Chapter 108 Extra Story: Yu Ning Chapter (2)

For Yu Ning, the word first love came hastily and scribbled.

Love is like an acute high fever, with endless dizziness when it strikes, all senses thrown into the cloud. But such a disease does not even require medication, and the high fever will disappear one night.

Yu Ning told Nan Ke everything he knew and thought about. He was the friend who understood him the most and the family who cared about him the most. They watch movies together, ride outings together, dive together, do whatever they can in the summer. The happiness he has obtained is more than the accumulation of the previous ten years.

For the first time, Yu Ning even had the idea of ​​wanting to be with this person for the rest of her life.

After the summer vacation, it rained non-stop for days in Nice. After the rain stopped, Yu Ning rode his bike to the coffee shop. He found a book in the library that Nan Ke had been wanting to read but couldn't find, and happily opened the shop door.

Nanke is not there. Yu Ning has calculated his shift schedule. Logically speaking, Nan Ke should have come here for the morning shift today.

Could it be that he is sick? Yu Ning was a little flustered and asked the store manager quickly, but the result he got made him even more flustered.

"He didn't come the day before yesterday. He just called and said that he might be taking a long vacation."

Yu Ning took out the cell phone that was just repaired yesterday and called Nanke. There was only a cold tone on the phone - the number you dialed was not in the service area. He had to ride quickly to his apartment, knocked on the door for a long time, and there was no response from inside.

The heartbeat is getting louder and denser, like the heavy rain a few days ago.

He was a little regretful, his infatuation was too timid, except for the coffee shop and the apartment, he didn't have any other information about Nanke. The unease in his heart made him feel anxious. For many days, he waited for him in Nanke's apartment, sitting at the door and not going anywhere.

In the end, what he waited for was not Nanke, but the owner of the apartment. Holding a bunch of jingling keys, he opened the familiar door.

"Are you Nan's friend?"

Yu Ning nodded, "Where did he go, doesn't he live here?"

"Yes, he quit the house, and there will be new tenants here soon." The landlord answered him kindly.

"Then, do you know where he went?"

The landlord shook his head, "Sorry, I don't know, he left in a hurry."

Yu Ning left the apartment and rode to the University of Nice. He only wanted to find Nan Ke's whereabouts. He didn't even care about his social fears, so he mustered up the courage to search the entire college. In the end, a professor told him that Nan Ke had taken a leave of absence and returned to China.

On the way home, Yu Ning couldn't understand. He didn't know why everything came so suddenly, why Nan Ke left without saying goodbye.

A sense of abandonment and loss came up gradually, like a tide that never receded, suffocating him.

When they got home, their adoptive parents were packing their things when they saw Yu Ning asking, "Where have you been? Go upstairs and pack your things."

Yu Ning was a little dazed, "Why?"

The adoptive mother came over and touched his head, "I told you last time, your father is going to be transferred from Nice to Paris, and we are also moving. You have been distracted recently."

Yu Ning frowned, "When are you going?"

"This weekend," said the adoptive mother, smiling. "You'll love Paris."

He didn't want to leave, he didn't want to leave the place at all, if he could, if there wouldn't be a new tenant in that small apartment, he even wanted to rent it, and kept waiting, waiting for Nan Ke to come back to him.

He didn't wait for any news from Nanke until the day he moved. This person just disappeared into the world he had left, showing no mercy.

Yu Ning sat in the car and watched the scenery of Nice silently along the way. It seemed that it was the same as when he first arrived, and nothing had changed. The only difference was that it seemed that he had been hanging out with Nan Ke. past imprint.

He took the little poem out of his pocket.

[hesitating should be executed]

In heart, meditated for the last time, and then tore the paper to shreds.

Completed the ritual of this execution.

He changed his mobile phone number, changed his Chinese name that he had always wanted to keep, abandoned those cowardice and cowardice that were useless, and became a brand new person. He suddenly discovered that the communication that he once thought was so difficult is actually much easier, as long as you don't give your heart.

When he was in college, Yu Ning was already well-known. The unique temperament brought by his Asian face made him the one who could never be ignored in the crowd. The freshness of the youth was gradually replaced by the gloomy eroded bones. fatal attraction.

