Chapter 23: You’re My Favorite Little Brother

Chapter 23: You're My Favorite Little Brother

Xiaoya didn't know what had just happened, but the situation didn't allow him to ponder it carefully. He could only slowly survey his surroundings with the dim light seeping in from outside.

Although the light was faint, he could see that this small room was very shabby, cluttered with various items. He felt lost, not knowing where he was. When he tried to sit up, a piercing pain shot through his leg.

The pain quickly spread throughout his body, causing his ears to ring and his vision to blur. Every nerve and muscle twitched. Images flashed through his mind: the cornfield in the rain, his mother running, Gu Lin's lips moving incessantly...

"Aunt and Uncle are no longer alive."

"Xiaoya, you're right; I killed them. Your dear parents, they were all killed by me."

...

Xiaoya clenched his teeth in agony, his hands spasming as he gripped tightly. The world before him spun and twisted, seemingly forming a black hole that would devour him whole.

In the center of the black hole, a pair of deep, beastly eyes glinted coldly, whispering enticingly, "Kill them, kill everyone. They all deserve to die..."

Yes, everyone deserves to die. Kill them...

Xiaoya's eyes turned wild, a layer of black spreading from his pupils, gradually covering his entire eyeballs.

"... Haha, I'm back now. Why would I be afraid of you? I was just pretending to be scared, haha..."

A child's cackling laughter suddenly pierced his ears, like a reckless stick swinging aimlessly, breaking those whispers into fragments. Xiaoya instantly regained consciousness, the world stopping its twisting, the beast growling in frustration before disappearing along with the black hole.

The blackness in Xiaoya's eyes receded like a tide, making him look normal again, except for the fever-induced flush on his face and the dry, cracked lips.

Shen Juanjuan had already walked out of the passage into the junkyard. His head and face were drenched in sweat, steam rising from his head, but as his panic subsided, his courage grew.

"Why would I be afraid of you? I was just pretending. I'm not actually afraid of ghosts." Shen Juanjuan, nervous yet excited, stretched one foot into the passage. "I'm coming..." He stared ahead, then withdrew his foot. "I'm leaving..."

"I'm coming, I'm leaving, I'm coming, I'm leaving..." Shen Juanjuan stretched and retracted his legs, laughing loudly, waving an iron bar menacingly. "Hahaha, I was just pretending earlier. I've been attacking you mentally all along. You didn't expect that, did you?"

Satisfied, Shen Juanjuan walked toward the tin shack. Although he wasn't afraid anymore, the shock still lingered, causing occasional shivers.

Before he entered the tin shack, his voice reached inside first: "Brother, I met a ghost earlier. I wasn't afraid of him at all. I beat him so badly. I pointed at him and said, 'Why are you so shameless? I'm going to lock you up and not let you eat dinner...'"

Inside the shack, Shen Juanjuan's voice faded away, eventually disappearing.

He stared blankly at the person on the cart, then slowly squatted down, inching closer with his eyes fixed on Chu Ya.

"Brother—" He stopped himself, pursed his lips, and reconsidered, changing his address: "This person, you're awake?"

Chu Ya looked at the ceiling, the only difference from when he was unconscious being that his eyes were open. But there was no emotion in them, like a stagnant pool of water.

"This person, this person? This person?" Shen Juanjuan patiently called out softly, his face getting closer until it blocked Chu Ya's view of the ceiling.

Seeing Chu Ya's vacant gaze focus on him, Shen Juanjuan softened his voice: "You're awake..."

Chu Ya stared at the dirty face in front of him for a few seconds. Shen Juanjuan smiled, revealing a row of tiny white teeth.

"Are you still sleepy? Do you want to sleep more? This person, are you still sleepy? Ah, I forgot you needed water. Let me give you some water."

He placed the water bottle hanging around his neck on the bedside table and began unscrewing the cap with both hands.

"You're awake, hehehe. How did you wake up, hehehe." He glanced at Chu Ya, then continued working on the cap: "Earlier, when you wanted water, I went to get some. I left and came back, ah! And you woke up, hahaha. Oh, I also met a ghost, but I wasn't afraid. If he dared to hit me, I'd stab him with my iron bar..."

Chu Ya's gaze fell on Shen Juanjuan's back, noticing the thin neck protruding from the collar of his cotton jacket. Suddenly, he remembered seeing this back in the beastly consciousness earlier.

He felt that everything that happened was real, even though he was unconscious and had unknowingly released his mental power, which had spread and roamed nearby.

And that beast was just a figment of his confused mind.

Chu Ya didn't dwell on it further. The despair and sorrow of losing his parents spread through his veins, seeping into his bones and muscles, squeezing his soul bit by bit.

