Chapter 20

Xia Tingwan took a new book from Xu Zhe, but Xu Zhe was a little surprised.

In fact, if it was the previous him, he might not be able to calm down and talk about work in a state of agitation, but in the past few months, he has grown up quietly.

He has slowly learned to live his life well while keeping his feelings in his heart.

Maybe this is the survival skill that an adult must have, and he doesn't learn it until he is 25 years old, and it is impossible to say whether it is lucky or unfortunate.

"Actually, I've wanted to make this story for many years," Xu Zhe said with some helplessness in his eyes: "I thought about letting Nannan join us before, but then I still felt that with the relationship between the two of us, it would be too much... "

Lu Xiangnan was teasing Lanlan with a cat stick, and when he heard Xu Zhe say this, he turned back and snorted.

Xu Zhe smiled bitterly: "Also, this film is basically not released in China - a pure literary film, you can only rely on the quality to see if you can win the award, and you can't make a lot of money. The investment side is also hesitant, and some are willing to I voted, and I wanted to put actors in, so I had to keep delaying. This time someone finally paid a lot of money, and there were no restrictions. It's settled. I'm not going to audition this time, I only contact some actors who are interested in private, and you are one of them."

"Thank you, teacher."

Xia Tingwan spoke, but Xu Zhe shook his head and continued: "You know me, when it comes to work, everything is business. The male lead's performance in this play is the most important thing, and I think about it very much. All capable actors need to audition, and you are no exception."

"And I think on your side, you also need to read the book carefully and then consider whether you are willing to participate." Xu Zhe said calmly: "There are two points. First of all, there are many nude scenes and intimate scenes in this play. Is the scale acceptable? I remember that when you were filming "Whale Talk", you were very resistant to nude scenes. Of course, I understand your personal experience, I understand, and I tried my best to cooperate with you in the end. But this one is at this point. It's not negotiable."

"Second point, this story is about the feelings between two men, you know, when it comes to these, your personal emotional orientation will definitely be used to make a fuss. In the past, it is not that no gays have appeared in this drama. It turns out that he was ridiculed for playing in his true colors, and missed awards. Times have changed, but some prejudices are deeply ingrained, you have to be mentally prepared, and you may face some unfair things."

Xia Tingwan was stunned for a moment. He hadn't read the script yet, but he knew that he really had to think carefully about the information revealed by Xu Zhe.

On the one hand, he really resists nude scenes, the scars on his body... He really doesn't know if he has the courage to show it on the big screen now.

On the other hand, it was something he had never thought of doing an intimacy scene with another actor.

He was a little dazed for a while, but Xu Zhe smiled gently, stood up and said, "Ting Wan - go back and take a good look at the script before making a decision. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me. It's almost time, I will be tonight. I have to accompany Nannan to watch a movie in 1998, "Brokeback Mountain" is playing these two days, and I will send you home by the way."

"You don't need to send me off, teacher." Xia Tingwan also stood up: "Nan Shu is nearby, I'll just ask him to pick me up."

Lu Xiangnan likes to watch old movies, and later he and Xu Zhe invested in a small movie theater called 1998 in H-style.

The reason for this name is because "Titanic" was released in 1998, and Lu Xiangnan felt that 1998 was the beginning of a legendary era.

The 1998 Cinema has only two screening halls, and they only show some old movies in the middle of the night. The original intention is to allow movie fans to relive the classics on the big screen from time to time.

Because of the good environment and good privacy, although the price is very expensive, there are still many middle-class petty bourgeoisie who are keen on the past, and it is a very famous place in H City.

Xia Tingwan had also been there with Su Yan before to see "Poem" by Korean director Li Changdong.

After coming out, there were tears in Xia Tingwan's eyes, but she couldn't cry to the fullest.

At that time, he was too young to understand the misery and absurdity in his life, unable to speak, vague sadness like poetry, and he only felt unspeakable discomfort.

