Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Upon hearing this, Zhao Li’s face flushed with embarrassment as she coquettishly reprimanded, "Jiangjiang, have you already thought about having children with me in the future?"

Why did he run away just now then? Was he playing hard to get?

With great anticipation, Zhao Li asked, "So, do you want me to give birth to a leather jacket or a little cotton padded jacket?"

Guo Jiang paused for a second and said, "If conditions permit, I just want us to have a child."

It was as if Zhao Li understood Guo Jiang's implication. Her pupils turned darker, and a sinister aura suddenly surged around her.

Guo Jiang immediately slid to his knees in submission, "I was wrong, Lili, let's do the premarital check-up first."

Confused, Zhao Li looked at the young Dr. Wu. As a fierce ghost, she didn’t feel the same skepticism living humans had toward young doctors. After all, he may look young, but who knows how long ago he died? Who knows how long he's been at it in the afterlife?

"I thought people weren't into marriage anymore? Why is a mandatory premarital check-up required now? I didn’t hear anything about this tonight." Zhao Li looked at Dr. Wu suspiciously and complained.

Dr. Wu, the new Yin marriage medical examiner, patiently explained the new policy to her. "Yes, in the living world, premarital check-ups are no longer mandatory. Because fewer people are tying the knot and having fewer kids, reincarnation slots are in high demand, leaving too many ghosts stranded in the underworld. When people have full bellies, they start thinking about love. Naturally, more ghosts in the underworld want to get married. With more marriages, we’ve got to make sure we’re keeping quality in check, right?"

"Sister, don't you agree?"

Zhao Li was sold on Dr. Wu's explanation. She nodded, a bit dizzy, and said, "You're right. I'll cooperate with the government on this."

The two newlyweds sat side by side at Dr. Wu's long table and obediently filled in the personal information section of the check-up form.

Guo Jiang, a guy from the 2000s, sneaked a glance at his girlfriend's personal info and was shocked to see her birth year—1971! She could be the same age as his mom.

Feeling slightly uncomfortable, Zhao Li gave a coquettish reprimand, "What do you know? An older woman brings wealth—a much older woman brings a gold mine!"

After all, she was in her prime when she died.

Dr. Wu patted the table and began to reason with Guo Jiang, "Comrade Guo, your thinking is wrong. Age is not a problem, and gender doesn't matter either."

Zhao Li had fully recognized Dr. Wu's identity as a government-employed doctor in the underworld and kept nodding, "Exactly, exactly."

"Dr. Wu, where do we go next for the check-up? Where is the Yin marriage hospital?"

Dr. Wu coughed and said, "No need to go anywhere. Just stretch out your hands, and I'll take your pulse. No need to run around to different departments and delay your marriage registration."

Zhao Li looked at Dr. Wu in disbelief, holding the check-up form. "Has the underground government become so poor?"

Thinking of the piles of burned paper money in the underworld, Zhao Li felt it was understandable that the underworld's finances were poor.

Seeing this, the government was really tightening their belts for their eugenics and fertility program.

The two of them stretched out their arms, male on the left and female on the right. Dr. Wu took their pulses simultaneously.

Guo Jiang wanted to cry. He hadn’t expected to end up doing a premarital check-up with Dr. Wu.

Guo Jiang's body was indeed excellent. All his organs were about 80% new, and his heart was nearly 90% new. Considering how hard students studied and how much working people were exploited, young people nowadays were quite fragile. Guo Jiang was definitely outstanding among them.

As for Zhao Li, by the standards of ghosts, she was also quite excellent, being a fierce ghost.

Dr. Wu picked up his pen and filled in the check-up form truthfully.

This was indeed faster and more convenient than running around to different departments for a check-up.

Zhao Li took the check-up forms and, upon seeing the results, became happy. "All the check-up indicators are qualified. Does this mean we can take these medical certificates to the City God's Temple to get our Yin marriage license?"

Guo Jiang's face was turning green with anxiety as he looked at Wu Heng.

"This isn't how the script is supposed to go!"

Wu Heng's slender hand slammed down on the two examination forms and said calmly, "I'm sorry, but your marriage medical examination is unqualified."

Zhao Li was shocked, while Guo Jiang was on the verge of tears of happiness. Yes, yes, yes, this is how the script is supposed to go.