What's even more ironic is that now he, whether male or female, is willing to get close to him as long as he expresses his goodwill to him. The objects of communication changed one by one, but Yu Ning became more and more dissatisfied, and the hole in his heart could almost swallow everything.

He doesn't want much, as long as there is such a person, he can love him so much that he can't remember the escaped again.

But not one.

I originally thought that that person would die in my heart for the rest of my life, and the face that once gave me the best memory will rot in my mind so quietly, until I can no longer remember every bit of it. . But things are unpredictable, Nan Ke, who disappeared for seven years, actually reappears.

It seems that their meeting will never be able to get rid of the embarrassing situation. Looking at the mess in the hotel, Yu Ning couldn't help laughing.

But he is no longer the ignorant and cramped child he used to be. Now he doesn't care what Nan Ke thinks of himself. Innocent or dirty, noble or inferior, it doesn't matter.

He even felt that the more frivolous the better, the best thing to do is to touch Nan Ke's bottom line and let him completely forget the past Yu Ning, who was so simple that he didn't even want to remember.

As he expected, Nan Ke's bottom line was easily smashed by him, especially when it came to his chaotic private life. Seeing his angry expression for the first time, Yu Ning felt genuinely happy.

"Mr. Reporter, why are you angry?"

He really wanted to know why Nan Ke was angry, was he despised?

"I, who were abandoned by you without telling me, are still smiling."

Nan Ke's hands trembled when he heard the words "farewell without a word". Yu Ning just thought it was ridiculous, pushed him away and stood up by himself, estranged the order in French, "Let's stop here for today's interview, I'm tired, I need to rest."

"Yuning..."

Hearing his former name read out from his mouth, Yu Ning's heart suddenly ached. He hated this feeling, turned his face coldly, and said slowly in Chinese, "Don't you understand? I'll let you roll."

He didn't need to explain, because it seemed that as long as Nanke said the reason for leaving without saying goodbye, the bond between him and this person for so many years would be lifted immediately. He would rather be entangled in such pain than be wiped out by an explanation seven years late.

After Nan Ke left, the sluggish nerves finally started to work. Yu Ning felt cold all over, poured himself a full glass of whisky, poured it directly into his body, and sat on the ground blankly, looking out the window at Huangpu. Jiang, the sourness in my heart is about to overflow.

It turned out that the high fever had not receded at all, it was just lurking insidiously, waiting for an opportunity to act.

Nan Ke didn't know how he got out of the hotel, so he was kicked out in a drowsy manner, got into a car, and returned to the magazine office. His eyes were sore all the way, and the wind almost made them flow out. tears.

He had a lot of things he wanted to explain to Yu Ning.

For example, he really didn't leave without saying goodbye. After he learned that his father was diagnosed with stomach cancer, he called him as soon as possible, but he couldn't get through all the time. The situation was urgent, and he flew back to China that day. For several months, as his only relative, he had been taking care of his father in the hospital. He was unable to hire a nurse and could hardly sleep all night. This sudden illness shattered all the good things.

Three months later, he was neatly dressed, and at a lonely funeral, he silently sent away his withered father.

Nan Ke, who was alone, returned to Nice and imagined many possibilities. He knew that Yu Ning would be very angry and sad. He almost thought of all the words to please him, even though he knew that he could no longer stay there. Nice, stay by Yu Ning's side, but despite this, he wants to find him, apologize to him, and hope he doesn't give up on himself like this.

All imaginable possibilities came to nothing after hearing the news that Yu Ning's family had moved away.

In just a few months, Nanke lost everything he could, and finally became a "qualified" adult.

The moment of reunion came too suddenly, and it was only in a trance that realized that seven years had passed.

Yu Ning was no longer cowardly, and Nan Ke was no longer radiant.

Handing over the interview materials to the editor-in-chief, he took a novel signed by the author Nathan, sat in his cramped and messy workstation, and watched silently, trying to understand Yu Ning in the past seven years.

The more look down, the more desperate feel. Every word, the interpretation of love is always negative and depressing, and Nan Ke feels breathless.

