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Chapter 43
Pain is just a psychological impulse, and only cowards cry out for pain.
This is the creed that Qin Sheng taught Qin Yuchi since he was a child.
If you want to divide your life into different stages, Qin Yuchi will divide your life into three stages.
In the first stage, he lived in Qin Sheng's cage, using acting as an escape, experiencing short-term freedom.
In the second stage, he escapes from the dark cage to another bright cage, which is huge and covered with the skins of palaces and manors, which Lin Shu built for him.
And in the final brief phase, the master of the palace dies, the castle collapses, and the guards are scattered.The door opened automatically, but he was unwilling to come out, restrained himself, and was willing to stay behind.
The first time we met was at a reception.
Qin Yuchi still remembers that there were not many young people in the reception, so he noticed Lin Shu right away.
In terms of appearance alone, at first glance, Lin Shu could easily be regarded as a courtesan, or the love interest of a junior, because she is so beautiful.
Especially those eyes, there is a faint sense of charm, when those eyes pass by you by chance, you will unconsciously stand tall and straight, and express yourself as if you are fighting for the right to be a spouse.
But as long as you take a few more glances, you will know that Lin Shu cannot be someone's love interest, because the wantonness in his gestures cannot be pretended.
Wherever Lin Shu stood, he would be the center of the crowd.Even the elders would go up to talk to him, even if it was just a few simple greetings.
Qin Yuchi had never seen such a young master from such a family, so he kept secretly hiding in the corner, and his eyes were unconsciously attracted by Lin Shu.
This reception was meaningless, it was just a gathering for Bian Xinglan to show off his personal connections, everyone drank and drank, and it was also for Lin Shu to raise his status in the next generation.
Of course, where there are people, there will be trade in flesh and blood, and it will grow in the dark, but these filths have nothing to do with Lin Shu.
Hiding in the dark light, he watched Lin Shu pouring wine cup after cup, chatting and laughing happily, like a handsome young master, until after three rounds of drinking, his fair face was stained with a drunken blush.
Lin Shu handed the wine glass to the waiter, and went to the bathroom alone, his steps were unsteady, as if he was about to fall.
My heart itch.
Qin Yuchi couldn't tell what he was possessed by, but he was probably attracted by that wantonness, so he put the water glass on the table, bypassed the moving crowd, and followed him to the bathroom.
Qin Yuchi just wanted to take a closer look at Lin Shu, but after entering the door, he found Lin Shu lying on the ground, short of breath.
He hurriedly scooped him up, Lin Shu was very light, so he hugged Lin Shu without much effort.
Just now Lin Shu's complexion was rosy, but now it is much paler, and the color of his lips has also faded, making him look very weak.
Qin Yuchi didn't think much about it, and wanted to carry him out and send him to the hospital.
Lin Shu felt very uncomfortable and kept struggling. His shirt shrank up with the struggle, revealing a thin waist.
Qin Yuchi was startled, and quickly pulled down his shirt to cover up his fair skin.
Lin Shu, however, was like a stranded fish, arching outwards like crazy, almost falling out of his embrace, and fell to the ground again.
"Don't move," Qin Yuchi carried him back, patted Lin Shu's back lightly, and coaxed in a low voice, "Be more obedient, and I'll take you to the hospital."
Miraculously, Lin Shu stopped making trouble after listening to the words, calmed down, and hung in his arms obediently, like a beautiful doll that can be manipulated by others.
Qin Yuchi went out with Lin Shu in his arms, and instead of going back to the reception, he asked the waiter to call an ambulance and went to the nearest hospital.
After Lin Shu had the injection and was sleeping on the hospital bed, Qin Yuchi belatedly remembered to notify Bian Xinglan.
But Bian Xinglan must have been drunk, and no one answered the phone, so Qin Yuchi could only sit by the bed, taking naps from time to time, planning to wait for Lin Shu to wake up before leaving.
Throughout the night, Qin Yuchi didn't sleep well, he was half asleep and half awake. When he woke up, he would check to see if Lin Shu had covered himself with the quilt. He closed his eyes and secretly imagined what Lin Shu would say to him when he woke up tomorrow.
Will you ask what his name is?
Will you say "thank you" to him?
Qin Yuchi didn't know, but his heart was beating a little fast, and he didn't understand what was wrong with him.
But life is always against him, and things will never develop as expected.
The moment Lin Shu opened his eyes, he was like the countless people he had seen asking him what his purpose was, what he wanted, money or resources.
