Chapter 105: Without Thought, Without Fame (34)

Chapter 105: Without Thought, Without Fame (34)

Zhe Wan found the melancholic Yingjie. She sat down and jestingly said, "Now you've learned to feign disinterest in plain food."

Yingjie nestled beside her aunt and whispered, "Then will you take me with you?"

Zhe Wan reached out to stroke her head. "Of course I want to. But this journey might take several years, and I'm unsure how to tell you about it or if it's right to bring you to Minnan."

Yingjie beamed. "I knew it would be like this!"

How could her aunt not tell her, after all?

Leaning on Zhe Wan's shoulder, Yingjie continued, "But I want to go."

She spoke resolutely, "I want to go—not just to Minnan, but also to the desert and the southwest—I want to see them all."

Somewhere along the way, she had developed such aspirations. She shared, "Sometimes I can't help but think that Uncle and Father's names both contain 'crane,' while Aunt's name contains 'nightingale.'"

One was a crane, the other a nightingale—already a prophecy embedded in their names.

"My uncle's son is Qingchuan, my father's son is Qingsheng. As for me, being a girl, I took the 'qing' from my eldest aunt's name and combined it with 'ying,' thus becoming Qingying."

"But I often wonder, why can't my 'ying' be an 'ying' like a falcon instead of a sparrow?"

Zhe Wan felt a mix of tenderness and pride upon hearing this. "Of course, naturally, you have every right to be Qingying, or even Qingying the eagle."

Young Qingying smiled. "Yes, I could be. That's why I want to go out and see the world."

She continued, "I've grown up watching my aunt, Su Shan, Aunt Zhesan, Manager Zhou, Aunt Chan Yue, and Aunt Su Lan. Observing you all has made me realize that there's nothing wrong with who I am."

"If you want to do something, just go ahead and do it," she declared.

She wouldn't regret her choices. Her greatest fear was losing the courage to step outside in the future.

She enjoyed sharing these whispers with her aunt. "People's preferences can be quite frightening!"

"I spent a few days living with my mother, and she told me how delicious grapes are. But I don't particularly enjoy them. Yet, if I eat them often, I might grow to like them. If I don't venture out with my aunt now, I might lose the desire to leave the house altogether in the future."

Zhe Wan was delighted. "You're truly clever. When I was your age, I could only think about how to earn an extra coin here and there."

Upon hearing this, Yingjie turned around, embraced Zhe Wan, and spoke earnestly, "I feel so much for you, Auntie Zhe."

Zhe Wan's body tensed at first, but then gradually relaxed as she revealed a joyful smile. "Thank you, Yingjie."

Not far away, the Empress Dowager and Su Shan stood together, watching the scene, and they couldn't help but smile. The Empress Dowager sighed to Su Shan, "That's why one never knows what life will bring. Your young lady could never have imagined that her hardships back then would be comforted by a young girl like this one day - how wonderful."

Su Shan smiled in agreement. "Yes, who could have foreseen such good times back then?"

She supported the Empress Dowager as they walked towards the backyard. "I truly hope that things will always remain this harmonious."

The Empress Dowager patted her hand and said, "Even if there are difficulties, your lady is not one to be intimidated. Thus, there is nothing in this life that can crush her."

Isn't human growth just like this?

In the second month, they returned to the Capital City. Shortly thereafter, the Duke of England's residence received imperial orders that Zhe Wan was to embark on a pilgrimage to the temples in Jiangnan on behalf of the Empress Dowager, to pray for the well-being of all living beings.

The first temple in question is the Nanputuo Temple in Minnan. His Majesty has already issued an edict to dispatch Prefect Yuan Yao, currently serving in Minnan, to oversee this matter.

Once the eunuch delivering the imperial decree had left, He Chun followed Zhe Wan back to the Cangyun Pavilion. After a long silence, he softly uttered a seemingly trivial question, "Are you planning to go to Minnan?"

Zhe Wan nodded. "Yes, hasn't the imperial edict already been issued?"

He Chun, however, firmly replied, "You've never mentioned that you still wanted to go to Minnan."