It was an autumn night. Su Yan wrapped the two of them in windbreakers and leaned against the guardrail beside the road, kissing him gently on the deserted street.

again and again.

Until he recovered, he hugged Su Yan's neck.

Su Yan also hugged him tightly and whispered in his ear, "Let's go, let's eat late-night hot pot."

Looking back on that time now, feel so romantic.

...

The day after returning home, Xia Tingwan got some good news.

The house he bought in Tianlan Pavilion has been renovated and can be moved in at any time.

Xia Tingwan was very excited. He had never experienced this before. Although the house in Xiangshan of the Su family was impeccable, it was not his house after all. Later, he paid for the mansion that Zhang Xueqiao and his stepfather bought, but he was not interested in asking.

Only this time, he bought the house at his own expense and hired someone to decorate it himself. It felt like a new chapter in his life had opened.

When went to Tianlan Pavilion, it was really bright and generous, and felt satisfied everywhere.

The house is very big, with three bedrooms, a master bedroom for Xia Tingwan, and a guest room. The room arranged for Yin Ning is the largest, and the design is also the most attentive.

Yin Ning likes to paint, Xia Tingwan ordered to paint the entire wall into Van Gogh's famous "Starry Sky over the Rhone", the color of the whole room is also the same, and the paint is a mysterious dark blue tone. .

A wooden easel has been installed by the window, and there is a wooden table next to the easel, in order to put paints and palettes.

Xia Ting Wan excitedly sent the photo of the room to Su Yan, who responded quickly: "It's decorated? When are you going to pick up Ning Ning?"

"Just next week." Xia Ting thought for a while and replied, "I'll take the rest of the durian candy for you then."

"Thank you. But I'm on a business trip and I'm not home."

"Aren't you trying to avoid me?"

Although Su Yan has been staying in Xiangshan recently, it is normal for him to travel on business.

It's just that when Xia Tingwan was in a good mood, she suddenly wanted to tease him, and deliberately sent a sentence: "I didn't say when the next week will be over, so you know you're not at home?"

The status on Su Yan's side changed to "The other party is typing..."

After inputting for a while, Su Yan finally sent a sentence: "Tell me the day you set, and I will arrange for someone to hand it over."

With a serious and business-like tone, he is really a real old man.

Xia Tingwan couldn't help but post a moving picture of her rolling her eyes, with the words "Pigs hate you".

"…"

Xia Tingwan looked at Su Yanhui's three ordinary little dots, and was suddenly a little disappointed.

This emoji is from the Internet, and it is based on his character in "Fighting the Frontier".

To be honest, the film was bad, probably because of the director's temperament with the whole film. His performance was also a little embarrassing, laughing and staring, all exaggerated, but the resulting emoji became all the rage.

In the hottest moving pictures, in addition to this "Pigs hate you", there is also a picture of him acting angry, with the words: "The nostrils gradually widen when they are angry."

When he saw this expression, he was so angry that his nostrils opened wide.

When I'm out of anger, I want to fucking laugh.

During that time, Su Yan frequently texted him "to the point that his nostrils gradually widened", but he was unable to fight back, so he could only reply angrily, "Pigs dislike you".

The way the two flirted in the past is vivid in my mind, but now that he has sent it, Su Yan has not accepted it.

Although...it's not surprising.

Xia Ting sighed late, and fell down on the big bed in his new room a little bored.

——

On Monday night, Zhao Nanshu drove with Xia Tingwan to pick up Yin Ning.

Su Yan wasn't there. After Xia Ting entered the house late, it was not surprising to see Wen Zichen and the housekeeper standing in the front hall with Yin Ning.

Yin Ning carried a small blue Transformers patterned schoolbag, lowered her head and held Wen Zichen's hand, refusing to speak.

After Xia Tingwan came back from Thailand, she met Yin Ning twice. Su Yan also talked to Yin Ning about his plan to live there and come back on weekends. Yin Ning listened silently all the time, and did not show any intention of refusing.

