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Chapter 54
Chapter 54
However, as soon as he got home and entered the door, he was pressed heavily against the wall by Jiang Liu who "knows the importance". Before he could make a sound, he was instantly gagged.
Jiang Liushen has endured since the afternoon until now, just waiting to come back to be gentle with me, where is there any reason to go home and be a gentleman? He didn't even care to be treated with care, and his eager breath was sprayed on his child's face, steaming the already blushing face even more.
"Hmm..." Xia Xiai's whimper was blocked back, and she couldn't resist, so she could only close her mouth and hold on to the last position.
Jiang Liushen didn't force him. After sucking that soft mouth, he kissed from face to neck, from neck to back of ear, and took a light bite on the red earlobe.
"Why is Ai'ai so soft and sweet...is it made of marshmallows?"
Xia Xiai really had no experience at all. She was as pure as a piece of white paper. The place she kissed was red. She wanted to push him but couldn't push him. She wanted to scold him but didn't dare to open her mouth. Half coaxed to the living room, under the guise of watching the show, he was pressed on the sofa and continued to bully.
Kissing and kissing, Jiang Liushen's hand also began to be dishonest. He touched the waist of the lower body through the clothes, and breathed with soft lips: "Don't be shy, baby, open your mouth..."
Just like an old hooligan.
"Jiang...flow is deep!" Xia Xiai finally struggled to break free, and immediately covered her mouth with her hand, glaring at him angrily: "You don't mess around after drinking... mess..."
He was ashamed to say that word.
Jiang Liushen put his arms beside his head, looked at him condescendingly, smiled wickedly, and licked his lips: "How can you be drunk with this little wine, it's you, your face will be as red as honey after drinking a glass of wine. Like a peach, isn't this obviously tempting me to come and kiss?"
Xia Xiai immediately added a hand to cover her flushed cheeks, revealing only a pair of big black round eyes.
Jiang Liushen was directly hit by his actions: "Xia kid, please stop exuding your cute charm, my endurance is limited."
"You said you came back and explained it to me... Make it clear first." Xia Xiai blinked, "Otherwise I won't let you kiss."
Jiang Liushen completely disarmed and surrendered, bowed his head and kissed the back of his cute little hand, got up, pulled him up, and sat face to face.
"What do you want to know, just ask, don't delay my kissing my little Ai'ai."
Xia Xiai finally put down her hand: "First clarify Fang Mao's affairs."
When I mention this Jiang Liushen, I get angry: "Which son of a bitch is you comparing yourself to? I've never regarded you as him!"
"...On the way back from recording the show that day, I heard you tell your sister."
"..." Jiang Liushen was angry and stagnant, and after a long while, he said with a sad face: "Jiang Liushen, this bastard!"
Xia Xiai couldn't help laughing, the corners of her mouth were raised slightly, her eyebrows were curved, and her cheeks were flushed, like a clear spring with peach blossoms falling, smart and transparent.
Jiang Liushen was fascinated by it for a while: "If your fans see you like this, they will definitely not say you are salty. You are not allowed to laugh at them in the future, just be my little sweet."
Xia Xiai waved his hand away: "Don't change the subject, you haven't explained it yet."
"Okay, I said, I said." Jiang Liushen finally took a serious attitude, "Actually, it's not a complicated story."
He speaks loudly.
"In the years when I first started filming, there were not many fans, and if there were any letters from fans, I would reply. Fang Mao was the most enthusiastic one."
"We wrote nearly 100 letters in the first two or three years. He said a lot about himself in the letter, saying that he was one year younger than me, and he was very envious that I could film and be a star, but I could only live in Live an ordinary life in school."
"I also mentioned that my parents passed away a few years ago and are now adopted by relatives. Although they go to school like ordinary children, they do not live well in school."
"Some parents do not let their children interact with him after knowing that he is an orphan, for fear that he may have psychological problems."
Jiang Liu sighed deeply: "He was fine originally, but because others treated him like that, he gradually developed a problem, which is the so-called depression."
"I can see that he is getting more and more depressed and depressed, and I want to help him, but he is unwilling to reveal his real name, and the address is the school. I have no choice but to comfort him as much as possible in the letter."
"Consolation is comfort, I can't put all my thoughts on him, plus my popularity is getting higher and higher, and my work is getting busier and busier, and the reply letters will gradually decrease. He may have also noticed this, and the frequency of letters has gradually decreased. It got lower, saying it was to not disturb me."
"But every time my movie was released, he would send me feedback and he was always paying attention to me. But I was focusing on filming at that time, just trying to figure out the role and improving my acting skills, but I didn't notice the signs of his worsening depression. ."
"Later, I received the film "Flying". I was very excited at the time, I thought it was a character that could break through myself. I wanted to act well, so I followed the filming crew for several months in retreat and only returned to him after filming. The letter told him how he felt when filming the movie, and I hope it can give him some encouragement, who also suffers from depression."
"The content of his reply to me that time was very concise, not as generous as before with a thousand words, only one or two hundred words. At the end of the letter, he asked me 'Is the ending good?'. Because of the non-disclosure agreement, I can't spoil it. Just tell him, 'For the character, maybe it's good. But for us, maybe it's bad. It depends on how you look at it.'"
