This is the first time Yan Hang has heard about his mother, but these things have been in his father's heart for more than ten years.

It's been so long that he doesn't seem to know how to express it, so he can only keep drinking, and finally falls asleep on the table.

Yan Hang sat at the table, staring at the table of dishes and the empty wine bottle in front of his father.

This "chat for a while" didn't last for half an hour.

But he felt very empty.

He knew his mother was dead, but he didn't expect it to be this way.

It was so sudden, without any precautions, without the slightest psychological preparation, even like a passer-by in a movie who passed by without even seeing his face.

A somewhat simplistic accident.

In addition to close relatives, after more than ten years, I am afraid that even if it is an unsolved case where the murderer has not been caught, few people will remember it.

It is occasionally mentioned, and no one can understand it. There are still people in this world who have suffered heavily for more than ten years because of this incident.

After his father said this, he was picked up by his grandparents and brought back to his father when he was four years old.

"It was almost stolen," Dad said. "I wish I had brought it back sooner."

Yan Hang doesn't have this memory, and his childhood memories are generally like dreams. They often need to be saved little by little after being prompted by his parents "when you were young", "when you were three years old" and "when you were five years old".

And Dad has never given such a reminder, so naturally he no longer remembers it.

But Yan Hang felt that the memory was not particularly good.

When mentioning his grandparents, he even faintly resisted these two relatives who had taken care of him for two years.

Dad didn't sleep well. From time to time, he would open his eyes, glance at him in confusion, then close his eyes and continue to sleep.

Yan Hang picked up his chopsticks and ate up the cold dishes while drinking.

"I raised a pig." Dad said in a daze.

"Go back to the house to sleep," Yan Hang said, "It's so uncomfortable to sleep on your stomach."

"How wonderful our prince is," Dad clapped his hand twice, "how wonderful."

"It's all like this, so don't be too busy to flatter yourself." Yan Hang smiled.

"How good," Dad lowered his voice, "I ruined it..."

Yan Hang frowned, stood up, grabbed Dad's arm and pulled him up, and put him into the house: "You sleep for a while."

"Are you saying that I'm being selfish?" Dad lay down on the bed and whispered, "I've also thought about forgetting it, for my son... But I can't, she's right next to me... just by my side……"

Dad clenched his fists: "It's ice-cold... I'm sorry for you... I've regretted it all my life, it's good if I didn't know your mother, it's good if I didn't get married, you said you don't want to go to school I'll be fine without you..."

Yan Hang sat beside the bed and waited until his father fell asleep and stopped talking, then got up and turned off the lights in the house, returned to the living room, and cleaned the dishes and chopsticks in the kitchen.

Usually when he's not in the mood, things like washing the dishes and cleaning up have to be thrown to the next day, but today's meal was really depressing, so he wanted to wash up quickly to erase this unpleasant trace.

Back in the house after taking a shower, he fell asleep much earlier than he normally sleeps, but a little sleepy.

Maybe he drank alcohol. He and his father often drink together, but they seldom drink like this. The two bottles of wine were almost drained in less than an hour, and now I feel a little dizzy.

His last lucid memory was to pick up the phone and glance at the small expressions in the circle of friends on the first day of the first day of the new year.

But he fell asleep without even remembering what the little expression was.

Yan Hang doesn't like dreaming very much. When he can't sleep well, he will have a lot of dreams. It's like watching a dozen dog-blood dramas at the same time. The key is that he can't remember a single frame after waking up.

I'll be very tired, as if haven't slept.

But this matter is not under his control, even at night like today, when he feels like he is in a coma when he closes his eyes, he must be able to sleep deeply.

He was still dreaming.

An aunt, and an uncle.

Both seemed to be wrapped in gray fog.

The aunt kept crying, and even strangled his neck to cry, he could not hear the sound of crying, nor did he feel suffocated when his neck was strangled... After all, it was in a dream.

But the fear was clear.

The uncle said that I didn't want to see him at a glance, turned my head and stared at him again, I didn't want to see you at all.

