Chapter 85

Cheng Yan accompanied Song Yu to the psychological club.

In the afternoon, they took a leave of absence and drove to a far away place. The clubhouse was open. Cheng Yan came here for the first time.

The clubhouse is clean and tidy, and there are people entertained at the door. Cheng Yan and Song Yu entered the door and saw a few psychiatrists dressed in casual clothes. The service staff came to pour water for them and asked them if they had an appointment. Song Yu told the situation and the person would contact them. A psychiatrist in charge of Song Yu was appointed.

The doctor said to them, "Come in and sit."

Cheng Yan followed Song Yu in.

I came to a small room. The floor-to-ceiling windows have a vast view, which is more suitable for people to relax. There are green plants, sofas by the window, hourglasses and medical records on the table.

The psychiatrist was sitting on the opposite chair, about forty years old, looking at Song Yu, his voice was middle-aged, "How are you doing?"

Song Yudao: "It's okay, except for the sleep problem."

"Having trouble sleeping?"

Song Yu nodded: "I don't know why."

The psychiatrist said: "There must be some reasons..." He was about to continue when he saw Cheng Yan next to him. This job is usually a one-on-one consultation, which is not suitable for others. The doctor raised his hand and gestured. Song Yu.

Song Yu glanced at Cheng Yan, "It's okay, he knows everything."

He can't know everything, just know a little, Cheng Yan stood up obediently and didn't disturb them, lest the doctor drive him out. He also wanted to know more about Song Yu's situation, so that he could have a better understanding of himself. what can be done.

The doctor continued: "Okay, if there is a problem with sleep, it must be an emotional problem. What happened recently?"

Song Yu thought for a while: "No."

The doctor chuckled: "What about the little things?"

Song Yudao: "It's nothing."

This is the psychological club. In front of him are people who are doing psychological counseling. If Song Yu remains silent, it will be difficult to continue. The doctor can see through it, but he has a bottom line. He continued to ask: "When did it start?"

"Did you say sleep?"

The doctor nodded.

"It's been a while."

"more specific."

Song Yu thought for a while: "Probably... around the 17th of last month."

The doctor looked at the time, "It started on the 17th. You only came to see me now. How have you been these days?"

Cheng Yan thought to himself, it's really serious, that's why he asked Song Yu to come, otherwise he treats himself like no one all day, how could he get better?

"Sit down." The doctor said, "It should be a long chat."

When the doctor was chatting with Song Yu, Cheng Yan listened beside him. He didn't say a word. He acted as a transparent person. He listened to the doctor asking about Song Yu's current situation. From their conversation, Cheng Yan learned some "violent fantasies". crux.

Excitement and disappointment can easily lead to violent complexes. Song Yu has been in control recently, much better than before, but suddenly there is a big problem with sleep. This situation has lasted for more than a month. What did Jiang Heng say? ? He has a complex condition combined with bipolar and depression, so when he attacks, he is not only violent, but occasionally he is inexplicably depressed. It should be like that now, but can't find the reason, and Song Yu's mood is suddenly like this. According to him, Nothing major or minor happened, it was quite calm, which made Cheng Yan a little confused.

Later, the doctor chatted with Song Yu about some unrelated topics. Cheng Yan didn't understand how those unrelated topics had anything to do with his condition. For example, did his parents call him and whether he passed the exam, but Cheng Yan didn't dare to ask more. People who engage in psychology are quite mysterious to him. They have their own way of coaching others, which outsiders don't quite understand.

Song Yu talked and laughed with the doctor, and he couldn't see any problems with him. This made Cheng Yan think about those people who suffer from depression. Are they acting normal and getting along well with their classmates? Well, laughing in the eyes of others, suddenly one day he died of depression and suicide?

He has heard too many cases like this. Seeing Song Yu calmly explaining the current situation, Cheng Yan is really worried. Yes, he is afraid that those tragic and terrible things will happen to Song Yu. Song Yu thought he would be afraid before, but it was not It didn't make sense, he was really afraid, he was afraid that Song Yu would suddenly break out one day, not to hurt him, but to hurt himself.

Chatting and chatting, Song Yu and the doctor turned their heads to look at Cheng Yan from time to time. Cheng Yan was flattered and didn't know where to put his eyes. Showing a slight smile.