But Xia Tingwan was always a little worried. Yin Ning was such a quiet child. He walked over and squatted in front of Yin Ning, rubbing the back of Yin Ning's head lightly: "Ning Ning, have you packed everything?"

"Yeah." Yin Ning replied in a low voice, but refused to look up.

"Mr. Xia has really put in a lot of effort to take care of Ning Ning." Wen Zichen suddenly spoke from the side.

Xia Tingwan frowned and looked up at Wen Zichen.

Wen Zichen's face was a little cold, which surprised him at first glance.

He remembered that when Wen Zichen faced him, he almost always had that polite and soft smile on his face.

This was the first time saw Wen Zichen's expressionless face.

"Mr. Xia..."

Wen Zichen seemed to hesitate, he looked at Yin Ning, turned his head and said to the housekeeper, "Uncle Shen, take Ning Ning to Mr. Xia's car first."

He obviously had something to say, but he still remembered to avoid Yin Ning.

Xia Tingwan stood up and looked at Wen Zichen. He had no interest in Wen Zichen, but he was still a little curious about what he wanted to say.

"Mr. Xia, do you need this?"

Wen Zichen waited until Yin Ning walked out of the house before looking at Xia Tingwan and said.

Xia Tingwan was stunned by the sudden question, so she could only ask directly, "What do you mean?"

"Did you plan to take care of Ning Ning yourself, just to force Mr. Su to let me move out of Xiangshan?"

Wen Zichen raised his eyebrows with a somewhat ironic expression on his face: "Mr. Xia looks down on me too much. It takes so much trouble. I live in Xiangshan to take care of Mr. Su and Ningning. Is that making you uncomfortable?"

Xia Tingwan was a little speechless. He thought Wen Zichen was really ridiculous, but he felt that if he was serious about it, he would look stupid, and he didn't know what to say for a while.

"Mr. Xia, you and Mr. Su have already divorced. In fact, you shouldn't care so much, right?"

Wen Zichen Xia Tingwan was a little taller, and when he came over, he felt a sense of pressing step by step.

Xia Tingwan felt a little irritated, he barely suppressed his anger and said, "It was originally my responsibility to take care of Ningning, not Su Yan's. I was doing what I was supposed to do and doing my duty. Wen Zi Chen, don't think too much - I picked up Ning Ning, and it has nothing to do with you. Before I came, I didn't know about Su Yan asking you to move out."

"Really?" Wen Zichen twitched the corner of his mouth: "Then why Mr. Su never told me to move out before, but after you came back from Thailand to meet him, he proposed that I don't have to live here and only come back on weekends. what about?"

"Then why didn't you ask Su Yan to explain to you?" Xia Tingwan asked rhetorically.

A trace of anger flashed in Wen Zichen's eyes, but he didn't say anything.

"Mr. Wen, let's keep a distance." Xia Tingwan learned Wen Zichen's tone and called him Mr. Wen coldly: "Just like how you and Su Yan are, I will never ask you a question, Because your business has nothing to do with me, I don't care about you at all, and I don't care about your answer."

After he finished speaking, he turned around and wanted to leave, but Wen Zichen suddenly stepped forward and embraced him.

"Xia Tingwan, do you think you can win like this?" Wen Zichen stared at Xia Tingwan, his tone slowed down again, and he said with a hint of comfort: "Why don't you think about Mr. Su— Think about what he needs? Companionship, or love, if you don't give it to him, why don't you let others give it to him? Don't you want Mr. Su to live a happier life?"

Xia Tingwan raised his head suddenly, although he was completely irritated, his face became more and more cold.

"Wen Zichen, what Su Yan wants, he will make his own choice - if you are confident that he needs you, you will not come and tell me this."

He stared into Wen Zichen's eyes and said word by word, "There is no such thing as winning or losing between me and you. My opponent is not you."

...

When he returned to Zhao Nanshu's car, Xia Tingwan's face was still very bad.

In fact, a small part of his anger was directed at Wen Zichen, but most of it was anger at Su Yan who made him fall into this embarrassment.

