Chapter 45 I Don’t Want to Be Alone

Chapter 45: I Don’t Want to Be Alone

At the hallway corner, Zhao Yunshu patted Jiang Ruotang’s shoulder. "Getting misunderstood is just how life works. Don’t dwell on it. I’ll get back to class now."

"Mm, got it."

Bai Yingchuan trailed behind them silently, feeling like his presence didn’t matter.

If it weren’t for Jian Sha’s words earlier, he knew he would still be sitting in his seat, hesitating and stewing over it.

This was something he had never experienced before. From childhood, Bai Yue had only taught him about taking sides and personal gain, ingraining in him the mindset of "staying out of other people’s business." Even Sister Yu had repeatedly warned him, "If you can stay out of it, don’t get involved."

He knew this kind of attitude wouldn’t earn him friends, but he had always believed he didn’t need friends anyway.

Yet this time, he had followed Jian Sha to fetch the principal. And then he realized—jumping in wasn’t so bad after all.

At the very least, it seemed like he got Jiang Ruotang to actually look back at him.

But this was the first time in his life he had ever waited for someone to turn around.

As if hearing his thoughts, Jiang Ruotang stopped and looked back at Bai Yingchuan, his voice upbeat. "Bai Yingchuan, thanks this time. If it weren’t for your influence, the principal might not have come. Who knows how long I’d have been stuck arguing with Old Wang otherwise!"

Jian Sha walked past Bai Yingchuan and laughed. "Yeah, props to our big shot for pulling strings."

Bai Yingchuan stayed silent, suddenly realizing his only role had been "lending his face."

Compared to Lu Guifan and Jian Sha, who had risked teacher reprimands or even parental calls, his clout meant nothing.

"Sister Sha, you’re so awesome. I’ll buy you boba!"

"Make it a whole week," Jian Sha said without hesitation.

"Deal!"

"You agreed so fast—I should’ve said a month," Jian Sha sighed, feeling like she’d lowballed herself.

Jiang Ruotang then leaned toward Lu Guifan and asked quietly, "By the way, Class Rep, do you know what’s up with Cai Ji? I think he’s a pretty good guy. Wasn’t he the one who told the teacher that Ye Jiaming ordered Meng Yang to break your glasses? Who knows what else Ye Jiaming might’ve done to compete with you for that recommendation spot. So I really don’t think Cai Ji would help Meng Yang cheat—they can’t stand each other!"

After hearing this, Lu Guifan fell silent for a moment before leading Jiang Ruotang to a corner, away from the others. "Cai Ji’s parents were always fighting. They divorced when he was around eight. His mom wanted custody, but Cai Ji chose to stay with his dad. Later, his dad remarried, and his stepmom brought along an older brother… things at home must be rough."

Jiang Ruotang immediately connected this to Meng Yang’s threats in the microwave room. He remembered Meng Yang saying he’d get Cai Ji’s brother to "teach him a lesson" at the internet café, and the cigarette burn scars on Cai Ji’s arm.

"Yikes—" Jiang Ruotang flinched.

Lu Guifan stopped and noticed his expression, reassuring him, "I’ll talk to the teachers about Cai Ji and ask them to investigate further—see if he’s being bullied."

Hearing this, Jiang Ruotang felt a little more at ease.

When he returned to his seat, his classmates couldn’t help but ask what had happened. He just laughed it off.

Zhao Zhangfeng poked Jiang Ruotang’s back and whispered, "Did my mom leave?"

"Yeah, she left. Don’t worry, the teacher didn’t mention you. And didn’t you move up three spots in the grade rankings this month?"

Moving up three spots? That’s basically nothing.

"Uh… sorry. I should’ve had your back, but Sister Sha said I’d just add fuel to the fire…"

Jiang Ruotang grinned and ruffled Zhao Zhangfeng’s hair. "What are you overthinking? If you’d gone, Old Wang would’ve scolded both of us brothers together. Talk about unfair."

Zhao Zhangfeng exhaled in relief, then asked, "What about Meng Yang? How’s he doing? If he gets a disciplinary record, he’s benched for the next game."

Jiang Ruotang sighed and said earnestly, "Zhangfeng, listen to me—you’re better off on your own."

Meng Yang’s character was just too awful. No way he plays fair either.

Zhao Zhangfeng didn’t respond, just slumped back onto his desk. Deep down, he was disgusted by Meng Yang’s behavior, but after playing basketball together for so many years, he couldn’t just walk away.

