This page looks best with JavaScript enabled
Chapter 53
Chapter 53
Zhou Ziheng never thought that Xia Xiqing would come.
Despite Xu Qichen's repeated lobbying, Zhou Ziheng didn't think that Xia Xiqing would really open up his wounds for the so-called "liberation". After all, for him, indulging in the false beauty of the present, he could control the love of others as he wanted. It's easier than letting go of the past and loving yourself.
Zhou Ziheng hadn't slept all night that morning. He actually regretted that he would say such a thing at the moment, but it was more sad than the impulsive words that were out of control. Xia Xiqing probably didn't mind at all.
I don't mind who he cooperates with, who really suits my taste.
So when Xia Xiqing really appeared, Zhou Ziheng's heart beat a beat.
Xia Xiqing walked over to him, raised his hand and took off the hair tie at the back of his head, his hair scattered beside his cheeks. His eyes looked at Zhou Ziheng, but when he actually walked in front of him, he turned his face and put the script in the hands of Xu Qichen, who was sitting beside him, without looking at him.
Standing beside Zhou Ziheng, Xu Zixi felt inexplicably nervous when he saw Xia Xiqing, he bowed slightly and stretched out his hand towards him, "Hello, I'm Xu Zixi."
A very gentle smile appeared on Xia Xiqing's face, and he held Xu Zixi's hand back, "Xia Xiqing." His voice was as soft as a cloud in the sky, "You just played really well."
An unstoppable cloud.
"thanks, thanks."
He smiled and retracted his hand, without looking at Zhou Ziheng from beginning to end.
"Then Xiqing will try it again?" Director Kun said, his tone full of encouragement, "Don't be nervous, let's see how it feels."
Everyone knows that Xia Xiqing is not a professional acting person. He can't even be linked with the word actor, so his expectations are naturally not high. Even Kuncheng, who thinks he fits the role of Jiang Tong, knows that image and temperament is one thing, acting is another.
Xia Xiqing didn't make any preparations. He walked up to the machine, his smile narrowed a lot, and he introduced himself simply and clearly, "Hello, everyone, I'm Xia Xiqing."
After the introduction, he walked out of the door step by step, took a deep breath, and closed the door.
Looking at the closed door, Xia Xiqing's heart began to panic. He didn't know why he came here. Is it really necessary for him to recall those pains for his ridiculous self-esteem?
Memories are terrifying things. They can erode Xia Xiqing's senses in an instant. As long as he doesn't avoid them, they will appear openly and recklessly. Xia Xiqing felt that his eyes were starting to lose focus, and the door in front of him seemed to have changed shape and color.
It became the dark blue door of his bedroom when he was a child. He tried to touch the doorknob with his fingertips, but there seemed to be a hole in his heart, and a black viscous liquid seeped out from the inside, little by little. The dots poured out, wrapping the heart firmly, oppressing every heartbeat.
Breathing becomes difficult. Xia Xiqing withdrew his hand and tried hard to convince himself.
He wasn't the one locked in the room this time.
He's going to save the kid in the room.
The crisp thumping sound from the hotel room was like a strong hint of hypnosis. Xia Xiqing's hands began to tremble uncontrollably, and the past that he did not dare to recall were all overturned, with the black blood gurgling out of his heart.
[If only you hadn't been born, if I hadn't given birth to you, my life wouldn't be like this! ]
[How did I give birth to a son like you? Are you as mentally ill as your mother? Why don't you die! ]
Xia Xiqing raised his hand and knocked on the door twice like a walking corpse. His hand was in the air, and he tapped twice.
If only someone had come to save him in the first place.
His hands began to tremble. In order to continue, Xia Xiqing pressed the wrist of his right hand with his left hand and knocked hard on the door, going over and over again, faster and faster.
Until the door was slammed open, Xia Xiqing took a breath in an instant, the breath was on his chest, his lips were slightly opened, and he slowly let the breath out.
He felt a little trembling all over.
He didn't watch the actor who was in the show, and he walked quickly to the little girl's side with dodging eyes, grabbed her, and protected her in his arms. The actor seemed to think that Xia Xiqing was an amateur actor and wanted to help him get better, so he specially cooperated with him in his performance, and he suddenly pulled Xia Xiqing's arm, "You are fucking sick!"
