Holding the ruddy apple with thin white fingers, it pressed against Garcia's cheek through the platinum curly hair.

Jiang Jianming kept his arms raised, his eyes were like a pool of still water, and nothing could disturb his emotions.

That's it, he thought.

He hoped that Garcia would behave better, just take the apple like this, walk home with him, and spend the night well.

It has been three full years that no one has accompanied him for the holidays.

Garcia grabbed his wrist violently, with such force that his bones creaked.Jiang Jianming was in pain, the apple just fell on the floor, rolled around twice and landed on the toe of His Royal Highness's shoe.

The sound of firecrackers outside the window gradually dissipated, and in the office behind her, the empress Lin Song, the leader, and Marshal Chen were all silent.

Garcia stared at Jiang Jianming, the corners of his eyes gradually turned red, and his eyes were violent, as if he wanted to eat the flesh and blood of the cruel human being in front of him.

His Adam's apple rolled and he opened his mouth several times.But there was only a heavy gasp leaking from his lips, he couldn't speak, he couldn't say anything.

Jiang Jianming lowered his head, his black hair covering his eyes.He hoped that Garcia would accept his fate like this, just like Lai An hoped that he could accept his fate like this——

Don't struggle so embarrassingly, trying to restore something that is irretrievable.

After an unknown amount of time, Garcia finally recovered his voice and asked softly, "Why don't you get crystal disorder?"

Not reconciled, not giving up, not daring to face and deceive oneself.All in this one question.

Jiang Jianming looked at him, a sense of exhaustion welled up in his limbs.

The heavy bag fell to the ground with a muffled sound. He looked at the scarred marks on his hands and smiled sadly.

"Because I am also a chronic crystal disorder patient, Your Highness."

Garcia shook violently. He held onto the wall next to him tensely, and took a deep breath.

Garcia: "...does he know, before leaving you."

Jiang Jianming: "No."

Garcia suddenly raised his head and roared, "Impossible!"

"It's possible, little Keos."

Footsteps tapped on the floor crisply, and Lin Song's voice came from behind Jiang Jianming, "What do you think? In this empire, it is not easy for ordinary people to suffer from chronic crystal disorder—unless they take the initiative to seek death."

Garcia was struck by a thunderbolt.

He was simply overwhelmed by shock for a second, and then came the hidden meaning behind this sentence.

The fear instantly froze the spine and the blood in the whole body, and the ensuing severe pain easily tore the heart.

Jiang Jianming turned back: "Your Majesty!"

Garcia clasped his shoulder in disbelief: "You...!?"

"He always needs to know, obviously, long-term pain is worse than short-term pain, right?"

The empress stood still at the door.She squinted her eyes, put her arm on Jiang Jianming's shoulder, and tapped the pale young man's chin with her fingernails: "To be honest, before Lai An died... you didn't suffer from crystal disorder, did you?"

Garcia was dizzy for a while, his fingertips trembled violently, and he could hardly hold Jiang Jianming's thin shoulder blades.

God, he thought, if there is one.

Why be so cruel, even if you favor me once, or favor him once.

"……Sorry."

Jiang Jianming said so.The sadness that was so thick that it couldn't be erased appeared again in the depths of his pupils, and he coughed twice in a low voice.

"Your Highness Garcia, if I knew I would meet you..."

I must not be willing to let you taste such pain.

Jiang Jianming raised his pale face, his melancholy eyes fell on the distant sky outside the window.

"But if I didn't choose to take this path that night, and I couldn't have the confidence to go to the distant interstellar, naturally I wouldn't be able to meet you."

"So I don't regret it."

He took a step forward, stepped over the red apple that fell on the ground, and passed by the pale-faced Garcia.

"I don't regret that night, using dead crystals to actively infect myself with chronic crystal disorder."

...

In fact, there is nothing to say.

It's just a choice that has no other choice.

Long before he set off, Jiang Jianming knew it well.If he decides to go to the far interstellar, then his final destination is very likely to be Crystal Nest—the place where Lai An is going.

However, in the crystal particle environment there, even new human beings will die violently due to acute crystal disturbance if they are not careful.For disabled humans, it is a gate of hell that is absolutely impossible to approach.

