Chapter Six

The night wind rustled between Su Yan and Xia Tingwan, and they looked at each other in silence for a long time.

Xia Tingwan's breathing gradually recovered, he stood up and looked at Su Yan, and at that moment, he also felt sadness.

What did they do to each other in this marriage?

Five years ago, he was willful and arrogant, but he had not committed such a heinous crime; Su Yan was gentle, but principled, and he was the coolest man in his eyes.

But five years later, they were completely different.

They became worse, less happy people.

"Su Yan, can you tell me what exactly did you help me with...?" Xia Tingwan took a deep breath: "You won't bribe the police, will you?"

Su Yan rubbed his temples with his hand. He didn't seem to want to recall that incident. After hesitating for a while, he said slowly: "There is no doubt about your drunk driving. Yin Ning and his mother were involved in running red lights, and neither did I was seriously injured, so I haven't been charged with a criminal traffic accident. After you passed out that night, Yin Ning's mother immediately agreed to mediate with me privately - I paid far more than the normal civil compensation. You have to pay the main responsibility, because you are a first-time offender, your alcohol content is not enough to drive drunk, and then you have a letter of understanding, so your driver's license was revoked for six months, and no criminal detention was imposed."

"On the media side, there were two who were the first to come to the scene to know about the situation, and I paid them to not report it."

When he said this, he paused with a painful expression, and said in a low voice, "If you ask me, did I use the power of the Su family to keep you from being punished, I didn't. But you are a star, and everyone who is present knows. Individuals, reporters, police officers, Yin Ning's mother, I paid them all - they knew who I was, they charged me, so they would definitely not speak."

Xia Tingwan covered her mouth, but still let out a low moan like a struggle.

"So I think, it means morally we're all guilty."

Su Yan's expression was very calm, he pursed his lips, and those narrow and deep eyes looked at Xia Tingwan: "I have already thought about it, before Yin Ning's mother quits drug addiction, I will take care of Yin Ning in the form of a guardian. Ning, this is the only way I can make up for it."

"You are wrong, Su Yan."

Xia Ting shook his head late, his eyes were bloodshot, stared at Su Yan, and said in a hoarse voice: "It's all wrong, and it's not something you and I can make up for, your money can't-can't make up for him. What he lost cannot make up for what he suffered in vain."

"If someone takes responsibility for all this, it's not you, it's me."

Xia Tingwan's fingers trembled, and she nodded to her chest: "It's me, Su Yan. I'm the one who should use his life to atone for his sins and guilt, and I'm the one who should take care of Yin Ning— You can't do this for me."

"Xia Ting Wan."

Su Yan frowned, he wanted to speak, but was directly interrupted by Xia Tingwan.

"I'll come back and talk to you about it again, when my side is ready."

Xia Tingwan took two steps back. After saying this, she turned around to open Zhao Nanshu's car door and got in.

In the place where Su Yan could not see, Xia Tingwan finally couldn't hold back any longer. He didn't even care to look at Zhao Nanshu, he just fell down and burst into tears.

He has never cried like this since he was an adult.

For the first time in his life, he felt an unprecedented heaviness.

Being abused and abandoned, although it is dark and helpless, it is not heavy, because in the first half of his life, he was always convinced that he was a victim.

He always indulged himself, indulged in his frivolity, exaggeration, irresponsibility and willfulness.

It was only now that he finally understood one thing piercingly, that he was not, he was not long ago.

He is the perpetrator.

Not only did he hurt innocent people, he hurt an unfortunate 11-year-old child.

He also hurt Su Yan, and he slaughtered their marriage with his own hands.

He is the murderer.

From now on, he will pay for it all his life.

——

Xia Ting had a dream that night, but when you think about it, it doesn't seem like a dream.

Because every detail and picture were exactly the same as in his memory, he was addicted to it in a daze, unwilling to wake up.

It was the evening of the early spring festival. He and Su Yan walked side by side in the large amusement park in H City, but they didn't talk much to each other.

The air was filled with the sweet smell of popcorn. Couples of couples passed by in the amusement park, so he and Su Yan seemed out of tune. At that time, he was not in the mood for a date.

"I want to sit here."

Wearing a peaked cap, he kicked the rocks under his feet, then looked up at the pirate ship overhead.