He estimated that Wen Zichen should not dare to question Su Yan, so he came to attack him.

Wen Zichen regarded this as a battle with him, which made his chest suffocate with anger.

He was originally the little prince that Su Yan held in his palm.

He has always regarded himself very highly. In fact, thinking about it, it is also because of this that his and Su Yan's way of doing things is very different.

After the kissing scandal with Li Kevin came out, although Su Yan also got angry with him. But the more depressing and unhappy feeling was actually vented to Li Kevin three months later.

But he is not like that.

In the past, when Su Yan pursued him, if he saw other people contacting Su Yan intentionally, even if Su Yan did not respond, he would lose his temper with Su Yan.

He has always been arrogant when it comes to emotional matters.

Su Yan belongs to him alone, as long as he subdues Su Yan, he doesn't have to fight or rob at all, and he doesn't bother to show his dissatisfaction to any third person.

Although he and Su Yan are now divorced, the pride in his bones has not changed too much, but the relationship between Su Yan and Wen Zichen has become so mixed that even he is in a low-level embarrassment.

He took out his mobile phone and wanted to send a WeChat message to Su Yan, but he couldn't help but stop when he saw the "Pigs hate you" he sent in the dialogue window.

I was so angry that thought about it, but felt that mood was a bit complicated.

He hadn't thought about it carefully just now, but when he calmed down, he suddenly felt a little sweet or astringent taste in his heart.

Xu Zhe said that the relationship with Wen Zichen is Su Yan's cat whiskers.

He originally thought, maybe don't push too hard, but his personality really can't bear these things.

Those desperate words with Su Yan before actually put him in a very embarrassing situation.

He didn't dare to think, if Su Yan really didn't care about his feelings and continued to mix with Wen Zichen for no apparent reason, how would he show his pride.

But Su Yan asked Wen Zichen to move out, and only came over on weekends when Ningning came back.

This...isn't it like listening to him?

The old cat, Su Yan, hid himself from him, but seemed to be keeping his words in his heart, secretly thinking about shaving his beard.

——

Yin Ning didn't go back to school until next month, so Xia Tingwan officially started his short-term full-time childcare life, but it felt very bad.

The relationship between Yin Ning and him has gradually eased. Although it is not as close to Wen Zichen, Yin Ning will chat with him in a low voice and show him his paintings. He is already very satisfied. .

Of course he knew that Yin Ning would face discomfort when he moved to Tianlan Pavilion, but he never thought that the space had changed and the relationship between the two would suddenly go back to the beginning.

Yin Ning hardly spoke to him, and lowered his head when eating, taking a few mouthfuls to finish it off, and then he went back to his room after eating.

He tried his best to take Yin Ning to the movies and to the amusement park, but Yin Ning refused one by one.

Xia Tingwan went to buy the latest Playstation again, and wanted to play VR games with Yin Ning, but this didn't arouse Yin Ning's interest at all, but it was cheaper than Zhao Nanshu, who often came to help him with his baby recently.

Until the weekend, when Xia Tingwan brought Yin Ning back to Xiangshan, Yin Ning suddenly showed a long-lost smile when he saw Wen Zichen standing in front of the door to greet him.

The little boy ran over with his schoolbag on his back and shouted loudly, "Brother Zichen—"

Wen Zichen hugged Yin Ning: "Baby Ning Ning, do you miss me?"

Yin Ning nodded vigorously, and it was a joy that could not be concealed.

Wen Zichen patted Yin Ning on the back gently and said, "Mr. Wendy has come, let's go to paint first?"

Wendy is Su Yan's personal teacher for Yin Ning, and she comes to accompany Yin Ning to paint for two hours a week.

Wen Zichen said and put Yin Ning down, took the boy's hand and walked into the house.

He took two steps, then turned his head and glanced meaningfully at Xia Tingwan.

Xia Tingwan lowered her head and took a deep breath.

Su Yan stood beside him and didn't speak, but the cold fragrance of cologne water was still running into his nose.