They chatted like this for half an hour, and Cheng Yan waited for half an hour until Song Yu stood up and reminded Cheng Yan, "Let's go."

Cheng Yan snorted, stood up quickly, and was about to follow, when the doctor over there suddenly said, "Wait, can I have a word with this handsome guy?"

Song Yu frowned.

Cheng Yan was also surprised.

The doctor explained: "Don't get me wrong, it has nothing to do with his condition. I don't think his face is very good. He must have some emotional problems, right?"

Song Yu looked at Cheng Yan's face and didn't think so.

But the doctor spoke, and he couldn't say anything.

The doctor added, "What I'm asking is quite private, so don't listen to me."

"It doesn't matter, he doesn't have to keep secrets from me." Song Yu said.

Cheng Yan pushed him and said, "No, you go out, I won't let you hear."

Song Yu allowed him to listen to him, but Cheng Yan didn't allow it. He felt a little unbalanced in his heart and was kicked out. Song Yu was pushed to the door: "Then I'll wait for you outside."

Cheng Yan nodded: "Yes."

After Song Yu walked out, Cheng Yan turned his head and looked at the doctor inside the table. The doctor smiled and said, "I'm sorry, you look fine, so use this method to send him away."

"I see it." The doctor gave him a wink just now, Cheng Yan thought he was wrong, and then the doctor raised his question, and Cheng Yan probably understood.

Cheng Yan guessed: "Is it about him? Is there anything I can't tell him?"

Song Yu is the protagonist, is there anything he can't hear? Cheng Yan could not imagine what it would be.

The doctor said: "It's not that he can't hear it, it's that he doesn't seem to want to tell me. I've been talking to him for so long, and the others around him have no problems. To be honest, it's unlikely. People don't get excited for no reason. And loss, there must be some point that you didn't find supporting, or aroused your emotions, so there must be something happening around him, he doesn't want to say, I want to ask you, you should have a good relationship with him Recently, I see that when he talks about you, he is in a more relaxed state, and stability makes people relaxed, do you know what happened to him recently?"

"Recently?" Cheng Yan thought for a while: "Nothing."

"What about before then? You can push it forward, no matter how big or small, you can say anything that comes to mind."

Cheng Yan really couldn't think of it. After the two of them reconciled, they have been very calm and smooth, and there were no disputes or contradictions.

Seeing that he couldn't think of it for a long time, the doctor reminded: "On the 17th of last month, about the 17th, or before the 17th, you can think about it carefully."

Cheng Yan recalled the things around Song Yu last month. At that time, the two of them were a little ugly, and then they made up. Then today, today is still a little abnormal. When the new assistant came, Song Yu He still finds it strange now. After realizing this incident, Cheng Yan's mind suddenly opened. There was a big event that was being ignored by him. It was before they reconciled, and it was something that indirectly caused their conflict. That didn't happen after they made up, before the 17th!

"There is a girl who is dead." Cheng Yan came to his senses, yes, there are traces to follow, Song Yu's reaction, when the new assistant came today, what did Su Su call her? Tingting? Song Yu frowned and asked what his surname was at the time, indicating that in his subconscious this matter had not yet passed.

did not pass.

The doctor was quite shocked, "Someone died?"

Cheng Yan panicked. He realized that this must be the reason, and explained to the doctor, "Well, a girl from our school jumped off the building."

"She has something to do with Song Yu?"

"She likes Song Yu and wrote many diaries for him. Before she died, she sent a curse letter to Song Yu..." Even if it's a curse message, it doesn't make any difference. Those bloody words are still echoing in Cheng Yan's mind. , "That girl has schizophrenia. It seems that she was treated here as well. Her name is Tan Tingting."

The doctor thought about it for a while, but had no impression: "It's not my responsibility, there should be information from others, but what do you mean by saying that she sent a curse letter to Song Yu?"

Cheng Yan recounted it truthfully, and she had mixed feelings when she remembered it, "She knew that Song Yu had an obsession with red, and the day she jumped off the building, she wore red clothes, saying that she would let Song Yu remember her forever and turn into a ghost to haunt him. kind of words."