Xia Xiqing didn't look back, grabbed his arms and hugged the little actor who was standing stupidly and walked out the door without saying a word. The actor who took the role was stunned for a moment. This was completely different from the previous audition, but he quickly reacted and took two steps to grab Xia Xiqing's arm, "What are you doing! Put her down for me!"
Being dragged by him like this, Xia Xiqing staggered, took a few steps back, stretched out his hand to protect the girl's head, and walked out without saying a word.
His legs were a little weak, trembling slightly, his teeth were clenched tightly, and he was pulling with the girl's "father" for a long time. I wonder if the hand holding the little girl was a little sore, and everyone noticed that his arms were shaking.
The girl's "father" cursed a few words, grabbed a chair beside him and was about to slam it on it. Xia Xiqing didn't have time to hide, and squatted down with his arms around the little girl.
Zhou Ziheng's heart stopped suddenly, and he rushed up without thinking. Originally, the actor smashed it after a long distance, just to borrow a seat, but Zhou Ziheng was in a hurry and didn't grasp the measure. Standing too close, the arm is smashed by the leg of the chair. His brows twitched tightly all of a sudden, hitting hard.
He was afraid that the actor would be in the play because of his injury, so he reacted very quickly to push him away, and stretched out his hand to pull Xia Xiqing.
Xia Xiqing, who was pulled up, just lowered his head and hugged the little girl, took two steps, and put her down.
When he was scolded by that "father" just now, Xia Xiqing was brought back in almost a second. He felt a burning pain on his body, like the kind of pain from hitting a golf club. The hysterical quarrel of his parents kept appearing in his mind, and he was locked in the room, crying and slapped the door until his palms were swollen.
No one rescued him. No one came to rescue him.
Xia Xiqing's eyes fell on the little girl, her eyelashes trembled and her eyes were a little sloppy. He squatted down, pulled down the hem of the girl's wrinkled clothes with his hands, and flattened them, then reached out and gently pushed her messy hair behind his ears, and gently touched the girl's face.
He tried to squeeze out a smile, and the moment the corners of his mouth were pulled apart, his teeth unconsciously bit the inside of his lips. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he took the little girl's hand and wrote two words stroke by stroke on her palm with his index finger. .
Not only to this child, but also to my former self.
There were not many strokes, but Xia Xiqing wrote very slowly, his fingers trembled so badly that he paused for a long time for each stroke, and each stroke was extremely difficult.
[Don't be afraid. ]
With the last stroke, he slowly closed the small palm, formed a small fist, put it into the pocket of the little girl's red coat, and patted the bulging pocket lightly.
Looking up at her, his brows suddenly wrinkled.
The little girl's face turned into the helpless little self back then.
The little one was covered in wounds, and his bright black pupils were filled with confusion and despair.
His whole body began to tremble, Xia Xiqing didn't dare to look, he lowered his eyes slightly, suddenly became extremely timid, his shoulders shook uncontrollably, and even the young actor was too frightened to speak.
Zhou Ziheng, who was standing on the side, finally couldn't stand it any longer, his patience had reached the limit. No longer caring about the script, Zhou Ziheng squatted down and put his hand on Xia Xiqing's shoulder.
It was so quiet here, but Xia Xiqing could hear the piercing cry of the young man, his voice was deafening.
Beg for mercy, cry for help, sob, be silent. A little bit of exhausting energy.
[Is there anyone outside... can you open the door for me...]
[It's so dark... I'm afraid. ]
haven't seen you for a long time.
It turned out that you were so afraid at the time.
Xia Xiqing raised his eyes, his eyelashes trembled slightly, he tried to look directly at the little girl's face, clenched his posterior molars, stretched out his arms and hugged her. That little body was so soft and fragile, Xia Xiqing didn't dare to exert force, but his arms were shaking uncontrollably. He was afraid that he would hurt her and that he would not give her courage.
Afraid that she is still afraid.
Finally, a teardrop that had nowhere to hide slipped from his clear pupils, and Xia Xiqing closed his eyes.
Don't be afraid.
Maybe... these are all over.
"Cut!"