He is not afraid of death, but he also does not like to risk his life in vain.What's more, Jing Chao is contagious, and the act of burying his teammates or even the entire army together for his own personal affection is far beyond his bottom line.

"Jiang, give up."

Audrey once begged him, "Impossible, don't go crazy..."

At that time, Jiang Jianming was still wearing the blue uniform of the military academy. He had beautiful eyebrows and eyes, and he looked like a young man, but his expression already had the later calmness and slight melancholy.

"What about you, Patriarch Lance?" He smiled, "Pretend to be a new human being, and live a tightrope-walking life every day, knowing that if you are exposed, the world will collapse, aren't you crazy?"

"I……"

Audrey took a deep breath, lowered her head, and pressed the corners of her eyes with both hands.

"Oh, my God, I," she kept shaking her head, said bitterly, "but how can I look at you..."

"I've made a plan," Jiang Jianming said frankly, "Use the snow dove to jump to the far interstellar space and be exposed to the crystal particle environment... There is a possibility of acute crystal disorder, which is my bad luck;Chronic crystal disorder, if it's the latter, I don't have any worries."

Audrey jumped up, surprised and angry: "Jiang Jianming!"

She walked around in front of Jiang Jianming, shaking her best friend's shoulders emotionally, her voice trembling, "Jiang, are you talking nonsense with a fever, do you know what it means!?"

"Chronic crystal disorder? How would you have thought that... after you get sick, your physique will become weaker and weaker, and the pain of the disease will intensify every year, so you still want to join the army? This is impossible!"

"You probably won't live for five years, or even three years..." Audrey's voice was hoarse, she couldn't continue, and she closed her eyes again.

"Jiang, you also read history. In that dark age, ninety-nine out of ten patients with chronic crystal disorder chose to commit suicide. Why, because they couldn't endure the pain! You really want to take chronic crystal disorder to the far interstellar!?"

Jiang Jianming smiled wryly while holding his forehead, he turned his head embarrassingly, and said lightly: "Of course I don't want to, but I'm a crippled human being with no power or power."

"Isn't this... there is no other way?"

Apart from this life, and a little bit of comfort for the rest of his life, he had nothing else to mortgage.

So he put what he had left on the balance of fate.

...on this day, the lights of the Lance family stayed on late into the night.

In the end, Audrey, who couldn't persuade her, could only reluctantly accept her best friend's decision.

She took out a transparent crystal in a box, its appearance was harmless to humans and animals, like a piece of beautiful jade.

This is the first time Jiang Jianming has seen a dead crystal.

"Don't go to Far Interstellar, use it." Audrey said softly, "It's controllable, so at least there is no danger of acute crystal disorder."

"Wear it close to your body for two hours. It will be very painful for the first time. If you want, you can stay at... my house."

Jiang Jianming thanked and accepted the dead crystal, but rejected Audrey's suggestion.

He said, "No more trouble, I will think about it myself."

Regarding the rest of your life, you should really think more carefully.

Without any explanation, Audrey grabbed a few more sedatives and stuffed them to him together with the box containing the dead crystals.

"If you regret it, you can throw it back in the box at any time before the onset and come back to me with a sedative. Tomorrow I will have the doctor waiting overnight."

Jiang Jianming can only say thank you again.

The next day, he took the box containing the dead crystals and went to the highest mountain in Aslan Star City.

The top of the mountain will be the closest place to the starry sky, where he is going to make his final decision and watch a seasonal meteor shower by the way.

According to the forecast, the meteor shower will be rare in decades, and Lai An once promised to go with him.

According to the plan, they can climb the mountain together, camp on the top of the mountain, raise a bonfire, and watch Xing Xing childishly side by side.

... Now that he is the only one left, it is destined to be a miserable journey.

But soon, Jiang Jianming realized another truth: When a person is abandoned by luck, the bad things don't stop there.

The next day, at the foot of the mountain.

The sky was cloudy and the rain was pouring.

Jiang Jianming was drenched all over. He was panting under the eaves with his heavy backpack on his back, looking up at the heavy rain with a dead face... There was a faint rumble of thunder in the distance.

why.

Why is it always like this.

The surrounding area was also blocked by the weather, and the passengers who came here to hide from the rain sighed:

"It's raining so much."

"Ouch...that's not okay."

"Go back, go back."