The doctor thought thoughtfully: "Did Song Yu see her death?"

"I don't know." Cheng Yan really didn't know, Song Yu didn't say it, Tan Tingting told him the time and place, did Song Yu go? Have you witnessed it? Or take it as a joke and ignore it?

Cheng Yan hoped it was the latter. He couldn't forget the appearance of Tan Tingting's death now. Don't let Song Yu see that bloody look.

"Then... how did he react to this girl's death, or to those curse letters?"

Cheng Yan clenched his fists, "No, he said he didn't care, but Tan Tingting's death made his mood fluctuate a lot..."

It was too big to break up with him, too big to avoid him, Cheng Yan didn't want to think about those days again, it was not a bad day at all, and it was not comfortable at all.

"I really don't care, if it doesn't affect me, there is no way that my emotions will fluctuate so much," the doctor sighed, "It's still a shadow, and now I've found the reason."

During the conversation between the two, there was a knock on the door, Song Yu opened a gap and asked inside, "Is it okay?"

Cheng Yan looked back, he didn't come in, he knew what to do.

The doctor whispered, "I can't do anything about it. It's entirely up to him, but if he doesn't want to mention it, it's up to you friends."

"I don't know what to do." Cheng Yan wanted to do something, but didn't know what to do.

The doctor said helplessly: "There is no specific method, to eliminate these psychological shadows requires self-healing ability and external comfort, but no one can give an accurate answer on how to do it, just say to comfort him as much as possible, not to mention This matter, but to wear away the impact of this matter on him."

Song Yu pushed open the door, "I'm in."

Cheng Yan glanced at him and was quite worried. The doctor smiled and said, "Okay, let's go here and go back."

The doctor didn't talk to Cheng Yan any more. He said everything that should be said. In the end, there were only suggestions and no way.

Outside, Song Yu asked Cheng Yan if he was okay.

"No, it's not a big deal." Cheng Yan was absent-minded, Song Yu was next to him, and he could instantly feel the abnormality.

"What's the matter?" Song Yu said, "Looks like he's lost his mind."

"Ah?" Cheng Yan touched his face: "Oh, nothing, let's go back to school."

Song Yu originally wanted to take him to eat, but he hadn't eaten yet, but Cheng Yan was unwilling. He said he was sleepy and wanted to go back to take a nap. Song Yu agreed.

After returning to the dormitory, Song Yu always felt that Cheng Yan was not quite right, but thought whether Cheng Yan was not resting well, and asked him to go back to sleep first. Song Yu also went back to the dormitory, because he was the only one in the dormitory because of the leave of absence. .

He wanted to accompany Cheng Yan, but Cheng Yan said he wanted to take a nap, so Song Yu could only lie on the bed in the dormitory alone.

He couldn't sleep well, and he couldn't fall asleep even when he lay on the bed. He simply unplugged the computer and brought it up. Poor rest would also affect the state of the class. Just like now, he couldn't concentrate his energy even if he wanted to read some materials.

I looked sleepy. closed eyes for a while and woke up again. My eyes were sleepy, but mind was in a mess again. Every day over and over again, the tormented person became insane.

At five o'clock in the afternoon, Song Yu left the dormitory. He contacted Cheng Yan and wanted to take him to dinner, but there was no reply to the message. Song Yu felt strange, and no one answered the phone. He went to Cheng Yan's dormitory to find a People, only a few people who just returned from shopping.

Qu Tao said: "He's not here, he asked for leave in the afternoon." He only knew that he was asking for leave, but he didn't know what it was for.

Song Yu asked, "I know he asked for leave, but he should be back. Didn't you see him?"

"I wasn't there when I came back." Qu Tao said, "It's empty."

Song Yu knew it, and learned from them that Cheng Yan didn't go to class when he came back in the afternoon, and he wasn't in the dormitory. He didn't answer the news or answer the phone. Song Yu was vaguely worried.

Because he didn't find Cheng Yan, and Song Yu didn't go to dinner, he couldn't think of where Cheng Yan went. It wasn't because he was overly concerned, but because he didn't reply to calls and text messages at the same time, which was abnormal. Cheng Yan didn't like to play missing. people.

