Chapter 40: Plan

Chapter 40 Longing

Xin He had a long dream.

In the dream, she returned to Shili Village, but this time her parents were still alive, and her grandfather was also there.

Their family had built a new house with tightly laid blue tiles, so no matter how heavy the rain, the house never leaked.

She no longer had to squeeze into one room to sleep with her cousins from her second aunt’s family; she could have her own room. Even during the coldest days of winter, when water would freeze as soon as it dripped, she never had to suffer through sleepless nights from the cold again.

Her father had woven fine bamboo strips into a window frame for her, and her mother thoughtfully hung a cloth curtain over it.

The quilt she used was no longer the old, hard, and thin bedding. Her mother had made her a thick cotton quilt with newly harvested cotton that year, and sleeping under it made her hands and feet sweat from the warmth.

She no longer had to live under someone else’s scrutiny or fear being sold off, anxiously trying to please everyone.

In front of her parents, she could do as she pleased—do what she wanted, eat what she craved. Her mother even bought her many beautiful dresses.

In the past, she had always envied the other girls in the village, but this time, she was the one being envied.

The dream was so beautiful that Xin He was lost in the dream, unwilling to wake up.

But someone would not let her be.

Wei Mingjin lifted the bed curtain and looked at the person lying on the bed, her face sallow as parchment, breathing faintly.

Three days earlier, he had been in his study as usual, writing an essay from memory. It was his habitual practice—to recite an essay by heart before reading to focus his mind.

But that day, for some reason, he felt unusually restless from the moment he put brush to paper.

Halfway through, he even made a rare mistake in his writing.

Just as he closed his eyes to steady himself, Feng Mo burst in frantically, saying that Xin He had fallen in the garden.

By the time he rushed over, two strong servant women had just carried Xin He back. Her pale silk skirt was already stained with large, spreading stains of dark blood.

Soon, a doctor was summoned.

After examining Xin He’s pulse, the doctor came out with a grave expression and said to him, "I fear the concubine has lost the child."

The cold wind cut like a blade, merciless and sharp.

Standing in the corridor, arms clasped behind his back, he made his choice without hesitation: "If the fetus cannot be saved, then we must let it go. I want her to be safe."

The doctor acknowledged and immediately went back inside.

That day had started as a day of bright sunshine, but as noon approached, dark clouds rolled in.

The sun was trapped behind thick clouds, and the world turned gray in an instant. Maids moved in and out, but all unconsciously walked softly. The entire Cuiwei Courtyard was heavy with gloom.

Soon, it began to rain.

At first, it was a light drizzle, but it gradually turned into a torrential rain. Mist crept along the corridor.

No sound came from within the room, only basin after basin of bloody water being carried out.

On gloomy, rainy days like this in the past, Wei Mingjin had always felt that a dash of crimson was needed to provide a splash of color.

But today, as he watched those basins of blood being carried out, his face cold as jade showed no expression, yet his fingers inside his voluminous sleeves twitched spasmodically.

For the first time in his life, Wei Mingjin found the color red so harsh.

He didn’t know how long he had been standing in the corridor, only feeling that his robes had grown damp and heavy from the mist when the tightly shut door finally opened again.

This time, it was Doctor Wu who emerged.

Mopping his brow with a handkerchief, Doctor Wu reported to Wei Mingjin: "Young Master, I have had the medicine given to the Concubine. She is now in an unconscious state."

Wei Mingjin nodded and went in to see Xin He.

Even though incense was burning in the room and everything had been cleaned, as soon as he entered, Wei Mingjin detected the metallic tang of blood.

He walked around the screen and saw Xin He lying on the bed. She lay as if asleep, eyes closed, lips pale.

The doctor had said she would wake once the effects of the medicine subsided.

But now it was the third day. Not only had Xin He not shown any signs of waking, her breathing had grown even fainter.

Over these three days, Wei Mingjin had summoned several more physicians.

Without exception, they all said that based on her pulse, although Concubine Xin He was very weak from the recent miscarriage, there was no danger to her life. In theory, she shouldn’t remain unconscious.

Only one doctor ventured to say, "Perhaps the Concubine herself does not wish to wake up."

As soon as he finished speaking, he saw the previously gentle-faced man’s expression cloud over. The doctor quickly added, "It could also be that the Concubine is in the grip of a nightmare."

"In the grip of a nightmare?" Wei Mingjin turned to look at the doctor.

The doctor stammered, "Yes. I have encountered such situations before in my practice."

"How can it be resolved?"

"Some obtain talismans to dissolve in water and drink, others invite Taoist priests to perform rituals."

Wei Mingjin had never believed in such things.

But this time, after sitting by Xin He’s bedside for a long time, he turned and ordered, "Go invite a Taoist priest."

Though shocked, Feng Mo immediately complied.

