Chapter 76 Primordial Pain

A sudden thank you made Xia Xiqing's ears warm. There was something in heart that wanted to say, but didn't know where to say it.

Zhou Ziheng grabbed his shoulders, pushed him to turn over, hugged him from behind, his chest was against his back, and he pushed forward a little bit, "Huanya Group... It turns out that our brother Xiqing is a big brother. Young master, if I had known you were so rich, I would have let you take care of me."

Every time Zhou Ziheng called his brother in a teasing way, Xia Xiqing took his elbow and turned him in the stomach, "I can't afford you, Young Master Zhou."

"You can afford it." Zhou Ziheng kissed Xia Xiqing's head from behind, "I don't need money to go to bed with me, can I still pay for it?"

Xia Xiqing turned his head and raised his eyebrows at him, "You ask me to come and I will give you money."

Zhou Ziheng held his face and kissed his lips awkwardly, "I'll post it upside down." After speaking, he pushed Xia Xiqing's shoulders and walked forward, wanting to quickly change the topic.

I don't know when he will give up this idea.

This villa is not small, and the furniture inside is covered with white cloth. At first glance, it seems that no one has lived in it for a long time. This scene reminds Zhou Ziheng of the first time he and Xia Xiqing recorded "Escape from the Sky". There are also many furniture covered with white cloth. , gorgeous and deserted decoration.

"I'll take you upstairs to go shopping." Xia Xiqing said nothing emotional, which made Zhou Ziheng a little worried, he already knew Xia Xiqing enough, the less emotional he was, the deeper he was hiding.

But all Zhou Ziheng could do was to hold his hand tightly and accompany him.

The living room on the first floor has been elevated, with a space of about four meters high, so the stairs are also very long. Book. Xia Xiqing dragged Zhou Ziheng's hand and walked up step by step. Seeing that he was always on the bookshelf next to him, he said, "I used to sit on this staircase and read books when I was young. Sometimes when I get tired, I lean here and fall asleep."

As soon as he imagined that scene, the corners of Zhou Ziheng's mouth twitched involuntarily.

I really want to see him as a child, he must be the best looking and cutest kid in the class.

Zhou Ziheng was dragged up to the second floor by Xia Xiqing. There was a deep corridor on the second floor, very much like an art gallery in an art gallery. It was dark beige, and there were ten paintings hanging on the opposite wall. There was a room in the middle. Xia Xiqing tried to open the door, but it was not locked. He felt a little surprised and turned on the light at the door of the room.

"This is my mother's collection room." Xia Xiqing opened the door, stood beside the door, Zhou Ziheng glanced at it, it was a very large room, and when I entered, I found that there was still a room inside it, and there were various The picture frame, covered with cloth, is as big as a person.

"Are these paintings?"

"Yes." Xia Xiqing nodded, thinking about the opening of the art museum that Xi Hui told him last time, Xia Yunkai didn't take these collections with him, and probably left them to him, but he didn't make a special trip because he didn't care. Ask someone to keep it and just leave it in the old house.

Yes, he hated his mother so much, and he hated himself so much, he probably wanted to burn them down when he saw these paintings.

"My mother came from an artistic family. My grandfather was a famous sculptor when he was young, and my grandmother was a famous oil painting artist. Born into such a family, my mother naturally became an art connoisseur and collector."

Xia Xiqing lifted the dusty cloth on a painting, "She regrets her failure to become a painter all her life, that's not right," Xia Xiqing smiled bitterly, "It's a pity, it's a resentment, she doesn't have the talent for painting. , After trying for many years, it has been mediocre, but she can distinguish the quality of the painting at a glance, and she has discovered many painters who were not famous at that time."

As this story continues, Zhou Ziheng can already guess the follow-up, "So, after your mother gave birth to you, she discovered your talent."

Xia Xiqing gently rubbed the frame with her fingers, "She just found a life-saving straw."

A deadly poison was also found.

He patted his palm and turned to another painting, "She felt that I inherited the talent of my grandparents across generations, so she forced me to learn painting since I was a child. At that time, I was only four or five years old. I don't understand, I'm locked in a small room every day with only paintbrushes and paints."

It looks colorful, but it's actually dark.

"At that time, I didn't want to learn, and I kept crying, so she scolded me and said things I couldn't understand at the time. At that time, the relationship between her and Xia Yunkai also became worse and worse, quarreling every day, even fights."

For this so-called father, he still can't say it, and can only use his name instead.

There was an abrupt dressing table in the collection room. Xia Xiqing paced to the mirror and stared at himself in the mirror.