"Later, the movie came out. Three days later, I received another letter from him, the last one."
Jiang Liushen paused for a while when he said this, his expression was a little heavy: "I'll go and show it to you."
He entered the study, and after a while came out with an envelope and handed it to Xia Xiai.
It's an ordinary kraft paper envelope, well-preserved, with no fraying at the corners. Xia Xiai carefully opened the envelope and took out the letter inside. The handwriting on it was neat and beautiful, like words written by a calm person in the warm sunshine:
[Brother Shen, I went to see your new movie, and it was so perfect that I couldn't pick out a single fault. Since I wrote your first letter to you ten years ago, I have known that you will become a very good actor. Even though you have won two Golden Film Awards, you are still constantly breaking through and moving forward. I especially admire your kind of performance. Calm and courage. ]
[I can't, my life seems to be going backwards all the time. ]
[Since my parents passed away, I seem to have lost all enthusiasm and hope, and every day is a countdown to my life. I also thought about getting back on my feet, but I really can't stand the cold eyes and maliciousness of those people. It's too hard to live alone, and it's only when I write these words to you that I feel relieved. ]
[Remember when I said that I envy you for being an actor? In fact, my dream since childhood was also to be an actor, but in front of you how dare I say that. For an ordinary person like me, it is a great honor to have such correspondence with you. ]
[However, when I watch your movie, I still fantasize a little, I imagine myself as you, and I imagine myself as that character, and then I realize again that you are really amazing, and I would definitely not be able to play it. ]
[But this time you played the depressed patient, I think I can definitely play as perfect as you, because it's my true character, haha. ]
[Before this movie, I had never felt so close to you, or rather, you were so close to me. ]
[For a long time, I feel like a prisoner bound by shackles. I can only look up at you who are standing on the altar out of reach through the gap in the dungeon, and pass on my joys and sorrows to you. But after watching this movie, you seem to have stepped down from the altar, untied my shackles, and helped me regain my freedom. ]
[The ending of the movie made me feel relieved for the first time in so many years. Maybe this is not your intention, but I believe that somewhere, this is the direction you pointed me to. ]
[For me, this should be the best ending. ]
[Thank you. ]
At the end of the letter, the signer is: Fang Mao.
"This is the first time I know his real name." Jiang Liu smiled deeply, "The second time I saw it, it was in the news that he committed suicide by jumping off a building."
Xia Xiai wanted to say something to comfort her, but she didn't know where to start.
Jiang Liushen saw his hesitation: "It's okay, I've almost let it go now. Although I was really hit hard at the beginning, my mother even blocked his Weibo in order to suppress the news, and I was arguing with her. After a fight, I took a break and left the country."
"Auntie should be worried about you too..."
"Well, I know, but my emotions were a little broken at the time. People who have known me for ten years suddenly said they were gone because they watched my movie, and because of me, even the traces of their existence were erased. I really can't. Accept. During that time, I kept thinking, What the hell am I doing? Is it really right to be immersed in my career? If this happens again in the future, would it be better for me not to act at all?"
Xia Xiai hurriedly said, "It's not your fault."
"My family has said this to me many times, but I still feel remorse and remorse untilβ" Jiang Liu smiled and pinched his face, "until I met you."
Xia Xiai was stunned: "Me?"
"Yes, you. I didn't take care of you as him, so as to make up for my regret. Because from the moment I knew your background, I felt that you two were completely different."
"That night in Athens, what you said to me made me completely sober. It was also from that time that I began to think, why your life experience is worse than his, but you can survive on your own tenaciously. I have never given up hope. In the process, I was gradually redeemed and attracted by you."
Jiang Liushen's eyes softened: "You may really be a little angel who descended to earth. If I hadn't met you, I don't know how long it would have taken me to come out."
"I didn't do anything... I also misunderstood you, misunderstood him, sorry." Xia Xiai said guilty, "I didn't know he was such a pitiful person..."
Jiang Liushen shook his head: "He is not pitiful. If he was still alive, he would definitely not be happy to hear such evaluations. Because he also worked hard to fight the disease in his heart, and finally defeated it, but in a way of perishing together. From another point of view, he is also brave and tenacious. If he thinks that is the best ending, we have no right to judge good or bad."
"Well... if you can think that way, it shows that you have really let go."
"If I can't let go, I have to let it go. I can't live in the past and stop moving forward, otherwise, wouldn't it be like you said before, I would have let down his expectations for me?" Jiang Liushen stretched and spit out a long mouth. Turbidly, he smiled, "Actually, there is still guilt. If I had been more careful and paid more attention to him, this might not have happened."
"But maybe, nothing I can do can change his final outcome, who knows."
"I can't salvage the fact that he left. Instead of living in guilt, it's better to carry his wish and move on, become a better actor, and help other people like him."
"The most important thing is that career is no longer all that I am obsessed with. I began to learn to cherish the really important things around me, such as friendship, such as family, such asβ"
Jiang Liushen stretched out his hand and tapped the tip of Xia Xiai's nose:
"you."