This slap of the board gave everyone who was hanging a breath an opportunity to release. The performance just now was completely different from the previous audition. There were no skillful lines, and there was no explosive crying scene, but everyone's emotions were aroused, and their hearts were hanging, and they were extremely uncomfortable.
Xia Xiqing opened his eyes and took a few deep breaths before letting go of the little girl. The little girl stretched out her soft hand and wiped his face, her voice was tender and innocent.
"Brother don't cry."
Xia Xiqing laughed.
"My brother is acting, he's not really crying." He stretched out his hand and squeezed the little actor's face very lightly, "I'm not sad at all, are you sad?"
"a little bit."
Xia Xiqing smiled and hugged the cute little actor, and softly repeated her words, "A little bit..."
The smile on his face was extremely fragile in Zhou Ziheng's eyes, like the brilliance reflected by the crystal a second before the fall.
Xia Xiqing let out a long sigh of relief, turned halfway and grabbed Zhou Ziheng's arm, which happened to touch the place where he was hit by the leg of the chair just now, Zhou Ziheng hissed in pain.
"What about your professionalism?" Xia Xiqing's voice was cold, and Zhou Ziheng couldn't understand his current mood.
He just wanted to hug him, especially if he gave him a chance.
Xia Xiqing let go of his hand and stood up, smiling at Director Kun. Before the surprise on Director Kun's face faded, he also stood up and walked to Xia Xiqing's side.
"Your performance just now is completely at the level of a professional actor." He smiled in disbelief, "You really haven't studied acting?"
"No. This role is a bit like me, let's play it in my true colors." Xia Xiqing's emotions were too fast, and he couldn't fully recover. He twitched the corners of his mouth and tried his best to keep a decent smile, "Director, excuse me, I'll go. go to the bathroom."
Kuncheng nodded and watched Xia Xiqing leave the hotel room. He turned and sat back in his chair. The producer beside him said, "Do you think Xia Xiqing played better? His last tear was really too much. It's amazing. Give a close-up, it must be very shocking to see it on the big screen. He doesn't need to cry and shout, and he grabs the hearts of the audience all at once."
The producer seems to have picked up a treasure, analyzing his skills with great devotion, how he controls the timing of tears falling, how to control the magnitude of tremors, and which angle is suitable for this face. The more he talks, the more excited he is.
It wasn't until he finished the last sentence that Kun Cheng slowly shook his head.
"He's not acting at all."
Kuncheng found that Xia Xiqing didn't look at the actor who played "father" during the whole process. It was a subconscious avoidance out of fear. He was too afraid to look at it and dare not resist. In fact, a person suffering from depression will not cry out loud, and Xia Xiqing may understand that feeling better.
The most terrifying thing was that he didn't dare to see the little actor he had been protecting.
This wonderful "performance" really sublimated at the moment when he looked directly at the young actor at the end.
These are all unplayable.
Xu Qichen clutched the script tightly and did not speak. Zhou Ziheng was right, he was indeed too cruel. When he didn't see Xia Xiqing really cut himself apart, he had been standing in the God's perspective of a bystander, and out of the original intention of helping, he forced him to recall those terrible pasts.
He couldn't help but feel a little regretful and began to doubt himself.
He didn't know whether he was helping him or hurting him.
Xia Xi washed his face and put his hands on the sink. He tried his best to get out of his emotions, but it was not easy.
"How are you?"
It's the newcomer's voice.
Xia Xiqing changed his smile in an instant, straightened up and pulled two pieces of paper to wipe his hands, "It's good." He crumpled the paper and threw it into the wastebasket, his eyes fell on Xu Zixi's handsome face.
"I..." Xu Zixi's expression was a little hesitant, "I want to know why you acted like this? I mean, how did you conceive it? Because after I got the script, the feeling that he should especially want to protect that Little girl, and he was very sad..."
Although he was very unclear, Xia Xiqing fully understood what he meant, and he took a step closer.
"It's actually quite good for you to act like that." Xia Xiqing patted Xu Zixi's shoulder, then dropped his hand and put it in his pocket.
"He did want to protect the little girl, but he was more afraid. More afraid than the child."