Could it have something to do with the doctor's conversation in the afternoon? Shouldn't there be a problem with Cheng Yan?

Song Yu was not at ease during the whole night of self-study.

"Song Yu," the female classmate shouted, "Can you show me the second set of test papers? Mathematics."

Song Yu came back to her senses, took one out of a stack of papers, and passed it on. Before the teacher spoke the papers, the top performers in the class would check the papers first. They did not wait for the teacher to speak, but referred to each other. Can correct the problem.

The floor where the third year of high school is located is quiet, everyone is making the last struggle for their future, and the number of days on the blackboard is shrinking, which has put enormous pressure on the students, reminding them that the war is imminent.

Song Yu is a very complicated character in school. His grades are top-notch. He is not partial to any subject. Every subject is outstanding and stable, but in everyone's impression, he never thinks he is an academic tyrant or a stereotype. The impression made them unacceptable to be with a group of gangsters. Before Han Chengyu didn't drop out of school, the two of them colluded every day, causing many people to think that Song Yu was difficult to get along with, cold and terrible.

Now that they are about to graduate, there are still many people in the class who are not familiar with Song Yu, and they seldom speak.

Song Yu's life focus has never been on his classmates. He is indeed a little cold, and he admits that, but he will not make changes. Socializing requires quality. He can make many friends, but he is a nodding friend. He doesn't need too many friends, so he doesn't want to spend time on these unnutritious things. He already has quite a few friends who really get along well.

School is a platform for youth and a pathway to different paths in the future. Some people hope to make friends here, and some people just want to rush to a certain goal.

Now Song Yu has only one goal left, the college entrance examination and university.

After the evening self-study was over, he returned to the dormitory to continue fighting. Song Yu was waiting for the news. After the evening self-study was over, Cheng Yan still did not reply to his message, and he became impatient.

Came to the balcony to make a phone call, but the result was the same, no one answered.

What the hell is going on?

Song Yu was about to go out to find someone, and a message entered the phone that was hung up.

- I'll be waiting for you at the arena.

It was Cheng Yan's message. Song Yu glanced at it and felt that something was wrong. He didn't have time to reply to him, so he went out with his cell phone.

It's half past ten at night.

There is no one in the arena.

People who do extra training will not do it at this time. Exercise will make people excited, and it is not easy to fall asleep. One day's study is already tired enough, so everyone goes back to rest early. The arena was pitch-dark, and even the lights were not turned on. The venue was large. Song Yu turned on a light, and the scene in front of him became clear.

He didn't see Cheng Yan's shadow. After returning to play, Cheng Yan, who disappeared, didn't know what he was doing. Song Yu turned around and didn't hear any movement. He seemed to have entered the trap set up by the bad guys. Confused.

"Cheng Yan?" Song Yu shouted his name, his voice echoing in the arena, and the sharp rubbing of sneakers on the floor.

When Song Yu was walking around alone, there was a little movement from the corridor, "Here."

Song Yu looked for the voice.

There was a head sticking out from behind the wall. It was Cheng Yan. He didn't know what he was doing. He hid behind the wall with only one head exposed and looked at him dodgingly.

"What are you doing?" Song Yu stepped over, but before he could get close, the people behind the wall were startled and called to stop.

"Don't come here..." Cheng Yan lowered his head and glanced at him. He seemed to be very nervous, his expression was not natural, and his tone was a little flustered: "Wait a minute."

He hid behind the wall.

Song Yu waited quietly, he was very anxious, anxious to ask what Cheng Yan was playing with him and disappeared, causing him to worry. He had experienced such a feeling once. God knows how much Song Yu's emotions will be fluctuated by not being able to contact him?

However, when he saw Cheng Yan, he couldn't question him, he couldn't say anything, and he was not willing to blame him. Song Yu felt that he was dreaming. Is the person in front of him real?

Cheng Yan, who came out from behind the wall, was wearing a red skirt. The bright red color aroused strong emotional fluctuations in Song Yu's eyes. The skirt did not drag the floor, but covered his thigh. On, the front is short and the back is long, and the two slender and straight legs are exposed to the weak light. The clothes are extremely inappropriate for a boy of 1.8 meters, but it is precisely because of the excellent height condition that the bright red skirt The pendulum rubbed against the skin, making the legs even more attractive, the knee slammed on the other knee, and even the standing posture was unnaturally shy.