During break, Jiang Ruotang ran to the snack bar and bought several drinks.

He handed a latte to Lu Guifan, with a grin. "Thanks, Class Rep, for having my back against the teachers and coming to my rescue!"

"Thank yourself."

"Mm, thank myself for studying so hard that I melted the Class Rep’s icy heart!"

Lu Guifan tapped the cold can against Jiang Ruotang’s face, making him laugh before walking away.

Next, he gave orange juice to Jian Sha. "Thanks, Sister Sha, for being a heroine. The boba’s on layaway—I’ll order it for you at lunch."

"Mm, you’re dismissed, Xiao Jiang."

He bypassed Lin Lu’s seat and stopped in front of Bai Yingchuan. "Bai Yingchuan, I once again express my sincere gratitude for your righteous act of calling in the principal as backup. You probably watch your calorie intake, right? Here’s some sugar-free green tea—please enjoy."

Bai Yingchuan stared at the bottle of green tea, his palms oddly warm as he took it.

Even Zhao Zhangfeng in the back row was struggling not to burst out laughing—giving Bai Yingchuan *green tea* of all things?

What was Jiang Ruotang thinking?

And Lin Lu, sitting there acting like nothing happened, the picture of serenity—truly impressive.

Jian Sha sipped her orange juice and remarked, "Everyone gets a different flavor of drink. Someone just had to play innocent."

Zhao Zhangfeng looked confused. "Wait, why? Green tea’s way better!"

Jian Sha sighed. "Ah, you just don’t get it. Nowadays, green tea’s just fake sweetness."

Zhao Zhangfeng: "Additives? So it’s gone from tea to straight-up *fake*?"

Jiang Ruotang was amazed by these two. Usually, when Jian Sha collected English homework, she and Zhao Zhangfeng could go back and forth like a sitcom. Who knew they could also double-team with shady remarks?

Even if Lin Lu was boiling mad, he could only maintain a calm facade, playing dumb.

Bai Yingchuan leaned forward slightly, trying to strike up a conversation with Jiang Ruotang.

"I forgot to mention—I really liked the drawing you gave me last time. Any chance I could get another one, maybe something less… polished?"

Jiang Ruotang replied cool as ever. "Sure, I’ll pick one my art teacher thinks is the best and give it to you. Who knows? Maybe one day I’ll be famous, and that drawing in your hands will be worth millions!"

Bai Yingchuan’s expression didn’t change, but his smirk grew a little.

"I meant the kind you gave me for my birthday last time."

"Huh?" Jiang Ruotang was stunned.

In his past life, he had drawn Bai Yingchuan countless times, carefully selecting sketches from his sketchbook to gift him—only to receive not a single word of praise. Instead, he’d been dragged into a bathroom stall and harshly warned.

But now, Bai Yingchuan was actually *asking* Jiang Ruotang to draw him again… Truly, you don’t value what’s handed to you—only what you ask for.

"Drawing people is about feeling. If you don't have it, the result is just like turning in homework."

Jiang Ruotang smiled and walked back to his seat.

Bai Yingchuan got the subtext: I have no feelings for you at all.

Bai Yingchuan lowered his eyes. He wanted to laugh it off like he did with negative comments online, but he found he couldn't. A crushing wave of disappointment washed over him.

He knew very well that if Jian Sha or Zhao Zhangfeng had casually mentioned it, Jiang Ruotang might have pulled out his sketchbook and drawn for them right away.

Lin Lu remained silent the whole time, as if he had been completely ignored by Jiang Ruotang and Bai Yingchuan, like he didn't even exist.

Just as Lin Lu was thinking about how to "break the ice" with Jiang Ruotang, Jiang Ruotang spoke first: "Lin Lu, I just remembered—every time we hang out in the hallway after class or sit by the window, you always bring up me cheering for Bai Yingchuan. And like three or four times out of ten, Wang Fuzi or some other teacher would overhear, right?"

"Huh? I... I didn’t, it wasn’t on purpose!" Lin Lu’s face paled.

His heart raced wildly. Lin Lu couldn’t understand how Jiang Ruotang had suddenly thought of this. Who told him? Zhao Zhangfeng or Jian Sha?

