In a plain word, only we know how hard it is, I said, "Welcome back!"
Zhou Buwen said in a low voice, "The same sea breeze, the same reef, and the same people, the light that was missing in my heart has finally been filled again."
I let go of Zhou Buwen, patted him on the shoulder arrogantly, and said with a smile, "Don't worry, Jiang Yisheng and I have always been here."
Zhou Buwen asked tentatively, "What are you thinking about sitting here alone?"
I said perfunctorily: "Think about something. Let's go, it's getting dark, it's time for dinner."
I stood up and swept my gaze, and inadvertently saw a familiar figure standing on the cliff in the distance, and then I looked closely, but there were only lush anti-wind trees and crocus trees. I stared at the cliff, Zhou Buwen followed my line of sight and asked strangely, "What's wrong?"
I smiled, "Nothing. Let's go!"
Chapter6 Would you like to be my boyfriend
In the face of the reality of chai, rice, oil, salt, sauce and vinegar tea, I didn't even have the courage to start! But I plan carefully for the future, what's wrong?
There was a popular saying on the Internet: Every girl will meet a scumbag when she grows up. I scoffed at this and thought it should be changed to: Every stupid girl will meet a scumbag when she grows up. A girl like me, who has no illusions about love and is completely unlovable, can never fall in love with a man she shouldn't love.
I never imagined that, many years after my formative years, I would face such a predicament one day. Although Wu Julan is not a scumbag, but if he likes him, the final result is probably not much better than liking a scumbag.
I know very clearly that my feelings towards him should not be correct or correct, and I wish I could pull out all the feelings that grew in my heart and burn them to death, just like pulling out the wild and burning waste paper. However, the feeling that has occurred is not the wild roughness in the flowerpot, which can be pulled out if it is said to be pulled out; nor is it the scrap of paper in the wastepaper basket, which can be burned if it is said to be burned. The only thing I can do is to use reason to restrain and dilute it until it disappears little by little with the passage of time.
I have always thought that there is no eternity in this world. If we have to say eternity, the only eternity in the universe is that everything will disappear with time.
Whether it is a love story or a vow; whether it is a mountain or a sea; even the earth we are on, the sun that illuminates us, the universe that holds everything, as long as there is enough time, it will eventually die and disappear.
Since even the seemingly eternal things like the sun and the universe can disappear with time, what is my insignificant feeling?
I'm confident that it will go away if you give me time.
Although I wanted to get rid of the undeserved feeling in my heart, I didn't plan to drive Wu Julan away, not only because I promised to help him through this unfortunate time, but also because Wu Julan didn't make any mistakes at work. . It's my own fault that I like him, and I can't punish him for my own mistakes.
I decided to use a gentle way to distance Wu Julan and play down my feelings.
First, I started paying him. Because Wu Julan has multiple jobs, his salary must be higher than that of a waiter. He will be paid 2,500 yuan for food and housing for a month. In terms of money, I have made it clear that I and Wu Julan are in an employment relationship, and everything is worth the money.
Again, I'm less casual when I talk to him. Use "please", "trouble" and "thank you" in everything, and be as polite as possible. I know very well how murderous this is because my stepfather did this to me. My stepfather studied in the UK for many years, and he transferred all the etiquette of the British nobles to their servants to me. Always polite, always polite and polite, he seems to be so gentleman and polite, but every move, every word and deed reminds me - he is the master, I am an outsider living in his house, there is always distance, never in the same class .
In the end, I tried my best to avoid being alone in the same space with Wu Julan. If I had to tell him something, I would also stand at the door, say it in a polite and polite tone, and leave immediately. Keeping distance is always the best way to resolve ambiguous feelings.
I believe Wu Julan noticed my change immediately, but he didn't care at all, it was as if I had treated him like this from the beginning, and was still indifferent and indifferent.
I clearly made a decision to kill my feelings, so I shouldn't care about his reaction, and I should even be happy about his indifference. But seeing with my own eyes that he didn't care and didn't care, I felt very uncomfortable, and even felt a sense of disappointment and shame.
Is every woman so contradictory in love?
Trying to ignore the other party, trying to draw a clear line, but finding that you have been ignored by the other party, you will feel very sad and unwilling.
In the midst of my conflicts, my attitude towards Wu Julan became more and more strange. Not only Wu Julan, but even Zhou Buwen and Jiang Yisheng noticed it, Zhou Buwen just watched coldly and didn't ask more, but Jiang Yisheng couldn't hold back.
One night, four of us had dinner together. When I said "please trouble you" to Wu Julan again, Jiang Yisheng frowned and said, "Did you two have a quarrel? If you have any unpleasantness, just say it carefully, don't hold it in your heart. You are so awkward, even me feel uncomfortable."
I immediately denied it, "No! Can we have any conflict? Shouldn't I be polite?"
Jiang Yisheng stared at me, expressing his disbelief.
"There is really no contradiction. If there is a contradiction, Wu Julan would have left early. It's not a good place for me. If I'm not happy, I'll stay. Is that right! Wu Julan?" I looked at Wu Julan for confirmation.
Wu Julan raised his eyes to look at me, his eyes were as usual, calm and deep, and turbulent. However, I felt a chill in my heart, knowing that I was fighting myself, and maybe it was also Wu Julan.
Wu Julan said lightly to Jiang Yisheng, "There is no contradiction." After speaking, he lowered his head and ate in silence.
