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Chapter 10 "Cheng Yu, I have recovered my memory."
When the meal was ready, Cheng Yu helped him carry the food out.
Lin Anlan scooped the porridge and put it in front of him.
"You eat, I'm leaving first."
Cheng Yu looked up at him in shock, "You... don't you eat together?"
"I'm not going to eat anymore," Lin Anlan said warmly, "You have finished eating, rest early."
Cheng Yu didn't want to eat anymore.
He stood quietly, expressing his emotions silently.
"Let's go together." Cheng Yu whispered, "I haven't eaten with you for a long time."
In fact, it didn't take long, Lin Anlan thought, they were separated, it was only a few days, and ten days were not there, it was not a long time.
Cheng Yu turned and went into the kitchen, took a bowl, scooped a bowl of porridge for him, and put it on the opposite side of him, "Let’s go after eating, it’s time for dinner."
Lin Anlan couldn't, so she sat down and ate a meal with him.
He made the meal, which was naturally to his appetite. Lin Anlan lowered his head and drank the porridge, not knowing what to say.
Cheng Yu knew what to say. He said, "I haven't had such a delicious meal in a long time."
Lin Anlan raised his eyes and glanced at him, saying that he was really sweet.
It's just home cooking, so he thinks it tastes delicious, "Then you eat more."
"Yeah." Cheng Yu smiled at him.
He looks good with a smile, probably because he is still ill, his face is pale, and he has a sense of innocence and purity, just like a childish child.
Lin Anlan looked at the clarity in his eyes, pondered for a long time, and whispered to him, "Cheng Yu, I have recovered my memory."
Cheng Yu's smile disappeared instantly, replaced by shock and anxiety.
He stared at him blankly, his whole person was stunned, and there was fear in his eyes visible to the naked eye.
"So, I'm still thinking about it," Lin Anlan said to him, "I haven't figured it out yet."
Cheng Yu nodded unconsciously, lowered his head hastily, covering up his anxiety and dared not to look at him.
He didn't expect Lin Anlan to restore his memory. Lin Anlan who restored his memory and Lin Anlan who lost his memory were different to him.
He dared to admit his mistake like Lin Anlan, who was amnesia, and hoped that he forgive him, because he knew that Lin Anlan loved him in those days when they got along.
But he didn't dare to look directly at Lin Anlan who recovered his memory, let alone hope that he forgive him, because he knew that Lin Anlan before his memory loss did not love him, at least, he did not like him in love.
He had been together for only five months, and Lin Anlan had avoided him for eight years. Compared with the two, five months seemed so insignificant, not enough to make him feel that he could shake Lin Anlan's mind.
What's more, on the basis of deceit, he was despicably with him for five months.
"I'm sorry." He lowered his head. "I'm too selfish, I'm sorry."
Lin Anlan saw that he was about to bury his face in the bowl, but smiled softly, "You have apologized many times, and I received it, so there is no need to apologize anymore."
Only then did Cheng Yu dared to look up at him, and saw that he was calm, drinking porridge with a calm expression on his face.
"Do you hate me?" he asked.
Lin Anlan has heard of this question, and Josiah has asked him.
His answer at the time was that he didn't hate so much, and his answer is still the same now.
"Not that hate." He said, "What I said, we are both responsible for this matter. My fault is that I should take the initiative to seduce your lust and selfishness, and shouldn't you be wrong for your own sake. Selfishness and ** really lied to me. So I am the inducement, and you are the main reason, but you are always the more responsible, so I cannot think that you are not at all wrong, but if you want to talk about hate, you can't say it."
Hate this feeling is too serious and extravagant. Lin Anlan didn’t want to impose this feeling on him. He hated his mother when he was a child. Later, he lived happily in the Lin family, so he erased his hatred. Together with the person who erased his mother.
He didn't want to give him any more feelings. He left his feelings to his adoptive parents. He has only one mother in his entire life, and that is Lin Mu. As for his biological mother, he even knew what the other person looked like. forget.
She had already abandoned him, so she didn't deserve such a deep hatred from him.
Not caring is her best response.
So he would not hate Cheng Yu, not to mention, Cheng Yu really did not hate him deeply.
He had a very happy time when he lost his memory. Cheng Yu did his best to him. If he had someone he liked before he lost his memory, or if he didn’t deal with each other with Cheng Yu, then he might hate him. But he has nothing.
He doesn't have anyone he likes, and he doesn't hate Process Yu, so things are much simpler, not to mention that Cheng Yu also taught him about love.
He finally had a yearning and insight for love, instead of as before, he had no expectation of love, stuck in his own castle, refused to accept other people's love, and did not take the initiative to love others.
Cheng Yu has become a very important person to him.
In this life, there are three kinds of emotions that are the most sincere and the most unforgettable, family affection, friendship, and love. Among these three kinds of affection, family affection is born, blood is thicker than water, and the most reliable and easy to obtain.