Qin Yuchi has seen this look several times.
After the group went bankrupt, he saw it in the eyes of his former friends; after joining the circle, he also saw it in the eyes of investors who were playing tickets.
It's a kind of guarding from the superior, accompanied by unbearable disdain, like a blunt knife, it won't hurt you, it will only make you feel as if you are suffocating.
No matter how glamorous and unrestrained, Lin Shu is still the proud son of a family, and he just looks down on ordinary people like him.
this is normal.
The beating heart quickly returned to normal.
Qin Yuchi stood up, evoked a formula smile, and explained like a thousand times before, "You misunderstood, Mr. Lin, I don't want anything."
After leaving the ward, he thought that would be the last time he and Lin Shu would see each other, but he didn't expect it to be the beginning.
When "Bitter Life" was notified to withdraw, Qin Yuchi was dumbfounded. He even thought it was because of the subject matter.
Until Bian Xinglan hinted to him that it was Lin Shu's handwriting, and personally notified him to suspend the filming of "Floating Gate".
"Does Mr. Lin still think that I have evil intentions? If I offended him that day, I can apologize and make up for it." At that time, Qin Yuchi still didn't understand what Lin Shu meant.
"No offense, Shu'er probably likes you." Bian Xinglan didn't dare to look at Qin Yuchi, with a pity on his face, "Anyway, don't fight him, just be a little softer, and you'll get over it soon."
It will be over soon...
Qin Yuchi thought Bian Xinglan was wrong.
Lin Shu obviously didn't like him, but just couldn't understand him.Because even in the movie, he has never seen any character like someone in this way.
So Qin Yuchi went to Lin Shu's house, wanting to explain that he didn't have any wrong intentions, saying that this movie was the work of many people, and wanted Lin Shu to raise his hand and clear up the misunderstanding.
After hearing his apology, Lin Shu sneered disdainfully, hooked his neck quickly, leaned closer and said, "I don't need your apology, I want you, understand?"
He pushed Lin Shu away and backed away hastily, not understanding why Lin Shu's attitude changed drastically, becoming as frivolous as Bian Xinglan.
"Mr. Lin, please conduct yourself with dignity." He kept a wary distance, for fear that Lin Shu would make another frivolous move.
Lin Shu didn't come any closer, but smiled and said with confidence, "It doesn't matter if you don't want to now, I will always make you kneel willingly."
After leaving Lin Shu's house, Qin Yuchi still couldn't figure it out.
If Lin Shu really liked him, why did he use these methods to flog him?
Is there anything about him that Lin Shu likes?
However, Qin Yuchi soon got the answer, after Sun Yin and several directors decided to quit the circle after countless of his movies were taken off the shelves.
At that time, he had been idle at home for more than a month, and lied to Qin Sheng that he was busy with the film crew, but actually did nothing.
Sun Yin approached him before going abroad, and the two gathered in a cheap coffee shop.
For the filming of "Bitter Life", Sun Yin had already incurred some debts, coupled with Vanity Fair's well-informed information, investors got hints from Lin Shu, and the capital chain of the revolving shaft was quickly broken, making it difficult for Sun Yin to move forward.
"Yuchi, I probably won't come back again," Sun Yin said with a wry smile, "Lao Fang and the others don't plan to do any more filming, but I plan to go abroad for two years. If it still doesn't work, I'll give up completely."
Listening to Sun Yin's words, Qin Yuchi clenched his fingers tightly.
In just one month, not only was he withdrawn from the film, even other directors were not spared.
It was as if they were inconspicuous ants, and Lin Shu could crush them to pieces with just one look.
But obviously, they are real people, and they just want to show their own movies on the big screen. What's wrong with this?
"We old bastards escaped, you..." Sun Yin sighed, "Be smarter, pretend to be soft, and wait for his interest to pass."
Qin Yuchi lowered his eyes and said nothing, Sun Yin persuaded: "This circle is controlled by capital, and this kind of thing is not uncommon in the circle. People like them are like this, you have to bear with it a little bit, and when he has had enough fun, he will let go."You have a way out, so don't confront him head-on."
Yes.
He has always regarded Lin Shu as the star-studded favorite at the reception, but he has neglected that Lin Shu is actually just like those dudes, vicious and arrogant.
There was nothing Lin Shu liked about him.
Lin Shu didn't like him either, but wanted a glamorous star, an obedient dog, wanted him to be a puppet that wouldn't resist, wanted him to wag his tail and beg.
