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Chapter nine
Chapter nine
Everyone's life may be a diary full of secrets.
But for Xia Tingwan, during his time with Su Yan, he did not hide it.
He has a lot of unbearable, fragile, and sometimes unflattering temperaments, but he is still like a kitten lying on its back with its belly spread out, exposing his wounds, yearning for Su Yan's caress and protection.
He was never defensive in front of Su Yan.
After seeing Su Jin's diary, he felt very sad for a long time.
It was a very complicated emotion, and of course he regretted it, for Su Yan and Su Jin.
Su Jin was 11 when she committed suicide.
An 11-year-old boy may not know the meaning of death, but he just feels that life is so painful and painful, so he wants to go elsewhere.
He has never had such an idea, and suddenly the idea of wanting to leave will come into his mind - when walking across a high bridge with a schoolbag on his back, he can't help but look at the traffic below for a long time; imagine fairy tales at night In the scene, he flew away lightly on a broom and went to a far place.
But he still survived in the end. Whether he is strong or weak, he can't even judge himself.
In the year of "Whale Talk", Xu Zhe told him that he is flexible and aura, and it seems that he is fragile and will be destroyed at any time, but in his heart, in his eyes, there is an endless desire for a better life. yearning and longing.
Xia Tingwan knew that Su Jin's suicide must have brought too much pain to Su Yan.
Su Yan was not the direct victim of the sin, but he witnessed the ending of the sin and the broken family. He was also seriously injured by the sin in another form. Perhaps until now, he has not been able to recover from that incident.
Humans are fragile creatures, and the wounds left in childhood never heal.
Just like cutting the trunk of a small tree, as the rings grow thicker and bigger, the marks will still remain there.
The tree is like this, how can people be worthy of it. The pain left in the bones and in the blood, even if it grows up, will always run over life again and again.
After five years of marriage, Su Yan, who was suffering the same pain all the time, chose not to say a word to him.
This was the saddest thing for him after the car accident.
He wanted to apologize to Su Yan countless times. He shouldn't have said those words. He was not considerate enough. He didn't feel sorry for Su Yan.
Of course he wanted to apologize, but every time he wanted to speak, he eventually lost his voice.
Su Yan never told him.
Su Yan's diary was locked in front of him.
He is obviously Su Yan's favorite person, but Su Yan does not share the weakness and embarrassment in his life with him.
Is this really what love should be like?
He was always troubled by these problems, and sometimes felt that it was because of his willful immaturity that Su Yan couldn't relax and expose his vulnerability.
In the middle of the night, he looked at Su Yan's sleeping appearance many times, imagined Su Yan's childhood, whether it was also so unhappy, and imagined how Su Yan, who was less than 20 years old, lived through it after his younger brother committed suicide and died. For a while, he thought about it so much that his chest hurt, and then he turned angry again.
Shouldn't love be that simple?
I show you the pain points of my past injuries, you help me lick the wounds gently, and seeing each other's fragility can give birth to pity, and finally become love.
The world is so cruel to us, why can't we snuggle together.
In such tossing and turning, he ended up wasting the last six months waiting for the end.
After being separated from Su Yan on a rainy day, Xia Ting took Zhao Nanshu's car home in the evening. He seemed to have grown up overnight, and he did not cry in despair at home.
He quietly sorted out Su Yan's letters that were scattered around the room during this time.
That's a full 138 letters.
He piled these 138 letters into stacks, carefully put them in the big box, and put them in the bookcase.
When opened the bookcase, suddenly saw the wedding ring that had carefully collected before.
He stood there for a long time, still involuntarily, he put the clear jade ring on the ring finger of his left hand with some trembling.
For some reason, Xia Tingwan's face suddenly turned a little red. If it was the first time she wore it, she would have looked happy and satisfied, but at this time, she felt a little ashamed.
But he still didn't take it off.
At a moment when no one can see it, he should still be able to retain a little power and quietly take this ring to sleep.
——
In the next few days, Xia Tingwan forced himself to stop thinking about Su Yan, so he concentrated on dealing with financial problems. He tried to call Zhang Xueqiao to mention the sale of the property, but as expected, Zhang Xueqiao refused directly and suffered A loud scolding.
After Zhang Xueqiao finished scolding, as if he had seized the opportunity, he suddenly persuaded him to ask Su Yan for lack of money.
With such a mother, Xia Tingwan doesn't feel miserable anymore, but just hung up the phone embarrassedly.