"Su Yan, I...I smoke a cigarette."

Xia Tingwan spoke in frustration, he was so powerless.

He was very happy to see Su Yan again, but now he is not in the mood to say a few more words.

He knew that Ning Ning had no reason to like him. His drunk driving accident had damaged Ning Ning's eyesight. He deserved to be hated.

Xia Tingwan also understood what Wen Zichen's glance meant - Wen Zichen felt that he had to take care of Ning Ning in order to force himself out of Xiangshan. Now, seeing Ning Ning still so clingy, of course he felt a little proud.

But he is not.

He was really trying his best to take good care of this little boy, but he had no direction at all and felt so clumsy and useless.

"Let's go out and talk." Su Yan said.

The two of them sat side by side on the chair next to the flowerbed last time.

Xia Ting took a sigh of smoke and asked, "When did you come back?"

"This morning." Su Yan replied, he hesitated for a moment, and suddenly whispered, "Don't be too discouraged, it's only been a week. And Ning Ning likes Wen Zichen the most, even if he doesn't get too close to me."

Xia Ting was stunned for a while, and asked subconsciously, "Why?"

"I don't get along with kids."

Su Yan looked down at his fingers, he seemed a little helpless, and sighed slightly: "I don't know what to say to the child - he is not comfortable with me, maybe... a little afraid of me. I can only Take care of him in other ways and accompany him, I'm not good at it."

Xia Tingwan lit another cigarette, knowing that Su Yan was comforting him.

For some reason, even though it was just such a light sentence, it suddenly made him feel a lot easier.

Su Yan turned his head to look, his slender brows were slightly wrinkled, and suddenly he said a little unhappily, "Let's smoke less."

Xia Tingwan looked at Su Yan through a thin layer of smoke and smiled lightly.

He didn't even remember how long it had been since Su Yan had spoken to him.

Su Yan said that he would not get along with children, but it was not the case.

Compared with Su Yan, he is a person with a very unhealthy life and rest, and a stubborn personality. He is the worst kind of arrogant child.

Su Yan always told him over and over again to go to bed earlier, smoke less, and pay attention to his body. Often his face was ashen with anger, but he couldn't bear to be too cruel to him, and sometimes he was like a competent and distressed father.

"I won't." He deliberately raised the cigarette a few inches higher, but didn't smoke again.

Seeing that Su Yan ignored him, he couldn't help but put his head close again and whispered, "Su Yan, I heard that you asked Wen Zichen to move out of Xiangshan?"

"Um."

Su Yan only responded with such a sound, and did not explain much at all, and there was no change in expression on his face.

"why?"

"It's nothing." Su Yan said calmly, "Ning Ning is usually with you, but I may not always be in Xiangshan. It's more convenient for him to go back to live."

His answer seemed to fit perfectly, and he couldn't ask anything for a while.

Xia Tingwan had to put out the cigarette dully and changed the subject: "Su Yan, Xu Zhe is preparing a film called "Search". He asked me to read the script and then consider whether to participate in the audition. Xu Zhe said that this drama involves same-sex sex scenes and nude scenes, which cannot be shown in China, and it is quite controversial, so let me consider it carefully."

"Well." Su Yan said, "I know."

"What?" Xia Tingwan's eyes widened in surprise: "Did Xu Zhe tell you?"

"No, I said I've read the original book of "Xun"." Su Yan was silent for a while and then said: "I read it when I was reading more than ten years ago. It was a very sad story, so I always remember it. Do you want to act? ?"

Xia Ting lowered his head late, he heard Su Yan's description, and suddenly aroused his emotions these days, and his eyes couldn't help but feel a little sour.

He whispered, "Su Yan, I think this story makes people feel so lonely."

Su Yan also looked at him, hesitating to speak.

"I want to act," Xia Tingwan said word by word, "I really want to act."

