The funeral ceremony was simple and short. I saw a few familiar noodle holes in the crowd. Everyone just greeted it from a distance. After the funeral, I left each other without excessive communication.

I went to the gate of the cemetery with Shang Muyi. I wonder if it was affected by the funeral atmosphere. He seemed to be quiet all the way.

"This is the first time I attended the funeral." When I walked to the gate, Shang Muyu suddenly said.

I felt wrong when I heard it. He participated in the funeral for the first time. Where did his mother die?

He seemed to hear my voice, and then said blandly: "When my mother held a funeral, I was not allowed to approach, and I could only stand in the distance by the nanny. I."

It was clear that the sun felt warm, but just a moment of work, and I became cold for no reason. Although my relationship with my parents was also very alienated, it was not as indisputable as him. I was really hard to imagine that Shang Lu said this to a five -year -old child.

"On the day she died, I asked me ... Do you want to go to the same place with her. I have always been afraid of her. She never likes me. Except for me, I blame me to destroy her career. A good place, she refused. She suddenly became angry, toughly pushed me out of the door, threw it into the rain, and let me cry without opening the door. "Speaking of which, he laughed," Grow up I only knew that she was going to take me to Huangquan, it wasn't a good place. "

"Everyone says she is sick, and she doesn't want to be like that, ask me for forgive her." He walked in the sun, but his voice was cold and he was about to fall into the ice residue. "But she was sick and it was not my fault. Hate her? "

At the gate, I and his car stopped not far away. He stopped, and I stopped involuntarily.

"Her paintings are full of vitality and beautiful meaning. Looking at those wonderful colors, her heart will calm down unconsciously. She gives me the best side to others, and the worst side is given to me."

That's why he wanted to destroy "Garden Scenic" and destroy those disgusting to his opinion. He has been in the blame of his parents since he was a child. He has not got a trace of tenderness from them, and only his sister is all of him.

Now, Shang Yunrou no longer belongs to him.

He stood in front of me and inserted his hands in his jacket. The youthful twenty -year -old was full of tiredness and resentment of the world.

You are young, you have to live well. He also saw this sentence, but he didn't know how to live well.

"This is the first time I have participated in other funerals." I said, "Twelve years ago, when the three friends who had a car accident with me held a funeral, I was still lying on the bed."

Shang Muyi was not surprised at all, facing me, her face was calm.

"You have seen it too, I still get stuck in the nightmare, there is no way to come out of the accident."

I don't know when it starts, the concept of reconciliation with the world is popular everywhere. There must be no sadness and no joy, no resentment and hate, and pursue the tranquility of the heart, and take the land to become a Buddha. It seems that the desire to be lust is a low -person, and the hatred of hatred is unreasonable.

"Schopenhauer believes that to eliminate the pain of life, the first is not to cut off life, but to achieve the extinction of life by abstinence and asceticism. The will disappears, and people will no longer be painful. On the contrary, the exposure of extreme emotions, those unstoppable desires vent, and do the moment that can only bring "pain". "

I stared at his eyes and said slowly: "So, it doesn't matter if you can't let go. Not all things can be easily erased from life."

It doesn't matter if you don't reconcile. Hate is completely possible. Life is a magnificent red flame. These difficult desires will make it more bare and stronger.

He may have heard of this theory for the first time, and he tilted his head for a long time.

"... Can't you release it?"

"It's ok."

"Hate her?"

"Can."

He was speechless for a long time, looking at me with a smile, and he leaned down without a sign.

"Okay, just listen to you."

Before I reacted what he was going to do, I felt that my face was touched slightly. The soft touch seemed to be with electricity, and the half -body body that felt the normal half of my body was numb.

"This is your repayment for you these days. Go away, see the school tomorrow." He was like a bear child who had succeeded in a prank, slipped away, and waved back to me, turned to his blue and white Heavy Machinery.

I was still in shock and could only watch him go away.

When I couldn't see him at all, I raised my hand, gently touched the piece of skin he had kissed with my fingertips, then quickly closed my hand and clenched it into a fist.

Returning to the car like sleepwalking, he glanced at the rearview mirror and found that his entire face was red.

Chapter 17 You lied to me

Whenever my eyes swept across Shang Muxiao, whether he was looking at him intentionally or not, he would smile back at me.

Holding his chin, his mood is very bright, sitting by the window of the classroom, wherever I go, his eyes will fall. The leisurely appearance is in stark contrast to the students around who are listening carefully to the class and burying their heads in taking notes.

Since he didn't listen carefully, why did he come to listen?

"Bergson is also a very important master in the history of Western philosophy. Like Schopenhauer and Nietzsche, he does not think that instinct is inferior to reason. This kind of thinking has created his 'intuition concept', and his new metaphysics The theory is built on it. If man abandons reason and stays true to his instincts, perhaps he will discover the essence of life..."

The screen of the mobile phone placed on the podium suddenly lit up, I glanced at it, it was a message from Shang Muxiao.

Are you free tomorrow night?

I looked away, ignored him, and continued lecturing.

Two minutes later, the screen lights up again, the previous message is still there, and a new one comes.