The people dispersed quickly, Jiang Jianming didn't leave, he hadn't recovered from the blow.Now, it is impossible for Lai An to accompany him, he knows.

So he just wanted to be alone, walking, climbing up the mountain to watch the meteor shower overnight.

"..."

Jiang Jianming gritted his teeth and lowered his head, his clenched fingers trembling.

Is it extravagant?Is this his extravagant wish??

Or did the God of Destiny think in the dark that the suppression imposed on him was not heavy enough, and the training was not cruel enough?

The familiar anger turned into a prairie fire in his heart, easily burning the last bit of hesitation into flying ashes.

Jiang Jianming threw off his backpack suddenly, took two steps forward and plunged into the heavy rain. The cold raindrops slammed on his pale face frantically, and his black hair and long clothes were soaked immediately.

He took out the dead crystal and held it tightly in his palm, threw the box away with a raised hand, and walked up the mountain road in the rain.

Whether a rain can stop his footsteps, whether a person's departure can break his spine.

Is it possible to cut off all his grief, indignation and unwillingness just by relying on the four words of human race?

Rumbling... Lightning and thunder.

The boots stepped into the muddy water, and the water droplets splashed everywhere.

Just a humble crippled human being.

It's just Jiang Jianming.

He fell in the rain and bumped against rocks.The fingers thrust into the soil convulsively, and the blades of grass cut through the white and tender skin.

The world is cold, Jiang Jianming shivered while supporting the tree trunk, he began to vomit blood, the blood was quickly washed away by the rain, and flowed down the rugged rock cracks.

He tightly held the dead crystal that was depriving him of his life, but it seemed that he was holding the last straw to save his life.

The distant sky was brightened for a moment and then darkened, the thunder continued, and the mountain rain became heavier.

Two hours later, the symptoms of chronic crystal disorder flared up on Jiang Jianming.

At that time, he was panting behind the shadow of the tree beaten by the strong wind, and suddenly, a sharp pain that was a thousand times better than before directly bit his nerve.

"what……!!"

Jiang Jianming's eyes were completely dark, and he fell straight down, with uncontrollable screams erupting from his throat.

... so fast, but he hasn't reached the top of the mountain yet.

This was the last sober thought, the crystal particles in the flesh and blood began to rebel, the pain swept through the whole body, and it became difficult to breathe.

He convulsed in pain in the muddy water, and was so nauseous that he wanted to vomit, spitting out mouthfuls of blood, until he lay on the grass and muddy water like a ghost.

Is this... the rest of my... life?

Jiang Jianming thought this way in his half-drowsy, half-awake state, there was no way out, there was only a steep cliff in front of him, only cold, pain, exhaustion and loneliness.

His dark pupils were dilated, and he couldn't see anything, only tears flowed down silently... mixed with rain, cold sweat and blood.

He wasn't afraid, and he didn't regret it, he was just sad.

"Lai..." Jiang Jianming closed his eyes, choked with sobs and let out a soft cry, "Lai An..."

Later, Jiang Jianming had hallucinations due to the severe bone erosion all over his body.

He seemed to see a sea of ice, Lai An knelt on the ice, pinched his neck with his palms, and pushed him into the deep sea.

The prince's emerald eyes are still ice-thin and beautiful, without any emotion. Behind him is the vast sea of stars, which is the legendary crystal nest.

He was struggling underwater near death, his wide-open eyes reflected the ice surface shining with starlight, he wanted to call Lai An's name, but the cold and salty seawater poured into his nose, nose, trachea, and lungs, squeezing away hislife.

At the moment when the pain of suffocation reached its peak, he couldn't tell the difference between the deep sea and the starry sky.

Same darkness, same coldness.

In the pouring rain, Jiang Jianming passed out completely.

The memory after that was fragmented, but it was just a repetition of waking up from the pain and then fainting from the pain.From the beginning to the end, no one found him, no one came to rescue him, and he enjoyed the whole night of torture alone.

In a trance, the barrier between illusion and reality becomes blurred, like wisps of fog that blow away.

He seemed to see that the rain had stopped and the clouds had dispersed.The washed night sky is clearer than ever, like a piece of dark blue glass.

A red-gold meteor shower streaked across the sky, and thousands of bright colors rushed towards him like birds returning to their nests. don't know if it was a dream or an illusion.