"This?" Su Yan seemed a little surprised.

More than ten years ago, the pirate ship was the most popular item in the amusement park in H city. After other children went to ride every now and then, when they came back with photos and talked with their classmates excitedly, Xia Ting was hiding in the distance and eavesdropping. , Because of envy, it is deeply remembered in my heart.

Since then, his dream has been to come to the amusement park and get on a pirate ship a dozen times.

But by the time he grew up and finally had the money for such luxury, the pirate ship was already an outdated project.

People who come to the amusement park have more cool things, VR shooting, driving Transformers, the gate of underwater drifting is full of long queues, only the pirate ship is uninterested here.

He and Su Yan stood under the boat painted with exaggerated pirate cartoons, the dust was covered with red spray paint, and the bright faded appearance was even more cruel.

"You go, I'll wait for you below. I don't like playing with that."

Su Yan shook his head.

Su Yan was wearing a spotless blue shirt and a gray suit that day.

vest

, it really doesn't look like someone who can ride a pirate ship.

He looked at Su Yan, but suddenly said, "I want you to accompany me."

When he said that, although it sounded like a coquettish tone, he looked at Su Yan with a provocative expression: "Can't you? Since you have proposed marriage, can't you do such a request."

Su Yan didn't speak anymore, his expression was a little helpless, and finally he walked to the ticket booth of the pirate ship first.

"Sorry," the conductor seemed a little surprised, and glanced at the empty queue: "It takes twenty people to start the boat, and I'm afraid you won't be able to wait today."

"Just the two of us," Su Yan said succinctly, "Twenty tickets, let's go."

When he finally sat on the coveted red seat, he was not happy.

"Money is really omnipotent" He turned to look at Su Yan, of course he wasn't talking about tickets, the arc of the corner of his mouth was cold: "Everything has a price, you can buy anything, right? ?"

Su Yan's eyes looked at him calmly: "Tingting, don't do this."

Su Yan seemed to be coaxing a disobedient cat. He bit his lip sadly and stopped talking.

When the pirate ship started, there was an old and harsh noise. He and Su Yan sat on the stern and gradually rose. The rising process was very slow. He raised his head, and the twilight gradually enveloped H City.

Sunset ... orange, red, purple sunset, and finally slowly entangled into a dark blue in the endless sky.

He followed the wind and drove into the sunset.

When I reached the top, I suddenly felt that I was very light and light, like a bird, ready to fly away at any time.

But soon he fell again, ah, it turned out that he still couldn't fly, and at that moment, felt so lost.

He still couldn't help holding Su Yan's hand and whispered, "Su Yan, I don't want to get married."

Perhaps the wind was too strong, Su Yan did not answer.

————

As soon as he got off the pirate ship, Su Yan took two steps, suddenly pressed his shoulders, and said in a hurried voice, "I want to sit down."

So they found a secluded resting pavilion in the corner of the amusement park. After Su Yan sat down, he saw that Su Yan's face was much paler than before, and there were several drops of cold sweat on his forehead.

He could not help leaning down worriedly: "Su Yan, what's wrong with you?"

"I'm not very capable," Su Yan said, gasping for breath, "I'm not very adaptable to this feeling of being high in the sky and going down, it's okay - I'll just sit down for a while."

The sunset has gradually merged with the night. The corner they are in is just carrying the lights behind their backs. The dim tones have a lonely atmosphere, and there are lively voices in the distance.

He looked down at Su Yan in the dark at that time, and he always remembered the strange feeling at that moment.

Su Yan is half a head taller than him, always so straight and elegant.

He had never seen Su Yan from such a downward angle before.

Su Yan's eyelashes are very long, hanging down to cover the eyelids.

Perhaps because of his physical discomfort, his chest was gently heaving, and his pale face made this man who was scheming and always graceful, showing unprecedented weakness in the ambiguous night at that time.

Sweat dripped slowly from the ditch on Su Yan's chin.

Su Yan, who had never met before, such a fragile Su Yan, he wanted to hug him, but he wanted to hurt him again.

At that moment, he suddenly had a strong desire for Su Yan.

He leaned down, lifted Su Yan's chin roughly, and kissed it.

