Chapter 36

Chapter 36

Fang Bingxue visibly cringed at the nickname, rubbing his face for a good while. Meanwhile, the person who had fled in embarrassment finally returned, seemingly having composed himself, and wordlessly got into the driver’s seat.

He turned the steering wheel and started driving.

His expression was wooden, his silence heavy, and the way he drove was positively lethal.

It wasn’t that he was speeding or driving recklessly—it was the sheer intensity radiating off him, as if he were about to grab a knife and exact revenge.

Fang Bingxue sat in the backseat, arms crossed, utterly silent.

It wasn’t that he was particularly cunning—Fang Bingxue had always been good at feigning ignorance. Situations like this weren’t difficult or awkward for him; he could deflect them effortlessly, his heart as hard as stone, impervious to sentiment.

But that was in the past.

Today’s silence was purely due to awkwardness and discomfort. The atmosphere was so heavy it felt like chewing glass. So Fang Bingxue kept one hand propping up his chin, as if nursing a toothache, and turned his face toward the window, his expression decidedly grim.

In the rearview mirror, a blue-smoke-spewing tractor chugged past. On the roadside, an old man pulled a cart selling melons, while children pedaled bicycles. The trees gradually thinned, and pedestrians grew more numerous. A plastic bag, caught by the wind, soared high into the air, tumbling several times before finally snagging on the corner of a guard shack, still flapping stubbornly.

Fang Bingxue stared at the inflated plastic bag and thought, *It looks like a transparent jellyfish.*

He was quite familiar with them—he’d gotten stung by one at the beach before.

That jellyfish had a beautiful name: moon jellyfish. At the time, Fang Bingxue’s arm had burned with pain, and a local who’d been with him rinsed it with seawater, saying it wasn’t very toxic. Fang Bingxue had laughed and said, *Maybe it just bullied me because I’m an outsider.*

Zhou Xu made no mention of his earlier confession, as if nothing had happened. The two of them ate lunch at a generic burger place. Since it was Children’s Day, their meal came with a toy—a keychain with a Pikachu dangling from it.

The place was packed with kids just out of school, the din overwhelming. Zhou Xu asked Fang Bingxue, “Wanna eat in the car or head home?”

Fang Bingxue said, “Sure, let’s go to the car.”

They parked in the shade and ate in the front seats. The food wasn’t quite what they’d expected—the chicken was overcooked, the salad dressing too heavy. Fang Bingxue took a sip of his Coke, the half-melted ice cubes clinking softly in the amber liquid.

Zhou Xu asked, “How’s the taste?”

“Not bad,” Fang Bingxue said, finishing the burger in a few bites. “Well… not as good as I thought.”

Zhou Xu gathered the trash, went out to toss it, then returned. “Wanna get something else?”

Fang Bingxue shook his head. “No, I’m full.”

He licked his lips and stared at his knees. “Bro Xu.”

“Yeah?” Zhou Xu responded. “What’s up?”

“Take me back,” Fang Bingxue said. “I’ll rest in the afternoon. Got some things to take care of.”

Zhou Xu nodded. “Sure.”

He started the car, and as he shifted gears, his elbow accidentally bumped Fang Bingxue. Fang Bingxue didn’t flinch, as if he hadn’t noticed, just kept his head lowered. There wasn’t anything particularly interesting to look at—he just sat there quietly, knees together, hands resting on them.

“Sorry,” Zhou Xu said. “What I said earlier was kind of... forget I said it.”

Fang Bingxue replied, “Oh, it’s fine. I didn’t.”

Zhou Xu held back for a while, but at a red light, he couldn’t resist asking, “You… really didn’t take it to heart at all?”

Fang Bingxue turned to look at him. “What, if I said no, would you stop chasing me?”

The red light was interminably long, with no countdown timer, making the wait feel both fleeting and eternal. Zhou Xu met his gaze and said softly, “No.”

Fang Bingxue asked, “You’ve made up your mind?”

Zhou Xu said, “Yeah.”

The light turned green, and the car started moving again, only to pull over shortly after. Zhou Xu unbuckled his seatbelt. “Wait here a sec. I’ll be right back.”

Then Fang Bingxue watched as his retreating figure disappeared into a bakery.