My heart throbbed and hurt, but I didn't look at Wu Julan at a glance, and I deliberately talked and laughed with Zhou Buwen, chatting about embarrassing things when I was a child, and talking about where it was fun, and seemed very happy.
I once read a sentence in a book, "Women are born actors". I couldn't understand it before, but now I finally understand it. Every time I deliberately hurt Wu Julan, I was actually more uncomfortable than him, but I always acted like I didn't care at all.
After dinner, when Jiang Yisheng was going home, I dragged him and whispered, "Do me a favor."
Jiang Yisheng followed me upstairs and into my bedroom, and found that the curtain rod of one window had come loose. It's not a technically difficult job, but two people must hold the pole together and maintain the level before it can be installed.
After the curtain rod was installed, Jiang Yisheng jumped off the table, pushed the table back to its original position, and said, "Aren't you and Cousin Wu arguing? You don't want to ask him about this, but you want to come to me?"
I leaned against the window and said nothing.
Jiang Yisheng said bitterly: "You don't have many relatives. I think Cousin Wu treats you well. People should cherish happiness, don't overdo it!"
I said dully: "He is not my cousin at all, and I have no blood relationship with him."
Jiang Yisheng was stunned for a moment, and said, "No wonder I always think something is a little strange, but because I decided that you two are brothers and sisters, I haven't really thought about it. You, you..." He showed a sudden realization and asked in shock: " Are you...are you?"
I knew what he was going to ask, looked out the window at the night, and admitted frankly, "I like him."
Jiang Yisheng sighed and said, "Cousin Wu is very good, but I have always hoped that you would like the big head."
I said bitterly, "I wish I could like the big head too!"
Jiang Yisheng asked in confusion, "What's the matter with you? Cousin Wu is not a jerk. I like it if I like it. What's there to worry about?"
I hesitated for a moment and said, "He lied not only about his cousin's identity, but also about his occupation. He didn't go to college at all, and he didn't even know how to type on a computer at first. How did he know how to program?"
"He turned out to be a liar!" Jiang Yisheng got angry, rolled up his sleeves and wanted to beat someone.
I hurriedly grabbed him, "Wu Julan didn't lie to me! The first time I saw him, he was a penniless man. I asked him about his education and work, and he told the truth, no diploma, no Work."
Jiang Yisheng looked at me in shock as if he was listening to the Arabian Nights, "You mean, you picked up a làng man to go home?"
Jiang Yisheng touched my forehead and murmured, "Xiaoluo, you don't have a genetic history of mental illness in your family! How could you do something that a lunatic would do?"
"I'm not crazy, I know what I'm doing! You haven't tasted homelessness, and you'll never understand us..." I knocked off his hand, expressing that I didn't want to dwell on this issue any more, "Even if you come again Once, I'll still do it!"
Jiang Yisheng asked, "Have you seen his ID card? If you know where he is from, I can find a way to check him for you."
I felt a little guilty and said hesitantly, "He said...no ID card. I don't know if he lost his ID card, or... a black household, who doesn't have an ID card at all."
Jiang Yisheng knocked on my head and said angrily: "Maybe he is a wanted criminal! After killing people and stealing goods, they came to us."
I pursed my mouth and looked at Jiang Yisheng, as if to cry or not.
Jiang Yisheng's heart softened immediately, and he quickly comforted me and said, "I scare you! Wu Julan doesn't seem to be a bad person. If he were a bad person, he would have finished all the bad things that should have been done. But... Xiaoluo, you clearly know his situation, why? Would you still like him? Is this kind of person suitable for marriage?"
I turned my head and said in a low voice, "I just know that I shouldn't like him, so it's painful!"
Jiang Yisheng patted my shoulder and sighed, really not knowing what to say.
I lowered my head and said sadly, "It's more miserable to fall in love with such a person than to fall in love with a scumbag!"
Jiang Yisheng said with relief: "Okay, okay! Isn't it just liking! Look at my girlfriends, they all rushed over to me regardless at first, chasing after me to say love, love, but when they arrived at my house, they saw Both my father and my grandmother gave up, proving that it is not difficult for a woman to give up a period of feeling. Since you know it is not suitable, just give up! "
I gave Jiang Yisheng a punch, dumbfounded, "Are you comforting me or scolding me?"
Jiang Yisheng said with a smile: "No matter what it is, as long as you are happy."
I said, "I'm fine, go home quickly!"
The two were too familiar with each other, so I only sent Jiang Yisheng to the stairs, "Remember to lock the courtyard door for me."
Jiang Yisheng said, "Don't be uncomfortable, there is someone waiting for your favor!" After that, he pointed to the room at the other end of the corridor.
I raised my foot and tried to kick Jiang Yisheng, "Go away!"
Jiang Yisheng quickly took the flip-flops off my feet and threw them hard, hitting the door of Zhou Buwen's room. While yelling, I jumped on one foot to pick up my shoes.
Zhou Buwen opened the door and asked with a smile, "What happened to you?"
Jiang Yisheng laughed and rushed downstairs, "I'm leaving, you guys have a good chat!"
Zhou Buwen and I stood at the door and chatted for a while before returning to our room. After taking a shower, putting on the mask, and watching TV for a while, I lay down on the bed, ready to go to sleep.
Jiang Yisheng said that it is not difficult to give up a feeling, and I used to believe so, but now I am not sure. Because I found that the more suppressed my feelings for Wu Julan, the more vigorous it seemed.