Chapter 45 Cutting Silence

Chapter 45 Cutting Silence

Zhao Shengge finished replying to a few emails when the other party finally responded: "???"

"You don't read them anyway!! I've already discussed today's conceptual framework with Mr. Chen separately," Fang Jian informed him with some satisfaction. "Given the current depth, it might be difficult for you and Mr. Xu to understand, so we've decided to create a simplified version to coordinate with Minglong's technical team."

Fang Jian, confident in his abilities, wasn't one to butter up clients and directly told his old classmate, "You don't have to concern yourself with it. We'll provide a detailed report when it's time to prepare for implementation and funding."

"..." Zhao Shengge was silent for two seconds, then said, "Share it in the group chat."

Fang Jian: "It won't be ready that quickly."

Zhao Shengge: "Don't simplify it, just share the original."

Fang Jian: "Do you think you can understand it?"

Zhao Shengge: "Feel free to test me."

"..." Fang Jian, who had his own time management, didn't like others disrupting his plans. "I'm in the middle of experiments and won't be available until after 1 AM."

"..." Zhao Shengge, as the client, politely notified him, "I have a meeting tomorrow; I’d appreciate it if you could share it in the group within ten minutes."

"..." Fang Jian muttered a few curses. If it weren't for the hefty sum Minglong was paying and the fact that he still had a pack of hungry grad students to support, he would have left the group immediately.

Ten minutes later, a compressed file was shared in the group chat, taking a long time due to its large size.

The blaring music was giving Chen Wan a headache. He thought he might have misread it, but after careful comparison, he confirmed it was the same file Fang Jian had mentioned to him that morning.

Chen Wan didn't know why the other party had changed their mind, as Fang Jian had told him in the morning that they would present a streamlined version of the plan and design to both clients in a consolidated report.

The group chat stayed quiet, but Chen Wan had a knack for diffusing awkwardness wherever he went. He commented on the materials as though it was his first time seeing them.

Then he went straight to Zhao Shengge’s chat window to check, but there was no response.

Chen Wan waited a bit longer, until Zhuo Zhixuan had already made the rounds, sharing drinks with several groups of girls, but the chat window remained quiet.

Was Zhao Shengge still tied up with work and hadn’t seen it? Or was he out enjoying the weekend nightlife?

Several times, Chen Wan had already started typing, but then deleted it.

He was the vendor, and could only passively wait for the client to come to him for a report. It was unheard of for the vendor to pressure the client, especially on a weekend.

Chen Wan declined a lady's invitation to drink, and his phone lit up.

Zhao Shengge actually called him directly.

Chen Wan stood up and walked out of the booth under Zhuo Zhixuan's unresponsive gaze, finding a slightly quieter place to answer.

"Mr. Zhao."

"Chen Wan."

Zhao Shengge's voice was low, deeper than usual. Chen Wan felt it was somewhat distorted but wasn't sure: "Mr. Zhao, do you want to discuss the plan Fang Jian posted in the group?"

Zhao Shengge didn't answer immediately, pausing for two seconds before saying, "Are you outside?"

"Is it noisy?" Chen Wan covered the microphone while quickly looking for a quieter place. "I am outside, but I'm free now. We can discuss it. I just finished looking at the 3D diagram this afternoon."

Zhao Shengge said, "Is it convenient for you?"

"It’s fine."

Zhao Shengge expressed understanding, "If it’s not a good time, we can discuss it later."

Chen Wan firmly stated, "It’s fine, work comes first. Earlier, Fang Bo mentioned—"

Zhao Shengge coughed lightly.

"Mr. Zhao," Chen Wan paused, "Are you okay?"

His voice was definitely hoarse.

Zhao Shengge remained silent for two seconds before saying, "No, go on."

Chen Wan hesitated, then lowered his voice, "Mr. Zhao, your health matters."

Recently, with the change of seasons, the flu’s been going around, and many employees at Kexiang have taken sick leave one after another. Even the partner, Han Jin, unfortunately caught it, leaving Chen Wan to handle things on his own.

Han Jin, fearing Chen Wan might also fall ill, came back to work after a few days on an IV, mentioning that the hospital’s been packed.

Chen Wan glanced at his wristwatch, "If you feel unwell, you can rest first. I’ll get a report on the 3D diagram done ASAP—"

Zhao Shengge said, "It’s alright, I’m okay."

"..." Chen Wan felt his tone was lighter than usual, not exactly weak, but not as deep and forceful as usual, and worriedly asked, "Mr. Zhao, have you checked your temperature or taken any meds?"

After speaking, he felt his tone was too urgent, so he calmed his breath and added, "It’s flu season now, many people are sick. You’ve got to be careful; if you ignore it early, it’ll be harder to shake off later."

Zhao Shengge asked, "Really?"

Chen Wan said yes, feeling that Zhao Shengge was not paying enough attention to his health, so he asked more detailed questions, "What’s bothering you right now?"

"I’ve got a fever and a sore throat."

"I don’t know if it’s a fever," Chen Wan frowned, "You should check your temperature first. If it’s high, you should take fever-reducing medicine. You’ve got some at home, don’t you?"

"I think it’s expired," Zhao Shengge said, "It’s fine, let’s focus on work."

Chen Wan frowned, not following his lead, and instead asked, "Can you get the driver to bring some over?"

"He’s out sick."

Before Chen Wan could blurt out, "I’ll drop it off for you," he stopped himself.

Zhao Shengge’s whereabouts and address have always been strictly confidential. Asking that would be way too forward.

It felt like he was fishing for his address, trying to seize the moment.

Recently, he and Zhao Shengge have become somewhat familiar, but not to the extent of knowing each other’s addresses or delivering medicine in the middle of the night. Even Zhuo Zhixuan probably can’t just drop by Zhao Shengge’s place.

