Chapter 23

Of course, it is very happy to be a powerful man in Su's house.

Whatever you want to eat and drink, someone will bring it up at any time.

Su Yan went out to Tianlan Pavilion to help Xia Tingwan get the script of "Xun" and some necessary supplies.

Xia Tingwan fiddled with the surround sound system in the large bedroom familiarly, and listened to the song comfortably for a long time.

But the trouble of not being able to move his feet immediately followed. He held it in bed for a long time, until Su Yan came back, and then he hurriedly leaned into Su Yan's ear and said that he wanted to go to the toilet.

Su Yan carried Xia Tingwan to the bathroom again.

Xia Tingwan's right foot was still very swollen, and even stepping on the hard floor was painful. He couldn't help taking a breath.

After struggling in front of the toilet for a long time, the feeling of powerlessness that he couldn't stand up straight made him feel very angry for a while.

Su Yan hugged him from behind: "Tingting, don't worry... Step on my feet, don't use force, I'll support you."

Xia Tingwan shivered a little, and put her toes on Su Yan's instep, not daring to exert any strength at all, and leaned back softly, her entire body resting on Su Yan's strong arms behind her.

In that posture, he and Su Yan were like a kangaroo with a small kangaroo in its arms.

Su Yan put one arm around his waist, and the other hand helped him take off his pajama pants and the underwear inside.

Xia Ting said "Ah" late, and her bare buttocks just pressed against the base of Su Yan's thighs, and the sudden contact made his face instantly hot.

Su Yan's body also froze for a moment, and then quickly shrank back in a strange posture.

In the quiet bathroom, Xia Tingwan felt her heartbeat beating rapidly, and she felt a bit embarrassed by the sound.

He hurriedly solved it in a panic, and when he vented, the sound of rushing water covered up the sound of his heartbeat, but it brought a new layer of embarrassment.

He dared not speak.

Su Yan didn't speak, and silently helped Xia Tingwan put on his pants again, waited for Xia Tingwan to wash his hands, and then picked him up and walked out.

By turning the angle like this, Xia Tingwan was finally able to see Su Yan's front.

There was no expression on the face of the always deep and introverted man, only a slight redness appeared in his ears.

It's weird, they've been married for five years.

In such an old-fashioned relationship, his butt has grown a flower, which is nothing special. Su Yan has not only seen it, but also touched and kissed it.

And he is the same here. He and Su Yan have rolled over the sheets countless times. Logically speaking, it was just pasted for a while, and there was really no good mood ups and downs.

But at this time, it was like the first time they were in close contact with their first love.

Xia Tingwan's heart seemed to be scratched by a cat's paw, and suddenly itchy.

The relationship between two people is like a waltz where you go in and out.

When he was shy, he wanted to hide in the hole like a little mole, but when he saw Su Yan's reaction, he became more courageous, and couldn't help but stick his head out to touch the old cat's whiskers.

He put his face close to Su Yan's ear and said, "Su Yan, I still want to take a bath."

Su Yan turned to look at him, but then quickly turned his eyes away, and said somewhat unnaturally, "The wound can't be wet yet, what kind of bath should I take?"

Xia Tingwan was a little angry, but couldn't refute it.

I don't know why Su Yan can always find so many reasons for his righteous words. He gritted his teeth dejectedly and changed the subject abruptly: "Then I want to eat hot pot at night."

Auntie Rong and the others knew Xia Tingwan's taste like the back of their hands. They prepared spicy and tomato-style pot bottoms, and the ingredients for rinsing were all exactly what Xia Tingwan liked, such as yellow-throated hairy belly, fresh beef, beef tongue, and fresh The green bamboo shoots, lettuce, lettuce, lotus root slices and mushrooms were full and brightly colored on a whole table.

Aunt Rong also specially made brown sugar ice powder and hot pot for him to drink herbal tea to clear his stomach, and put them in the refrigerator in advance.

Su Yan has never been someone to be served at any time, so when he was almost ready, he asked Aunt Rong and the others to rest.

Yin Ning was not there either. After the painting class, Su Yan asked Uncle Shen and the others to go fishing outside with Yin Ning.

Su Yan carried Xia Tingwan into the large leather chair prepared earlier, leaving only the two of them at the table.

Xia Tingwan used to be the delicate little prince at home, but this time, she was even more impolite with a sprained foot.

He leaned back lazily in the leather chair and began to call out confidently: "Get your belly down first."

After the hot pot boiled, Su Yan rolled up the cuffs of his shirt and served dishes according to Xia Tingwan's instructions. He skillfully scalded the fresh hairy belly with chopsticks, and then put it into Xia Tingwan's oil dish. .