That wasn't what he wanted to bring him.

Closing the book, Nan Ke sat there.

A parable in the book made him almost give up the confidence to regain his courage.

[The wrong first love is a stubborn wisdom tooth, it squeezes and grows frantically, and it wears you into unbearable pain for countless nights. When you finally ruthlessly uproot him, an empty blood hole is left forever. , buried in your ignorance and innocence. ]

What a wonderful comparison.

He couldn't help but think of what Yu Ning said during the interview.

[For me, love is a frightened bird. ]

Perhaps in his heart, he is the one holding the bow and arrow, but he is not at all. Nan Ke couldn't help but smile bitterly, maybe he was a bird too.

Like him, he is the same kind who has been frightened for seven years.

Nan Ke wondered if it would make sense for him to ask for forgiveness now, maybe in the past seven years, Yu Ning had forgotten about himself, or worse, only hatred. Maybe he already has a new love, maybe a person who is a hundred times better than himself, who has given him countless creative inspirations.

Then go to him now, will it be just to disturb?

As soon as he closed his eyes, he could see Yu Ning's mocking smile, which made his pain invisible.

Nan Ke refused an invitation from a female colleague twice. This time, he gave her a task, which made the invitation seem imperative. Nan Ke had no choice but to agree.

He saw Yu Ning at the meeting place.

Nan Ke sometimes thinks that God probably likes to joke with him, maybe making fun of him is very fulfilling in life, and sometimes there are many coincidences, and nothing is unexpected.

On the dance floor, he was kissing a woman, but those bottomless eyes looked at him through the chaotic crowd, and there were meanings in his eyes that he couldn't understand. He only knew who he was now, and he couldn't restrain his jealousy and anger.

In the end, he shot and forcibly took him away when he was very drunk. Yu Ning almost picked up the most nasty words and said to him, Nan Ke pretended to be a wooden man and sent him back to the hotel as if he didn't understand.

But the photo that fell out of his wallet completely collapsed the reason he had built up over and over again.

Yu Ning repeated her name over and over again, as if they had never been separated. Alcohol ignited the madness and desire that had been repressed for seven years, burning an entire barren forest to ashes.

When he woke up in the morning, Nan Ke stared blankly at Yu Ning's sleeping face and felt very uncomfortable. Finally, under the urging of his boss, he had to leave the hotel. On the way, he received a call from his mother, who had barely fulfilled his responsibilities, urging him to participate in a blind date that he had arranged.

Life is like an overwhelming net, overwhelming him.

In the end, he went to the cafe where he met. The other party was well-dressed. Nan Ke ordered a latte for himself. The girl smiled and said, "I thought most of you guys like black coffee."

Nan Ke didn't speak, just smiled. His absent-mindedness was too obvious, no matter what the other party said, he could not get a response from him, and the frustration made the girl feel embarrassed.

"Do you think dating me is boring? A waste of time?"

Nan Ke took a deep breath, all he thought about was Yu Ning, "I'm sorry. My mother hasn't contacted me for a long time, and we almost don't know each other. In fact, I have someone I like, and I I've liked him for many years, and I don't think we can get along as my mother expected."

As soon as Nan Ke finished speaking, the girl poured the uncooled coffee on him.

"Is it fun to play with others?"

Nan Ke stood up, "I'm sorry for wasting your time." After speaking, he left without wiping his clothes. He had nowhere to go, he just wanted to see Yu Ning, he still felt unwilling, and still had a lot to tell him, but he didn't even have Yu Ning's contact information, so he could only call the hotel.

"Sorry, Mr. Nathan has already checked out."

"……OK, thanks."

The last ray of hope is gone. Thinking of that night, when he was drunk and clamoring to see the Oriental Pearl, Nan Ke was in a trance. He really came to the Bund alone. The cold wind blew on his face and poured it into his empty clothes. , thought of the transparent blue sea of ​​Nice.

Never before have wished to turn back time.

"coincidence."

A familiar voice appeared, Nan Ke looked back in confusion, and actually saw Yu Ning.

He was wearing a black trench coat, and his hair was ruffled by the river wind.