"If forced into a ghost marriage, who knows what they'd give birth to—a human, a ghost, or something even worse."

Zhao Li burst out in anger, "Nonsense! All our physical indicators are qualified, so why are we unqualified? You quack doctor."

The female ghost's long red nails suddenly grew several times longer as she furiously emanated ghostly energy to intimidate Wu Heng, saying, "Do you have a license for this marriage medical examination? Show it to me, or I'll report you."

Wu Heng said, "It's basic knowledge that close relatives can't marry."

"What?"

"What?"

Both Guo Jiang and Zhao Li were stunned, staring at Wu Heng in disbelief.

"This script is a bit ahead of its time, isn't it?" But judging by Wu Heng's expression, it didn't look like he was making it up on the spot. Could it really be true?

Wu Heng, with an amused look, said, "Marriage within three generations is forbidden. You two are close relatives; you can't get married, not in the living world or the underworld."

Wu Heng smiled and said, "Comrade Guo, didn't your grandfather have a previous wife?"

Guo Jiang wasn't very familiar with his grandfather's past, but he vaguely remembered hearing from his elders, "Maybe, but I don't know much about it."

"Your grandfather was a drunk and a gambler. He would beat his wife when he was drunk, even when she was pregnant. After giving birth to your father, the first wife ran away before her confinement period was over. She later met her subsequent husband and had a daughter."

"The girl was raised well, but after finishing high school, her family's fortunes declined. As coastal development was booming, she decided to go to another province for work, but on the way, there was a heavy rainstorm, and she died in a car crash."

Zhao Li sat stunned in her chair, staring at Wu Heng.

That was me.

She had died on her way to another province. That night, in the heavy rain, the car overturned into a ditch, and she passed away.

Wu Heng hit the nail on the head.

Guo Jiang, feeling even more dazed, said, "So, does that make Lili my... younger aunt?"

If this had happened in the living world, it would have been a disaster, but now with the added complication of a ghost marriage, why is it so hard to find true love and get married?

Zhao Li found it even harder to accept, shouting, "How can this be?! We were brought together by love."

Wu Heng stroked his chin and said, "Love between an aunt and nephew is still love. It's not wrong."

Zhao Li was hit hard: "..."

Damn it!

What was once love had inexplicably turned into family.

Zhao Li wailed endlessly, choking on her sobs, "I can't accept this. I really can't accept it. How can this be? What kind of mandatory marriage medical examination is this? Why didn't they introduce the policy earlier, or later, but exactly tonight? You're all bullying me. The underworld is unjust, and I won't accept it!"

This girl was indeed very delicate. Although her crying stirred up a ghostly wind, she cried like a willow in the rain, looking pitifully sorrowful, a real tear-stained figure.

Guo Jiang felt a pang in his heart seeing Zhao Li cry so desperately. Up until yesterday, she was the girlfriend he was about to marry. How could he bear to see her like this? Now, everything was in chaos, and unexpectedly, he suddenly had a little aunt who had died even before he was born.

As Guo Jiang thought this, the still-sniffling Zhao Li looked at him reluctantly, bit her lip, and seemingly made up her mind before saying to Wu Heng, "How about I introduce another young female ghost to Jiangjiang? We can do the marriage check-up and get the marriage certificate right away. What do you think?"

Guo Jiang: "..."

Are you serious, Aunt Zhao? Why are you so determined to get me a marriage certificate for a posthumous marriage?

Wu Heng asked curiously, "Do you have a new candidate?"

Zhao Li nonchalantly replied, "Not really. But there's still half an hour before the Ghost Gate closes, right? I'll just grab a good-looking one on the way."

Only a fierce ghost would say something like that.

Zhao Li then asked Guo Jiang, "Jiangjiang, do you have any preferences for how the female ghost... died?"

Guo Jiang: "(Did he dare?)"

Wu Heng's expression became serious as he admonished the fierce ghost lady, "Absurd! Respect the freedom of marriage! No forced marriages!"

As soon as Zhao Li heard the words "forced marriage," she burst into tears again, wailing. She and Guo Jiang were a couple, so how did it become an arranged marriage? Heaven was unjust!

Guo Jiang couldn't help but ask, "Aunt Zhao... my dear Zhao Li, why are you so determined to get me a marriage certificate for a posthumous marriage?"

