Chapter 1 Her Name is Ji Ran

I used to think that liking is just me, and I don't need her to respond. As long as I know that I like her, I am willing to pay for her unconditionally. That's fine. But it wasn't until later when I saw her smiling at another person and acting coquettishly at another person that I realized that feelings are not a person's self-feeling. I still can't face her intimacy with others calmly. Indifferent to this, I am a greedy and petty person.

Ji Ran

Ji Ran is 26 years old this year. He has just graduated from college and entered a good company. He has never experienced the hardships of looking for a job, nor the tiredness of working overtime after work. She is usually quite leisurely, and her colleagues in the unit are also very easy to get along with. There is no intrigue in the workplace, and her life is quite comfortable.

Although Ji Ran has never been in a relationship since childhood, he secretly liked someone for a long time in his heart. Even though the years have passed, he still feels a little bit of pain in his heart when he thinks of it, and then it spreads to the whole body. Meridian bones.

Ji Ran thought, how beautiful Yan Qing is at the age of seventeen. She is pure and graceful in a clean white dress, and it has been imprinted into her heart with just one glance. At that time, she was also young and naive, and she naively thought that liking someone was a lifetime, and they would definitely be together forever and never be separated.

But the reality is very cruel, Ji Ran has long understood the gap between her and Yan Qing before she has been beaten by the society.

When he saw Lu Ming for the first time, Ji Ran wondered how such a handsome boy could be born to be better-looking than a girl.

Lu Ming stretched out his hand to Ji Ran generously, smiling brightly, "Hello, I'm Lu Ming, Qingqing's boyfriend, let's play together in the future."

Ji Ran stared blankly at the slender, fair-boned hand, and shook her head for a while. She turned around and walked to the classroom without a word, leaving the two of them far behind.

Yan Qing smiled at Lu Ming a little embarrassedly, and hurriedly chased after Ji Ran before he could explain anything.

Yan Qing caught Ji Ran at the door of the classroom and reached out to hold her cold fingertips, but Ji Ran broke away and returned to his seat with a blank expression.

From then on, Ji Ran knew that he could no longer deceive himself. She likes Yan Qing, and it has already surpassed the liking among friends.

The young heart is always in turmoil, and it may really be just a legend for a long time. Not long after Yan Qing and Lu Ming were together, the two broke up.

After breaking up, Lu Ming sat alone on the playground stand and cried a lot, and happened to be seen by Ji Ran who passed by accidentally.

Looking at Lu Ming's crying red slightly soft eyes, Ji Ran actually felt a little funny.

Lu Ming is really the most beautiful boy she has ever seen. This pear flower with rain really makes me feel pity.

Ji Ran stepped forward and handed the tissue to Lu Ming, patted him on the shoulder as if connected with his life, and sighed, "Don't cry."

After hearing this, Lu Ming flattened his mouth, tears still rolling in his eyes, but he really stopped crying.

It was this accident that Ji Ran and Lu Ming gradually became good friends, and eventually even became buddies. This incident often makes Ji Ran sigh, who said that a rival in love and a rival in love would definitely be inseparable?

Life has been going on, Yan Qing later made two boyfriends, but it didn't take long for them to break up.

Ji Ran has been silently by Yan Qing's side, never far away, and can't get close.

Until the day of high school graduation, everyone drank a lot, and Ji Ran was no exception.

Ji Ran, whose face was flushed with the drink, pulled Yan Qing, who was a little unsteady, to a corner where no one was standing, plucked up her courage and embraced her, her pink lips slowly approached her ear, and said softly: "Qingqing, four years in college, I will wait for you to come back. If you are willing to come back for me, I will assume that you want to be with me too. No matter what kind of wind and rain there is ahead, I will hold your hand and walk together. down."

Yan Qing didn't say a word, just raised his arms around her waist and put all the weight on Ji Ran's body. The soft body was mixed with the fragrance of cold and wine, making Ji Ran's eyes more and more blurred.

Later, Ji Ran really waited for Yan Qing for four years. No matter how many outstanding men and women she met during that time, she never had the slightest heartbeat.

And she really waited for Yan Qing, but unfortunately, Yan Qing didn't come back alone.

Even now, Ji Ran can still clearly recall the scene at that time.

Yan that day

clear

She wore a white dress, her long hair swayed in the wind, and her face was as pure and beautiful as ever.

In Ji Ran's memory, Yan Qing didn't seem to have worn other colors. She liked white so much, just like her whole being, clean and clear.

Ji Ran looked at the familiar face in his memory and walked away quickly, suppressing the turbulence in his heart.

The moment he received the call from Yan Qing, Ji Ran said to himself that this time, he would never be separated from her again, and she would always be with her.