"It's like this..." He approached, glanced at Nan Ke who was covered in mess, and leaned against the railing, "I don't drink coffee now."

Nan Ke didn't speak, and looked down at the gray-white ground.

"I hate coffee." Yu Ning stretched out his palm to shield himself from the cold wind, lit a cigarette, and took a breath.

The tone of this sentence suddenly brought Nan Ke La back to the midsummer seven years ago. The teenager who once claimed to hate summer seems to have not changed now.

In the gray smoke, his half-smiling face was revealed.

"I hate you more."

Hearing this sentence, he felt relieved, "Really? Great."

The hate in his mouth may not be the meaning of hate at all.

Yu Ning put the cigarette between his slender fingers, walked in front of him, took something out of his trench coat pocket, and stuffed it into Nan Ke's hand.

"It's the only thing I took from you, and I'm giving it back to you now."

Nan Ke spread out his palm, which was a square folded piece of paper. To be precise, it was an old, torn and re-adhesive piece of paper with his own handwriting on it, with the strange poem written on it.

[Between you, it can only be love. ]

This was the clumsy trick he used to confess at the beginning.

Nan Ke gritted his teeth, put the piece of paper in his trouser pocket, and said nothing. The blood hole in my heart kept pouring out blood, I couldn't hold it, it was painful and sore.

It was Yu Ning who spoke first, "Do you still want to be human in your next life?"

The conversation turned too fast, Nan Ke didn't understand what he wanted to express.

"I don't want it anymore." Yu Ning replied to himself, he took a puff of cigarette, and then exhaled a beautiful smoke ring, "People are really pitiful."

"Why do you say that?"

Yu Ning looked into Nan Ke's eyes, "The most pitiful thing about people is that they can never control who they like, and have no right to choose and refuse."

I think I liked others in the past, and I forgot about you completely, and I thought I was blind and saw a ghost, but I couldn't do it at all, and everything was up to me.

Nan Ke stared into his eyes, and finally took the cigarette from his hand and put it to his lips.

"Then I still want to be a person in my next life." He exhaled smoke like a sigh, "It's really uncontrollable to like you, but I'm very willing, and I will in my next life."

Yu Ning was stunned for a while, then leaned on the railing sideways and laughed, smiling and silent.

After a long silence, Jiang Feng once again passed his voice to Nan Ke's ears.

"I'm going to write a new book."

Nan Ke put out the cigarette, "What's the name?"

"A dream."

Since you, I have never dared to love someone so deeply, because I am so timid in my bones, and I am afraid that it is another dream of Nanke.

[end]

Back in Paris, Yu Ning locked himself in his room all day writing books, hardly going anywhere. His chaotic life in the past made him harassed all the time. Later, he simply threw his phone out of the window.

After staying up all night, the morning light came in through the window, making him extremely sleepy.

The doorbell rang suddenly, fearing that it was his editor, Yu Ning, who had just been in bed, had to get up again and open the door lazily.

"Why are you..." Yu Ning was stunned when he saw Nan Ke who was standing outside the door dragging his suitcase.

Nan Ke had a tired look on his face, and smiled when he saw him open the door. In fact, his plane arrived early in the morning, but he was afraid of disturbing Yu Ning's rest, so he could only sit at the door of his house and wait until dawn. Ring the doorbell.

"Can I come in and sit down?"

Yu Ning turned sideways to give in, feeling embarrassed and puzzled, "How, how do you know where I live?"

"I have inquired about a lot of people, and it is considered a circle. If you ask more, you will ask." Nan Ke picked up the luggage, "Don't worry, I have booked a hotel, I will go there later, I just took it I got an offer here, so I'm still looking for a house, so I just came to see..."

Yu Ning cut him off bluntly and cut to the point, "Why did you come to Paris?"

Nan Ke didn't answer directly. He took out the piece of paper he returned from his pocket and handed it to Yu Ning, "I want to give it to you."

It's already like this, why... Yu Ning took the piece of paper full of shreds and was stunned.

The last line is whitened out.

"Can you fill in the last sentence for me?" Nan Ke smiled unreservedly, "if you want."

The show is over