Shen Juanjuan approached with a cap full of water, bending over and extending his hand: "Be careful, don't spill it. Be careful." Then he squatted in front of Chu Ya. "Come on, this person, I'll feed you."

Chu Ya saw a gleaming spoon heading straight for his mouth.

Having been partially conscious during his intermittent periods of waking, he knew the purpose of the spoon and reflexively opened his mouth.

Shen Juanjuan exclaimed in surprise, withdrew the spoon, and laughed: "No need to pry your mouth open. You can open it yourself. You're such a good boy, really good."

Before Chu Ya could close his mouth, another cap was quickly brought to his lips and tipped in.

With a gulp, Chu Ya swallowed the water.

"You drink well too. I'll get you another cup." Shen Juanjuan took the cap-sized cup and stood up, heading back to the bedside table. "When you have a fever, you need to drink lots and lots of water."

Chu Ya was too weak to lift his hand, and due to thirst, he allowed Shen Juanjuan to feed him several caps of water. It wasn't until Shen Juanjuan offered another cup that he tightly closed his mouth.

"Do you want more? Do you still want to drink?"

Chu Ya didn't respond, staring blankly at the tin roof.

"Can't open your mouth again? Do you still want to drink? Can't open your mouth again?"

Shen Juanjuan bent down to pick up the spoon. Finally, Chu Ya reacted, shaking his head slightly and uttering two short breaths: "No, drink."

"Oh, you don't want to drink anymore. Then I won't feed you." Shen Juanjuan put the cap away, then squatted beside Chu Ya, staring intently at him.

Chu Ya could ignore his gaze, but Shen Juanjuan's chatter continuously filled his ears, impossible to ignore.

"You look so pale, paler than the last time I saw you. You weren't this pale at the orphanage. Here, take a bag." Shen Juanjuan stood tall, his left hand mimicking holding something, his expressionless eyes looking down. "That's how you were. But your eyelashes are still the same length. Let me check, yeah, still the same length."

Chu Ya didn't want to listen to these ramblings, but hearing the word "orphanage" stirred something in his heart.

An image of another child finally surfaced in his mind—wearing a hat that covered his ears, with two runny noses, and eyes darting about—he finally recognized the child as the dirty kid he had seen at the orphanage.

So am I now in the Abyss Orphanage?

He tried to recall and vaguely remembered the gunshots, footsteps, and repeated instructions.

"…Xiaoya, you must stay alive… I will come for you…"

That voice belonged to Deputy Yun. He must have rescued me from White Castle and brought me here to hide in the Abyss.

As for why this child is here with me, it’s possible he’s hiding in the orphanage right now.

"Where is this?" he asked, his voice hoarse and unpleasant.

Shen Juanjuan replied, "My office."

Chu Ya didn’t believe it was an office; he guessed it was probably a storage room in the orphanage.

"Who brought me here?" Chu Ya asked weakly.

"It wasn’t anyone who brought you; I picked you up from the garbage mountain," Shen Juanjuan said proudly.

"What about the others… the adults?"

Shen Juanjuan looked around. "Are there others? I don’t know."

Chu Ya found it difficult to communicate with the child and decided not to speak further. He thought someone might be avoiding showing themselves and had sent this child to watch over him until morning. However, Shen Juanjuan started talking non-stop, becoming increasingly excited and louder.

"I ate the black blob you gave me. The scarf you gave me got wet, but I hung it outside; you can wear it tomorrow. I also brought my flower paper and glass marbles—all of them are for you, everything!"

Shen Juanjuan pointed around, declaring generously, "All these are my treasures. Look and see what you like; just tell me, and they’re all yours!"

Chu Ya remained silent. After calming down a bit, Shen Juanjuan looked at him and asked gently, "Are you hungry? You must be. You didn’t eat the sweet potato earlier; I saved it for you."

Shen Juanjuan got up, picked up the remaining half of the sweet potato, patted it in his hand, and lamented, "Now it’s cold. Cold sweet potatoes aren’t as good; they’re like bean cakes. Oh, why didn’t you wake up earlier? Oh…"

Chu Ya found the child very noisy, buzzing incessantly, making it hard for him to focus on his pain, which floated scattered and blocked in his chest, unable to release.

Shen Juanjuan brought the sweet potato to Chu Ya’s mouth, but Chu Ya kept his mouth tightly closed, allowing the cold sweet potato to touch his lips.

"Can’t you eat by yourself?" Shen Juanjuan hesitated for a moment, then bit off a piece of the sweet potato and spat it into his palm. "Okay, let me feed you."