Lin Anlan’s family relationship is a little harder than others, but fortunately, he has obtained it, so he respects and loves his adoptive parents, and his adoptive parents will always be the people he loves most in his heart.
Friendship and love are the feelings that people get in interpersonal communication. These two feelings are not connected by blood, so they need to be artificially maintained. And because he was born in interpersonal communication, many times, the first friend, the first A lover becomes a very important existence to oneself.
Jiang Xu is Lin Anlan's first friend. He is a friend who has been with him through time and has experienced many ups and downs. Therefore, he used to be very important and Lin Anlan trusted him very much.
And Cheng Yu, Cheng Yu was the first person Lin Anlan liked, the first person to teach him love, so Cheng Yu naturally became Lin Anlan's most important person in the field of love.
He is like a person who has just set foot on a new territory, with confusion and yearning for the unknown domain. He hesitates to be on this territory, not knowing whether to move forward.
But fortunately, he has a very good lover, a man who is willing to wait patiently for him and always love him.
Therefore, Lin Anlan still has time to think, and has time to slowly think clearly.
Of course, before that, he had to make sure that his boyfriend would not be so trembling and uneasy.
"I should actually hate you," he looked at Cheng Yu. "After all, you really lied to me. You are so courageous. No one has ever dared to lie to me like this. You know, I hate to lie. II don’t like being deceived, especially if you threaten others not to tell me that I was deceived."
When he said this, he couldn't help taking a closer look at Cheng Yu, "Why didn't I see that you are so powerful before, and dare to use other people's wives and children as threats, you are much more powerful than I thought.
Cheng Yu:...
Cheng Yu bowed his head to apologize, "I was wrong."
"Of course you are wrong, and you are very wrong."
Cheng Yu's head lowered lower.
"But it's also very strange," Lin Anlan said, "I know very clearly that you are wrong, but I can't blame you too much."
Cheng Yu looked at him in shock.
Lin Anlan looked down at the porridge in the bowl and stirred slowly with the spoon.
"The day I left, it was more sad than being deceived. I was sad that you lied to me. I don’t think you should lie to me. But if you don’t lie to me, where do I know what you are like? People, should you, will you?"
"The more I like you, the more angry and sad I am. I haven't recovered my memory at the time, so I was at a loss. I don't know if I should forgive you or if I am qualified to forgive you for me who has no amnesia, so I choose Leaving, I want to calm down and think about it."
Cheng Yu listened quietly, without speaking.
"Later, I recovered my memory. In fact, I recovered my memory. On the contrary, it was a lot easier than before. At least I am a me with a complete memory. I will no longer not know whether I should be qualified or not. I can take full control, so I actually feel a lot easier."
"You are also very lucky." He raised his eyes and glanced at Cheng Yu, "Before I amnesia, I have never liked other people, no boyfriend, no girlfriend, not even a crush, although I avoided you. , But it’s also because your father and Jiang Xu have nothing to do with you, let alone hate you. In this case, if you make a mistake, it becomes my first love."
Lin Anlan remembered that when they recorded variety shows, he said that he was his first love.
Although the origin is not correct, he is indeed his first love, but the time between the two of them has spanned too long. Eight years ago, Cheng Yu fell in love with him, and eight years later, he finally fell in love with Cheng Yu.
Although they are both the first love of the other party, they have crossed the two stages of juvenile and youth after eight years.
"I tried to find your shortcomings, your mistakes, so that I can hate you a little bit more, but I searched and searched, but I didn't find it.
Lin Anlan looked at him, "You are fine."
He said, "You are a good person, a good lover, and a good boyfriend."
"I am very happy to be liked by you, so I am very happy during the period of amnesia. Although I was cheated, I am really happy. More than five months are all happy memories. I can't find your shortcomings and mistakes. , And I can’t find any other reason to hate you except that you lied to me in the first place."
He thought that if he didn't come to Cheng Yu at that time, he went home alone, or went to find Jiang Xu, then maybe he would pass the amnesia period peacefully and smoothly, but maybe it would not be so pleasant. Comfortable.
Cheng Yu brought him not only love but also a sense of security, so although he lost his memory, he was not afraid of anything. He knew that he could go to Cheng Yu if he encountered difficulties, and he could ask Cheng Yu if he encountered any doubts. You can also consult Cheng Yu for things you want to know but don't know.
Cheng Yu knows everything, everything about him, everything about other people, he is willing to do anything, as long as it is what he wants.
He is not stupid. If it weren't for Cheng Yu to be too reliable and trustworthy from beginning to end, if it weren't for Cheng Yu to be gentle and considerate to him from beginning to end, how could he never doubt the relationship between them? relationship?
The best way to fool someone is to say that all you say is true, and all you do is true.
When everything is true, then there is no so-called illusion.