He doesn't have much experience, and his kissing skills can be said to be clumsy. Su Yan couldn't help but push him in pain.

But he didn't give up at all, he pressed Su Yan's shoulders heavily, rode on Su Yan's body like a little wolf dog and bit Su Yan's lips, biting Su Yan so much that a trace of water in his eyes could not help. fog.

He wondered if all young men felt like him the first time they felt lust, when a certain part of their body would suddenly and violently hurt.

He had a kind of anger, and he couldn't tell. Su Yan decided his life-long event with his parents too for granted. Of course he was angry, but at this moment, he suddenly wanted to fuck Su Yan.

Although he is a 0, the style of this sentence does not need to be changed.

This longing gave him a kind of physical outburst and anger.

"Let's go to the house."

He couldn't kiss and lick Su Yan in a proper way, and pulled out the hem of Su Yan's shirt embarrassedly, but felt embarrassed to touch it, he held up Su Yan's face and said seriously, "I want to do it with you. "

Su Yan was of course surprised. He stretched out his fingers and stroked his bitten, bleeding lips, but his eyes soon became intensely lustful.

"Walk."

Su Yan stood up, hugged him, and strode out of the amusement park.

——

Xia Tingwan remembered that he felt very exciting along the way.

He was just twenty years old that year, and he had never had such close contact with anyone.

When I said "I want to do it with you", I even felt a little bit amazing, like I grew up a little bit in a sense.

They trotted into Su Yan's Maybach, and Su Yan said to the driver, "Go to Wenhua, hurry up."

He fell on the back seat and couldn't help but want to laugh, because Su Yan said those words with a rare urgency.

The two of them could barely maintain their normal state in the hotel lobby and elevator, but once they got to Su Yan's suite, they couldn't stop.

He couldn't wait to push Su Yan against the wall. Although he was very imposing, he still had to raise his head to kiss Su Yan because of his height.

This time Su Yan didn't let him be at his mercy, but directly pinched his chin, like teaching a puppy who wanted to get close but couldn't control his senses, his eyes were terrifyingly deep: "Don't bite me again, little one. Rookie."

He was instantly annoyed and felt extremely humiliated to be given this name.

Su Yan grabbed his waist and threw him on the bed. The metal cigarette case and lighter in his trouser pocket fell to the ground.

Su Yan glanced at it, took out a Marlboro from the cigarette case, lowered his head and lit the cigarette neatly, then pressed it on top of him with the cigarette in his mouth.

He never knew Su Yan could smoke before.

"Open your mouth." Su Yan's light gray eyes narrowed, like a cunning wolf.

He can only listen.

Su Yan smiled. He clamped the cigarette between the index and middle fingers of his right hand, raised his head and took a deep breath, then pulled open the collar of his shirt, revealing his collarbone and lean chest muscles.

He was a little dumbfounded, it was a Su Yan he had never seen before.

Su Yan pressed his head and kissed him, pressing his tongue against his tongue, intruding into him step by step, possessing him, licking and biting his tongue and gums roughly.

And the taste of nicotine he was familiar with had never been so explosive and wild, bombarding his mouth like a cannonball, so strong that it suffocated him.

"Have you learned?" Su Yan asked in a hoarse voice.

"I-I can't." He couldn't help choking, and looked at Su Yan with wet eyes, unable to utter a complete sentence.

"Come on then." Su Yan lowered his head before he could finish speaking.

He struggled, but was still kissed so much that he cried out.

The only person he kissed before Su Yan was Xing Le, but that was like an experimental behavior.

They tentatively touched their lips, placed their hands well, and looked at each other with their eyes open. He even had time to sigh with emotion, Xing Le was really handsome and upright.

But this time was different. It wasn't until he got to this point with Su Yan that he realized that there is no such thing as being upright and disciplined in bed. If you think the other person is upright, it must not be enough to fuck him.

"Do you dare to go wild with me? Little thing?" Su Yan asked him, holding his face.

"Don't dare... Su Yan," he wrapped his arms around Su Yan's neck and changed his name to beg for mercy, "Sir, I don't dare."

Su Yan hadn't even touched his butt, but he felt that he had been fucked hard.

Su Yan heard him scream, his brow furrowed fiercely because of desire, and his T-shirt was lifted from the bottom up.

