Chapter 110: Intense ◇

◎ He would forever keep her on high, pure and untainted by the slightest dust. ◎

When did it start?

What had she endured?

He knew nothing, yet even contemplating it made his head throb and his heart ache. All along, Yu Lian's contrasting choices in her past and present lives had held him back, preventing him from trusting and embracing that devoted love wholeheartedly, from reaching out to grasp the ray of light at the door.

He had never considered such a possibility.

Recalling his actions since his return, a tidal wave of regret flooded over him, nearly suffocating him.

How could he have treated her so...indifferently?

He couldn't fathom when she had shouldered an unimaginable burden alone.

The man hesitated for a moment, his stiff body unresponsive. With great effort, he summoned the self-restraint of two lifetimes to suppress the overwhelming emotion within him, his fingers trembling as he clenched his fists tightly.

Even after committing the most heinous act of rebellion and now reigning as an unyielding sovereign, this man's demeanor remained as gentle and composed as a nobleman, yet his eyes brimmed with tears once he grasped the full extent of the situation.

He couldn't control his breathing, gasping for air in urgency, a mix of joy from encountering a kindred spirit, deep heartache upon realizing the burdens she bore unknown to all, the sudden clarity that came with lifting the veil of confusion, and the overwhelming disorientation from the flood of light that poured into his heart as a long-sealed door creaked open.

Dressed in his imperial dragon robe, ready for court, the grand eunuch had been taken away, and a hastily appointed successor was about to attend to the emperor's needs when he suddenly called for his beloved steed in a hoarse voice, galloping out of the palace gates at a breathtaking pace.

Last night, Yu Lian had also been reevaluating her life, reviewing her actions, ensuring she had left no stone unturned before finally drifting off to sleep. Due to her late bedtime, she felt as if she had just lain down when she was suddenly embraced by a chest damp with morning dew.

Yu Lian blinked her eyes groggily.

She found the man holding her tightly in his arms, his head buried in her neck in a vulnerable position she had never seen before, for what seemed like an eternity.

Yu Lian sensed moisture on her neck, warm against her skin. His damp eyelashes fluttered involuntarily, like a dampened feather brushing against her flesh, causing her to squirm and push away the large head in discomfort.

In doing so, she got a clear look at the man's face.

He had always appeared enigmatic to Yu Lian. His demeanor resembled that of a refined gentleman, with an elegant bearing, composure, and a sense of certainty in all matters. He was the type to appear calm and collected on the surface while silently accomplishing great feats behind the scenes.

Regardless of whether he was gentle or cunning, vulnerability was not a trait associated with him.

In that very moment, his vulnerability was not for himself.

His voice rasped as he, for the first time in his life, hoped to hear a negative answer from Yu Lian. He would rather she had ulterior motives than carry everything silently, for that possibility... was no less burdensome than his own resurrection fueled by hatred.

He would rather she had other intentions. He would treat her well, cherish her like a precious gem, all his life, rather than entertain that suffocating speculation.

Lowering her gaze, Yu Lian seemed to understand his unspoken words. She opened her mouth, "You..."

You already know everything.

Before she could finish, he cupped her face and kissed her fiercely.

Desperate, impetuous, pouring out the owner's panic, fear, and helplessness. It was a stark contrast to his usual composure, making him resemble a mad, raging dog.

Yu Lian was overwhelmed by his intensity, her eyes open as she watched him shut his, fully immersed. Her lashes fluttered gently with each surge of emotion from her master.

She smiled faintly and reached up to cradle the back of his head, stroking gently. But then, just as abruptly, she released him, closing her eyes and letting tears fall. Her voice trembled as she whispered, "Don't..."

Her rejection was muffled, "Leave... don't touch me."

The more she struggled and loathed herself, the more fiercely the man kissed her, until he was barely able to control his desires.

Yu Lian sighed inwardly. The effect... was far better than she had anticipated.

She hadn't expected that after the veil of mistrust was lifted, this man, who seemed like a different person, would overwhelm her with his imagination alone. His feelings for her might run deeper than she had imagined. Perhaps she didn't even need to resort to this tactic; she could still have a decent life with him for the rest of her days.

But she sought assurance, and she didn't regret her decision.

Once the man managed to suppress his overwhelming passion, his emotions gradually calmed. However, this was replaced by an even deeper and more restrained love.

The look in his eyes when he gazed at Yu Lian made her believe that no matter what she did, he would forgive her, and grant her every wish without hesitation.

Unable to continue questioning, he knew that regardless of the past or the consequences, he would treat her well, truly well, for the rest of his life. He would present her with all that the world considered best, and all that he believed to be best.

Suddenly, he lost the courage to uncover the truth behind the mist he had been speculating about – how piercing it might be.