In Zhou Ziheng's eyes, Xia Xiqing's body always has a distinctive temperament, which is a delicate sense of fragility. When he is quiet, he is like a piece of white porcelain without any flaws, beautiful and fragile. But as he himself said, even if a work of art is broken, it is still a work of art, and every broken edge of his is shining with beauty.

"Why did they get married?" Zhou Ziheng leaned against the door frame, "Marriage?"

The marriage between the art world and the business world is not uncommon in this circle. Although people in the art world are often aloof and cannot see the businessmen who are covered in copper, the economic foundation determines the superstructure, and the art circle that burns money is indispensable support.

"No, my grandfather couldn't look down on Xia Yunkai at that time." Xia Xiqing looked down at the dressing table, there was no makeup on it, but there were many delicate ornaments the size of palms, which should have been placed symmetrically, and now I don't know why When things got messed up, Xia Xiqing set them up one by one, "I heard that my mother wanted to marry Xia Yunkai at first. Her discerning eyes are only suitable for works of art, and they are too distracting."

After he finished speaking, he turned around, propped up the dressing table with his back hand and looked at Zhou Ziheng, "Just think about it, she is a arrogant girl in the art world, and she doesn't care about anyone. The family broke down. As a result," Xia Xiqing lowered his head and smiled, "Watching him look for women outside one after another, each one is inferior to himself."

For a person who was born arrogant, it would be tantamount to being executed at a lingering time.

"When I was pregnant with me, my mother went back to her mother's house, and when she came back, she accidentally bumped into Xia Yunkai and the wild woman outside, messing around in their bedroom, catching the rape on the bed." Xia Xiqing shrugged, "She was probably at that time. I hate it together with the one in my stomach."

He always said these words in such a relaxed tone, and Zhou Ziheng couldn't do anything about him.

"Then... what happened later?"

"Later?" Xia Xiqing breathed a sigh of relief, "Later...she suffered from postpartum depression, and her whole person changed, but when she was outside, she pretended to be as dignified and generous as before, and then she went home and called again. I smashed it again, sometimes I would make trouble with Xia Yunkai, sometimes hug me and cry, and sometimes beat me like Xia Yunkai." He smiled and pointed to the top, "There are several more times, hold me in your arms. Standing outside the railing on the top floor, he said he would take me to death."

Seeing his smile like that, Zhou Ziheng's heart seemed to be stabbed fiercely by something.

He stepped forward, walked in front of Xia Xiqing, reached out to touch his face, but Xia Xiqing avoided him. This escape made Zhou Ziheng's heart even more uncomfortable. But the next second, Xia Xiqing put his head on Zhou Ziheng's shoulder again and sighed inaudibly.

Zhou Ziheng touched the back of his head, and then kissed the top of Xia Xiqing's head. He was born in a happy family, and he can hardly imagine what Xia Xiqing has encountered. People always say that he is in favor of others, but these are just empty words in Zhou Ziheng's eyes, and he has never experienced it himself. The so-called empathy is just numbing his kind nerve Just beautiful words.

"Are you starting to pity me now?" Xia Xiqing leaned on him, his voice cold, like a thin layer of ice, "This is just the tip of the iceberg."

Xia Xiqing is like an extreme child, constantly tearing his own wounds in front of Zhou Ziheng. While tearing at him, he smiled and said to him, "Look, does this look good?"

Is this utterly rotten?

Is this scary?

Zhou Ziheng squeezed the back of his neck lightly, "It must be a lie to say that you are not pitiful." His fingers had an ironing temperature, "I like you so much, even if you are scratched by a twig, I feel pitiful, for you It hurts, whoever makes me have such a temper, I will sympathize with those who don't like them." He hugged Xia Xiqing, "You are my favorite person, you say I don't pity you."

"Anyway, you are a logical genius." Xia Xiqing was too lazy to argue with him.

But when he heard Zhou Ziheng say this, he suddenly didn't want to go on, telling him those things were too cruel to Zhou Ziheng.

"I'm curious, you should look a lot like your mother." Zhou Ziheng squeezed his chin, lifted his face, and kissed the tip of his nose lightly.

This time, Xia Xiqing didn't scold him again. He just got out of his arms and led him to a suite inside. There was a cabinet in the suite. Xia Xiqing opened the third drawer and found a photo from it.

Zhou Ziheng originally thought it was a photo of Xia Xiqing's mother, but when he handed it over, it turned out to be an oil painting, which seemed to have been taken at a certain art exhibition.