Xia Tingwan and Zhao Nanshu were working together, and it seemed that if they wanted to buy a suitable house, they could only get together.
The Lamborghini that had a car accident before was hit badly in front, and the insurance company didn't pay for the drunk driving accident, so I had to spend a lot of money to repair it. Find a way to change hands with Zhao Nanshu.
The driver's license was revoked for six months. After thinking about it, Xia Tingwan thought that she might not be able to drive a sports car anymore, so she simply sold the silver SLK that was idle before.
In this way, plus some scattered funds, he finally collected enough money to buy a valuable finished house in Tianlan Pavilion, a high-end community just developed near Zhao Nanshu's house.
Although this is not comparable to the villa he originally envisioned, Tianlan Pavilion is clean and beautiful, with strict security and complete facilities, with a swimming pool, a rooftop court, and an amusement park for children to play. It is really a good place to live. .
As soon as he and Zhao Nanshu went to see the house once, they were not satisfied. Xia Tingwan had not paid attention to real estate-related matters before. This time, it was the first time that he bought a house for himself, and he paid special attention to it. He found that Tianlan Pavilion was actually It was developed by the Hengtai Group of the Su family, and I couldn't help but feel that the world was really small, and I didn't know if Su Yan had planned Tianlan Pavilion in person.
Because it is a finished house, it doesn't take much time to decorate it, and it is expected to be able to move in in just over a month.
Xia Ting asked Zhao Nanshu to find a home furnishing designer in the evening, and specifically instructed that there were children who wanted to live there.
On the day after the payment for the house, he was walking with Zhao Nanshu on the road, Xia Tingwan felt panic because of money for the first time.
He became famous as soon as he was an adult, and soon married Su Yan. After that, it was like living in a distorted utopia. It was not that he did not know what it was like to be short of money, but he could hardly feel the existence of money.
Only now did I plan to make plans for my life and economy, and I also began to think about a young child. After spending a lot of money, he looked at the number that Cary became embarrassed, and then realized that kind of It feels uneasy to walk without money.
"Nanshu, don't you think I'm too naive too," Xia Ting said annoyed as he looked at the passers-by who passed by him, breathing the real air of this world unfamiliarly. : "I really didn't think about money before. It turned out that when I used it, it felt like running water, and it was gone as soon as I spent it. I was really empty in my heart. I didn't understand this feeling until I was 25 years old. , isn't it weird?"
"It's alright." Zhao Nanshu shrugged: "Didn't they say that there is pressure to be motivated? Actually, men of our age are usually under a lot of pressure, such as car loans and mortgages. , in a few years, most people will still have the pressure of raising a baby. You can only change this thing if you feel it. In fact, being a big star is already separated from reality. What's more, you are not only a star, but also very I'm about to marry Mr. Su. Needless to say, Mr. Su has protected you so much that he is reluctant to let you have the pressure of work. You have neither lack of money nor a sense of crisis of survival, you can feel it. what?"
Zhao Nanshu said and walked quickly to the underground parking lot to open the car door and motioned to get in the car: "Also, you had to take the initiative to sign that prenuptial agreement back then, it would be really stupid for me to tell the truth, if you are now you , will you still mention it? In fact, when it comes to this, I still find it strange that Mr. Su is really willing to let you go out of the house? This is not at all like his character. "
Xia Ting put on his seat belt in the evening, and Zhao Nanshu suddenly mentioned that Su Yan made him feel a little sad, and he whispered: "At that time, my family took 30 million Su Yan in one go, and I felt like I was selling myself. I just proposed to save face, but I never thought about divorce him. But now that I think about it, that's pretty good. I didn't help him in the first place, and it really cost him a lot in the past five years. Money, I was embarrassed to share any property with him, and he doesn't owe me anything."
Zhao Nanshu turned his head, pursed his lips and stared at Xia Tingwan for a while, his expression was a little serious at first, but after a while he couldn't help but smiled helplessly: "If I were a rich man, I would like you too. Innocent baby - it's okay, we don't take his money, we earn it ourselves."
Zhao Nanshu said and started the car, and slowly drove in the direction of Xiangshan.
Xia Tingwan had greeted Su Yan before and said that she would go to Xiangshan to visit Yin Ning at night. After arriving at Su's house, it was Wen Zichen who answered the door.
