Chapter 38

Chapter 38

Zhong Xi’s ears were ringing.

Every word Huo Sicheng said left him stunned.

What is Huo Sicheng even talking about?

Does he even realize what he’s saying?

His voice was laced with jealousy that scorched Zhong Xi, who thought in bewilderment: Does being jealous give you the right to say such hurtful things?

Even after Qi Jiaran moved into their house, Zhong Xi never doubted Huo Sicheng’s loyalty. At his most jealous, he only brought up the Mulberry Jasmine Tea twice, but he never asked: Did you bring an omega into our house to cheat on me?

He didn’t need to ask—trust was the foundation of love to him.

Even though he never felt secure with Huo Sicheng, he never doubted Huo Sicheng’s loyalty in their marriage.

He couldn’t figure out why Huo Sicheng was so obsessed with Shen Binbai.

No matter how deeply that one-year online relationship with Shen Binbai had marked him, just based on time, Huo Sicheng was already irreplaceable.

In fact, if Huo Sicheng didn’t bring it up every time he got jealous, Zhong Xi wouldn’t even remember Shen Binbai.

But Shen Binbai had always been a thorn in Huo Sicheng’s side. Whenever Zhong Xi gazed at the stars, pushed Huo Sicheng away, or muttered about their lack of common interests, Shen Binbai’s name would spark their fights.

Zhong Xi suddenly realized that Huo Sicheng’s constant jealousy wasn’t just about possessiveness, but a hidden distrust of him.

He couldn’t see how much Zhong Xi had put into this relationship; he didn’t believe in Zhong Xi’s choices and judgments.

He only saw things from his own point of view.

Maybe to him, Zhong Xi would always be that naive fool who was forced by his parents to study ammunition engineering, foolishly believed he was an alien, and was easily tricked by Shen Binbai with a keychain.

Calling Huo Sicheng selfish might sound harsh, but Zhong Xi was truly tired.

He wanted to explain, but he was too drained.

"Did I get any of it right?"

Huo Sicheng was still pressing him.

Both choices were ridiculous. Zhong Xi knew Huo Sicheng had no evidence and was just venting his jealousy, but his heart still ached with an inevitable, suffocating pain.

He softly said, "If you’ve got proof, show it. As the Chairman, do you really convict people based on guesses?"

Huo Sicheng was too angry to be rational.

He harshly said, "My partner of three years is full of red flags, appearing at the crime scene when I had an accident. Shouldn’t I be suspicious? If we followed strict investigative procedures, you should be sitting in the interrogation room at the police station right now."

Zhong Xi’s gaze was heavy.

The exhaustion he felt at this moment was similar to when he found out six years ago that Huo Sicheng had signed up for the Navy Commando.

A sense of helplessness.

The kind of helplessness where you want to hold on but can’t.

He wanted to ask: Huo Sicheng, do you know how I felt when I saw your helicopter fall like a kite with its string cut on the day of your accident?

Maybe he really does need to see a therapist.

Or, like his mom said, escape to some remote island where nobody knows him and start fresh in the peaceful Yunshui Village.

"Huo Sicheng," Zhong Xi suddenly called his name.

Huo Sicheng’s brow twitched.

Zhong Xi leaned back against the car door, his temple resting on the tinted glass, muttering, "It feels like even after seven years together, we still don’t know how to love each other."

Huo Sicheng was thrown off by Zhong Xi’s quiet words, the anger he’d been stewing over all afternoon suddenly had nowhere to go.

"You—"

Huo Sicheng hated feeling like he was losing ground with Zhong Xi. He grabbed Zhong Xi's wrist and pulled him closer.

Zhong Xi had spent the whole afternoon crying and was completely drained. Huo Sicheng hadn't even used much force, but Zhong Xi was already frowning in pain, his arm felt like it was about to give out, like a loose hinge ready to break.

"Why can’t you just give me a straight answer? If you didn’t do it, why not just say so?" Huo Sicheng really couldn't understand Zhong Xi.

He seized the moment, pinching Zhong Xi’s chin and forcing his mouth open, "Is it so hard to speak?"

Zhong Xi looked straight at him.

There were tears in Zhong Xi's eyes.

Huo Sicheng saw his tears clearly this time.

Huo Sicheng’s heart melted on the spot, "Just tell me you’re over your so-called first love, that you want to make this work with me, that you love me, that I’m the one in your heart."

Huo Sicheng didn’t know what to do with Zhong Xi—he couldn’t hurt him, couldn’t reach him, but the frustration was eating him alive. He said hoarsely, "I know I love you, everyone knows I love you, I care about you, I care about our child, I care about this family! So as long as you say what I want to hear, I will never ask again in this lifetime."

His furrowed brow softened, his tone caught between a threat and a plea, "Zhong Xi, answer me this once, and I will never ask again in this lifetime."

Zhong Xi still refused to speak.