Chu Ya’s eyes widened in disbelief as he watched the small piece of sweet potato in the child’s palm move closer. A trace of shock appeared on his expressionless face.

He originally lacked the strength to move even his fingers, but now he slowly turned his head away. Shen Juanjuan leaned forward, extending his hand toward Chu Ya’s cheek. "Don’t move. I’m feeding you. If you move, it’ll be harder for me."

Chu Ya watched as the piece of sweet potato came close to his mouth again and slowly turned his head back.

"Don’t you want to eat? Such delicious sweet potatoes, why wouldn’t you want to eat them?" Shen Juanjuan noticed his refusal and looked puzzled. Then he became serious. "You can’t skip meals; if you do, you’ll starve to death."

"There was once when I didn’t want to eat, so I skipped a meal. Do you know what happened? Yes! I starved to death! Since then, I’ve eaten every meal properly and haven’t starved to death since."

After scaring Chu Ya, Shen Juanjuan saw that he still wouldn’t budge and sighed helplessly. "What should we do? You can’t skip meals, and keeping your mouth closed won’t work. I’ll have to open your mouth and feed you."

As he spoke, he slowly raised his other hand, holding a silver spoon that glinted coldly.

Chu Ya stared at the spoon, took a deep breath, and finally opened his mouth, taking a small bite of the sweet potato Shen Juanjuan held to his lips.

"Ah! Are you eating by yourself? Good boy, you’re eating by yourself." Shen Juanjuan was both happy and relieved, laughing as he patiently held the half sweet potato, letting Chu Ya take small bites.

Chu Ya ate very slowly, stopping after each bite to rest. Shen Juanjuan didn’t rush him, only turning the sweet potato to present the easier-to-bite side.

"Don’t rush. Look, your mouth is pale from hunger, so you need to eat well and not starve… Here, eat this piece I bit off for you… Don’t want it? Then I’ll eat it."

After finishing the half sweet potato, Chu Ya closed his eyes and ignored Shen Juanjuan. Shen Juanjuan didn’t mind and sat beside the cart, continuing to talk.

"Did you come looking for me? Why are you sick…"

His questions were endless, and Chu Ya, tormented by constant headaches and leg pain, feeling nauseous, managed to say, "Stop asking… I don’t… remember."

"You don’t remember? Did you forget this too? What do you remember? Do you remember giving me the black blob and the scarf at the orphanage?"

Chu Ya replied, "I remember nothing… everything… is forgotten."

"What? You forgot everything!"

Shen Juanjuan finally fell silent, staring at Chu Ya for a moment, looking lost and dejected.

"So you don’t remember me either…" he whispered softly.

Shen Juanjuan sat in a daze, and the room finally quieted down. Chu Ya’s ears finally had some peace. But Shen Juanjuan seemed to think of something and suddenly straightened up, his expression strange.

He looked at Chu Ya earnestly. "Do you remember your name? Do you remember where you live? If you’ve forgotten everything, do you still want to go back to your orphanage?"

In the long silence, Shen Juanjuan thought Chu Ya wouldn’t answer, but he finally spoke in a hoarse voice, "I don’t remember… who I am, and I don’t… have an orphanage."

Shen Juanjuan held his breath, his eyes shining brightly. Then he clenched his fists and shouted, "Ya!!"

He jumped up, stomping on something, causing it to clatter. Unable to control his excitement, he ran out the door, punching and kicking the air, then put his hands behind his back and paced under the eaves, chuckling to himself.

After a while, he stood still, his eyes darting around, lost in thought, and laughed softly.

Chu Ya didn’t know what he was doing, but the distraction helped ease his pain slightly, though his body was still hot, and the pain in his broken leg continued.

Shen Juanjuan returned inside, squatting happily next to Chu Ya, touching his forehead, then his own. "You’re not feverish anymore." Then he lifted the blanket covering Chu Ya. "Let me check if your foot is better."

Chu Ya felt a chill below his waist and instinctively looked down, his face filled with shock, his entire body freezing as if struck by lightning.

He saw himself lying naked on the blanket, completely unclothed, without even underwear.

—The only thing covering his skin were two plasters on his thighs.

Chu Ya stopped letting others help him bathe or expose his body in front of anyone from a very young age, even those who cared for him like Sister Qin and his parents.

He was now somewhat stunned and momentarily forgot to react, allowing Shen Juanjuan to scrutinize his body carefully.

"Your feet are still so thick, but they'll definitely be better tomorrow, they'll become thinner." Shen Juanjuan gestured with both arms: "This foot will heal with the ointment."