Wen Zichen was wearing a simple white T-shirt. He was not surprised by Xia Tingwan's visit. After opening the door, he said hello with a smile: "Mr. Xia, you are so early. Brother Yan is still working upstairs."
"Hello." Xia Tingwan spit out two words bluntly.
When Xia Tingwan saw Wen Zichen this time, her mood was very different from the previous two times.
Before, he was not sure what the relationship between Wen Zichen and Su Yan had reached. Although there were scandals and his own speculation, it was not conclusive after all, but after Su Yan told him that they had had a relationship, when he saw Wen Zichen again, His chest suddenly became tight.
Unable to restrain his gaze, he carefully looked at Wen Zichen's face inch by inch.
Wen Zichen is not a handsome man.
It's just that the eyebrows and eyes are flat, and there is a tear mole on the right corner of the eye.
A completely different type from him.
While he was looking at Wen Zichen, Wen Zichen's eyes swept over him, and finally his eyes stayed on the narrow scar on the right side of his face very delicately.
Xia Tingwan's heart suddenly trembled, his eyes flickered, and he involuntarily turned his face away, trying to cover up the scar with a shadow.
In just a moment, he suddenly felt that he had lost.
Although it was a completely meaningless contest, the expression on his face could not be concealed.
He is no longer the little peacock who was so beautiful and proud that Su Yan stayed for him.
Wen Zichen looked at his expression, smiled meaningfully, turned to his side and said politely, "Please come in, Mr. Xia."
——
Wen Zichen looked at his expression, smiled meaningfully, turned to his side and said politely, "Please come in, Mr. Xia."
Xia Ting walked in and sat on the sofa first, Wen Zichen politely poured him a cup of passion fruit tea and said, "I heard Brother Yan said that Mr. Xia intends to take Ning Ning back to take care of himself, right? ?"
"Yeah." Xia Tingwan had an indescribable resistance to Wen Zichen, so she didn't want to force herself to talk more.
"Actually, Mr. Xia, I know you're not familiar with me, but I still want to say something about Ning Ning."
Wen Zichen went around to sit down opposite Xia Tingwan, and continued gently: "Ning Ning is very good to live here with Brother Yan, whether it is quality of life, education, or other aspects, of course out of guilt and responsibility. , I can fully understand your thoughts, Mr. Xia, but you really don't have to force yourself."
Xia Tingwan held the teacup and looked at Wen Zichen, with a trace of astonishment in his eyes, he was silent for a while, and finally said coldly, "I didn't force it."
Although he doesn't know if he is a good actor, he does have the characteristics of a good actor-a keen sense of the atmosphere between people and the instinctive sense of emotional flow.
He didn't like Wen Zichen, not from the first time they met.
Wen Zichen was deliberate. Although it was packaged in a seemingly gentle and polite manner and speech, Xia Tingwan could still feel that in this person's heart, he wanted to completely occupy the position beside Su Yan, and he was eager to become another part of the house. The ambition of a master.
Xia Tingwan was not a smooth person. If it was before, he might have said "what's your business?", but now he feels an invisible restraint.
At this time, Zhao Nanshu took the gift he bought for Yin Ning from the trunk of the car and followed him. Coincidentally, Su Yan also took Yin Ning's hand and walked down the stairs.
"Hi, Mr. Su." Zhao Nanshu raised his head and said hello.
"You're here." Su Yan nodded.
"Long time no see," Zhao Nanshu smiled heartily, raised his left hand, revealing the blue and white Antoinette packaging bag: "Ting Wan went to the old place to buy some desserts for the children, and also brought you a lava cake to eat. order?"
Su Yan walked down the stairs and was stunned when he heard Zhao Nanshu say this, his eyes took a deep look at Xia Tingwan.
Xia Tingwan's face couldn't help turning red. He never told Zhao Nanshu when he bought it, but Zhao Nanshu knew what he picked.
Strange to say, a calm and mature man like Su Yan is actually the most addicted to sweets.
Su Yan likes chocolate, cake, ice cream and other things that children like to eat.
Xia Tingwan tasted Antoinette's cake once when he was filming. Although he didn't like sweets, he felt the taste was extraordinary, so he brought blueberry cheese and volcanic lava cake to Su Yan.
He still remembered what Su Yan looked like when he ate the cake. The cuffs of his shirt were pulled up to reveal his slender wrists. He narrowed his long and narrow eyes slightly.
"Brother Yan," Wen Zichen looked up at Su Yan, his voice was very gentle: "it's evening, let's eat less sweets."