Yet, Yu Lian seemed to have reached a realization, and she wasn't going to let go. She tore away the veil as if it were a light-blocking cloth.

After his forceful kiss, the corners of her crimson, tempting lips curled up. Her tear-stained, beautiful eyes concealed all emotions, replaced by a mocking glint.

"Did you guess it?"

"Well, if not for being given a second chance at life, how could you have survived? You were clearly... "

"Only later did I come to understand all this. In your eyes, am I utterly despicable?"

"You know about those things, don't you?"

Her self-loathing had become unbearable, and the mocking resistance she had mustered was like thorns that withered, transforming into layer upon layer of disdain for herself until it crushed her spirit.

With her head tilted and eyes lowered, the woman sat alone on the bed, clutching the covers tightly in her crossed arms as if to fend off the world.

Drops of water fell onto the brocade quilt, quickly soaking through to form a damp patch.

She whispered to herself in disgust, "There is no woman more filthy than I in this world."

"How could I taint you..."

"If you hadn't come back to life, I thought, since I had already ruined everything in my previous life, even if my body remained pure, my soul was irreparably tainted... Since I didn't want to live anyway, I decided to protect your family while you were gone, ensuring their safety and happiness. That should have been your wish. Fulfilling these tasks would have given me some semblance of satisfaction."

"When all of this is done, it won't be too late to find you."

Lost in her own emotions, her initially self-loathing and vulnerable expression gradually softened into a simple, contented smile, pure and genuine.

He clenched his fists, longing for her to stop. He yearned to hold her, to pour all his strength into that embrace, but her resistant stance made him realize it was impossible. His body felt pinned down, numb and aching, leaving him unable to move.

Her expression shifted abruptly, administering the final blow.

"It can't be... I can't come to you. I must descend into the underworld, and this time, I'll remember to drink the Lady Meng Po's soup, erasing everything clean. I'll cleanse this tainted soul and be reborn into an ordinary, peaceful family. Never again will I encounter a man who carves himself into my bones, leaving me powerless to control my heart. How wonderful it would be to live like an ordinary person, where men marry women, leading a mundane life, untouched by storms or clear skies, simply existing without fervor?"

Upon hearing this, the man could endure no more. He suddenly leaned forward, embracing her completely in his arms, with tears falling drop by drop onto the crown of her head.

At first, they were warm, but then they turned cold.

Yu Lian almost lost control of her pent-up emotions and was ready to punch him in the face.

But the man's voice quivered, sounding incredibly vulnerable for an emperor typically portrayed as the antagonist, "Lian'er..."

He pleaded, "Don't drink the Lady Meng's Soup, don't forget me... Let's be reincarnated together in our next lives. If you're afraid of suffering and insist on drinking it, that's fine too. I'll be the one to find you. You won't need to bear the pain or carry the burden of remembering. You just need to guard your heart. Whatever it is you desire, whatever price you pay, I will give it to you."

"I'll give you everything in double measure."

As he finished speaking, he suddenly fainted.

Yu Lian only realized his forehead was burning hot. The moment froze, but she knew a new path had begun for them.

She didn't know if she would fall in love with this man in the future, but what she desired was already within her grasp.

The royal physician hurriedly arrived. It seemed that although the man's old wounds from his time in prison had mostly healed, years of traveling, rebellion, and tireless efforts to capture the imperial city followed by rushing to fetch her and then being engrossed in political affairs had taken their toll on his body. Relying on his youth and strength, he had pushed himself too far. This emotional upheaval, combined with catching a cold the previous night, had caused him to suddenly fall ill with a fever.

In her heart, Yu Lian silently apologized to the man. She sat by his bedside, tenderly caring for him for an entire day and night until he finally regained consciousness the following day.

Upon waking up again, his eyes anxiously searched for the person he longed to see. He found her holding his large hand, sleeping lightly beside his bed.

A wave of profound affection washed over him, and he felt a great relief. Only when the door was fully opened, allowing light to pour in completely, did he realize how wonderful it felt.

Her love for him, etched into his bones, was just as deep as his for her. He even felt that at this moment, if she were to demand his life, he would give it to her without hesitation.

Contemplating his emotional transformation, the man smiled wryly, pulling at the corners of his lips. This was unlike his rational nature.

Yet, he could not help but be enveloped by a sublime sweetness that surpassed reason, a sensation he had never experienced before.

He loved her, just as she loved him.

For the rest of their lives...

"Please, Your Majesty... let him go..."

"Emperor, I beg of you..."

"Just... give him a chance to live."

"I'll do anything."

The woman lying on the bed had a profile so exquisitely beautiful, as if crafted meticulously from the finest jade by the heavens. Suddenly, her brow furrowed, and her face contorted in pain as she mumbled incoherent dreams.