"Qingqing." Staring at Yan Qing who was close at hand, Ji Ran's heart was full of thousands of words, all condensed into this low and shallow call.

"Of course, I'm back." Yan Qing smiled softly, with a gleam of joy in his eyes.

It's been four years, and they haven't seen each other for four years. Whether it was intentional or not, they seldom contacted each other, and even if they did, they only talked about irrelevant topics, never involving their own lives.

"Of course, I brought someone to see you." Yan Qing looked at Ji Ran in a daze, as if he had never left in the past four years, but he left after all. I still remember that in the year of graduation, Ji Ran's hair was just shawl, but now it is waist-length.

Hearing Yan Qing's words, Ji Ran's smile gradually disappeared, and his beating heart instantly calmed down.

Yan Qing, who do you want me to meet again this time? Don't you really understand what I mean?

When the atmosphere between the two was a little condensed, a man ran out of the convenience store next to them and ran straight towards them.

"Hello, you are Ji Ran, I'm Lu Jiang, Qingqing's boyfriend, I often hear her talk about you." The man ran to Yanqing's side, stretched out his hand to Ji Ran with a smile, and hit him enthusiastically. Say hello.

Looking at the man in front of him, staring at the man's outstretched white, slender, well-joined hand, Ji Ran felt a trance in his heart, as if he had changed back to his seventeen-year-old self.

That year, there was also a boy with a bright smile who extended his hand to him, but at that time he walked away without any reason.

Ji Ran chuckled softly, and for a moment people couldn't hear the emotion in it. She reached out and held the slender hand in the air, "Hello, I'm Ji Ran, it's a pleasure to meet you." The attitude was polite and distant, giving people an indescribable sense of distance.

When Lu Jiang wanted to say something, Ji Ran's cell phone rang, Ji Ran looked down and saw that it was Cheng Cheng.

Although Ji Ran put his heart on Yan Qing after meeting her, but before that, Ji Ran had many good friends. Some friends alienated her because of Ji Ran's behavior, while some friends still had deep feelings. Cheng Cheng was one of them, and she never cut off contact with Ji Ran.

"Hey, Chengcheng? Well... Yes, the things are at my house... Since you're in such a hurry to use them, I'll go home and bring them to you. Don't worry, it won't delay your affairs." Ji Ran just wanted to leave here quickly. After saying these words to himself, Ji Ran hung up the phone directly.

"I'm sorry, Chengcheng's things were forgotten. I have to send them to her right away. I'm so sorry, let's get together again when we have time." Ji Ran apologized to Yan Qing and the others.

However, Lu Jiang waved his hand cheerfully, "It's okay, if you have something to do, hurry up and do it, don't worry about us, you say yes, Qingqing."

Yan Qing looked a little unhappy, as if she was complaining that Lu Jiang stole her words, but she nodded reluctantly after all.

"Then I'll go first, bye." Ji Ran said goodbye to the two with a smile, turned around and hired a taxi to leave.

Yan Qing looked at the taxi that was leaving, feeling a little uncomfortable. Lu Jiang shrugged, stepped forward and hugged her shoulders with a smile: "Qingqing, please invite her to dinner next time."

Yan Qing only smiled reluctantly after hearing this, and his eyes couldn't help but stare in the direction where Ji Ran left. Only this time, she didn't catch up, just let her leave alone and disappeared from her sight.

Four years later, as expected, everything has already changed.

Ji Ran, who was sitting in the taxi, called Cheng Cheng back and listened to Cheng Cheng's complaints quietly, but his mind drifted into the distance.

She knew that Yan Qing would eventually become the past for her. She had never had her, but had already lost it twice. From the moment Lu Jiang appeared, all her persistence was destined to be a self-moving joke.

She didn't blame Yan Qing, she just hated herself. I hate myself when I know I can't do it but have delusional thoughts, and I still can't let go even if I hate it.

But how to let go? Over the years, loving her has become a habit, who can change the habit overnight?

Nestled in the back seat, Ji Ran's eyes were already red, she told herself not to cry, but she was already crying, "Chengcheng, don't ask, I'm fine, I'll treat you to dinner another day, okay? , I'll hang up today."

After speaking, no matter what Cheng Cheng said over there, Ji Ran hung up the phone again.

The moment he got home and closed the door, Ji Ran slid powerlessly along the wall and sat on the cold floor.

Ji Ran wanted to cry, but his eyes were dry and could not shed a single tear; he wanted to shout, but he couldn't make a sound when he opened his mouth. She felt as if a huge hole had been torn open in her heart, and the cold wind was pouring straight into it, making her cold all over, and couldn't help but want to hug herself tightly.