Zhe Wan broke into a smile. "But I've always been working towards it."

He Chun was momentarily stunned. It was only now that he seemed to realize, "Is that so? You've always been doing this for the purpose of going to Minnan?"

He had assumed she had started a business that had grown exponentially. He acknowledged her abilities and tactics, but he had never imagined that she could be so daring.

So taken aback was He Chun that he found himself unable to utter another word at that moment.

But Zhe Wan declared resolutely, "Yes, it has always been like this."

He Chun felt a buzzing in his ears. After a long while, he blurted out, "But what about Chuan-ge? In a few years, when you're gone, he'll be of marrying age—"

Zhe Wan replied, "You're his father. Can't you manage his wedding?"

She continued, "He Chun, I'm going to Minnan, and I'm almost on my way."

She had prepared everything, awaiting her departure.

He Chun closed his eyes and said, "Very well."

He left for the study and hadn't ventured out for several days.

Zhe Wan didn't bother him. Her thoughts were with Song Yueniang. The latter had been weeping for days. With a guilty conscience, Zhe Wan approached her cautiously, saying, "With Yingjie tagging along, I'll make sure she's well taken care of."

Song Yueniang slammed the table and shouted, "You cunning cotton spirit! You seem so quiet, but your intentions are insidious! In just a few years, you've taken both my mother and sister-in-law. Now you're even after my daughter!"

Wailing, she cried, "Give me back Yingjie, give me back my Yingjie!"

Yingjie, peeking from outside, entered the room upon hearing this and comforted softly, "I'll write to Mother, and whenever I find something delicious or beautiful, I'll send it back to her. Just think of it as if I'm on a scholarly journey."

Song Yueniang clung to her, weeping, "I shouldn't have let you follow your aunt!"

Yingjie smiled and stroked her head. "Mother, there's still Shengge. With him by your side, I can rest assured. It's only for a few years, and then I'll return. Just think of it as me visiting Father. I'll stay with him for a while too."

Song Yueniang cried bitterly, "Your father's heart is solely on his official duties; he won't spare a thought for you! My poor Yingjie, why must you have such a busy fate? Running around like this, what will become of you in the future?!"

Yingjie: "I don't need Father to worry about me; it's enough for me to be at ease on my own."

Song Yueniang: "Nonsense! How could your father not care about you? Everything he has is for you and Shengge!"

Yingjie giggled, "Mother, you should take good care of yourself too."

Lady Song and Yuxiu also hurried over to the Duke of Ying's residence. Lady Song helped Yingjie comfort her daughter, while Yuxiu pulled Zhe Wan aside and said, "Congratulations, your wish has come true. From now on, everything will go smoothly."

Zhe Wan took her hand and led her away. "I also want to thank you. Thank you for lending me a helping hand back then."

When someone helps you through a difficult time, you tend to remember it for life.

She expressed her gratitude. "Without Elder Sister Yu, I wouldn't be where I am today."

Yuxiu smiled wistfully. "Born into an aristocratic family, I was dressed in silk and satin since childhood, enjoying fine food and clothing without ever having to worry about basic needs."

"My mother says that for people like us, the most painful thing is aspiring to achieve great feats like men, and the luckiest is to be like me, with no grand ambitions or dreams for life."

"That's why I indulge in the superficial pursuit of performing one good deed each day; it turns out to be the best for me."

"After all these years, there aren't many who remember my kindness like you do."

"Ao Wan, you have given me the most in return. I must also thank you sincerely."

Zhe Wan smiled and then mentioned Sun Sanniang, "Do you want to bring anything for her?"

Yuxiu replied, "Yes, please."

Her bond with Third Sister Sun was the deepest. Despite exchanging letters frequently throughout the year, she still missed her dearly. She said, "When you go to Minnan, you can meet her together. I fear that it might be difficult for me to see her again in this lifetime."

Speaking of this, she couldn't help but feel a tinge of loneliness, "One by one, you all will leave, leaving me behind in the Capital City, rather forlorn and solitary indeed."