"What's wrong?" Zhao Nanshu put the packaging bag on the table carelessly, and glanced at Su Yan: "Mr. Su, have you gained weight?"
Perhaps Zhao Nanshu's attitude was too natural, even Su Yan couldn't help but smile slightly, he shook his head, "No."
With that, Su Yan let go of Yin Ning's hand, lowered his head and said, "Ning Ning, brother Ting Wan I just told you is coming to see you, can you talk to him?"
Yin Ning was thin and small. He listened to Su Yan's words and did not speak, but stood in the center of the hall with his hands behind his back and his head bowed.
Xia Ting stood up late, walked to Yin Ning and slowly squatted down.
It was the first time he had approached Yin Ning so closely.
This is a very good-looking little boy, with beautiful eyebrows and fair skin, but the left eyelid that was hit by the car accident is still a little droopy.
Yin Ning's big dark eyes quickly looked at his face, and then he quickly lowered his eyes and looked at the ground, still pursing his lips and saying nothing.
In those eyes, there is vigilance, anxiety, confusion, and a trace of stubbornness like a small animal.
Xia Tingwan's nose is sore, he is too familiar with such eyes.
He was also a wounded child, he understood—
He gently stroked Yin Ning's cheek, because he didn't want to irritate Yin Ning, his fingers deliberately avoided the scar on the eyelid.
"Ningning,"
As soon as Xia Tingwan spoke, she felt her voice tremble violently: "I'm sorry."
"sorry Sorry……"
Xia Tingwan knew that she should calm down a bit, but she couldn't utter any other words besides these three words in her throat.
sorry.
He seemed to see the scarred self hiding in the corner, saw Su Jin being tortured to the point of dying, and then—little Yin Ning was lying on the scene of the car accident with blood on his face.
Why.
Why are they beaten, abused, and abandoned by adults? Why are other children being loved and protected, but they have done nothing wrong, but they have not been treated kindly by the world.
Why, he finally turned into the most annoying adult, to wantonly hurt another innocent and innocent child. Could it be that Xia Zhongyu's disgusting sinful blood is really flowing in his body?
"Ting Wan," there seemed to be a vague call in his ear, but it was not very real until the second voice: "Xia Ting Wan!"
He was pulled up suddenly, and only after standing up straight did he realize that it was Su Yan.
"stay strong."
Su Yan pressed Xia Tingwan's shoulder and repeated: "You told me to take care of Yin Ning, do you understand the meaning of this?"
Xia Tingwan was a little dazed, and subconsciously raised her head to look at Su Yan.
Su Yan's expression was stern: "If you want to take care of a wounded child, you have to be firm and strong - you have to clean up your guilt and stop drowning in the past - tell me, you Can it be done?"
Xia Tingwan trembled: "Can..."
His voice was weak, but when he looked at Su Yan, he nodded vigorously and repeated, "I can."
After Su Yan heard him say that, his expression gradually softened, and after letting go, he stepped back and sat on the sofa.
Xia Tingwan took a deep breath before finally forcing herself to calm down slowly.
Zhao Nanshu didn't know when he had come over and stood beside him, reached out and handed over his teacup, and then patted his shoulder.
Xia Ting drank a sip of passion fruit tea in the evening, and after he recovered, he said softly to Yin Ning, "Ning Ning, when my house is cleaned up, I will come to pick you up and live there, okay? What kind of room does Ning Ning like? Huh? Like pets?"
Yin Ning obviously heard it.
But he neither looked at Xia Tingwan nor answered, just stood there with his head lowered, stubbornly showing a thin white back of his neck.
Xia Tingwan's heart suddenly burst into a complex emotion of pity, guilt, and the feeling of wanting to make up for it——
He looked at Yin Ning, from a certain angle, like looking at his past self.
Perhaps the scene was a bit deadlocked. Wen Zichen, who was sitting on the side, let out a "cough", and then called softly, "Ningning."
Yin Ning immediately ran to Wen Zichen, her small hand grabbed Wen Zichen's hand tightly, and whispered "Brother Zichen", then turned away from Xia Tingwan. .
The little boy's trust and closeness to Wen Zichen was obviously completely different from when he faced Xia Ting in the evening.
"Brother Yan," Wen Zichen rubbed Yin Ning's head with his hand, stood up and said, "Why don't I take Ning Ning upstairs for a while?"