The moment his skin was suddenly exposed to the light, he suddenly woke up as if a basin of cold water had been poured.

He remembered the rough scars on his body and legs, the skin that Su Yan touched was repeatedly burnt by cigarette butts, leaving an ugly ruin now.

He felt like he had been hit hard with a whip on his spine, and he felt a spasm in his stomach.

The lust faded like the tide, and instead of taking him into the tender depths, he left him naked and terrified on the shore.

He pushed Su Yan away, pulled back his clothes, and then turned around and lay beside the bed, unable to help retching.

"Courtyard?"

"Don't, don't touch... Don't look, don't look at me." He collapsed and curled his body into a ball, closed his eyes tightly and murmured: "It's too ugly, you are not allowed to look."

"Tingting, I understand."

Su Yan hugged him from behind and sighed deeply, "I understood from the first time I watched "Whale Talk". You are not playing Xiao Xia, I know you are Xiao Xia."

"I...have a lot of injuries, a lot of injuries. I don't want to do it, I don't want to show you. I don't want to do it, Su Yan..."

He squeezed a sentence out of his teeth, he didn't want to hide Su Yan, he just couldn't bear it.

A second ago, he was still lustful, but this second he suddenly woke up in a cold sweat.

The dreadful childhood has passed, but the obscurity has always remained with him.

He seemed to be caught in a chain of nightmares, and when he thought there was still a glimmer of life in his life, he kept falling into the same deep well of despair.

He is not a normal person.

He couldn't even accept the caress of lust.

"Then don't do it."

Su Yan rested his chin on his head and rubbed it comfortingly, like a big bear hugging a little bear cub, and gently framing his eyebrows with his fingers, after a long time, he said softly, "Tingting, you You know, you're the most beautiful scenery in the world that I've ever seen."

He always remembered the words Su Yan used, he said he was "the most beautiful scenery".

It was a strange word, and even he, who was immersed in grief at that time, couldn't help turning his head and opened his eyes: "Why is it a landscape, not a person?"

"Because before, I always felt that human beings are not the most beautiful thing in this world."

Su Yan said seriously and slowly: "Human beings are very complex, sometimes they want too many things, and their posture becomes false, I don't like it.

"When I was young, I went to university in Europe. One autumn, I stood under a tree and watched the fallen leaves fall. I felt so charming. I kept struggling and flying in the wind. Why do I crave the taste of the wind? I will think that way when I live. Later, I saw a collection of essays, saying that the wind in autumn is the wind that blows from previous years—suddenly I was very moved, and I was so persistent because I couldn’t bear the memories of previous years. I think it's beautiful, and I can't help but stand and look at it for a long time. I've had sex with a lot of people, but I never feel moved."

"Then... Then am I really more beautiful than autumn leaves?"

He turned his head to look at Su Yan and asked in a trance.

"In my eyes, you are more beautiful than the autumn leaves, the cicadas in summer, and the moonlight in the snowy night."

Su Yan lowered his head, kissed his earlobe, and said in a low voice: "Have you ever held snow in winter, it will melt and slip through your fingers. But that won't make people sad, in life Some beauties are destined to let them go, without grief or pity, because as long as you know that they have existed in this world, you will feel very satisfied. But you are different, I can't let you go, can't be like Letting you go like melting snow, I want you so much——Tingting."

Until now, he could almost memorize Su Yan's words word for word.

Those were the most romantic words he had ever heard since he was a child.

"Su Yan, pamper me a little more, okay?"

Su Yan's words made him finally put down all his hard armor. He couldn't care about face anymore. He turned his head and got into Su Yan's arms like a small animal, begging: "I really don't want to get married, I'm afraid,My parents... They are too bad, marriage is a cage, they are locked together to kill each other. I am really afraid, Su Yan, let's date, in fact, it is no different from marriage, please, okay?"

"I'm sorry." Su Yan hugged him tightly, and he apologized again: "I didn't mention marriage, it was your mother who mentioned it to me, and 30 million to save your stepfather's business. But I'm not buyingYou, you know it in your heart, Tingting, I just can't stand you staying in that house anymore, I can't stand it."

"So, I'm sorry Tingting, no, there's only this thing-forgive me. I'll make up for you with my whole life."