Zhe Wan remarked, "You cannot claim loneliness when your doorstep is never devoid of visitors. The ladies of the Capital City count half of them as your acquaintances."

Yuxiu leaned close to her, "What were you saying? But I must thank you for facilitating my connection with Princess Yue; we do get along splendidly."

Initially, it was due to Zhe Wan's introduction that she forged a rapport with Princess Yue. Their relationship has since blossomed, and with Zhe Wan's departure, she will not be left feeling lonely.

Each person has their own journey through life.

Zhe Wan gently squeezed her hand, "Then I'll have to go and stir up trouble with Sister Sun."

The two of them laughed uncontrollably. Song Yueniang, who had just been comforted by Elder Madam Song, saw this scene and started crying again, "She's always like that with Yingjie! She's even closer to her than to me!"

Elder Madam Song slapped her hand, "Just keep causing trouble!"

A few days before Zhe Wan's departure, she went to visit Li Concubine. Li Concubine had still learned about the matter from someone else's mouth. Upon hearing it, she was bewildered and startled, "Why is she going so far away?"

Her personal maid replied, "She's going to pray for the Empress Dowager's blessings, it's an honor for the whole family."

Lady Li didn't dare to refute, yet she felt distressed. When Zhe Wan arrived, she cried, "You've never had children, so you're already at a disadvantage. And now that Chuan-ge has grown up—by the time you return, where in the Duke of Ying's residence will there be a place for you?"

She said, "Ah Wan, you're being foolish!"

Zhe Wan listened quietly for a long while before responding after Lady Li finished, "Mother, do you think I'm not living well now?"

Lady Li replied, "You may be doing well now, but when you grow old, you'll realize your mistake."

She continued, "Look at me. Isn't it because of you that I can live as I am now? With you by my side, I have no worries. But what about you? What will you do in the future without any children? When you're old, Chuan-ge's wife could even scold you!"

Zhe Wan smiled softly. "Mother... you're still the same."

She exhaled slowly. "But I've changed."

In the past, she would spend a day in sorrow, anger, and frustration over her mother's words. But now, they held no weight to her.

She spoke calmly, "I came to visit Mother and also to ask, are you willing about what I said before?"

Aunt Li had forgotten what she was referring to and took a while to recall. She frowned and said, "I'm fine, why are you indulging in wild thoughts again?"

Zhe Wan replied, "Then I hope Aunt is truly well."

She stood up. "I must be going."

Aunt Li followed her anxiously out the door. "Won't you stay a little longer?"

Zhe Wan shook her head. "No, thank you."

And with that, she left the Zhe residence.

The spring sunshine outside was delightful.

Zhe Wan looked up at the sky, and delicate rays of light scattered across her face like shimmering golden flakes.

Harnessing the essence of this springtime, she purchased paper money for offerings, liquor, and some food from an inn. Then, she carried them all to her eldest sister's grave.

She sat down, leaning against the tombstone, and smiled softly. "Eldest Sister, I'm leaving now."

Pausing for a moment, she continued, "If your soul still lingers in this world, perhaps you wouldn't have initially understood my feelings for you."

"But if you had seen my past life and understood the depths of my pursuit and obsession with you, you would comprehend and be glad for who I am now."

She exhaled a long sigh of relief. "It was regretful that I couldn't be you in the past, but now, I am delighted not to be."

"Elder Sister, I have become my own person."

In one's lifetime, one should embrace their unique existence, free from desires and fame.

On the day she was to depart for Minnan, she paid an early farewell to the Empress Dowager and returned to Cangyun Pavilion.

Suzhan and Yingjie were waiting for her.

Outside, the roses were in full bloom. Zhe Wan paused before them for a while, then reached out to pluck one, adorning her hair with it.

Suzhan approached and said, "How lovely—it seems this flower is blossoming exceptionally well today. I can't help but feel it's more vibrant."

Zhe Wan smiled, "Perhaps it knows we're leaving and is rejoicing for us."

She held Suzhan with her left hand and Yingjie with her right, "Let's go—off to Minnan, to explore Jiangnan."

—The End of the Chapter.

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