After that, it was no longer doctors but Taoist priests coming in and out of Cuiwei Courtyard.

Several scenic spots in the courtyard were altered, and talismans were posted everywhere. The Taoist priest, holding a peachwood sword in one hand and shaking a Sanqing bell with the other, spent the entire day chanting and performing rituals in Cuiwei Courtyard.

But Xin He not only failed to wake up—her breathing grew even weaker.

In the end, Wei Mingjin personally went to Ciyun Temple, sought a talisman from the abbot, and brought it back for Xin He to wear. That night, Xin He finally woke up.

When she opened her eyes and saw the familiar pomegranate and vine motif on the canopy above, Xin He was briefly disoriented.

She had only been asleep—how had she ended up back here?

She didn’t want to stay here; she wanted to be with her parents.

Xin He immediately closed her eyes. She wanted to go back.

But Qiong Hua’s voice, bright with relief, already sounded by her ear: "Concubine, you’re finally awake. Someone, tell the Young Master that the Concubine has woken up."

Someone outside answered and hurried off.

Qiong Hua was still weeping with relief by the bedside, rambling, "My Lady, you scared me to death. Do you know you’ve been unconscious for seven days…"

"Shut up and leave," Xin He interrupted Qiong Hua.

Qiong Hua was stunned. Raising her eyes brimming with tears, she saw Xin He looking at her with impatience.

But then Qiong Hua quickly realized that Xin He was annoyed by her noise, so she immediately clamped her mouth shut, though her tears continued to stream down uncontrollably.

Thank goodness—it wasn’t just her imagination. The madam had truly awakened.

Soon, hurried, scrambling footsteps could be heard outside.

Qiong Hua wiped her tears and stood up just as the curtain swayed, and the tall figure of Wei Mingjin strode in from outside.

"Young Master, you’re here," Qiong Hua paid her respects, simultaneously reminding Xin He.

Now that her child was gone, she would have to rely on Wei Mingjin for survival in the future. Qiong Hua feared that Wei Mingjin might be displeased by Xin He’s disrespect.

But Xin He remained lying on her side facing inward, acting as though she hadn’t heard anything.

Qiong Hua started to worry and called out again softly, "My Lady."

But Xin He still didn’t respond.

Instead, Wei Mingjin spoke up, "Go to the kitchen and fetch some congee."

Their madam had ignored the Young Master, yet he still ordered her to fetch food for the madam. It was clear he wasn’t offended by their madam’s disrespect. Her worries eased, Qiong Hua paid her respects to Wei Mingjin once more before hurrying off.

After Qiong Hua left, Wei Mingjin walked to Xin He’s bedside.

Xin He remained lying on her side facing inward, the brocade quilt pulled up to her shoulders, revealing only her slender, pale neck and the ink-black hair spread across the pillow.

She had always been timid around him. Even when she was angry, she had never dared to treat him like this.

This was the first time.

Wei Mingjin stood by the bedside for a moment before speaking, "If you like children, we can have more in the future."

Wei Mingjin thought Xin He was behaving this way because she was mourning the loss of their child.

But he was unaware that Xin He hadn’t even realized the child was gone. All she wanted now was to fall asleep quickly so that when she woke up, she could return to the world where her parents were.

Xin He didn’t respond, leaving Wei Mingjin’s words hanging in the air.

Wei Mingjin had never been one to lower himself to coax a woman. Now that Xin He was ignoring him, he didn’t know what else to say, so he simply fell silent.

The room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

The two of them—one lying down, the other standing—cast their shadows on the wall under the lamplight.

Though they were physically close, their shadows on the wall seemed separated by endless mountains and rivers.

Soon, Qiong Hua returned with a bowl of ginseng broth.

Wei Mingjin glanced at Xin He, who was still turned away from him, and instructed Qiong Hua, "Take good care of her," before leaving.

After Wei Mingjin left, Qiong Hua approached to urge Xin He to drink the ginseng broth, but Xin He didn’t even turn her head. "Leave it and go out."

Too afraid to insist, Qiong Hua had no choice but to set down the ginseng broth and leave.

Xin He lay on the bed, trying to will herself to sleep.

Eventually, she did drift off, but when she woke, the same familiar gauze canopy hung above her.

Unwilling to accept this, she tried again and again, a few more times, but the result remained unchanged. Finally, she had to accept the truth.

Those beautiful moments were just a fleeting dream. Now that the dream had ended, she was back in this cage.

Xin He lay on the bed, her hand pressed against her lower belly.

Before, she could feel the stirrings of a new life there, but now there was nothing.

She was not fit to be a mother, and Wei Mingjin was no more fit to be a father.

For this child to leave like this was a blessing for him and a liberation for her.

If this child had been born, he would have been a permanent tie binding her to Wei Mingjin, only broken by death.