What right did Chen Wan have?

His mind was torn between logic and worry, both concerned about Zhao Shengge’s health and afraid of appearing scheming and being rejected.

Chen Wan rarely hesitated like this, and these few seconds felt particularly long, the atmosphere in the call slowly fading.

Because hesitation is a form of rejection.

And Chen Wan hesitated for too long, making it hard not to be misunderstood.

Silence is invisible, but it cuts deep.

Until a woman’s voice came from behind, "Hey, Mr. Chen, come back quickly, the bombshell is here."

It was the girl Zhuo Zhixuan had invited over for drinks. They were in a band and had a lot to talk about with Zhuo Zhixuan.

The already tense atmosphere grew even more charged. Zhao Shengge paused for two seconds before saying on the phone, "Go ahead, I’ll let you go."

Chen Wan called out, "Mr. Zhao," but the line had already gone dead.

Zhao Shengge’s headache really started then, but he still insisted on returning to his study to work, spending the lonely night reading hundreds of pages of group documents.

Zhao Shengge never thought of himself as pushy. He hated pressuring people, especially Chen Wan, and prided himself on being calm and composed.

But maybe the flu was just too much, leaving him emotionally fragile and mentally foggy, often leading to overconfidence and bad judgment.

Zhao Shengge had everything growing up, but he rarely got what he truly wanted, and perhaps, he never would.

When a strong person’s last shred of vulnerability slips out, if it’s ignored, it’s gone for good.

Long after the call, Chen Wan stayed frozen, his breath quickening, but he didn’t have his medicine.

He realized too late that he’d made a mistake, but some things are just a fleeting moment of consciousness, and once it’s gone, it’s gone.

He wanted to show his feelings but still keep things proper and dignified.

He thought he was perfect, but really, he was just scared and struggling.

Chen Wan was disappointed in himself, even a little disgusted.

"I’m sorry," he whispered, unsure who he was apologizing to—perhaps to the sick Zhao Shengge, or perhaps to the Chen Wan who once genuinely wanted to treat Zhao Shengge well.

He didn’t do it, he was terrible.

"What’s up?" Zhuo Zhixuan studied his face.

Chen Wan came back and had a drink.

"Hey," Zhuo Zhixuan cut in, "what’s going on?"

Chen Wan wiped his face and said, "It’s nothing."

Zhuo Zhixuan grabbed the drink, frowning. "Talk."

Chen Wan swallowed and told the truth.

"Zhao Shengge’s always been weird; it’s normal not to get him. But," Zhuo Zhixuan said, "you seem to have fallen into a misconception."

"What?"

"Well, how to put it," Zhuo Zhixuan, though not as tactful as Chen Wan in social situations, was certainly more experienced in the realm of romance than Chen Wan, who was hung up on one person, "Don’t you think you’re trying too hard?"

Chen Wan said softly, "You don’t understand."

Zhuo Zhixuan patted his shoulder, "I do, how could I not understand? Crushes are like walking a tightrope—every step’s a risk."

After all these years, he wasn’t unaware of how Chen Wan had been through it all: "You want to treat him right, but you’re scared to, and you don’t know how. But, have you ever thought that you might be magnifying things yourself? To everyone else, it’s just normal socializing."

Chen Wan lowered his eyes, "Is it?"

"If you're really scared, then compare it to how you treat me. For example, last time, if I said I wanted to win at the poker table, would you help me?"

"Yes."

"And the time before that, if I got into trouble at Eagle Pool, would you cover for me?"

"Yes." That goes without saying.

"Even further back, when we were having a meal together, and I left my cigarette case at the hotel, would you hand it to me personally?"

"Yes."

"Do you like me?"

"..."

Zhuo Zhixuan spread his hands: "So what’s the problem? What are you afraid of?"

"Chen Wan, you're too cautious," Zhuo Zhixuan has never had a crush on anyone, but that doesn't stop him from giving advice: "All those things you care so much about, so cautious about, in others' eyes, they're just basic social niceties. Nothing you’ve done has gone beyond what friends normally do."

"If you didn't say it, I wouldn't have known you still like him."

"..."

He spoke knowingly: "The bigger the crush, the better it’s hidden, right?"

"..."

"When you’re unsure, just measure it against how you would treat an ordinary friend. Forget about our friendship for a second, if tonight Tan Youming said he was feeling unwell and alone at home, and you happened to be out, wouldn’t it be natural to ask if he needed medicine? It’s completely normal. Not asking would be out of character for you, for Chen Wan."

Chen Wan was stunned, as if something had struck him right in the heart.

Normally, even if it were just an ordinary business partner, Chen Wan would offer enough emotional support, politely checking if they needed anything.

But with Zhao Shengge, because of his own apprehensions, all he offered was a few seconds of hesitant silence.

In a way, Chen Wan treated Zhao Shengge less than a regular friend.

Chen Wan felt a pang of regret and guilt.

His heart and all his love were meant for Zhao Shengge, but the one who deserved the most got the least.

This is unfair, getting it all backwards.

Zhao Shengge might not need Chen Wan’s care or medicine, Zhao Shengge has everything, Zhao Shengge can refuse, but Chen Wan shouldn't be silent. It’s a gesture, a sign of care.

It seriously violates his original intention and will. Chen Wan hopes Zhao Shengge feels cared for, hopes Zhao Shengge is not lonely when sick, hopes Zhao Shengge takes medicine and rests well.

Chen Wan feels remorseful and vows to make it right, but he’s not sure if there’s still time to fix it.

Author's note:

In Zhao Shengge's view, Chen Wan was off enjoying himself with girls at the Red Field, and he didn't even count as an ordinary friend.