Xia Tingwan couldn't sit still, impatiently swallowed the crispy hairy belly whole, burned herself until she stuck out her tongue, and said vaguely, "Delicious, delicious."

Su Yan shook his head angrily and funny: "Little guy, I'm so greedy for you."

He patiently rubbed Xia Tingwan's hairy belly piece by piece. This kind of thing must be watched carefully. It is easy to burn old, so he doesn't care about eating it at all.

Fortunately, Su Yan is used to it.

Xia Tingwan and Xing Le are both critically ill hot pot patients.

But Xing Le was much more serious than Xia Tingwan. After his debut, he was often photographed eating at a hot pot restaurant after work.

In contrast, Xia Tingwan's love for hot pot is a bit like a hobby gradually formed by Xing Le's subtle influence.

Later, when he and Su Yan were together, he actually liked hot pot more and more.

In addition to appetite, more, is the obsession with that kind of atmosphere.

Steaming hot pot, sitting face to face with close people, chatting and eating.

It felt like a kind of warmth that he had always longed for.

He likes to eat hairy belly and yellow throat. Su Yan memorized the formula for him. The former takes seven or eight seconds to burn, while the latter takes longer.

In this way, when Su Yan helps him rinse, he can always let him eat the best and most powerful ingredients.

Thinking about it now, that kind of love did not come from a powerful person in a high position.

Not the slightest bit of pomp and circumstance, not much money.

But it's just plain, sincere—

It is from an ordinary man who loves and cherishes his baby in every possible way.

He always took it for granted before, so he didn't understand the feeling of his heart being rubbed softly.

Xia Tingwan put his injured right foot on Su Yan's leg quietly, his face blushed vividly as the steam of the hot pot steamed.

...

From time to time, the wind in the autumn night is wild.

The location of Xiangshan Mountain is high, and it is natural to feel the outdated momentum of the strong wind.

In such a night, it is the most beautiful thing to hunker down at home to eat hot pot and watch a movie with a full stomach.

Xia Tingwan chose an old Korean horror film called "The Story".

He is not very brave. If it was himself, he would never dare to challenge horror movies, but with Su Yan around, it would be different.

Before watching the movie, Xia Tingwan suddenly wanted to eat Haagen-Dazs, which was indeed beyond Su Yan's expectations.

Unlike Su Yan, Xia Tingwan has never been interested in sweets, so Su Yan didn't think to prepare it before.

Su Yan first said that he would buy it tomorrow.

But Xia Ting quit late, but he was much more cunning than before, not tough at all, instead he kept telling Su Yan that he wanted something sweet.

Su Yan couldn't do anything about him. After agreeing, Xia Tingwan ordered several things from him. In addition to ice cream and some snacks, he finally added "Marlboro".

It's like children usually put the things they want most, but know that their parents don't want to buy them last, trying to hide from the sky without attracting attention.

Su Yan was not so fooled, and glanced at Xia Tingwan lightly, "Marlboro?"

"I only smoke one or two," Xia Tingwan couldn't go out to buy it herself, so she could only grind Su Yan aggrievedly: "Really, I definitely won't smoke much, just look at me. Su Yan, I'm fine. It's boring, I can only lie on the bed, and my feet hurt again..."

Although he didn't seem to have any logic, Su Yan could only reluctantly agree, stood up and emphasized again: "I only bring you one bag."

After Su Yan left, he walked for more than half an hour.

Just when Xia Tingwan was about to call impatiently, Su Yan finally came back.

Because of the strong wind outside, Su Yan's face was blown a little white, and his hair was messy.

"Why did it take so long?"

Xia Tingwan took the bag from the convenience store in Su Yan's hand, and when he touched Su Yan's finger, he felt very cold.

"The driver's stomach is not feeling well," Su Yan sighed and said, "I drove off and took him to the community clinic for some medicine, so I waited a while longer."

Xia Tingwan looked up at Su Yan.

He took a light breath, held Su Yan's cold hands, and placed them on his warm face.

Su Yan froze for a moment and looked down at him.

"Su Yan," Xia Tingwan closed his eyes and murmured, "You are so kind."

His mood was so complicated that even the language suddenly became awkward.

Sometimes two people are too close and too close, and over time, they will forget each other's good.

Those little bits and pieces in life will be too familiar and commonplace, and seem insignificant.

But when lost it and suddenly remembered it, whole heart trembled.

Five years ago, Su Yan and Xia Ting ate at a Japanese restaurant. They ordered so many dishes that the table couldn't fit.