Neither of them was a good person, nor would they have been good parents. This child had done nothing wrong; he didn’t deserve parents like them.

So it was better this way.

Xin He closed her eyes, but a tear slipped from the corner of her eye.

Suddenly, a warm finger brushed her cheek, gently wiping away that tear.

Xin He opened her eyes and saw that Wei Mingjin had slipped in at some point. He was now sitting by the bed, watching her with an unreadable expression.

Through tear-blurred eyes, Xin He gazed at Wei Mingjin for a moment, then held her hand out to him.

Wei Mingjin took the hint, grasped her wrist, pulled her up, and pulled her into his arms.

His large hand rested on Xin He's back, gently stroking and soothing her, "We will have another child in the future."

He hadn't held much expectation for this child.

The reason he had allowed the child to remain in the first place was merely because he had felt the fetal movement and found it novel, along with harboring a certain desire for revenge.

Now that the child was gone, Wei Mingjin felt little emotional stir.

But seeing Xin He so distraught, he didn't mind saying a few comforting words to coax her.

Nestled in Wei Mingjin's arms, Xin He mumbled a quiet ‘mm-hmm’, but her eyes were icy and distant.

She would have children in the future, but the father of her children would definitely not be Wei Mingjin again.

You only need to be a fool once.

If she knowingly jumped back into the fire, that would be just plain stupid.

In the end, she would only become a second Fang Xu.

"Bang—"

The sound of a sudden, heavy thud echoed.

Startled, Xin He instinctively jerked away from Wei Mingjin's embrace.

Wei Mingjin followed the sound and saw someone kneeling behind the screen, shaking. He was about to call out when Xin He spoke first, "Who is it? Come out!"

The person trembled like a leaf as she shifted slightly sideways on her knees.

She hunched over, pressing her forehead to the ground, not daring to look at them, and kowtowed repeatedly while begging for mercy: "This maid saw nothing, this maid saw nothing."

It was Qiong Hua.

Qiong Hua was Xin He’s personal maid, and she had free access to Xin He’s bedroom.

When Wei Mingjin arrived, Qiong Hua had just stepped out to get medicine for Xin He. Upon returning, she walked right in as usual.

Worried that Xin He might be sleeping, Qiong Hua deliberately softened her steps. Little did she expect to witness such a shocking scene. In her extreme panic, she accidentally knocked over the medicine bowl.

Most people in Wei Mingjin’s courtyard were aware of the secret relationship between Xin He and Wei Mingjin, but since they were all Wei Mingjin’s trusted subordinates, he never worried about anyone leaking secrets.

But Qiong Hua was different.

He recalled that Qiong Hua had originally worked in the gardening shed. After Xin He came to the estate, she was assigned to attend to Xin He.

Though she was usually loyal to Xin He, Xin He had always kept their affair hidden from her.

Clearly, despite the maid’s loyalty, Xin He did not consider her trustworthy.

Wei Mingjin had no qualms. He said to Xin He, "I’ll pick a new maid for you later."

After speaking, Wei Mingjin was about to call Feng Mo to drag her off.

"What does the young master plan to do with Qiong Hua?" Xin He suddenly spoke up.

Wei Mingjin looked at Xin He.

In truth, Xin He knew very well that in Wei Mingjin’s eyes, Qiong Hua was nothing more than a lowly servant girl, her life worthless as grass. His so-called "disposal" would likely be the same as Wei Jingyao’s.

After all, Wei Mingjin had said that only the dead could keep secrets forever.

But she couldn’t just stand by and watch Qiong Hua die.

Xin He gazed at Wei Mingjin with reddened eyes, tears falling down her face. "Since I entered the residence, Qiong Hua has been by my side, serving me. My daily meals and clothes have all been taken care of by her. Now that I’ve just lost my child, must I lose Qiong Hua as well?"

She had just miscarried, and her body was still very weak. Crying so pitifully, like a rain-drenched pear blossom.

Wei Mingjin was known for his ruthlessness, but today, after a moment of silence, he bent the rules for Xin He: "I won’t kill her."

With that, he gave Xin He no further chance to speak and directly called Feng Mo to take Qiong Hua away.

Wei Mingjin reached out to Xin He, and she leaned back into his embrace once more.

As his large hand rested on her back, the warmth of her body transferred through her thin sleeping robe into his palm. Only then did Wei Mingjin feel certain that the person whose breath had grown weaker earlier had truly awakened and was now docilely nestled in his arms.

But Wei Mingjin did not know that although Xin He, leaning against his chest, still bore tear stains on her face, her heart was already planning how to leave him.

Before, she had been pregnant, and Wei Mingjin held the evidence of her crime—if she left the Wei family, she would not survive.

She could only use the child to act weak and pitiable in front of Wei Mingjin, hoping he would spare her life for the child’s sake.

Now that the child was gone, she would have to fight for a way out on her own.