"Yeah." Su Yan responded.
Xia Tingwan couldn't help feeling a little embarrassed looking at the backs of Wen Zichen and Yin Ning going upstairs.
I can.
He repeated it again in his mind. Those three words seem to have a kind of magic power. Thinking about it once, a trace of courage and concentration will emerge from the chest out of thin air.
Su Yan waited until Wen Zichen and the others had completely left before he spoke: "Mother Yin Ning was found. She is in a drug rehab center. I went to see her two days ago to talk about Yin Ning. She refused to give custody, but entrusted me to stay in her place where she couldn't. Taking care of Yin Ning during the time I came out, I guess it will take a year and a half."
Xia Tingwan was a little confused: "Didn't I say before that Ningning took the money and ran away when she was still in the hospital? Why has it suddenly changed now?"
"It's impossible to estimate what a drug addict does in a daze." Su Yan frowned and took a sip of tea: "Now that she has entered the drug rehab center, she may have remembered her responsibilities as a mother, and she refused to do so. There is no way to give guardianship, she is Yin Ning's mother after all, no matter how bad she is, Yin Ning probably still wants to live with her more, so she can only try her best to take care of her during this time."
"Also, most of the time after the car accident, Wen Zichen accompanies Yin Ning, doing rehabilitation, playing games and so on, so Yin Ning trusts Wen Zichen the most and always sticks to him. You want to pick up Yin Ning, but suddenly change the environment It may not be good to change with people you know."
Su Yan paused for a while when he said this, and suddenly showed a tired look on his face, he pressed his finger on the temple, and then continued: "So I think, after you take care of it, every weekend you still have to take care of it. Bring it back here and let Yin Ning live on both sides to get used to it, and don't make him feel abandoned."
"Su Yan..."
Xia Tingwan knew that they were talking about business, but she couldn't help but ask out of thin air, "Are you okay?"
Su Yan was stunned, but immediately said in a deep voice, "I'm fine."
After he finished speaking, both of them were silent for a moment.
After a long time, Xia Tingwan hesitated and spoke again: "I'll listen to you about Yin Ning... Actually, you should be more thoughtful."
"But there's one more thing I want to tell you too, about work."
Su Yan raised his eyes and looked at Xia Tingwan. Xia Tingwan also knew that the fact that he was working now had nothing to do with Su Yan, but he always wanted to ask Su Yan's opinion about things he was not sure about. .
"Zhou Yang picked up a line for me, saying that there is a slow variety show "On the Road", and the recording will start soon. Because one of the MCs is in a hurry and can't participate, so he is anxious to find a backup and ask me if I want to consider it."
"Reality show?" Su Yan seemed a little surprised.
"Well..." Xia Ting nodded late, in fact, thinking of this, he was also in a low mood.
After he became famous, he had received many invitations from reality shows, and he didn't know whether he should participate in it or not. Sometimes he looked very happy when he saw Xing Le and those people lively on the show.
But Zhou Yang had already clearly distinguished Xia Tingwan from those sunny and handsome idols in the initial operation and promotion.
Zhou Yang treats the rebellious and melancholy characteristics as Xia Tingwan's personal brand, and almost inch by inch, Xia Tingwan is locked in this character.
He is a strict person. In his eyes, Xia Tingwan is destined to be a big star, so Xia Tingwan must work very hard and be very precise, and present her fragile and sensitive traits like a performance. For the public to see, it is necessary to maintain a certain distance and a sense of mystery with the public in order to maintain a sense of luxury.
Therefore, the reality show, which is suitable for the public and laughing and laughing, was always rejected by Zhou Yang before.
However, Su Yan has always had a somewhat different concept from Zhou Yang.
After getting married, when Su Yan occasionally mentioned work to him, he just said that he should be free, be happy if he wants to, and do it if he wants to.
easy
Just do the entertainment work, and if you want to make a movie, go and make it.
Su Yan is not a person who will preach to him repeatedly, and he is not willing to interfere too much with his work and personal life. The most serious time he spoke, he just told him: "You are a person first, then a star, don't put your life on the line. It's boring to be a person in the eyes of the public."
Thinking about it now, what Su Yan said should have more profound meaning.
But at that time, he focused on understanding the words to be happy if you want to be happy, but he simply pushed the focus of his work to the back, and became a lottery star who could do whatever he wanted, making Zhou Yang half-dead.