"Get away, move further back." Chu Ya growled hoarsely, trying to push Shen Juanjuan away, but as soon as he managed to lift his head and shoulders, they fell back down, causing intense pain at the broken bone: "—ah."

"Don't move, moving will hurt." Shen Juanjuan pouted and blew on the broken bone, then comforted him: "It won't hurt anymore, I'm blowing on it to make it better, don't cry."

Chu Ya's forehead was covered in cold sweat, but he gritted his teeth and said: "My, my pants? Put them on."

"You can't wear pants right now; they're wet. I hung them outside to dry."

"Wet, also, give them to me."

"But the caretakers don't allow us to wear wet clothes; they say we'll get sick."

"Give, give them to me."

"No." Shen Juanjuan looked at him sideways. "If you get sicker, we won't have enough medicine, and if there's not enough medicine, you'll die."

Chu Ya watched him, feeling increasingly frustrated, but lying here left him with no options, so he said: "Cover, cover me with the blanket."

Shen Juanjuan draped the blanket over Chu Ya, sat beside him, and began taking off his own cotton jacket. He struggled to pull his T-shirt over his head.

With Lin Duozhi not around, he gave up and let his head remain inside the T-shirt, only removing his corduroy pants and slipping under the blanket next to Chu Ya.

"Oh, you're so warm, you're really warm." Shen Juanjuan slowly moved closer to Chu Ya, pressing against his arm, his muffled voice coming from under the T-shirt, filled with a dull happiness.

Chu Ya's breathing had steadied, though he was full of sorrow, he couldn't help asking: "Did you take a bath?"

Shen Juanjuan leaned his head toward Chu Ya, sharing the pillow: "I did, I just took one, and the caretaker even checked my back."

Chu Ya: "What about your nose?"

Shen Juanjuan replied: "I'm not cold, I don't have any snot. My face is covered by the shirt, so if I do, it will get wiped clean."

Chu Ya's hand clenched tighter, and Shen Juanjuan gently patted his shoulder, "It's late, and you're sick. Let's stop playing and go to sleep."

Despite saying this, Shen Juanjuan turned to face him, staring at his profile through the thin fabric of the T-shirt without blinking.

"Can you, can you look somewhere else? Don't stare at me." Chu Ya asked with closed eyes.

"How did you know I was looking at you?"

"And don't touch my face with your hand."

"Okay."

Shen Juanjuan withdrew his hand from Chu Ya's nose and moved closer, whispering: "Do you remember your name? Do you remember who I am?"

"I don't remember."

Shen Juanjuan fell silent, lost in thought. After a moment, he suddenly spoke, his voice filled with feigned surprise: "How could you forget me too? Shen Miaomiao, how could you forget me?"

The fabric in front of his face billowed with each breath, his breathing quickening slightly: "My name is Shen Juanjuan, and you are Shen Miaomiao. You are my older brother, and I am your younger brother."

Chu Ya took a deep breath.

After saying this, Shen Juanjuan continued more smoothly, speaking non-stop: "You must remember, don't forget again. You love me so much, you gave me the delicious black buns and your scarf, saying I was your favorite little brother. Back at the orphanage, there was a dung beetle named Wang Zhusheng who called me a stinkbug in the cafeteria, and you ran over, grabbed him, and threw him aside."

"If you insult my brother again, I'll kill you." Shen Juanjuan's voice suddenly turned harsh, then he explained to Chu Ya gently: "I didn't mean to say I'd kill you; I was imitating you."

"Even though I steal things, you still help me fight. When I got caught stealing, people called me a thief, and you chased that person to the backyard of the orphanage. I hid in a small hole—no, you were the one guarding with an iron bar."

Shen Juanjuan rambled on, then spoke fiercely again: "If I catch you, I'll stab you one, two, three times!" Then he touched Chu Ya's arm and said softly: "I'm still imitating you; I'm not saying I'll stab you."

Chu Ya remained expressionless throughout. After Shen Juanjuan finished, he leaned close and whispered: "Right? Do you like me a lot?"

Chu Ya closed his eyes, and Shen Juanjuan pressed: "Are you listening? Are you falling asleep? Are you asleep?"

"Mm."

Shen Juanjuan suppressed his excitement and reached out to touch Chu Ya's forehead, then his own: "Uh? I can't feel my head, it's the shirt. You're not running a fever, right? Then I'll sleep too, sleep, sleep."

"Shen Miaomiao, Shen Miaomiao..." Shen Juanjuan murmured softly, his eyes closed but still mumbling: "If you wake up and I'm still sleeping, don't run away, and don't crawl through that hole in the wall..."

Chu Ya listened as his voice faded, hoping he would fall asleep quickly so he could think clearly about everything and check his mental domain.