The painting shows a sitting woman. His long black hair was pulled to one side, his face was beautiful, his manners were noble, and a string of lustrous pearl necklaces was worn around his fair neck. What Zhou Ziheng did not expect was that the person in the painting was more similar to Xia Xiqing than he imagined.

"If you put a mole on the tip of your nose, I would believe it is you." Zhou Ziheng felt a little familiar, but of course he should be familiar with it. He was almost exactly the same as Xia Xiqing. He put his hand around Xia Xiqing's shoulder and touched it along His ears, "Such women have the capital to be proud of."

As if you too have the right to be proud.

Zhou Ziheng took the photo from his hand, squinted and looked at it carefully, and found that there was a small label under the painting with a name written on it. A look of surprise appeared on his face, "You drew this?"

"Well." Xia Xiqing stared at the painting in the photo, "I painted this when I was fifteen years old, and it was my first painting to be auctioned off. At that time, she had been gone for five years. drawn from memory."

No matter how he doesn't understand art, Zhou Ziheng can still see the tenderness and love hidden between his brushstrokes. Although this mother did so many things to hurt him, in Xia Xiqing's eyes, it was always his mother.

"Why a photo?" Zhou Ziheng asked, "Where is this painting now?"

Xia Xiqing shook his head, "I don't know. This painting was bought in my mother's gallery. I asked someone about it, and it seemed that he was an ordinary collector. Later, it was sold overseas, and I couldn't find it. ."

As a competent storyteller, Xia Xiqing raised his head, "Want to know how my mother died?"

Zhou Ziheng was stunned, his eyes softened.

Xia Xiqing wrapped his hands around his neck, and the corners of his mouth twitched slightly, "It's nothing, if you want to say it, just say it."

"Have you told anyone about these things?"

"I'm not the kind of scumbag who uses so-called painful experiences to deceive other people's sympathy." After that, he smiled and shook his head, "Okay, I'm a scumbag, but I'm a scumbag based on my ability."

After saying this, Xia Xiqing was poked by Zhou Ziheng's finger on his forehead. He smiled and held Zhou Ziheng's finger, put it to his mouth and kissed it.

He really didn't want to say it. But the other party was Zhou Ziheng, and he didn't want to hide it. After all, having such an experience, he needed to be frank so that Zhou Ziheng had a choice.

After hearing it, consider whether to accept such a handicapped person.

"Xu Qichen doesn't know, he only knows that I used to be beaten by Xia Yunkai a lot. There's no way to hide this. He is my tablemate." My face, just hit me hard in the back with that thin, long golf club, tie it up and play, or I'll run."

He spoke vividly, his eyes stubborn, "I still have to go to class after I can get out of bed. Once during a lunch break, Xu Qichen suddenly pushed me awake." He suddenly laughed when he said this, "You know what, his People usually have no expressions, and I can still recall his panicked expression with wide eyes at that time," Xia Xiqing imitated Xu Qichen's appearance at that time, "You have bleeding from your back, and your school uniform is stained."

"Then I couldn't hide it. He was a smart guy. Whoever fights would be beaten like that." Xia Xiqing sighed, "But I still can't tell him anything else, otherwise the two will be pitiful. Everyday life is too hard." After speaking, Xia Xiqing smiled, put the photo back in the drawer, and took Zhou Ziheng out of the collection room and walked through the long gallery.

"My mother died of drug abuse." Xia Xiqing said these words without any burden. "Postpartum depression continued to worsen, and she relied on drugs every day to stay decent in front of outsiders. To put it bluntly, outsiders At that time, she was like an angel, and when she came home, she became a lunatic. After switching between the two for a long time, she couldn't change the role freely." Speaking of which, he suddenly stopped and was extremely serious. Looking at Zhou Ziheng's profile and asking, "You said, is there a genetic reason for me to act so well?"

After he finished speaking, he chuckled lightly and continued to walk upstairs while holding on to the handrail.

Zhou Ziheng's hands were all cold.

For the first time, he felt that his temperature was so insignificant, so worthless, could he warm Xia Xiqing's heart when he was hollowed out?

He wasn't sure.

"She built an art gallery out of her heart and named it after me. As my tenth birthday present, she made a special trip to invite a baker in France to make my cake into a sculpture, imitating the image of Ma Zhuhan. Mo He's masterpiece, "Mother's Love," did everything decently." As he walked to the last step, Xia Xiqing stopped, as if waiting for Zhou Ziheng.

"And then, that art museum..."

"Then she died on the day that the art museum opened." Xia Xiqing continued to walk forward without the slightest wave in his voice, "Convulsed all over, and fell in front of me and my cake."