Then the scene changes.

It is you who should die.

It's all broken bits and pieces.

The swaying figures seemed to be shredded by the wind, with inaudible sounds, and scenes flashed like an incomplete stage play.

Everything disappeared when Yan Hang opened his eyes to clear it up, and when he opened the clutter that was still around him for a second, he retreated away the moment he opened his eyes.

It was so far away that it seemed like a dream from many years ago. The colors faded, the sound disappeared, and the feeling became chaotic.

Yan Hang frowned and rubbed his eyes.

I touched my phone and glanced at the time, and got up half an hour earlier than usual.

He sat beside the bed in a daze, those dreams that had faded so quickly that he could blow away with a sigh made him still a little dazed, and it took him a while to jump off the bed.

He put on his shoes and ran to his father's room. Yesterday, the doors of his two rooms were not closed, and he just wanted to listen to his father's movement.

There was no one in the room, and the quilt on the bed was not folded.

Yan Hang was nervous for a while, turned around and walked to the living room while shouting, "Old Yan!"

"Where's the toilet!" Dad's voice came from the toilet.

"What are you doing in the toilet?" Yan Hang breathed a sigh of relief and asked again inexplicably.

"I'm asking, can I still have breakfast in the toilet?" Dad said, "Do you really want me to answer truthfully?"

"What do you want to eat early?" Yan Hang asked again.

"Can I ask after I'm out?" Dad said.

"I'm sorry." Yan Hang smiled, walked to the window and sat on the windowsill.

It was earlier than usual this time, and could hear birds chirping happily from the big tree outside the door.

This voice, coupled with the people coming and going in front of him, made him relax slowly, leaning against the window frame in a daze.

I didn't see the first year of school passing by today. Probably after the crab came back, he couldn't get out of this way. He had to adjust the route to school according to the crab's crawling trajectory.

"Are you going to the music festival?" Dad stood behind him at some point.

"Huh?" Yan Hang looked back at his father, "Did you say you know the music festival in the place on the first day of the first day?"

"Yeah," Dad said, "take me one if you go."

"Do you still want to join in the fun?" Yan Hang smiled, "Then bring you."

"Do you need me to prepare a set of clothes that fit the theme?" Dad asked.

"Please keep your image of a normal handsome uncle," Yan Hang said. "Besides, on the first day of the first year, you are either wearing a school uniform or a set of sportswear that is one size smaller. You are too different. I am afraid that he will complain that you will not be able to bear it."

Dad smiled and squeezed his shoulder: "Son."

"Yeah." Yan Hang responded.

"I love you." Dad said.

Yan Hang was stunned and looked at him.

"Give me some face," Dad clicked, "What about the response?"

"Dad, I love you too." Yan Hang said.

"Is it alright to have a baked meal earlier?" Dad said, "You wake up so early today, you can't even fill the time without cooking a meal."

"...You asked me to cook you baked rice early in the morning? You still have to cook it now," Yan Hang glared at him, "You've been doing this for a long time, right?"

Dad smiled happily and sat on the sofa.

Yan Hang stared at him for a long time, and finally jumped off the window sill, took the ingredients from the refrigerator and went into the kitchen.

Dad seems to be back in his old state, and the painful memories of last night seem to have dissipated along with the wine.

But Yan Hang didn't find the ease and openness he wanted.

Are you looking, or are you hiding?

What do you want to do, or have you done?

What are those in the dream?

The answer to one question raises more questions.

And now he has no courage to ask again.

In today's self-study, the teacher came and walked around and went out, and the classroom gradually became lively.

On the first day of the new year, he was lying on the table doing homework, and the same table chatted happily with the front and back tables. The table was bumped from time to time. His writing was like being struck by thunder.

He raised his eyes and looked around, lowered his head and put the pen in the hole in the table, got up and walked out of the classroom.

This week they switched seats, and he moved to the seat near the back door. This position is very good, and he can enter and exit the classroom silently. With the blessing of 镚镚 Jing, every time he comes out, it is as if he is invisible.