A moment later, Zhou Xu returned with a small cake, packaged in a pink box tied with a gilded ribbon.

“It’s Children’s Day,” Zhou Xu said, handing it over. “Think of it as a snack.”

Fang Bingxue wasn’t in the habit of eating cake. On his birthdays, at most, he’d have a bowl of longevity noodles for good luck. But now, holding the cake, he suddenly felt as if his heart had been stung by a jellyfish—a sharp, fleeting pang.

“Bro Xu,” he said quietly, head still lowered, “what if… I don’t say yes?”

Zhou Xu shrugged, nonchalant. “Oh, that’s fine. I just started chasing you. Don’t feel pressured.”

Fang Bingxue worried the edge of the ribbon. “Since when… do you like men?”

He’d learned about homosexuality fairly early. Back in school, he’d watched a movie where two men were intimately embracing, and Fang Bingxue had been shocked. His deskmate, however, was unfazed, saying, *There are guys like that in our grade.*

Fang Bingxue had asked, *Who?*

The deskmate had mentioned an utterly ordinary name, adding, *They’re pretty open about it, but they keep it low-key.*

Fang Bingxue had tried hard to recall, but the person in question was completely unremarkable—ordinary looks, plain clothes, average grades, just another face you’d pass in the hallway.

Years later, a film called *Happy Together* came out. Fang Bingxue knew what it was about but didn’t watch it.

By then, he no longer found homosexuality particularly noteworthy.

It was normal—like walking into a store and choosing a pair of amber sunglasses.

But now, he felt a strange, tingling unease, along with confusion.

“I don’t like men,” Zhou Xu said, white-knuckling the wheel. He was probably nervous—he held himself rigidly. “What’s so great about men anyway…”

Fang Bingxue deadpanned, “Oh.”

The unspoken half of that sentence was obvious.

*It’s not that I like men—it’s that I like you.*

A weighted silence fell.

Zhou Xu rested his forehead against the steering wheel, turning to look at him. “Don’t be nervous.”

Fang Bingxue thought, *Yeah right, you’re the one who’s nervous. I’m not the one who ran off earlier—I just don’t know what to do. I’m a little shell-shocked.*

He wasn’t one to dwell on things or let himself be at a disadvantage, so he cleared his throat. “Well, steel yourself. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Zhou Xu’s features were sharp, not soft, but now, with his head pillowed on his arm, his eyes softened at the corners. “I know. You’re a tough catch.”

Fang Bingxue glared at him. “Then what’s the point?”

“Yeah,” Zhou Xu said without hesitation. “I’m chasing you anyway.”

Fang Bingxue teased him, "You? Who was the one squealing like a boiling kettle and running away just now?"

That made them both burst out laughing.

The mood got much lighter. Zhou Xu buried his face in the crook of his arm, laughing. "Ah, you... I got shy back there."

"Not embarrassed now?" Fang Bingxue said deliberately. "You're acting pretty cocky now."

Zhou Xu replied, "Well, I like you."

Fang Bingxue asked, "Just because you like me means you can catch me?"

Zhou Xu looked up at him. "Yes."

"No shame," Fang Bingxue said playfully. "With that kind of confidence, how come you're still single? Shouldn’t you have a whole soccer team of kids by now?"

"Didn’t meet you," Zhou Xu said. "Never got the chance."

Only then did Fang Bingxue realize he’d walked right into that one. He laughed and cursed, "Hell no, I can’t pop out kids!"

No matter how he responded—whether saying "It’s fine, I don’t mind" or "Let’s try, who knows?"—it'd sound flirty. Zhou Xu didn’t take the bait, just kept laughing to himself, his shoulders shaking.

He sat in the driver’s seat, hunched over the steering wheel, his abs clearly visible, tapering in. Zhou Xu had a big build, wide shoulders that looked good in clothes—real handsome.

Indeed, he’d dressed up a bit today, wearing a black shirt that was sharp and fitted, his arms and chest well-defined, oozing manliness.

Even in this posture, his waist and hips showed not an ounce of fat, the curve of his back smooth until it met his waistband, forming a small, triangular dip in the middle. For some reason, a downright dirty thought flashed through Fang Bingxue’s mind—

Zhou Xu’s fertility… must be off the charts.