He played the suffering of others in "Bitter Life", but in reality, no matter how glamorous he is, he is also a "farmer" controlled by capital.
After sending Sun Yin away, Qin Yuchi returned home in a daze, and received a strange call in the dark.
"What are you doing?" Lin Shu's voice came from the receiver, so comfortable, as if he was not the one who caused all these sufferings.
Qin Yuchi clenched his teeth and held his breath, facing the moon in silence for twenty seconds, "Mr. Lin, are you free now? I want to find you."
For a short period of time, Qin Yuchi hated Lin Shu.
The reason why say it short is because he fell in love with Lin Shu very quickly.
Lin Shu is very good at playing with people's hearts, and has the "benevolence" that is standard for capitalists. This kind of benevolence is a large amount of compensation after persecution, which will make people dizzy.
First, Sun Yin's new film abroad was sponsored by a large amount of funds, and then other directors were given several business cooperation opportunities.
When a person reaches the bottom and is fed compensation by the perpetrator, the hatred will disappear a lot, because human nature is cheap, and he is no exception.
Perhaps, there are only two types of love, one is the surrender of Mu Qiang, and the other is the control in the palm of your hand.
Lin Shu was originally an excellent person. From a career point of view, he was not a dude at all, but a high-ranking person who was respected by everyone.
It is such a proud son who will personally drive him to the set, take him to run on different mountains, and kiss his lips lightly in the sky thousands of miles above.
During the day, he became Lin Shu's doll, surrendering to Lin Shu's careless love and excellence.
But in the middle of the night, he could grab Lin Shu's wrist and restrain his slender ankle, and just jump into the river of desire, drowning.
Lin Shu was so beautiful, when those eyes were full of water and looked at him absent-mindedly, Qin Yuchi knew that he was finished.
Even if he covered his eyes, his deceptive mouth would say, "Brother, can you hug me?"
He controlled Lin Shu at night, and silently surrendered during the day. He had tasted every kind of love, so he couldn't get enough of it.
For a long time, Qin Yuchi was unwilling to admit that he liked Lin Shu.
He attributed those heartbeats to sex, he threw himself into the river of desire, thinking about nothing, numb and let go.
So when Lin Shu "rescued" him from home on New Year's Day and they hugged each other tightly in the snow, Qin Yuchi realized the truth belatedly.
He really fell in love with Lin Shu.
This realization made Qin Yuchi panic.
At the very beginning, he just wanted to annoy Lin Shu with his silence, so that Lin Shu would soon hate him.
So Lin Shu didn't care about Tao Lian's inexplicable hostility and didn't explain it, so he wanted to be a mute so that he could be free as soon as possible.
But now, he has long been used to silence, and he can't speak at all when dealing with Lin Shu, only a deep sense of helplessness.
When Lin Shu was angry, he knew what he should say to explain, but he would just subconsciously avoid it, and he couldn't say anything.
Lin Shu was always angry, and then complained and acted cutely, Qin Yuchi gradually tasted the sweetness from it.
A terrible thought arises spontaneously.
If he was always so indifferent, Lin Shu wouldn't get bored with him, would he?
In this way, will they be able to maintain the status quo until they die?
In this way, he would occasionally fall into a strange vanity, as if as long as Lin Shu was angry for him, it would prove that he held a high position in Lin Shu's heart.
When they fell into the river of desire, they hugged each other tightly and exchanged warmth, like ordinary lovers.
But when the tide of emotion subsided, he looked at the dull ceiling, and boundless loneliness surged up again, reminding Qin Yuchi that he was not Lin Shu's lover, he was just a glamorous doll.
He hated that he fell in love with Lin Shu, and also hated that Lin Shu treated him as a plaything.
He hated being numb and letting go, falling into the torrent of capital, and also panicked that one day, Lin Shu would pat his butt and leave, leaving him alone to be submerged in the torrent, sinking in a world of luxury.
His box office is increasing day by day, and his commercial value has reached the peak, but he will no longer have thought-provoking works, and he will only leave a pile of commercial garbage for the world to laugh at after his death.
His life seemed to be over.
Qin Yuchi thought this way countless times.
He was rescued from Qin Sheng's small cage by Lin Shu, but he fell into Lin Shu's big cage again, and the bright and bright cage would confuse him and weaken his will, turning him into a waste of instant enjoyment.