"I didn’t say it was on purpose. But constantly bringing it up makes me look like some brainless fan, and that doesn’t leave a good impression on the teachers. With stuff like this, especially with someone as stubbornly old-school as Wang Fuzi, it’s easy for them to dislike me. You know I’ve left that scene now, so from now on, whether in public or private, let’s not mention it anymore, okay?" Jiang Ruotang propped his chin on his hand and glanced sideways at Lin Lu.

"O-of course!" Lin Lu nodded hard.

"Good." Jiang Ruotang nodded. This was laying down the law for Lin Lu, making him think twice before casually bringing up anything about Jiang Ruotang in the future.

Though he couldn't care less about others’ opinions of him, too many misunderstandings would inevitably lead to trouble.

That evening, the principal personally led their senior-year teaching conference.

Teacher Song Qinghe brought up some points, including the possibility that Cai Ji might have been bullied into helping Meng Yang cheat.

Wang Fuzi wouldn't hear excuses—cheating was cheating.

The other young teachers spoke up, especially the English teacher and biology teacher, who insisted on further investigation to uncover the truth. Otherwise, if it led to tragedy, the school would be on the hook.

After listening to all sides, the principal made a decision: regarding the cheating incident involving Cai Ji and Meng Yang, Teacher Song Qinghe would lead the investigation to determine the true motives and reasons. This was a slap in the face to Wang Fuzi's authority as homeroom teacher and grade leader, which clearly thrilled the young teachers present.

Jiang Ruotang was in art class when Zhao Zhangfeng unexpectedly messaged him, saying Wang Fuzi had been stripped of power, and everyone from teachers to students in their grade was thrilled.

Reading this, Jiang Ruotang couldn’t help but rub his eyes. As he sketched, he suddenly realized the cheating incident involving Cai Ji and Meng Yang had happened in his previous life too. Back then, his grades were so poor he wasn’t even on Wang Fuzi’s radar. But Teacher Song Qinghe had advocated for talking more with Cai Ji, believing he had no reason to collaborate with Meng Yang. This stance had set him against Wang Fuzi, leading to such tension that Song Qinghe was eventually transferred.

But in this life, Jiang Ruotang’s rapid academic improvement landed him on Wang Fuzi’s suspect list, creating a butterfly effect that made the principal see Wang Fuzi’s tyranny. Otherwise, Teacher Song, who stood up for Cai Ji, might have been shipped off again.

Thinking this, Jiang Ruotang suddenly felt that studying hard actually paid off!

Teacher Liang passed behind Jiang Ruotang, glanced at his drawing board, and said with a chuckle, "You’re in a good mood today."

"Huh? You can tell, Teacher Liang?"

"Of course. By the way, the painting you submitted for the exhibition has made it to the finals. It’s being sent to the Capital Art Center for display."

"Really?" Jiang Ruotang’s heart felt like it had been squeezed.

"If you don’t believe me, then pretend I never said it." Teacher Liang smiled and walked away.

Only after leaving the art studio did Jiang Ruotang learn that only three works from Sheng City had made it to the finals—his was the only one by an artist under twenty.

The moment he heard this, Jiang Ruotang’s first thought was to tell Lu Guifan. He had an overwhelming urge to hear his praise.

So when Xiao Gao came to pick him up after class, Jiang Ruotang immediately said he wanted to go to Lu Guifan’s place. Xiao Gao assumed he was craving a midnight snack made by Lu’s mom.

As the car drove on, Jiang Ruotang leaned against the window, humming to himself in the evening breeze.

Whether it was an illusion or not, a figure that looked familiar passed by his window. A few seconds later, Jiang Ruotang suddenly realized something and shouted, "Xiao Gao, stop the car!"

Xiao Gao pulled over. After a moment, they saw a thin boy in Beicheng Guangyao’s uniform, his collar crumpled and askew, his backpack hanging limply from his arm. His head was bowed, wavy bangs covering his eyes, and his mouth was bruised.

Jiang Ruotang sat in the car, watching the boy pass by again.

Even Xiao Gao in the front seat was stunned. "Ruotang... is this your classmate? How did he get beaten up like this?"

The boy was Cai Ji.

His lowered head seemed to shut out the world, the cold streetlights casting a lonely glow over his beat-up appearance.

Jiang Ruotang knew Cai Ji had his own pride and would hate for classmates to see him this way.

But deep in his mind, a voice told him... he couldn’t turn away from Cai Ji.

If he let him walk away like this, Jiang Ruotang would regret it.

"Xiao Gao, I’m going to check on him. Pull over somewhere close!"