Of course, even if someone saw him, no one would care.

On the side of the teaching building is the school wall, where few people go. He usually stays there when he comes out, sitting on a big rock that feels very comfortable.

Usually is in a daze, grinding stones to play.

Today is not the same. Yan Hang said that he liked the little black stone and wanted to tie it to his ankle, so he felt pressure.

In fact, he grinds stones when he has nothing to do, and his father gave him a set of small tools, but he let his grandma sell it. Fortunately, he took out a small file and a small drill to play with, and it was not sold. .

Now he usually uses a small file to repair the details after grinding on the ground.

He has polished a lot of stones, black, white, red and yellow, and flowers, round, polygonal, and flower-shaped and heart-shaped. In fact, today's black is not the best looking, he is bored Grind by hand.

Knowing that Yan Hang liked it, he made a more complicated shape.

It's been two days since Yan Hang said he liked it, and today he has to make the small stone.

He never went to school on the road of Yan Hang's house, and he never met Yan Hang, but Yan Hang never contacted him.

He was a little anxious in the first day of the new year. He didn't know how to maintain a "friend" relationship. After all, he had no experience.

He could only hurry up and finish the stone, and then find Yan Hang.

He took a small file out of his pocket and trimmed the edges of the stone, then took a piece of fine sandpaper and began to polish it.

Although the shape is simple and not good-looking, the texture of this stone is very good, it is very hard, and the black is very pure. After polishing, it will be very beautiful with a little varnish.

By the way, have to dig in...

The phone vibrated in pocket, and took out the phone on the first day of the new year. felt a little surprised. Why would anyone send a message during class?

No one texts him when he is not in class.

It took a long time for the phone to open the message to him sluggishly.

It was Yan Hang.

- Are you leading the way at the music festival at night?

He laughed on the first day of the first day. He thought that the music festival he mentioned that day was just a casual mention, but he didn't expect that Yan Hang was really going.

- yeah, are you going?

- I'm not going, who are you taking?

- I'll go to you after dinner, shall I?

-Tell your family, come and have dinner, my dad will go too, just leave after eating

The first day of junior high was suddenly a little excited, just like when went to a spring outing in elementary school, and some children took the initiative to say that they were excited when they were in a group with him.

Although the little friend ate his fried rice and ignored him.

Dad is at home today, he can go back and talk to Dad.

Then you can go out to play with Yan Hang and Uncle Yan!

Go out and play!

He can't even find company for a walk, and now he can go to the music festival with others to join in the fun.

His hands trembled a little while grinding the stone.

"Little poor boy won't go this way after school in the afternoon?" Dad stood at the window and looked out.

"I'm afraid I'll run into the washing, shearing, blowing, and hooligan who just returned from the building next door." Yan Hang was dicing beef in the kitchen, and he was going to chop shrimp paste in a while.

"Hey," Dad sighed, lit a cigarette and continued to look outside, "so I keep saying, there are a few people who come and go with no stories."

"Old Yan! The water is boiling," Yan Hang shouted, "Blank the chicken wings first."

"Okay." Dad was smoking a cigarette. He just came in and backed out. After putting down the cigarette, he came in again and poured the chicken wings into the pot.

"Is it almost ready for work?" Dad asked.

"Well," Yan Hang nodded, "he will start cooking when he comes, and you can eat it in twenty minutes."

Dad stood beside him, and after the chicken wings were boiled, he took them out and put them in a big bowl: "Can you chat with the first year of the first year?"

"Didn't you talk to him?" Yan Hang said.

"I think he's just a little kid," Dad leaned against the desk, "You guys are about the same age... are you about the same?"

"He's probably fourteen or fifteen years old," Yan Hang said.

"I see him, he looks like a primary school student standing with you." Dad smiled.

"I don't know who told the elementary school students that I was 1.4 meters tall." Yan Hang glanced at him.

"Remorse," Dad clicked his tongue, thought about it, and asked in a low voice, "Can we talk?"