Cheng Yan's face was crimson, and his arm gently hugged the other arm, as if to protect his body, or to block the scenery under the suspenders. He didn't have long flowing hair to match this skirt, but it was precisely because In this way, Song Yu could see every subtle shy expression on his face clearly.

"What's this for?" He lowered his head and looked at the embroidered shoes on his feet, and the emotion in his eyes grew stronger.

"Does it look good?" Cheng Yan raised his head and was held by Song Yu's arm. The two hid behind the wall, his back was against the wall, and he asked unconfidently.

Song Yu replied, "Why do you want to do this?"

Why are you wearing this dress? Why learn from Tan Tingting? Why make yourself like this? These are all doubts, he can guess some, but he can't believe that a boy is willing to do this for him.

"I don't want you to think of unhappy things when you see red, I want you to think of me, I want you to see the red that excites you, it's not the curse, it's me, Tan Tingting can't stay in your heart, can't influence Your life and state, when you see red, blood, sadness or excitement, it's all about me, okay?" Cheng Yan held Song Yu's arm and felt a burst of emotions, "Song Yu, tell me I... I'm beautiful this way, you'll remember."

You will remember the bright red skirt, the bright red embroidered shoes, and the color that excites you. It can only be me, and it can only be me when you think of it.

Song Yu held the tight waist and pressed it on Cheng Yan's shoulder, her voice trembling: "You are really beautiful."

It was so beautiful that he was suffocating. It was the first time he saw such a beautiful red color, and I am afraid he would never forget it in his life.

Cheng Yan smiled and said sadly: "No matter what Tan Tingting said to you, you can't remember her, you can only remember me, you can't put others in your heart, and you can't be influenced by others for so long. I will be jealous, I will be unhappy, miss me, okay? When I can’t sleep, when I’m feeling down, when I want violence, think of me, it’s nothing to be afraid of, you see, red is beautiful, and it’s also on me It's beautiful, isn't it?"

Song Yu closed his eyes and pinched the waist. He didn't know why Cheng Yan knew about it. Knowing how much he was tossed by the bloody scene during this time, he always felt that there was a ghost in red around him. He always felt that Tan Tingting's curse had come true. He dreamed at midnight and woke up at midnight, as if someone was whispering in his ear, trying to drag him into the abyss of loneliness.

Fortunately, it is fortunate that he has him by his side, and it is fortunate that there is such a vigilant young man beside him, Song Yu's eyes are hot, the redness of the corners of his eyes spreads, and his pupils are dyed red by Cheng Yan's skirt, he tried to ask for more, Take all your emotions out on him.

——

There was no one else in the conference room at eleven o'clock. The skirt of Cheng Yan, who was being carried up on the table, was lifted. Song Yu resisted the urge to shred the bright red skirt, and just held his chin firmly, forcing him to open his mouth.

"Open your mouth."

Cheng Yan opened his mouth and looked at Song Yu's red eyes that seemed to be dyed.

His tongue slammed into his lips, and Cheng Yan did not retreat. Holding Song Yu tightly was his only support. The waist wrapped tightly by the skirt fell into Song Yu's palm, and it didn't matter if it hurt. He was in a strong mood now, and the pain in his waist was nothing.

Similar to a dream, but different from a dream, heavy breathing echoed in the quiet room. The sling on Cheng Yan's shoulder slipped and hung on his shoulder. Charming is not a word to describe a teenager, so what other words could be used instead? to describe? His seductive criminal look.

"I think I will definitely have sexual violence against you," Song Yu's blue veins bulged, her fingertips almost digging into his flesh, "Don't tempt me to go deeper, in the future."

He couldn't hold it, his whole body was boiling with blood, and his clamoring instincts and emotions tried to oppress Song Yu's last nerve defense.

"I do," Cheng Yan lay on his shoulders, squinting, a little confused, he took Song Yu's hand and went down his waist, biting his clothes and groaning: "I am willing to satisfy you."

He wanted to change the pain.

His waist was pinched so badly.