As the sky began to darken, Huo Sicheng’s patience finally snapped. He couldn't find a reason to humbly maintain this relationship. He grabbed Zhong Xi’s wrist, yanking him closer, desperate to read the emotions in his eyes.

Zhong Xi’s gaze was empty. All the anger, sadness, and resentment had vanished, leaving nothing behind—like he was staring at a stranger.

"Talk!" Huo Sicheng shouted.

Even without sensing pheromones, Zhong Xi could feel the raw violence radiating from Huo Sicheng. He instinctively struggled, and Huo Sicheng used even more force, the veins on the back of his hand bulging.

Finally, Zhong Xi spoke, his voice steady, "I’ve never doubted you and Qi Jiaran."

Huo Sicheng was stunned.

"All these years, from military school to the Foreign Ministry to Blue Rock Base, with all those people—especially those omegas—trying to get close to you, I’ve never once doubted your loyalty. Even when you were away on long trips, dealing with your ruts alone, I never questioned you. What are you even questioning? Is this just about your possessiveness, or do you not trust me at all?"

Huo Sicheng’s breath hitched, momentarily speechless.

"After you lost your memory, you stopped caring about me, kept hurting me, and I put up with it. But even before you lost your memory, it was the same. When you saw those photos, you lost it and started fighting with me. I really don't understand, are you that insecure? The one who should be insecure is me! What have I gotten out of being with you? Nothing but losing my freedom and living in constant fear. What right do you have to accuse me?"

Huo Sicheng was stunned by his scolding, urgently wanting to regain control, so he tightened his grip on Zhong Xi's wrist and pressed him, "So why did you appear in Junshan Forest that day, why?"

Zhong Xi used all his strength to break free from Huo Sicheng's grip, his anger not yet subsided, "If you really think I’m guilty, go check the supermarket cameras or my dashcam instead of throwing these dumb questions at me. I’m not answering any of them!"

Tears clung to his long lashes, rolling down his cheeks as he spoke word by word, "Why I was in Junsan Forest that day, Huo Sicheng, you don’t deserve to know."

In the past month, the words Zhong Xi had spoken combined were not as many as those in this single minute. The jealousy in Huo Sicheng's heart slowly faded, leaving only endless regret and helplessness.

Before Huo Sicheng could get a word out, Zhong Xi pushed the car door open and stepped out. Huo Sicheng reacted quickly, reaching out his hand, but only brushed the hem of Zhong Xi's clothes.

"Zhong Xi!"

The car door slammed shut with a bang.

Zhong Xi had never shown such intense emotions before, every word dripping with disappointment.

Huo Sicheng's eyelids twitched uncontrollably.

A faint unease crept into his heart.

Zhong Xi drove his own car back to the military district, taking a less familiar route on purpose to avoid traveling with Huo Sicheng.

He tightly gripped the steering wheel, forcing himself to keep a clear head, not letting his emotions spiral out of control.

Truthfully, he didn’t want to return, but Xiao Bao was waiting for him.

Thinking of Huo Xiaobao, Zhong Xi wiped his tears with the back of his hand.

At a red light, he buried his face in his hands, took two deep breaths, composed himself, and tried to look relaxed, not wanting the child to see him vulnerable.

The journey from his parents' house to the military district took about forty minutes.

Every few minutes, Zhong Xi was overcome with anguish, so he turned on the car stereo to distract himself.

The first few songs were in English. Zhong Xi heard a line: "The stars twinkle, there is always one that belongs to me."

Zhong Xi stopped at a red light and looked up at the sky.

There were no stars during the day, but at the edge of his vision, a faint, dim star seemed to flicker into view.

Zhong Xi froze. Was that his BR2786?

His BR2786 hadn't appeared for a long time.

After graduating from university, he stopped believing he was from another planet. He came to accept that BR2786 was just a figment of his imagination.

Perhaps, as Zhou Fei had said: "When you grow up, you outgrow those childish ideas."

Like on a certain night later, when he held a fairy tale book and told bedtime stories to Huo Xiaobao, he would suddenly zone out, as if remembering something, then quickly snapping back.

"In the forest lived a little rabbit named George, her friend was a squirrel named Linda..." and "I am from another planet," seemed to have no essential difference—both were harmless lies, the former deceiving a child, the latter deceiving oneself.

He thought his BR2786 would disappear forever.

Just like the passing of youth.

But on this day, when Zhong Xi was trapped in reality and suddenly thought of leaving.

That star seemed to appear again.

Silently hanging in the sky, just as it had accompanied the lonely little Zhong Xi many years ago, without joy or sorrow.

Is it my hallucination? Zhong Xi wondered.

Is it just psychological suggestion?

Can I really leave? Do I really want to leave him?

But I still love him.

The car behind honked, urging Zhong Xi to move. He started the car, crossed the intersection, and continued driving towards the military base.