Xia Tingwan decided to read the script on the third day after she got it. After reading half of it, she couldn't help but go to the original "Xun". When she saw the ending in one breath, her chest was so tight that she couldn't sleep all night.

The role Xu Zhe considered playing was Gu Fei, a mute boy from a small southern town.

In the original novel, Gu Fei was described, saying that he was "in his early twenties, with a shallow scar on his right face, handsome eyebrows and eyes. At first glance, he was timid, but there was a stubbornness in his eyes. He ran a private house alone and renovated it. In a small hotel, I have a few cats, and I live in the smallest and most dilapidated attic. Although I am dumb, he will prepare whatever the guests want, which is also appropriate. I am familiar with my neighbors, and there is nothing wrong with life. convenient."

One summer, Xu Rong, a college student from a big city, took advantage of the holiday to come to this small southern town to sketch, and lived in Gu Fei's small hotel.

Xu Rong looks very handsome, very likable, and speaks beautifully, with the unrestrained energy of a young artist.

Gu Fei secretly watched Xu Rong come and go with the drawing board on his back every day.

Peeking was finally discovered one day, but Xu Rong didn't care and said he wanted to draw Gu Fei.

At first, drew the face, and then drew the whole body.

At the end, Xu Rong said, let's draw the human body.

Gu Fei took off his clothes.

Xia Tingwan could understand why Xu Zhe wanted to make "Search".

The first half of the novel is always shrouded in a foggy, wet rain in a small southern town.

That kind of mood, lonely but beautiful.

In the small damp and cramped attic, dim light bulbs.

There is no air conditioner, only the sound of the old fan spinning and crunching, and the soft and sultry summer wind.

The creeping tiger climbed to the small window of the attic on the rainy night, like a continuous desire.

Two young men, one painting, one lying

At first it was a long stare, then from a shallow to a heavy gasp, until the sweaty body was entangled.

They play, paint, dry clothes together, lie on the balcony and watch the stars and listen to the cat calling Chun.

Xu Rong was always chattering, saying that he was a student of the Academy of Fine Arts, that he dreamed of painting, which province in the north he was from, that he liked Gu Fei and Gu Fei's body, and that he would take Gu Fei to see the north.

Gu Fei was always silent, he couldn't make a sound, so he kept listening.

All the good things came to an abrupt end.

One day in late summer, Xu Rong suddenly disappeared and never came back.

So the dumb boy who had never left the small town sublet the inn and head north by himself.

There were only a few sketches of the human body that Xu Rong had drawn for him, and the only clue that Xu Rong had attended the Academy of Fine Arts.

I've been looking for it for six years.

At the end of "Search", Gu Fei still saw Xu Rong.

He was twenty-seven years old at the time, and one foot was a little lame, black and thin.

In fact, he didn't find Xu Rong, but met Xu Rong, the owner of the hot pot restaurant.

Xu Rong got married and got fat. When she saw Gu Fei, she was moved and apologetic.

It turned out that Xu Rong had never attended the Academy of Fine Arts, let alone a student of the Academy of Fine Arts.

In the summer of six years ago, a young boy who had just graduated, liked to draw, but had nothing to do, naively told a lie when he didn't want to face the society or himself.

He fled to the south and met a beautiful mute boy on a wet, hazy rainy day.

He painted him, made love to him, dreamed together, and dreamed that the world was old.

Xu Rong only wanted to lie to himself for a summer, but he didn't expect to live with Gu Fei for six years.

On the last side, Gu Fei asked Xu Rong to paint another picture for him.

When they were about to separate, Xu Rong cried and said sorry.

Gu Fei shook his head, turned and left with a limp, returning to the south with the last painting Xu Rong had painted for him.

At the end of the story, it stayed in the early morning when Gu Fei returned to his hometown. The novel wrote—

"It is always foggy in the morning, and the light of the sky penetrates into the world little by little through the gap between gray and white.

Gu Fei pushed open the wooden door of the attic, and with a 'squeak', a gust of wind blew silently, and the dust rustled on the ground.

As if someone came and left."