"It's alright, he won't be in the cold anyway, he's quite funny," Yan Hang began to chop shrimp paste, "I haven't had such contact with others, I haven't compared."

Dad didn't speak. After a while, he took the pepper and looked at it: "Can I grind the powder for you?"

"Yeah." Yan Hang responded.

The preparations were all done, and they were neatly placed on the desk. Yan Hang took out his mobile phone and took a photo and posted it on Weibo.

When went back to the living room to sit down, Dad was watching the news again.

Yan Hang listened to the news while looking at his mobile phone. He didn't know what kind of information Dad could get from what kind of news and what kind of details.

Until the news was broadcast and the weather forecast started, Yan Hang didn't hear anything.

"Why haven't you come yet on the first day of the new year? Didn't you just come home after school and say it?" Dad looked at the time, "It's been over an hour since school."

"Yeah," Yan Hang was stunned for a while, listening to the news with his ears pricked up, without paying attention to the time, "I'll ask him."

He sent a message to the first day, but almost ten minutes later, there was no reply.

Yan Hang remembered that he didn't go home for lunch on the first day of the first day of the new year. When he ran back, he looked a little flustered and anxious. Suddenly, he was worried that his grandmother would clean up because he was not at home for dinner today.

Thinking of the white-faced old lady with earthworm eyebrows, Yan Hang couldn't help frowning.

He directly dialed the number of the first grade.

"What?" Dad looked at him.

"The message won't be answered," Yan Hang listened to the dial tone on the phone and waited until he hung up automatically, "I won't answer the call..."

"Isn't it because I ran into a gangster when I came here?" Dad said.

"...It can't be so coincidental?" Yan Hang was stunned for a while, "He hasn't taken this road for a few days."

"It's impossible not to walk here to eat." Dad looked at him.

Yan Hang didn't say a word, looked at his father, and they both stood up at the same time.

"I'll just go." Yan Hang said.

"I want to join in the fun," Dad said.

"Yan Hang," Liang Bing held the phone and looked at the screen, "Who is this person? Why haven't I heard of such a person?"

Standing in the corner on the first day of junior high, he couldn't bear the burning pain from the ear to the neck.

"Yo," a person next to him leaned over and glanced at it, "Can you still recognize the word Nianyan?"

"Yan Zi made Chu! I haven't studied it!" Liang Bing said, "Illiterate you!"

And Yan Jidao.

On the first day of the first year, Liang Bing did not know who Yan Jidao was. Yan Shu was more famous.

"Hey!" Liang Bing shouted, "What the hell are you pretending to be dead, talking to you!"

The homophony of this sentence was shouted, and a stone fell on the head of the first grader.

The stone was not big, much smaller than a brick. Liang Bing didn't have much effort when he hit it, but his head still hurt.

"Fuck it's no fun to play with this guy," said a man leaning against the wall. "There's still a sound when throwing sandbags. It doesn't even snort...Are you a fucking mute?"

wrong.

I'm fucking stuttering.

You are stupid.

"I'm here to see if it's ringing." Liang Bing threw his phone on the ground and walked over.

I was very distressed on the first day of the first day of the new year. The phone was dropped like this, and it is estimated that it would be a little difficult to communicate with each other.

"Come on!" Liang Bing came over and kicked his lower abdomen.

On the first day of the first day, he quickly turned to the side, lowered his arm to block it, and Liang Bing kicked his arm.

"Fuck!" Liang Bing scolded, and punched him in the head, "Come on!"

On the first day of the first day, he raised his arm to block it.

Liang Bing had something in his hand, and when he punched his arm, it was painful.

"You don't fucking make a sound, right?" Liang Bing came over and grabbed him and swiped against the wall next to him.

On the first day of the new year, he slammed into the wall, with a golden star in front of him, followed by several punches on the stomach, upper back, and Liang Bing's hands so hard that he could hardly breathe.

"You," Liang Bingchong tilted his head from a person beside him, "go and take off his pants for me. His grandma loves to be shirtless, and the baby grandson definitely loves to be naked."