And she was in such a hurry that she was willing to drag any random ghost to marry him.

In Guo Jiang's memory, Zhao Li had always been a delicate girl with a strong sense of jealousy. She sometimes got upset when he taught female students at the gym.

Zhao Li fell silent, her head lowered, and Guo Jiang could only turn to Wu Heng for help.

Wu Heng scrutinized Guo Jiang deeply and said, "Someone is probably after your organs."

When Zhao Li was alive, she had been happy and loved by her parents. Even though she died in an accident, logically, she should have entered the cycle of reincarnation. How did she become a fierce ghost if not for external forces?

Guo Jiang was confused and didn't quite understand what Wu Heng meant by "organs being targeted."

Wu Heng explained briefly, "Someone wants your organs, and your aunt is afraid something might happen to you, so she wants you to get married to avoid any accidents."

Zhao Li sniffled and finally confessed honestly, "Initially, I was assigned to approach Guo Jiang to extract his organs, but I ended up falling in love and didn't want Jiangjiang to get hurt."

"Only by marrying a fierce ghost and obtaining a marriage certificate can Jiangjiang's soul be 'marked' as no longer an ordinary soul. They won't be able to harm him, and it will cause them a lot of trouble."

Wu Heng nodded. "Because you've been in contact for so long, Guo Jiang has absorbed your yin energy. Since the deity of the abandoned City God Temple is no longer active, there's a good chance they'll mistake you both for yin souls and grant you a posthumous marriage certificate."

"But you didn't take into account that one of you is human and the other is a ghost. A posthumous marriage won't benefit Guo Jiang."

Zhao Li covered her face and cried again. Wu Heng had gotten everything right.

The underworld was indeed both poor and unjust. A capable and handsome ghost like him was assigned to be a marriage check-up officer, not even an impermanent.

Guo Jiang was shocked and felt an icy chill all over. No wonder! No wonder Wu Heng had told him during their call that his organs were 80% new and in excellent condition. Someone had been eyeing him.

Guo Jiang exclaimed angrily, "Stealing someone's organs is illegal!"

Wu Heng chuckled. The underworld isn't like the living world with its myriad of laws and regulations. In this strange world, more and more bizarre diseases were emerging, and some people were probably having sinister thoughts.

Wu Heng said, "Just like that graduate student whose... part was removed, the organs of living people might appear normal on the surface."

Guo Jiang felt a deep chill. He roughly understood what Wu Heng meant. If his yin soul were to have its organs harvested, there might be no visible issues on the surface, but his body would gradually deteriorate, and no hospital could find the cause, leading to a slow death.

Guo Jiang uncomfortably turned his head towards the weeping Zhao Li. He had thought the female ghost was deceiving him, faking her emotions and intentions to scam him into death. But... Zhao Li was actually trying to save him.

Damn, his sweet romance was gone, and his wife was gone too.

Wu Heng fell deep in thought. Was this just about harvesting organs from ghosts, or had it become so rampant that they were harvesting organs from the living too? This was uncertain.

And... by the time a child needs to go to the toilet, they’ve already soiled themselves. It seems it’s not just Guo Jiang.

Wu Heng glanced at the time and said, "The Ghost Gate is closing; you need to leave."

Zhao Li was startled and shook her head repeatedly, "I can’t go, I can’t leave. What will happen to Jiang Jiang if I do?"

The heart of Guo Jiang's soul was incredibly fresh, very attractive to fierce ghosts.

Wu Heng replied patiently, "I'll call a yin emissary to escort you on your journey. You can report this in the underworld and redeem yourself by helping out. What about Guo Jiang?"

"My patient, I’ve got him covered," Wu Heng said, tilting his head, "Understand?"

Guo Jiang: "..."

Zhao Li: "..."

This village doctor probably watches too many TV dramas.

Wu Heng folded the two soul marriage medical examination forms into ingots. In no time, he had folded them into ingots.

Wu Heng stood up and threw the ingots into the night sky, softly muttering a yin spell.

Soon, from the lingering yin energy, a white-robed yin emissary with a lantern emerged. The ghost looked excited and rubbed his hands, muttering to himself, "Someone's burning ingots for me again... Damn, how is it you again, Wu Heng?"

"Aren't you tired of this? I'm here to collect money from another district, not to see you."