Opening the car door, Jiang Ruotang quickly caught up, but Cai Ji seemed completely unaware of someone following him.

By the time they reached the intersection, Cai Ji stepped onto the road without even checking the traffic light. A taxi turned the corner, its bright headlights blinding Cai Ji, who instinctively raised his arm to shield his eyes—only then realizing he was standing in the middle of the road.

"Cai Ji—"

Jiang Ruotang’s heart leaped into his throat. He grabbed Cai Ji’s backpack strap and yanked him back.

The strap snapped, and Jiang Ruotang fell backward onto the sidewalk.

Luckily, the taxi driver reacted quickly, slamming the brakes just in front of Cai Ji. The driver leaned out the window and let loose a string of curses.

"You’re so young and can’t even see traffic lights? If you’re running a scam, at least pick a luxury car!"

Cai Ji stood frozen. Jiang Ruotang scrambled up and pulled him back, apologizing to the driver, "Sorry, sir! Really sorry! My classmate just failed an exam and isn’t himself right now. It wasn’t on purpose, please cut him some slack!"

Seeing Jiang Ruotang’s apologetic tone, the driver stopped cursing and drove off.

Cai Ji finally came to his senses, flinching as Jiang Ruotang’s grip tightened around him.

"It’s you... Jiang Ruotang... thanks."

Cai Ji bent down to pick up his backpack. As he did, Jiang Ruotang suddenly grabbed his wrist and said coldly, "If you’re thanking me, shouldn’t you look me in the eye?"

Cai Ji stiffened. Holding his backpack, he met Jiang Ruotang’s gaze and repeated, "Thank you."

The next second, Jiang Ruotang rolled up Cai Ji’s sleeve, revealing fresh cigarette burns that made Jiang Ruotang's stomach turn.

Cai Ji jerked back, hastily pulling his sleeve down.

"You weren’t trying to kill yourself just now, were you?" Jiang Ruotang asked.

"Huh?" Cai Ji blinked, shaking his head wildly. "No, no! I was just spaced out!"

Hearing this, Jiang Ruotang finally let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Hungry? Wanna grab some oden?" Jiang Ruotang nodded at the convenience store across the street.

Just as Cai Ji was about to say "Don't bother," Jiang Ruotang had already walked past him.

Cai Ji sighed, watching Jiang Ruotang's back. He shoved his hands in his pockets, hiding the scars, and walked slowly. He rubbed his arm, remembering the strength and warmth of Jiang Ruotang's embrace. Perhaps because Jiang was the only classmate who had ever shown concern for him—and the only person he truly admired—Cai Ji didn’t know how to refuse his invitation.

Inside the convenience store, Jiang Ruotang casually ordered two servings of oden—one loaded with spicy sauce, the other mild, placed in front of Cai Ji.

"Your lips are bruised, and the inside of your mouth must be cut too. Didn’t want to add spice for you," Jiang Ruotang said.

"Oh, thanks." Cai Ji held the paper bowl in his hands. His heart had long since grown numb; no matter how warm the food was, he still didn’t know what to do about the future.

Jiang Ruotang ate a skewer of lobster balls and remarked casually, "I haven’t thanked you yet for speaking up for me in front of Wang Fuzi this afternoon."

Cai Ji smiled faintly. "You didn’t cheat… Every time I see you working through practice problems, I feel a little moved."

"Huh? Moved by what? You’re the one consistently ranking in the top 50 with just science and math—that’s pretty damn impressive!"

"Maybe… it’s because you’re trying to change, and getting better at it. I envy that."

A *click*—the sound of a phone camera shutter.

Cai Ji turned his head and realized Jiang Ruotang had just taken a photo of him.

"Cai Ji, wanna see what you look like right now? You look totally dead inside, like you’re ready to give up on the world and become a monk?"

At Jiang Ruotang’s description, Cai Ji finally managed a small smile.

Then, Jiang Ruotang’s expression suddenly grew serious. "Did you hear? Teacher Song started looking into it specially for you. He doesn’t believe you’d willingly cheat—he thinks you’re pressured into it. At first, I thought it was good news, but seeing you like this… I’m worried you won’t say anything."

Cai Ji’s chin trembled, his eyes filled with tears instantly. "Teacher Song is a good person… but he can’t control me, and he can’t help me either…"

Jiang Ruotang let out a long breath. "Cai Ji, if you stay silent, Teacher Song’s efforts will be wasted. Wang Fuzi will use it against him, make him look bad, and get him kicked out of school. If you don’t want that, you have to tell him the truth. Whether he can help you—or how much—that’s for him to decide. You don’t want to hurt Teacher Song, do you?"