Zhou Ziheng took a step forward and held his hand, his fingertips were cold, which was incompatible with this hot and humid midsummer night.

"I didn't feel anything at all at the time, everyone was panicking, and I said, it's alright, my mother is always like this at home, she'll be fine in a while." Xia Xiqing smiled, "Then she never got better."

Xia Xiqing paused, stopped in front of a dark blue door, and was silent for half a minute.

"I didn't eat a single bite of that cake. It's a pity that no one will make such a beautiful cake for me again."

Actually, not for me, but for herself.

His hand gripped the door handle, his fingers tightened, and he hesitated at the moment of opening it.

Zhou Ziheng felt the change in his mood almost instantly. His shoulders were shaking, the more he trembled, the more severe the shaking, like a patient with some kind of serious illness, his body began to be out of control.

"What's wrong?" He hugged Xia Xiqing with a hesitant tone, "This is... what room is this?"

Xia Xiqing lowered his head and clenched his back molars tightly to prevent himself from shaking so much. He thought he could face these pasts easily, and thought that those pasts were all gone, and they were no longer enough to torture him. nightmare.

Pandora's box is always open.

"This is my room." Xia Xiqing struggled to overcome the cold war, and the moment he tried to turn the door handle, a warm and dry palm covered his own, and Zhou Ziheng's voice was also warm, like a young, soft spring. Slowly flowing over, covered in this vulnerable ice.

"If you really can't overcome it, it's okay." Zhou Ziheng's thumb rubbed the back of his hand gently as always, "I can't bear it."

It was really torturous for him to be reluctant to watch him go into pain with his own eyes.

Xia Xiqing took a silent breath and pursed his lips.

"No, I need you." He raised his eyes to look at Zhou Ziheng, "If you weren't here, I would never dare to step in. Since you have the courage to let the superposition collapse." He pouted, "I can too. ."

After speaking, Xia Xiqing opened the door.

It was pitch black inside, and nothing could be seen. The heavy darkness devoured everything completely, but those memories swept in like a tsunami, destroying the sky and destroying the earth.

Xia Xiqing turned on the light pretending to be calm. This room finally lit up. It was actually a normal children's room, with dark blue wallpaper and ceiling, a small desk, and a single single bed. The only difference is that the walls are covered with paintings that Xia Xiqing drew when he was a child.

Zhou Ziheng noticed that his windows and balcony were all fitted with iron railings.

It looks like a small prison.

"I remember you asked me when you were in Truth or Dare, why you're afraid of the dark." Xia Xiqing's voice was very deep, like a stone gently placed on the lake, falling heavily and silently.

"For as long as I can remember, I cried every time they quarreled, maybe it affected them, so I was thrown into my little room, locked, turned off the light, and let me self-reflect in the dark. But I At that time, I didn’t know anything, I was just scared.”

He walked slowly to the railing on the balcony, grabbed his fingers and shook it twice, "It's still solid."

"Once again, there were guests in the house, and they had just finished arguing, and I was still crying, so naturally I was locked up, but I was so scared, so I ran to the balcony and cried loudly, and the guests seemed to hear it "Xia Xiqing sat with his back against the railing and sat on the ground, "In order to prevent this shameful thing from happening again, they locked the balcony once and for all."

Zhou Ziheng could hardly imagine what kind of deformed family Xia Xiqing spent his childhood in.

"Oh, I almost forgot." Xia Xi took off his shirt and pointed down at the old scar on his waist, "Have you seen this."

"My mother once went crazy at home and told me that it was because of my birth that her life went unfortunate." Xia Xiqing's eyes suddenly became wet, "If only I didn't exist." His hand was empty. As if holding a sharp blade, he stabbed into his body at once, "She stabbed it in, pulled it out, and locked me here."

"She held me before and said that I was the only piece of art she created in her life. But then she complained so bitterly that I was the culprit in her miserable life, and she had to destroy me. ."

"But I," Xia Xiqing finally burst into tears, "I just want to be her child."

Zhou Ziheng almost collapsed, he stepped forward and hugged Xia Xiqing tightly, this person finally merged with the one who was crying silently in his arms, so naked and so painful.

"I was so young at that time, only five years old, just behind that door, I covered the wound with blood on my hands, and screamed at my parents, no one came to save me."

"It was so dark in the room, there was no sound, I was the only one, only me." Xia Xiqing trembled, tears like beads with a broken thread, "If only someone came to save me at that time."

I used to expect love.

I try my best to show my brilliance and learn to be a kid who won't let them lose face.

But then I discovered that I didn't need a luxury like love at all.

I just need someone to open this door for me when I'm scared.