These two ingots were just average, not made from proper yellow paper money, but thanks to Wu Heng's hands, they had some economic value.

Wu Heng threw the two ingots into Lai Jun's arms and pointed to the weeping Zhao Li, saying, "Escort this fierce ghost back. She has important matters to report to your superiors."

The yin emissary Lai looked at the two average ingots and then at the fierce ghost, giving Wu Heng a surprised look.

After a few seconds, Lai couldn't help but ask, "Wu Heng, are you some kind of saint or something?"

Wu Heng: "..."

Lai Wazi awkwardly looked at the person he once knew and said in a dry tone, "Don't tell me that now that you're clear-headed, you've forgotten everything. I... I pushed you into a dried well before I died and even injured your head. Does this mean I'll get promoted and earn a raise?"

If reported properly, the code on the lamp might move forward a few places.

Wu Heng nodded, "I know."

"There was a voice that kept telling you to take me to the water, right?"

Lai Wazi's eyes widened in surprise, correct!

That voice had annoyed him to no end, disturbing his sleep day and night. He thought he was hallucinating and even went to Chengde Medical Hall to get medicine from the old village doctor. He still remembered how the old man Wu Heng looked at him playing with mud with a heavy expression.

After taking two doses of medicine, it got better, but the voice still occasionally appeared in his mind.

He had a vague feeling that if he didn’t do something, he might continue to hallucinate and encounter unimaginable things.

Although he looked down on fools and liked to be a ghost fire youth with his gangster friends, he still listened to his grandma. His grandma, old lady Lai, had told him that the Lai family shouldn’t offend anyone from Chengde Medical Hall.

Should I take her to the water? The river outside Nan Nuo Village, though considered the mother river by the villagers, has very swift currents. A mentally challenged child by the river would definitely end in disaster. I figure well water is still water, right? The well's dry, but pouring in some mineral water should do the trick. Just bluff it.

Lai Wazi couldn't help but ask, "So what was the voice I heard? I still don't know."

Wu Heng didn't answer, instead asking, "Did you see your grandfather?"

Lai Wazi's grandfather was the one who carried Wu Heng back to the Wu family in the middle of the night. He drowned in the river the following day.

Lai Wazi shook his head, looking slightly confused. "No, he's been dead for many years. He probably has been reincarnated already."

Wu Heng nodded. "Alright, you take Zhao Li away."

Lai Wazi couldn't help but feel like being a bully again. What's going on? Why is Wu Heng not revealing anything to him and only getting information from him? He took the opportunity when Wu Heng wasn't looking to flip him off.

Lai Yin Chai looped the soul-binding rope around Zhao Li and dragged her—his new 'achievement'—toward the ghost gate.

She kept looking back at Guo Jiang, a true case of life-and-death separation.

"Why are you crying?"

Zhao Li cried, "I'm crying because I failed the medical check-up for the ghost wedding."

So sad. If only the medical check-up had passed, would she and Guo Jiang already be a couple?

Lai Yin Chai was stunned and curiously asked, "When did the underworld start requiring medical check-ups for ghost weddings?"

Zhao Li replied, "It was implemented tonight. You're not up-to-date, Lord Yin Emissary?"

Lai Yin Chai, "6."

Seeing Lai Yin Chai's oddly smiling ghost face, Zhao Li turned her head in disbelief, wanting to curse Wu Heng.

But in that moment of turning her head, Wu Heng and Guo Jiang were already gone, leaving behind only the paper-folded long table from the ghost wedding medical check-up, as if mocking her actions.

*

Zhao Li cried, "Wu Heng, you heaven-damned! Give me back my real husband!"

After parting with Zhao Li, Guo Jiang obediently followed Wu Heng. Gradually, he felt the surrounding air becoming scorching hot. The midsummer night was like being in a steamer, and all he could hear were the sounds of cicadas. Guo Jiang knew he was out.

Guo Jiang breathed a sigh of relief. "Doctor Wu Heng, just now you said Lili is my little aunt from the same family but different grandfather. Was that something you made up on the spot?"

Wu Heng shook his head. "No fabrication, it's true."

By taking the pulse, he could see the patient's life story. He hadn't lied about anything except the identity forgery.

Wu Heng thought that maybe he should really get him a job as a medical check-up officer for ghost weddings.