But now his situation is completely different from then. He really wanted to make a movie, but it was a very long process from project approval to shooting to completion. If he wanted to make quick money, it would be impractical.
Coupled with the injury on his face, he has nothing to hide on the big screen, and his subtle expressiveness will also be affected. During this time, Zhou Yang is also helping him to see if there is a chance, but basically it is hope slim.
On the other hand, when it comes to variety shows and reality shows, many shows reveal that they want to further negotiate.
Because Xia Tingwan has too much gossip and hot spots, the actor is part of it, and the variety show debut is also part of it, but what attracts more attention are his marriage and his car accident.
What he never expected was that, with the passage of time, the most profitable things on his body were the most obscure scars in his life.
"It's time to go to the reality show, have you thought about it?"
Su Yan seemed to be hesitant to speak, and finally just asked this simple question.
"Also...it's almost done."
Xia Tingwan's nose is a little sour. He has never participated in variety shows. He doesn't know if he is suitable, whether he has a sense of variety show, or whether his face will be ugly in a simple and direct shooting environment like a reality show. Incredible, I don't know how the public will talk about him, talking about his drunk driving and his divorce.
He didn't know anything. Sometimes when he thinks about it at night, he always feels empty and scared, but when he wakes up during the day, he has to continue to persevere.
In fact, during this time, he really felt that he was quite strong, but when he came to Su Yan, he really wanted to plunge into this man's arms.
——
"Since you've decided, that's fine."
Su Yan didn't say anything more. In fact, Xia Tingwan also understood that with their relationship now, maybe they couldn't talk about these things honestly.
"Then... I may come a few times this month to get acquainted with Ningning and take him out to play or something, okay?"
"Yeah." Su Yan nodded: "I should have been here in the afternoon and evening, let me know before you come."
"Ah, okay."
Xia Ting was stunned when she heard it late. Su Yan has always been busy with work. After marrying him, she has stayed at home as often as possible, but she seldom has such a leisurely time now.
He recalled that every time he came to Su's house recently, it was really surprising that Su Yan seemed to be staying in Xiangshan's house all the time.
But although he felt that anyway, it seemed inconvenient to ask Su Yan's private affairs, thinking of this, Xia Tingwan stood up and said goodbye to Su Yan.
When he left Xiangshan, Xia Tingwan suddenly couldn't help feeling a little sad again. When he and Su Yan went on vacation overseas, they used to lie on the hotel's private beach and chat all night.
He and Su Yan lazily said that he was not a professional actor in the first place. He didn't understand anything about academic or practical style. Every time a reporter asked him about his acting skills, he wanted to pretend to be dead.
Su Yan smiled, kissed his ear and said, you are a good actor, you just have to get the right play and get the role that you can touch in your life experience.
He brightened his eyes and asked Su Yanru what he was like.
Su Yan whispered in his ear, for example, a little boy who is in the period of late sexual enlightenment, eager and afraid of sex, so irritable and charming.
He was so angry that he bit Su Yan's chin with his teeth, and he knew that Su Yan was teasing him about what happened when they first met.
Biting and biting, it turned into unbridled frolic again.
He and Su Yan smoked a cigarette together, the smoke passed back and forth between their fingertips, like a secret desire, and then they kissed repeatedly in the sound of the waves.
He really missed those days, the days when he could talk to Su Yan a lot.
From the outside, he seems to be able to calm down and deal with the various things in life, but inside, he is always reluctant to part with every memory.
Even if he rationally told himself not to think about it again and again, memories could always squeeze into his mind from any gap.
When think about it, heart always hurts, but can't help but reminisce about every kiss and every sultry word.
He seems to be masochistic, hovering between the sweet and painful poles from time to time.
When sitting in the car and going back, Zhao Nanshu said while driving: "Boss, Wen Zichen feels a little interesting—"
"What's wrong?" Xia Tingwan opened the car window and asked with the night wind blowing.
"From my keen intuition, he is directing and acting
Gongdou
big play. "
Even Xia Tingwan couldn't help laughing at Zhao Nanshu's nervous tone. He turned his head to look at Zhao Nanshu: "Can men fight in the palace too?"
"Of course I can, listen to my analysis-" Zhao Nanshu started talking nonsense seriously: "Let's assume Mr. Su is now the emperor, you are the disgraced concubine Xia Gui, and Wen Zichen is the gentleman Wen who just entered the palace, and now In this situation, isn't it that your noble man doesn't want you to be close to the prince Yin Ning, so as to prevent you from competing for favor and making a comeback?"