The content of her murmurs tore him away from his bliss, plunging him into a vortex of self-reproach and heartache.

He reached out to gently and anxiously caress her face, soothingly waking her up. "I'm here... Yu Lian, don't be afraid."

"I'm right here."

This was no longer the past life. It was a new beginning. He was alive, and so was she. She was not tainted; she was purer than anyone else in the world.

He would always keep her on high, pure and unsullied, free from any dust or stain.

As if hearing his reassurance, the sleeping person gradually calmed down.

Her slumber ended with a whisper, "My husband..."

The man froze for a moment before being overwhelmed with joy once more.

When Yu Lian awoke, she found herself tightly embraced by the man, lying on his imperial bed. He gazed at her with clear, affectionate eyes, as if she were a rare treasure, his gaze sparkling. His eyes, usually deep and enigmatic, now held an unexpected clarity, like that of a young man, piercing straight into her heart.

Smiling, he kissed her lips upon seeing her awake. "Yu Lian, I am captivated by you."

"I will be captivated by you for a lifetime, the next life, and all eternity. You alone will bring me joy."

He vowed, with a smile yet in utmost sincerity, of countless reincarnations to come.

Yu Lian suddenly froze, a peculiar sensation causing her expression to freeze. In the next moment, she brushed aside such emotions and asked, "You know, why..."

He embraced her, and they lay together in bed, sharing the same duvet. She was securely nestled within his arms, surrounded by his warm breath, as if they were two parts of a single entity.

"Lian'er, you are not impure; if there is impurity, it lies with me, for my incompetence has caused you to endure such suffering. If I had the power from the very beginning, if success had been mine from the start, I would have taken you as my wife in our previous life itself. You are so wonderful that even though I may have been unfamiliar with you at first, how could I possibly not come to love you in time?"

"If given a second chance, I would shield you from all pain right from the start. You would marry me, and we would bear children, loving each other without doubt, growing old together till our hair turns white."

A gentle smile tugged at the corners of his lips, his countenance as pure as that of an innocent young lad, a sweetness unfamiliar to him.

Since his youth, he had restrained any emotions and impulses, so as not to disappoint his father's expectations. As the eldest son of the East Yuan Marquis, a powerful court official, and the heir to the marquisate, he shouldered all responsibilities and strived to become more composed. He gradually distanced himself from all sweet foods, no longer indulging in his grandmother's nine-layer cake, and reserved his soft emotions only for his family. He diligently transformed himself into a rational and calm persona, believing that such a tightly-wound version of himself was who he truly was and what he should have grown accustomed to long ago.

Only now, having tasted the radiance and sweetness brought by his beloved, did he come to realize that certain emotions could indeed be directed towards a special someone.

She loved him so deeply that she was willing to give him everything.

He could also be utterly open and sincere with her.

This feeling was truly wonderful.

Next, the two lovers lay in bed, entwined, engaging in a heart-to-heart conversation.

The man shared with her his past and present, while she, blushing, disclosed her own "past life" with vulnerability.

In her previous existence, upon hearing that her fiancé and his family had been thrown into prison, panic overtook her. Influenced by the Seventh Prince's provocations, she believed that her husband-to-be's family would be executed. Before the emperor issued an order for exile, she used her connection with the Ninth Prince to enter the palace, planning to seduce the emperor.

With her beauty, she indeed managed to meet the emperor.

In the original story, the protagonist suffered abuse before meeting the emperor, but Yu Lian omitted this part, portraying it as her failed attempt to seduce the emperor, resulting in his humiliation and her subsequent banishment from the palace. Since Hua Ji was imprisoned at that time, he couldn't have known about her ordeal before meeting the emperor. He would only assume that the emperor humiliated his fiancée to spite him.

Knowing that Hua Ji likely wouldn't mind, she still refused to accept any hint of imperfection.

She smiled, though her eyes held no mirth. "Back then, I felt utterly hopeless. You were going to die, my future husband was about to die, and I...I endured such humiliation, becoming the laughingstock of the city. How could I bear to live with such shame? So...I jumped into that river."

"The water was so cold, yet I felt a warmth. At that moment, I thought, my husband, I'll leave this world before you, let the river cleanse my body. If there is a next life and we accidentally cross paths, I want to be cleaner, not letting you see that disgraceful, pitiful side of me..."

His rough fingers pressed against her lips, silencing her. "You're not allowed to speak such hurtful words anymore."

He tenderly kissed her forehead, imbued with an abundance of love and remorse. The bittersweet mixture of affection, guilt, and heartache swirled within him, intensifying his love for the one in his arms with each passing breath.

Intense, passionate.