Xu Zixi's eyes were full of doubts. Xia Xiqing just smiled bitterly, his voice slowly sinking like a stone thrown into the heart of a lake.
"It's a good thing not to understand. Your childhood must have been very happy."
Just as Xia Xiqing was about to leave, there was another person at the door of the bathroom, and his chest was clenched in an instant.
I don't know why, he can laugh at anyone at this moment, except Zhou Ziheng. As long as he saw Zhou Ziheng's face, he wanted to tear himself apart and show him the ugliest and most disgusting side of him.
Self-defeating, for no reason.
"Zixi, I want to talk to him alone." Zhou Ziheng walked in with a very polite tone, "If it is convenient for you..."
Seeing Zhou Ziheng, Xu Zixi immediately responded and was about to go out, "Well, you said, Brother Xiqing, thank you, I'll go first."
Xia Xiqing didn't say a word, he leaned his back on the sink with his eyes down. Zhou Ziheng didn't speak, grabbed his arm and took him to the innermost compartment of the bathroom, closing the door.
The cramped space tried his best to compress his emotions, and Xia Xiqing felt that his temples were jumping. He didn't know what was wrong with him either, but when he thought of Zhou Ziheng calling the newcomer "Zixi" just now, calling himself the word "he", he felt unreasonably annoyed.
But the annoyed gesture is too inelegant.
Xia Xiqing licked the corner of his mouth and looked at Zhou Ziheng with a mocking expression, "Don't I have a name?"
Zhou Ziheng was stunned for a moment before he reacted. He tried to explain, "I think calling him by his full name is too serious, and it will make him misunderstand that I am pressure from a senior."
"So what?" Xia Xiqing looked into his eyes and said, "Don't I have a name?"
Seeing him like this, Zhou Ziheng's heart was empty. He wanted to call him Xi Qing, or even a more intimate title, but he didn't have the right position.
"You pulled me in, but didn't speak." Xia Xiqing put his arms around his chest and raised his eyes frivolously, "Could it be that you want to do it now?" He didn't know who he was speaking these harsh words to. Can't control myself at all.
If your emotions are out of control, there is no way to resolve them, so use another emotion to cover them up.
Xia Xiqing raised his chin, and the arc of his neck stretched with a fragile beauty.
"Do you think I did a good job just now?" There were still drops of water on his cheeks, "Do I look good when I cry? Does it make you feel protective?"
A series of torture brutally hit Zhou Ziheng's heart.
Seeing Zhou Ziheng's brows getting tighter and tighter, the knuckles of his clenched fist turning white, Xia Xiqing had an inexplicable sense of accomplishment, as if angering Zhou Ziheng would bring him great pleasure.
He sneered, and pressed the wet strands of hair to his cheeks, "Do you have pity on me? You pity me so you want to do it with me?"
"How about a kiss first?" Xia Xiqing was close to him, and the lips that had just been bitten were glowing brightly.
Zhou Ziheng finally couldn't help it and pushed him against the wall.
The stone thrown into the center of the lake is finally about to fall, to the silent and cold bottom of the lake. Xia Xiqing lowered his eyes, but was embraced by Zhou Ziheng, holding him tightly in his arms.
He frowned in astonishment and wanted to push Zhou Ziheng away, but he hugged him even tighter.
"I'm very angry now," Zhou Ziheng's voice trembled a little, obviously holding back his emotions, "but I'll recover in a while."
Xia Xiqing was stunned, his voice was hollow.
"You're angry... why are you still hugging me?"
"Otherwise you will run away, and I will regret it after I calm down, I don't want to regret it." Zhou Ziheng's arms were tighter.
After a moment of silence, only each other's heartbeats could be heard. Zhou Ziheng's hand loosened slightly, he took a deep breath, "I'm not angry now." The hand slowly moved up, rubbing Xia Xiqing's head, the palm was unbelievably warm.
It takes courage and patience to hug a rose.
I know those thorns will pierce into the skin and into the blood. It doesn't matter, give me a minute, I will pull them out, and the pain will soon be relieved.
But I still want to hug that rose.
Zhou Ziheng finally said what he wanted to say to him from the beginning, and kissed his hair tenderly.
"Don't be afraid, Xi Qing."
"I am here."