He is torn apart, reason and emotion are attacking each other, and he will feel better only when he throws himself into the river of desire and paralyzes his brain.
That's why Lin Shu always said that he was a barbarian. He looked polite, but he was actually a beast with high desires.
Qin Yuchi also felt the same way, only when Lin Shuhong bit him with eyes and made painful tooth marks on his arm, would he try to restrain himself a little.
After a long time, Qin Yuchi became numb, and felt that there was nothing wrong with it, so he let his life go on like this, since his life was over anyway.
Until Qin Ximo died.
Qin Yuchi loves Qin Ximo very much, because in the long past, Qin Ximo always shared half of the pain for him.
Qin Yuchi is more willing to treat Qin Ximo as a playmate than his sister who needs to be cared for.
If he was the only one to endure Qin Sheng's shackles, he might go mad again and again, either becoming a control freak or a demented lunatic.
But if two people bear it together, it will be different.
Whether it was punishment or pain, as long as Qin Ximo endured it with him, he would not suffer so much, and even grow into a fairly healthy person.
Qin Ximo's death dealt a blow to Qin Yuchi, and woke him up a little from his insensitivity, but not much.
He couldn't help but blame Lin Shu and himself, even though they were all indirect factors.
Qin Yuchi thought several times, even if Lin Shu disagreed, he must go out on time that night, so what could Lin Shu do?Could it be possible to eat him?
Even if Lin Shu threatened others, he wouldn't run away, wouldn't he hug him after he got home?
As Qin Sheng taught, he never yelled for pain, but he seemed like a coward.
He allowed himself to be numb, so God punished him by making him lose Qin Ximo forever.
For a long time after Qin Ximo's death, Qin Yuchi couldn't get out. On the one hand, he hated himself for being cowardly, and on the other hand, he blamed Lin Shu for being arrogant.
No matter what he looked at, Qin Yuchi's eyes were full of hatred, he couldn't get used to seeing anything, and his heart was upset, and when he saw himself in the mirror, he felt the most disgusting, wishing to stab himself in the mirror to death with a knife.
Because of Qin Ximo's death, Lin Shu restrained himself a lot, stopped threatening him with others, and became more cautious.
They entered a delicate Cold War phase.
Lin Shu had nothing to do with him, and he didn't know how to face Lin Shu. They always looked at each other speechlessly, even when they were in love, they were silent.
When the pain of losing a loved one gradually subsides, late autumn has come, and winter is coming.
Qin Yuchi finally decided not to be a numb person anymore, he can no longer be Lin Shu's doll, and listen to Lin Shu's words in everything, he has to be a person with self-awareness.
And precisely because of this decision, he indirectly harmed Lin Shu.
In the early morning of November 3, he received a message from Tao Zhuo: "Come out, there is something urgent."
Tao Zhuo's message came in the early hours of the morning.
Under Lin Shu's control, he hadn't seen Tao Zhuo for a long time at that time, and usually only communicated on WeChat.
In the past, Qin Yuchi would never go out in the middle of the night because Lin Shu didn't allow it.
But now, he has decided not to be numb anymore, he quietly looked at Lin Shu's sleeping face for a few seconds, then got out of bed and went out.
In fact, Tao Zhuo had nothing important to do, but he broke up with Gao Jingge and was dying, so he insisted on asking him to come out and get drunk.
Qin Yuchi didn't drink, but listened to Tao Zhuo's drunken chatter.
Tao Zhuo said that Gao Jingge was ruthless, that he was an artificial intelligence without emotion, that he would divide it if he said it, and fly directly to Europe if he divided it, leaving no room for him to stay.
He has met Gao Jingge many times, and he doesn't feel that he is like an artificial intelligence. He is clearly a kindergarten teacher, and he loves to supervise Lin Shu.
After listening to Tao Zhuo's complaints, Qin Yuchi drove him home, and he returned home before dawn.
In the first half of the night, they made love fiercely for a long time, Lin Shu fell asleep, and did not wake up when he got home.
So when he washed off the smell of tobacco and alcohol on his body, and returned to the bedroom lightly, Lin Shu was woken up by him, and when he asked him where he had been, he lied and said that he had just had a nightmare and went to take a shower.
And it was this lying that became the first trigger of Lin Shu's final death.
He, Bian Xinglan, Lin Gang, each of them made the choice they thought was right, but instead created an irreparable tragedy, giving Lin Qixin and Tao Lian a chance to pass on, and making Lin Shu finally die in the fire.
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