Chapter 80: Clothes

Chapter 80: Clothes

A Yu tugged at Xiao Jin, trying to snap Jiang Xun awake: "Get it together, boss! This isn’t your room, dumbass—it’s Liu Hai’s!"

"Oh, right," Jiang Xun rubbed his slightly disheveled hair. "No wonder I was cold sleeping here."

"Anyway, I’m gonna shower first. You guys—"

"Wait!" A Yu reached out to stop him. "Boss, turn around and look! Doesn’t anything seem off to you?"

"What’s strange…" Jiang Xun chuckled. "You guys are always loud like this. Let me see what’s going on today—"

Liu Hai, wrapped in a blanket, emerged dripping wet from the water.

"Why’d you bring the blanket in the water?" Jiang Xun smiled, extending a hand toward him. "Get out—that soaked blanket’s gotta be heavy."

"I—I—" Liu Hai stammered, his face flushing as he tightened the waterlogged blanket around himself. "Y-you should go shower first! I’m not… decent right now!"

Jiang Xun frowned. "Not presentable?"

Xiao Jin, finally confirming that Liu Hai could still move freely in the water, managed to regain some semblance of composure. Dead serious, she said to Jiang Xun, "Boss, I swear I just saw Liu Hai’s ass."

Jiang Xun: "…Bullshit. He doesn’t even have a butt."

Xiao Jin shook her head violently. "No, no, I mean—"

Jiang Xun gestured vaguely. "All he’s got is a tail."

"Even the roundest part is just the middle of his tail—"

"No!" Xiao Jin tried to make him see the truth. "It’s a real butt!"

She motioned wildly. "So round! So perky!"

A Yu couldn’t help but cover his eyes. "Hey!"

Jiang Xun looked at Liu Hai in confusion.

Liu Hai quickly agreed, "D-don’t be ridiculous! How could I have a butt? It’s just my tail, okay!"

Xiao Jin pointed at him. "Then come up here and let’s see."

"C-can’t right now!" Liu Hai insisted.

"Hmm—" Xiao Jin narrowed her eyes at him, then clapped her hands. "Oh, I know! I’ll grab him something to wear. You two help him out first."

"Even though I’ve known Liu Hai since he was little, kids grow up so fast…"

She pretended to wipe away tears of pride and dashed toward the door.

Jiang Xun asked A Yu uncertainly, "Today… isn’t some kind of April Fools’ Day, right?"

"No," A Yu said seriously. "This is legit happening."

"Though Xiao Jin kept screaming about a ‘naked dude’ and ‘butt.’ Honestly, I didn’t see anything."

"So…"

He looked at Liu Hai.

Liu Hai waffled. "Huh? You want a look?"

"Uh, no." A Yu awkwardly scratched his nose. "I mean, maybe you should get out of the water first."

"Let’s figure out what’s going on with your body."

Though they’d seen his full seal form before, they could guess he might also have a fully human form. But seeing it for the first time hit different.

Liu Hai hesitated, then glanced furtively at Jiang Xun.

Jiang Xun crouched by the pool and reached out to him. "What’s wrong? Come up."

Liu Hai took his hand and slowly pulled himself to the edge, bracing his arms against the ground before trying to leap up—

He just splashed uselessly, failing to get out.

Jiang Xun froze. "What’s wrong?"

Liu Hai’s eyes got watery. "What do I do, Jiang Xun? Did I not eat enough yesterday? My tail—my tail’s not working!"

"It’s because it turned into legs!" Xiao Jin called from the doorway. "I found some clothes—they’re by the door! They might not fit well, Liu Hai, but they’ll have to do for now. We’ll get you better clothes later."

With that, she banged the door shut again.

Jiang Xun turned back slowly. "Should we pull you up?"

Liu Hai gave a miserable little nod.

A Yu wasn’t confident. "Can we? Liu Hai’s weight…"

Jiang Xun sighed. "Stop worrying about that now! Just try!"

A Yu planted his feet, preparing for a struggle, then gripped Liu Hai’s hand and pulled with all his might—

Liu Hai went flying out, blanket and all, onto the floor.

"Whoa!" Liu Hai gasped. "Damn, you guys are strong!"

"Huh?" A Yu stared at his own hands in disbelief. "No way I just pulled 400 pounds… Your weight must’ve changed."

His eyes went to Liu Hai under the blanket.

No sign of that chunky, fluffy tail.

In its place were human legs.

A Yu looked at Jiang Xun for confirmation. "Boss."

"I’m not hallucinating, right?"

Jiang Xun massaged his forehead. "…Doubt it."

Liu Hai poked at his new legs curiously, from his feet up to his ankles, then started to lift the blanket for a look.

"Hey—"

Instinctively, A Yu and Jiang Xun both shouted to stop him at the same time.

Liu Hai looked up, confused. "What?"

"Uh, well." A Yu said with a serious expression, "That move is... inappropriate."