Cai Ji shook his head. "I don’t… Teacher Song has always been kind. I don’t want to make things hard for him…"

"Then let’s try to figure this out. You’re trapped and alone, feeling helpless. Why not tell me first? It won’t cause me trouble—if anything, I might have ideas." Jiang Ruotang spoke slowly.

Cai Ji stared at the oden, his thoughts tangled, unsure where to begin.

Jiang Ruotang put together what he’d heard in the microwave room, what the class monitor said about Cai Ji’s family—and began to guess.

"How about this? I’ll ask, and you answer?"

Cai Ji stayed silent. He was used to being alone, facing everything himself. He thought he didn’t want anyone’s interference, but with Jiang Ruotang beside him—someone who actually wanted to listen—he suddenly didn’t feel like being alone anymore.

And even though he wasn’t speaking, Jiang Ruotang didn’t leave. He just quietly kept eating his skewers.

Time passed. Jiang Ruotang had already eaten three servings of scallops. Once he finished… he’d really leave, wouldn’t he?

Just then, Jiang Ruotang suddenly pushed his chair back and stood, heading toward the store entrance.

As he passed Cai Ji, a sudden urge made Cai Ji grab his wrist.

Don’t go—stay.

Just a little longer—please, just a little longer…

I don’t want to be alone.

"Hmm?" Jiang Ruotang glanced down. Though Cai Ji’s head remained lowered, Jiang seemed to understand. "I was getting a black pepper beef rice ball. Want one?"

Cai Ji released his grip. "Nah… I’m good…"

Jiang Ruotang returned not just with rice balls but also milk. His healthy appetite made Cai Ji envious.

As Jiang bit into the rice ball, the smell of black pepper beef spread through the air, and Cai Ji’s empty stomach rumbled loudly.

He picked up a skewer and took a bite. The cuts in his mouth stung, but the warmth of the food made him realize how hungry he was.

Soon, he finished his oden. Then, a cup of hot milk tea appeared at his right hand—Jiang Ruotang, once again, naturally keeping him there longer.

"Ask… whatever you want…"

This was Cai Ji’s first attempt at talking about it. In his experience, no one really understood someone else’s pain.

What good would talking do?

"Who gave you those cigarette burns on your wrist?"

Cai Ji hadn’t expected that to be Jiang Ruotang’s first question.

"My… my brother."

"Your stepbrother?"

"Yeah." Cai Ji nodded.

Jiang Ruotang scratched the back of his head. "Guess I got lucky… Zhao Zhangfeng doesn’t smoke."

Cai Ji forced a small laugh.

"Where did he do it?"

"In an internet café."

Jiang Ruotang was stunned. "Not in some alley, not some dark corner—right there in public?"

"At first, he’d pick those kinds of places. Later, he couldn’t be bothered and just called me over to do it there."

Jiang Ruotang understood—this was bullying that’s become routine, he didn’t even try to hide it.

"Good. There are cameras."

The words hit Cai Ji hard, letting him realize what Jiang Ruotang was really urging him to do.

"Your stepbrother does this to you, and your dad does nothing?" Jiang Ruotang pressed.

Cai Ji pointed to his bruised lip. "My dad thinks I’m useless—can’t even cheat properly. He hit me. My brother took Meng Yang’s money, but now he has to return it. When my brother’s broke, he asks my dad, who then takes his anger out on me. It’s a cycle."

Jiang Ruotang was speechless at the logic. "Your dad doesn’t earn money? If your stepbrother needs cash, why doesn’t he ask *him*?"

"My dad… doesn’t have much either. He usually takes money from me."

"Hah? That’s messed up. Explain—where do *you* get money? Don’t tell me you actually sell test answers."

"My mom pays child support. After she remarried, my grandparents felt bad for me and gave me extra. Then my dad and brother take it all…"

Having gotten this far, Cai Ji realized some things weren’t as hard to say as he’d thought. The absurdity of his family’s financial loop was almost comical—a perfect closed circuit!

Back when Cai Ji was in elementary school, his dad had been laid off. He spent his days drowning in alcohol, half-heartedly job-hunting, leeching off his wife while bossing her around—too lazy to even take out the trash when it piled up.