Guan: "Yes."

Guided by the sound, He Guan turned on the light and found Lou Dongcang lying still on the bed in the master bedroom.

He Guan asked, "Why are you off to bed so early, especially right after dinner?"

With his eyes closed and covered by the blanket, Lou Dongcang calmly said, "I've brushed my teeth; it's okay."

He Guan: "That's not what I meant... Why..."

Lou Dongcang opened his eyes, "I just felt that today could end here."

He Guan: "What do you mean?"

Lou Dongcang: "You didn't engage in a real conversation with me, and my entire day felt purposeless. I'll wake up when you're in the mood to talk."

He Guan, standing two steps away, asked, "What if I'm like this tomorrow?"

Lou Dongcang: "Then I'll wake up the day after."

He Guan: "What about meals?"

Lou Dongcang: "It depends if my beloved feels merciful enough to wake me up and grant me a meal, so I don't starve."

He Guan couldn't help but chuckle at his jest.

Once He Guan's laughter subsided, Lou Dongcang asked, "What happened after dinner? Can you tell me?"

He Guan sat down beside Lou Dongcang, trying to ease his tension, with his back to him, and admitted, "I just... felt unexpectedly uneasy."

Without moving, Lou Dongcang simply made an inquiring sound, "Hmm?"

His stillness, devoid of any intent to approach, helped He Guan relax significantly.

After pondering for a while, He Guan finally voiced his question.

"How do you..."

"How are you so..."

After speaking, he changed his tone, shifting from a question to an affirmation, and spoke again.

"You're so adept."

A question mark seemed to pop up over Lou Dongcang's head in a cautious manner.

A note from the author:

The snake pondered, "Should I... be pleased?"