"At least don’t do it in front of others."

"Oh..." Liu Hai didn’t really get it but figured he should follow human manners.

A Yu quickly turned away: "Boss, I’ll grab the clothes. Teaching him how to dress? That’s your job."

Jiang Xun just stared.

He and Liu Hai locked eyes. Liu Hai blinked innocently and asked, "Jiang Xun, how do legs work?"

"I can’t seem to use them properly."

He squeezed his legs together and tried to spring up like he used to with his tail.

Jiang Xun: "..."

Without a word, he sat and motioned for Liu Hai to look. Then, bracing his hands on the ground, he demonstrated the motion of standing up by shifting his leg strength.

"Oh—" Liu Hai gasped in amazement, like he’d just seen magic. "I never really paid attention to human movements before. Now that I see it, every action you take is so complex!"

"Boss." A Yu handed over the clothes and stood by the aquarium door. "Just now, Xiao Jin shouted something about a 'naked guy' outside, and someone overheard. People are asking. I’ll go smooth things over. Liu Hai’s... your problem now!"

"Mm." Jiang Xun nodded. "His situation is too unusual. Keep it quiet for now... but you can inform Jian Yu."

A Yu nodded and swiftly left the room, leaving only Jiang Xun and Liu Hai, who was still struggling to adapt to his newly acquired legs.

Liu Hai was weirdly fascinated by his new legs, but his attempts to stand were far from human-like—Jiang Xun had only seen limbs that twisted on badly posed Barbie dolls.

"Mmm... hey!" Liu Hai’s legs trembled as he strained to move, only for all four limbs to flail backward. Still tangled in the towel, he went sliding with a "whoosh" and collided with Jiang Xun’s leg with a "thud."

Liu Hai gaped up at him: "Jiang Xun! You didn’t even budge!"

"You’re like a rock!"

"No, it’s just that you’ve become lighter in human form." Jiang Xun knelt, half laughing, half exasperated, and extended a hand. "Let me help you up. Ah, if you start tipping, aim for the mat—not the pool."

"Okay." Liu Hai obediently agreed.

As it turned out, Jiang Xun’s warning was necessary. Soon enough, Liu Hai slipped, dragging Jiang Xun down with him into the soft padding.

"Ah—!" Liu Hai kicked wildly, frustrated, squirming on the mat. "Why are legs so useless?! Hands make sense!"

Jiang Xun bit back a laugh, but when Liu Hai glanced over, he finally burst into laughter.

Liu Hai flopped onto his back and shot him a look. "Jiang Xun—"

"You’re laughing at me, aren’t you?"

"Ahem." Jiang Xun finally got himself under control. "Sorry, I just... hahaha!"

*Cough.* "Biologically speaking, hands and forelimbs serve similar functions, but tails and legs are vastly different. So no wonder you’re having trouble. Take your time."

"If standing’s too hard, just use the wheelchair again for now, like before."

Jiang Xun picked up the clothes Xiao Jin had prepared. "Alright, let me teach you how to dress."

Liu Hai mumbled an obedient "Mm-hmm," lifting arms and legs on command...

Accidentally gave him a kick.

Liu Hai hugged his own leg pitifully and looked at him: "Still can't control it properly."

"Mm." Jiang Xun averted his gaze and quickly helped him pull up his pants. "There we go."

"I want to try again!" Liu Hai said with determination in his eyes. "I want to try standing up!"

Jiang Xun held his hand, and as expected, the two of them fell into the soft padding with a loud "thud."

There was a knock at the door, and Xiao Jin and A Yu entered with a wide-eyed Jian Yu.

"Oh my god." Jian Yu covered her mouth with her hand. "I thought I'd seen my share of unbelievable things before, but this is really..."

"He can't walk properly." Jiang Xun held Liu Hai's hand and helped him sit on the padding. "Uh, though you might not have experience with this either, but... can you help us out?"

"Ah." Jian Yu seemed capable of snapping into professional mode no matter how strange the situation. "Let me think. In cases like this, perhaps getting a physical therapist could help? I'll immediately contact a trustworthy specialist—they can come this afternoon."

"And then..."

"Jiang Xun." Liu Hai tugged at his hand.

Jiang Xun turned back and asked softly, "What is it?"

Liu Hai made a face: "Do I really have to wear pants? They feel weird."

Jiang Xun: "...Yes, you do."

"You can't be pantsless around people."

"What about tops?" Liu Hai tried to bargain. "I had a torso before too, and I didn't wear clothes then."

"That was different." Jiang Xun cleared his throat. "You'll have to get used to it eventually, so just wear them."

"Oh..." Liu Hai grudgingly agreed but made a final plea, "Then can I at least not wear underwear?"

Jiang Xun: "...Absolutely not."

Liu Hai pouted. "Hmph."

"Humans are so troublesome."

Author's Note:

Listen up, fish-boy, please refrain from streaking in human form—dress appropriately (taps blackboard).