Losing his spirit, Guo Jiang stood there blankly, staring ahead. He muttered, "So... Lili and I are actually close relatives. I was in this relationship and even planning to get married?"

Wu Heng said, "But you didn't get married."

Guo Jiang, a grown man, squatted on the ground and wailed loudly. This was a cliff-like breakup.

Crying and crying, he started to hiccup, and Guo Jiang even felt a little nauseous.

Was this the result of being deeply in love? Guo Jiang wondered.

Doctor Wu Heng glanced at him. "How much mud have you been eating?"

Huh? Mud?

Guo Jiang was confused. When did I have time to eat mud? He tried to recall what he had eaten recently...

"Doctor Wu, I saw a place called Chengde Medical Hall when I was in the car, so I went in and bought some ginger slices. I only ate those."

Wu Heng smiled. "That was just your imagination. You ate mud dug from the ground."

Guo Jiang must have been thinking about Chengde Medical Hall, which is why he saw it in his hallucination.

Still confused, Guo Jiang asked, "But after I ate those ginger slices, I woke up to find that the day had turned into night. It was like I broke the illusion."

Wu Heng patiently explained, "The illusion wasn't broken by eating mud, but by your own inner strength growing and breaking the hallucination."

It's like people say: righteous people are not easily troubled by ghosts. The stronger you are, the weaker they become. The more afraid you are, the more they close in.

As long as you're not afraid, ghosts can't do anything to you.

Wu Heng quickly added, "However, ginger slices are indeed a remedy to ward off evil. They have strong effects in dispelling filth and evil."

The ancient name for ginger, 'warder of a hundred evils,' is not without reason. Most people can't get their hands on effective protective charms, but ginger slices can serve as a substitute.

Seeing that Guo Jiang looked deep in thought, Wu Heng, noticing the police car approaching ahead, added, "The cops are here to save you. Go on. I'm off."

Seeing that Guo Jiang wanted to say something more, Wu Heng added, "Leave the organ issue to me."

"Are you Guo Jiang? Someone called the police and reported you missing. Are you okay?" A police officer who was approaching them asked, looking at the sweaty Guo Jiang.

"I'm fine, thanks," Guo Jiang nodded. When he turned back, Wu Heng had already disappeared.

Guo Jiang reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone, and guessed that the police had located him through the GPS. But hadn't the phone been taken by Li Li earlier?

Guo Jiang felt a pang in his heart. It was probably Li Li who secretly put it in his pocket before she left.

A love lost forever.

After giving his statement at the police station, it wasn't long before a Shark account named "Help" went live. As soon as you entered the stream, you could see Guo Jiang crying and sniffling. "Folks, who understands... Doctor Wu Heng saved my life..."

"Whoa, this guy is actually back from the dead? Weren't you off to get your marriage certificate in the afterlife?"

"So did Doctor Wu Heng really save the streamer? Brother, give us the details. How were you rescued?"

"Waaaa, bro, were you really with Doctor Wu Heng? Can you ask him what to do if you've already given him and your wife the wedding red envelope? I'm shaking all over."

"Where's your wife? Can you call her out... Never mind, sister-in-law is beautiful, but I don't want to see her. It scares me."

Guo Jiang, choking on his sobs, cried out, "Don't mention the wife. She's my aunt!"

"???"

"What? Aunt? Dude, you're playing wild!"

"I knew something good would happen if I stayed up."

Not wanting to go into details, Guo Jiang, still crying, said, "Anyway, I want to thank Doctor Wu for coming to rescue me. If not for him, I really would've been done for. Also, I just wanted to let everyone know I'm safe and remind you all to get a premarital checkup before getting your marriage certificate. A checkup by Doctor Wu Heng is even more reliable."

Doctor Wu Heng, with his wet, messy hair, walked into the Li family villa, quite satisfied, holding his phone.

Look at this patient Guo Jiang, still advertising for his doctor.

That's right, the pre-marital check-up is extremely important! It's such a pity that his ghost marriage examiner was a fake.

Wu Heng watched the crowd coming towards him, and his eyes landed on Chen Zhao.

"Chen, bro, I'll give you 100 yuan. Can you help me get proof of internship for a ghost marriage examiner from the Xuanmen?"

Chen Zhao's interest vanished with the last sentence. He spat out the sunflower seed shells in his mouth, looked around, and pointed at himself, "Ah? Me?"