Later, when she asked for the king crab, the waiter girl was going to hold down the sukiyaki pot, but there was a problem with the door of the box, and she always closed it by herself.

When Xia Tingwan didn't notice the little girl's embarrassment, Su Yan walked over naturally, held the door of the box with one hand, and then stood there patiently waiting for the little girl to finish all the dishes in the back. , and then sat back with a calm expression.

Even Su Yan didn't know about such a trivial matter. Xia Ting went home late and thought about it quietly for a long time.

Su Yan's goodness is a gentleness without sharp edges, an instinctive warmth towards people.

Without the slightest intention, he himself did not feel the need to be pleased with it.

But Xia Tingwan looked at it and felt that this man had an indescribable charm.

The environment where he grew up was ferocious at first, and then when he came to his stepfather's side, although there was no more violent beatings, it became vulgar and boring.

The stepfather was rich, and Zhang Xueqiao also acted like a rich wife, yelling at the servants at home every day, and Xia Tingwan thought they looked boring.

At the age of eighteen, he was restless, bored, and confused.

His nature is not bad, but it seems that he has never learned how to care about others.

But beside Su Yan, he gradually felt that he could also learn to be so gentle.

Su Yan loves watching movies, so a screening room was specially designed in Xiangshan's house.

The high ceiling is to put down the huge screen, and the top-level subwoofer is also installed to pursue a movie viewing experience close to the cinema.

But the movies that Xia Tingwan chose did not have Blu-ray discs, and Xia Tingwan thought it was too scary to watch horror movies with such a good effect and such a large screen, so Su Yan took him back to the master bedroom.

Xia Ting ate two small sips of wine-flavored Haagen-Dazs by the bedside.

But after Su Yan also got close to him, he immediately dug out a large spoonful, and hurriedly handed the spoon to Su Yan's mouth.

Su Yan was stunned for a moment, and seemed a little surprised.

"It's inconvenient for you to hold the ipad," Xia Tingwan whispered, "I'll feed you."

Just after saying the last three words, he himself blushed a little.

Su Yan hesitated for a while, but still obediently opened his mouth and took a mouthful of ice cream.

The neat and restrained man's mouth was stained with a little rose-colored ice cream, and Xia Tingwan stretched out his fingers to help him gently wipe it off.

His heart was thumping, and there was a kind of green turmoil.

After a while, Xia Tingwan couldn't help feeding Su Yan again.

After Su Yan had eaten, he turned his head and asked in a low voice, "Why do you eat so little? Didn't you ask me to buy it?"

"I ate it." Xia Tingwan hurriedly lowered her head and mumbled in a panic.

He never liked sweets.

But in any case, he was too embarrassed to say it. In fact, he just wanted to buy Haagen-Dazs because he wanted Su Yan to eat it.

His concern, awkward, seems a bit superfluous.

He was so tossed that Su Yan ran out late at night, his hands were cold, and in the end it was like a willful temper that he used to have in the past, and he was guilty and nervous.

But when feeding Su Yan, he really felt strangely satisfied.

Su Yan looked at Xia Tingwan with a complicated expression.

But he didn't say much, just turned off the lights, and clicked on the movie while holding the ipad.

The two were lying side by side under the covers as before, and in the darkness, the movie started slowly.

"Strange Talk" tells the story of three strange things that happened at An Sang Hospital in Seoul, South Korea during the colonial period in 1942.

The first story has a kind of beautiful strangeness, a young and lonely intern falls in love with the corpse of a beautiful girl.

He put a ring on the cold girl, and the girl's soul will accompany the doctor silently since then.

This is a really weird story.

A ghost marriage.

The wedding is in a dream, and the beautiful spring, summer, autumn and winter seem to flow through frame by frame.

Doctor fucks ghost wife

give birth

, in the blink of an eye it was like a lifetime.

But after the extreme romantic night, the ghost wife sent the doctor back to the world.

Time flies, and decades later, both wives and children have left the doctor.

His face is wrinkled, and he is old.

Holding the photo album, he said sadly to the girl in the sailor suit sitting across from the bed, "If you left me from the beginning, why did you take me away again."

The girl with the same face stuck her head out and hooked the old man—

The old man's fingers then gradually dropped, and he finally went with her.

In a trance, he seemed to have turned into a boy again.

Xia Tingwan looked at it in a daze, ordered a Marlboro, and smoked slowly.

In the darkness, the firelight at his fingertips seemed to have a trace of loneliness.

"Are you afraid?" Su Yan asked softly beside him.

Xia Tingwan shook his head, he didn't feel terrible, just a little uncomfortable.