Fang Bingxue’s pupils contracted, and he started shaking his head like crazy.

"What’s wrong?" Zhou Xu was still laughing. "What's with the head shake?"

"Shaking the water out," Fang Bingxue said with a pained expression. "I'm feeling filthy."

Zhou Xu pulled out a tissue. "Want me to wipe it for you?"

"No," Fang Bingxue said. "Give me a minute to recover, Bro Xu. Today’s been intense."

Now he was being sincere. "I’ll be honest with you too. Right now… I'm really not thinking about this stuff. After all, I won’t be staying in the Northwest. I’m leaving next spring."

Since Zhou Xu was being so earnest, Fang Bingxue couldn’t brush him off.

Holding the cake box, he spoke slowly, and Zhou Xu listened attentively, his eyes bright.

"I have a mission here, that’s why I came," Fang Bingxue said carefully. "And besides, being with a man… isn’t great."

Coastal and developed cities were more open-minded, with fewer prejudices, but deep in the inland Northwest, Fang Bingxue didn’t want to get too heavy. "It never ends well."

Zhou Xu looked at him calmly.

"Bro Xu," Fang Bingxue said, lowering his lashes, "have you ever actually known someone gay?"

Zhou Xu replied, "Yes."

"My middle school physics teacher. He had a good temper, never yelled at students. If anyone ran out of money or tore their clothes, they’d go to him. He treated his students like his own kids."

He remembered that gentle middle-aged man, always neatly dressed, wearing thin-framed glasses, smiling softly.

"Later, a man in the county died in an accident," Zhou Xu continued. "The teacher went to the funeral… wearing mourning white."

Playing the widow, by local standards.

The deceased’s family was first shocked, then began screaming curses and throwing punches. The crowd grew, pointing at the ghost-pale man, but even as he was beaten and berated, he stubbornly got back up, insisting on supporting the coffin.

Zhou Xu still remembered the sight of blood soaking into the rough mourning cloth.

The family, ashamed, threw him out repeatedly, but the teacher knelt outside the door, barely fighting back.

Zhou Xu said, "He was crying."

It had been a love hidden from the light, over twenty years, like sewer rats. The only chance to openly mourn his lover was those few days.

"People in the county called him a f-g, a freak," Zhou Xu said, rubbing the edge of the steering wheel. "Some even complained to the education bureau, saying a teacher like him shouldn’t be in school, what if he infected the students?"

Fang Bingxue asked, "What happened then?"

"After that, he stopped teaching us," Zhou Xu said, his gaze heavy. "I don’t know where he went. The elders said he passed away not long after."

Fang Bingxue let out a soft "Ah."

Zhou Xu said, "Later, when I was traveling around, I met people like that—old, young, handsome, plain. I never saw anything wrong with it."

"But others do," Fang Bingxue said softly. "They think it's sick."

Zhou Xu reached out and patted Fang Bingxue’s forearm lightly through his sleeve—just twice, then withdrew. "I've got your back. It's cool."

Those shocking, unconventional loves, decades of life, boiled down to just a few words. Fang Bingxue realized Zhou Xu was comforting him. He lowered his head and smiled, calling, "Bro Xu."

Zhou Xu replied, "Yeah?"

"How are you planning to chase me?" Fang Bingxue asked, grinning. "Tell me."

"No," Zhou Xu hesitated. "If I say it, won’t it lose the surprise? What if you start guarding against me?"

Fang Bingxue huffed. "You’re such a sneaky bastard… Fine, since it’s a holiday today, I’ll give you a pass."

With that, he reached to untie the ribbon. "Let’s share the cake."

Zhou Xu looked clueless. "No need, I’m not hungry. Take it home with you."

Fang Bingxue had already opened the box, revealing the cream cake inside—about four inches, not too big, perfect for sharing. "Come on, let’s have it together."

"Too much for you?" Zhou Xu took the lid. "Or don’t like the flavor? Want a different one?"

Fang Bingxue shook his head. "No."

Picking up a plastic spoon, he gave a shy little smile, his voice soft. "Bro Xu… it's my birthday today."