Ji Ran bent her legs and buried her head in her knees. At this moment, she was like a little beast trapped in a desperate situation. She could only hug herself pitifully, but there was no way out.

Ji Ran sat motionless on the ground for an afternoon until Ji's father and Ji's mother came home.

I still remember the surprised look of Mother Ji when she saw her precious daughter sitting on the ground, but she was as smart as she did not ask much. Ji's mother just stepped forward quietly and hugged her daughter into her arms.

The moment Ji Ran was embraced in her arms, tears welled up in Ji Ran's dry eyes, and it didn't take a moment for Ji Ran's clothes to be wet.

Ji Ran clenched her mother's clothes tightly and whimpered in a low voice. The repressed cry was the grievance she had endured for many years, the anguish she couldn't tell others, and the helplessness she had intertwined in many days and nights. with despair.

Father Ji stood aside and frowned when he saw his daughter crying so mournfully and forbearably. He leaned over and put his hand on her shoulder, giving her strength silently.

Feeling the silent care of his parents, Ji Ran gradually calmed down. She rubbed her cheek in Ji Mu's arms, "Mom, I want to eat braised pork."

"Okay, let's go watch TV. Mom will do it for you now." Ji Mu smiled and rubbed Ji Ran's head softly.

"Well, I'll go wash my face first." Ji Ran wiped his face, lowered his eyes slightly and dared not meet his parents, and walked to the bathroom with his head lowered.

"Lao Ji, come to the kitchen to help me." Ji's mother looked thoughtfully at the background of Ji Ran's departure, and walked to the kitchen.

Ji's father shook his head and sighed, then turned around and followed the figure of Ji's mother.

Ji Ran looked at himself in the mirror in the bathroom, and couldn't help but feel grateful to his parents in his heart. Fortunately, they did not ask questions at this time, did not open her hideous scars again, and did not expose her frailty to the sun. Fortunately, they did not.

in the kitchen.

"Lao Ji, what's the matter with you? I've never seen her cry so sadly." Ji's mother, who was warm and elegant just now, is now chopping green onions, as if she wanted to make her daughter so sad. The guy ripped off.

"Hey, I don't know either. It's not like you don't know that the child has a heavy heart and hides deeply. He couldn't ask anything since he was a child, and even his friends were reluctant to take them home to play, for fear that we would ask them about something." Ji Father sighed and looked at Mother Ji helplessly.

Ji's mother also sighed deeply, she understands Ji's father's powerlessness. Her own daughter knows that since she was a child, she has the temperament of not fighting or robbing, and she has not shown much interest in anything. If it sounds good, she lives in her own world. Don't look at her always putting a smile on her face, always calling her uncles, aunts and uncles affectionately. Everyone she sees is kind and gentle. In fact, she never put anyone in her eyes, let alone anyone Take it to heart.

Ji Mu also wondered whether there would be one person in this world who could make her care. It seems that this person is afraid of appearing. It's just that I can make my daughter sad like this, and I'm afraid it won't be possible in the future.

Ji's mother sighed again, "Lao Ji, if she doesn't want to say something during dinner later, don't ask more."

"Don't worry, my children and grandchildren have their own blessings, so I won't take care of them too much. When she's older, she will take care of her own affairs." Although Father Ji loves his daughter, he will not interfere too much in her life. If she wants to She said that she was willing to listen, but she didn't want to, and he would never ask more.

at the dinner table.

"Mom, the braised pork you made today is delicious." Ji Ran couldn't see the sadness at all except that the tip of his nose was slightly red.

"Eat more if you like it." Ji Mu smiled and took a piece of braised pork for Ji Ran with chopsticks and put it in her bowl, "You don't need to keep it for your dad."

"Mrs. Ji, don't be so biased. When you have a daughter, you will forget your husband." I saw Ji's father hurriedly put a few pieces of braised pork into a bowl, and even protected the bowl in front of his chest, a pair of food protection appearance.

Ji Ran couldn't help being amused by Ji's father's actions, and chuckled softly.

After seeing his daughter's smile, Ji's father and Ji's mother looked at each other, and a faint smile appeared on the corners of his mouth.

The days slipped away from my fingertips like water, and in the blink of an eye, another four years have passed.

In the past four years, Yan Qing and Ji Ran have been in touch with each other from time to time, but Ji Ran has deliberately alienated each other. If you don't love, why bother.

Even so, whenever Ji Ran thought about Yan Qing, his eyes would turn red.It's enough to cry for her once in her life. In the years to come, she will live for herself, whether crying or laughing, it is only for herself.

The author has something to say:

This is the first time to write an article, if there is something that is not in line with reality, please bear with me.

Every character in the author's pen is a child. If there is something you don't like, please lightly spray it, thank you very much.