He quietly rested his head on Su Yan's chest, Su Yan did not speak, but naturally took the cigarette from his fingers.

Su Yan's arms wrapped around Xia Tingwan's body, and then he lowered his head and took a breath of cigarette, and slowly spit out the smoke ring.

Xia Tingwan turned her head and looked at Su Yan.

There was some bitter nicotine smell, and for a moment, Xia Tingwan thought they would kiss just like that.

The movie continues.

The last story is almost maddeningly sad.

A male doctor gradually discovers the strangeness of his wife.

There is no shadow of his beautiful wife, they go for a walk by the sea, but there are only a row of footprints on the sand.

Despite this, he still loves his wife.

He gently stroked his wife's face and said don't leave me.

But this isn't actually the truth.

The person who died was not the wife.

A year ago, in a medical accident, her husband died unexpectedly.

In order to make herself believe that her husband is still alive, a wife who is too sad turns herself into her husband's personality.

She would rather die than herself.

The woman who was pointed at by the gun lost all reason to live after the truth was revealed.

In the heavy snow, she pierced her throat with a long needle, and when she fell down, she murmured: I am so lonely.

At the end of the story, three stories and three deaths all intersect at the same moment.

Ansheng Hospital was demolished, and in the heavy snow, lonely souls left one after another.

From life to death, from the world to the underworld.

That murmur is so lonely, but it seems to be echoing all the time.

...

Xia Tingwan didn't realize that she was crying.

It wasn't until he spoke that he could hear the cry from his choked voice: "Su Yan, why... I don't understand."

"Can a person really love to such an extent? Love so much that he would rather kill himself subconsciously than admit that the living person is actually himself?"

Su Yan was silent and did not answer.

Xia Ting raised his head late, only through the reflection on the ipad screen could he see Su Yan's face in a blur.

Su Yan's expression was painful.

His eyebrows were slightly frowned, and although he was trying his best to cover it up, the intense pain could almost overflow from his eyes.

"I know."

Su Yan's hoarse voice sounded in the darkness: "I understand-because living alone is more terrifying than death. I didn't understand it before, but later, after the car accident, I understood."

Xia Ting looked at Su Yan blankly.

After the divorce, it was the first time he heard Su Yan talk about the car accident.

He subconsciously wanted to hug Su Yan, but was suddenly pushed away roughly by the man.

"That night, when I arrived, your face was covered in blood, lying on the steering wheel, and the car was full of blood... It was terrible, I thought, I thought..."

Su Yan's voice was getting lower and lower: "On the way to take you to the first aid, I was terrified, and I thought every second, if you were gone, what would I do, what should I do? My hands were cold, and it was difficult to walk. Walk crookedly."

"For a second, I really hated you, really, it wasn't the kind of hatred that came from love, or the real, deep-seated hatred. I was thinking, if you are so cruel, why should I still fall in love with you. Why don't you let me die-"

When Su Yan said that, he punched the bedside table with a "bang", and he almost squeezed out the next words word by word from between his teeth.

"I died and left you in this world, will you have any regrets? After meeting you and falling in love with you, I thought I would never be alone again, but you almost gave me another one People left alone... Tingting, I was so scared that night, do you know? "

——

"After a car accident, you're always in a lot of pain. There are so many bruises on your body, it hurts a little bit, and the wound on your face... I, I'm so distressed, and sometimes I even feel not only distressed, but all parts of my body are sharp pain."

Su Yan took a few deep breaths, it seems that because of the tragic memory, he felt very difficult for such simple words.

I don't know when the autumn rain started outside the window, and a few drops of rain fell on Xia Tingwan's face along the gap of the bay window.

"Your pain seems to be magnified several times and grows on me. I... I can't wait for myself to be in trouble. It's me who can't get out of the hospital bed, and it's me who hurts my face. The more distressed I feel, the more I see you. I get more and more angry when I see you. I'm angry with you, and I'm also angry with myself. When I saw you during that time, I felt this way over and over again in my heart, like being run over by a truck. Those days, really the pain."

Su Yan's emotions seemed to gradually calm down from his excitement, his voice became smaller and smaller, and finally he was almost babbling.

"Tingting, why do you want to hurt yourself? You know I can't stand it. Are you angry with me? The days with me make you unhappy, right? So you don't even have your own life. I cherish it. I want to ask you this question every day, but I can't always ask... Maybe, I am afraid of knowing the answer myself."

Xia Tingwan shivered and leaned over to wrap her arms around Su Yan's neck, and stammered: "Su Yan, no, no, I'm not unhappy, being with you is my happiest day. I'm sorry... Sorry, I really don't know what I've done."