Unfortunately, at the crossroads of life, no one can tell Zhong Xi what the right answer is.

Half an hour later, he arrived home.

The car stopped at the doorstep, and the guard helped him park it. He hurried inside with the beef stew Zhou Fei had prepared for Huo Xiaobao.

Qi Jiaran was sitting at the dining table reading a book on nutrition, his face clearly showing he was unhappy. When he saw Zhong Xi, he failed to switch his expression smoothly and only hurriedly stood up, saying, "Mr. Zhong, you’re back."

Zhong Xi ignored him and headed straight upstairs. Before entering the children’s room, he heard Huo Xiaobao’s sobbing.

Huo Xiaobao had been brought home by Huo Sicheng in the afternoon. Xiao Xu had made him a less-than-appetizing complementary dinner. After eating, he waited and waited but Zhong Xi didn’t return. He played with building blocks alone, feeling upset, and eventually fell asleep.

Without his parents around, he slept restlessly.

Soon, he was awakened by the sound of a car downstairs—it was Mommy’s car. He clung to the edge of the small bed, anxiously calling for his mother.

Fortunately, Zhong Xi returned just in time.

The moment Zhong Xi opened the door, Huo Xiaobao’s tears fell, and his sobbing intensified.

Zhong Xi immediately walked over and hugged him.

Huo Xiaobao tightly wrapped his arms around Zhong Xi’s neck, whimpering, "Xiao Bao has been waiting for Mommy all day..."

Zhong Xi’s heart ached deeply.

Children always easily touch the softest part of Zhong Xi’s heart. His eyes stung, and he couldn’t help but kiss Huo Xiaobao’s face, saying, "I’m sorry, Mommy was busy today. I’m sorry, Xiao Bao."

Huo Xiaobao noticed Zhong Xi’s reddened eyes and reached out to touch them, "Mommy’s eyes are red."

Zhong Xi quickly turned away, fixed his expression, and faced Huo Xiaobao with a relaxed smile, saying gently, "No, the wind outside was strong, and it made Mommy’s eyes red."

Huo Xiaobao hugged Zhong Xi with his soft arms.

"Grandma made beef soup. Would Xiao Bao like some?"

Mentioning the beef soup, Huo Xiaobao said eagerly, "Yes!"

Zhong Xi went downstairs to heat the soup and quickly prepared two small meat pies, cut them into pieces, and placed them on a plate.

During this time, Huo Sicheng returned home.

Zhong Xi didn’t look up, acting as if he weren’t there. Huo Sicheng paused for a few seconds in front of the kitchen counter but eventually went upstairs alone.

Zhong Xi stayed with Huo Xiaobao for their late-night snack.

Even though it was the meat soup and small pies that Huo Xiaobao loved, he kept his eyes glued to Zhong Xi while eating, as if afraid that Zhong Xi would leave again.

Zhong Xi fed him with a small spoon, and Huo Xiaobao said, "Mommy eats first, then Xiao Bao."

Zhong Xi was taken aback, "Why is that?"

"Mom is upset, Mom should eat first."

All sadness melted away in Huo Xiaobao's presence, and Zhong Xi felt a dull ache in his heart.

He fought to keep his nearly broken emotions in check, took a sip of the hot soup, and then cautiously asked, "Mom hasn’t been feeling happy lately, Xiao Bao, do you want—"

The words caught in his throat, too painful to say.

Huo Xiaobao blinked his wide, round eyes, waiting earnestly for Zhong Xi to finish.

Zhong Xi didn't know how to begin.

He couldn't ask the child: Mom wants to separate from Dad, would you be willing to leave here with Mom?

It was too cruel.

After much hesitation, Zhong Xi still couldn’t find the words to explain to Huo Xiaobao. He forced a smile, trying to distract Huo Xiaobao and avoid the topic.

Huo Xiaobao seemed to genuinely feel Zhong Xi's emotions.

He obediently finished his little cake and soup, wiped his hands, and then followed Zhong Xi everywhere, as if afraid that Zhong Xi might suddenly disappear again. Wherever Zhong Xi went, he followed.

He toddled on his short legs, looking up and staring intently at Zhong Xi, saying, "Mom, I'll sing 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.'"

Zhong Xi was torn between heartache and helplessness, and could only pick him up.

Huo Xiaobao peppered Zhong Xi's face with kisses, then clung to Zhong Xi's neck, refusing to let go. He nestled into Zhong Xi's shoulder, babbling and singing.

Zhong Xi took a deep breath, tightly encircling Huo Xiaobao in his arms, gently stroking his back.

He couldn’t bring himself to talk to the child.

Huo Sicheng was buried in work in the room, constantly on calls, completely neglecting personal matters. Zhong Xi couldn’t find the right moment to bring up the divorce with Huo Sicheng.

It was a stalemate either way.

Zhong Xi was trapped in an impossible dilemma.

When love turns into a chain, even leaving feels selfish.