Zhao Nanshu has been obsessed with watching Gong Dou dramas these past few days, and Xia Tingwan also watched several episodes with him, and he watched them with relish.
"Then according to you, can I defeat noble Wen." So he also asked in a serious manner.
"Your rank is too shallow, I'm afraid you won't be able to do it alone." Zhao Nanshu shook his hair and stepped on the accelerator: "But if you add me, our two brothers will be a perfect match. Strategies, don't arrange his little gentleman Wen clearly?"
"Ha ha ha ha……"
Xia Tingwan laughed so much that his stomach hurt, he was inexplicably happy, he held his face with his hands foolishly, thought of a name that fit the situation for Zhao Nanshu, and jumped up: "Xiao Nan Son, then you say, in terms of beauty alone - how does gentleman Wen compare to me?"
Zhao Nanshu happened to park the car at the traffic light, and glanced at Xia Tingwan, his expression couldn't help revealing a hint of doting like an old hen: "Of course Lei is the cutest little idiot."
Zhao Nanshu and Xia Tingwan watched Hong Kong dramas together in their house in Xiangshan for a while. The two of them couldn't learn anything except the pronunciation of two characters. One was thunder and the other was monkey. They also spoke to each other briefly. Became a strange mouth fetish.
At that time, Su Yan had been on a business trip for more than a week. As soon as he came back, Xia Tingwan threw himself into his arms with a smile and shouted, "Mr. Su, Lei Hou is handsome."
Zhao Nanshu drank the wine and repeated it after: "Mr. Su, Lei Hou is handsome."
Su Yan was wearing an upright suit, but was caught off guard by Xia Tingwan, and her face turned slightly red.
Zhao Nanshu remembered the happiness of Xia Tingwan and Su Yan at that time. Although he was a little sad, he felt very pure.
He really believed at the time that the two would be together forever.
In fact, even now, this belief has not been completely shaken.
——
In fact, I don't know if I should explain it. It's a bit ironic. I only wrote about the "personality" in today's update. Su Yan told Xia Tingwan not to live in the personas, because for the elderly , Human design is a very false thing.
No one will live in a single stereotype, and knowing a person cannot be that simple.
A person's life trajectory is so complicated, how can it be framed in a few adjectives? When Xia Tingwan was 20 years old, he was arrogant and self-willed. People can also hurt themselves, so at this time he is in a chaotic period, and he wants to change, grow, and Su Yan.
But everything has to be explored by oneself, like a chick that has just returned to the world, a little timid, but this is a normal reaction during the withdrawal period.
At this stage of his relationship with Su Yan, there is no way to act like a spoiled brat, even if his instinct is to throw himself in Su Yan's arms, this is of course very embarrassing, because he suppresses his nature.
But when he grows up, when his love with Su Yan starts again, he will still be Su Yan's most precious little prince.
Love is like this, in front of Su Yan, he can always be a arrogant little peacock. Su Yan loves him like this, and Su Yan loves not the gentle but boring Wen Zichen.
But Xia Tingwan, as an individual, must stand upright and be strong, and cannot be a weak rose in a glass cover.
This is the ambivalence of the characters and also the malleability, it is not fixed.
Just like Su Yan, Su Yan seems to be gentle and pampered, but the other side of deepness is extreme self-protection that is unwilling to expose vulnerability.
In the relationship between the two of them, Su Yan was not the one who did exactly the right thing. When he was weak, he chose to return to the way he was most familiar with, to have a relationship with someone he didn't love.
To a certain extent, he has betrayed his ideal of love, so many people feel that he is ruthless, I can understand.
I think discussions of characters and plots, I have never felt normal.
It's just that sometimes I think it's fun to discuss together, and I don't need to jump in and say too much.
But I feel astonished and disagree with the accusation of false characters and wrong goods.
Writing is a lonely and patient process, because the plot is flowing, the characters are flowing, and these dynamic things are written, and I hope readers will give me a little patience to read.
If you don't, it's not a big deal. If you don't like it, it's not a big deal. If you don't like it, just close a page.
I'm an author, not a seller.The character design I wrote is the core part of the character, not all parts. If there is a deviation in the understanding, I still hope to give me a little respect.
What I write is the story in my heart. I will not spend dozens or hundreds of times more time than readers to write an article, and then cheat the so-called reading time.
This is a losing business.