He suddenly thought of the time after the car accident.

He fractured his left forearm and his right hand was badly bruised, so he couldn't take care of himself.

One day, Su Yan was feeding him fish fillet porridge one bite at a time. He was drinking and drinking, and suddenly became agitated. Without saying a word, his arm overturned the bowl with force.

That kind of behavior is of course unreasonable, just because he can't do anything, so he is so depressed that he wants to vent.

He always vented on Su Yan, so that time, he didn't feel any difference.

Su Yan's suit was stained with a lot of white porridge, but he was not angry. He just looked at him quietly, and after a while, he suddenly asked: Tingting, do you hate being with me?

For a moment, he felt that Su Yan's eyes were so sad.

But he didn't take it to heart at that time, but turned his head with a cold face and lay down with his back to Su Yan.

In the ward, the walls are all gray and white, and there is a faint smell of disinfectant.

Su Yan was behind him and whispered, "Go to sleep, Tingting, I won't disturb you anymore."

Thinking of this, he could no longer restrain the remorse in his heart, sobbing and crying.

Su Yan shook his head and pushed him, but maybe he was afraid of hurting his legs, so he pushed lightly this time.

As Xia Tingwan cried, she clenched her teeth and hugged Su Yan even tighter, until the man in her arms stopped struggling, and then she pressed her forehead tightly against Su Yan's forehead with tears in her eyes: "Su Yan, I I'll never do that again, I'll never hurt you again, I'm sorry...I really regret it, you trust me, okay?"

His language is clumsy, but his movements are stubborn.

Perhaps because he couldn't escape, Su Yan finally hugged Xia Tingwan's back with his backhand.

Their bodies hugged and shivered slightly, until the temperature of the two seemed to melt together.

There were only the two of them in the empty room.

Only the sound of rain.

In the lonely night, the wind moved the music box of nature, and the somewhat lonely music spun round and round.

Tumble, tick, tick.

Xia Tingwan and Su Yan leaned against each other's ears and whispered softly, as if every word in their mouths was a whisper to Qiu Yu.

"Tingting, it's not that I don't believe you, but I'm still very scared." Su Yan whispered.

"Why?" Xia Ting asked late in Su Yan's ear.

"I'm afraid of my feelings for you, which I can never control... My yearning for you."

Su Yan murmured: "It's embarrassing to say it, but I'm very happy when you come back to live."

"If you don't think about it, you'll be really happy. I like you to be by my side. I can't deceive myself, probably, can't deceive you? Even if it's just holding you, taking care of you, watching you eat something you like. But when I think about it, I feel a kind of fear creeping into my heart little by little, I don't know where I should go... It's like walking back and forth in an alley, and it's dark at either end."

"I want to stay with you. It's very satisfying to just stay together without doing anything. Tingting, I know what you want, but maybe I'm not ready now, so I can't give myself one. The answer. I don't even want to think about it I don't want to think about anything that has to do with the word feelings, and I don't want to think about our relationship, and as soon as I think about it, I become so cowardly that I can't stop myself from wanting to run away. Impulsive. Can you forgive me...?"

Su Yan raised his head when he said this. In the darkness, the corners of his eyes were a little red, and he asked softly tentatively, "Maybe you... can you wait for me?"

Xia Tingwan's heart trembled.

He had never seen such a weak and pitiful look in Su Yan's eyes, like an old cat who was cornered and raised its tail.

He was so stimulated by the pain of the past that he wanted to escape, but instinctively grabbed the corner of his clothes.

Su Yan misses him.

Su Yan still loves him.

Xia Tingwan leaned over and pressed Su Yan on the bed.

His feet made his movements a little awkward, but Su Yan didn't struggle.

Xia Ting kissed Su Yan late, the hesitant man's lips were a little cold.

"Su Yan."

He rubbed Su Yan's brows with his fingertips and said softly, "It's fine for us to stay together, you don't have to think about anything, you don't have to think about it, relationship is not important to me at all. If you want, we can Do a lot of intimacy, kissing, sex... everything is fine, I really miss you, you know? But I won't ask you for any commitments and decisions, and you don't have to be stressed. We have a lot to say from our hearts , talk about the past, and the future; I will make a good movie, and then go to the cinema with you to watch the premiere, everything, let's take it slow, okay?"

Lu Xiangnan told him that he was going to pull out all the whiskers of the cat for Su Yan.

But he was reluctant.

He had already forced Su Yan into a corner, but Su Yan's sudden fragility made him reluctant.

This man was already bruised and bruised, and now all his desires were just to stay in the shell for a while, how could he have the heart to force him out.

So he waits.