Chapter 70 I Like You

Chapter 70 I Like You

He subconsciously took a photo every day as a record. Even after losing his memory, his subconscious still remembered that someone would want to see his phone.

Tan Youming opened the photo album.

Lazy seals, seashells in the water, the starry night sea…

Shen Zongnian hadn’t had it as hard as he had imagined. Tan Youming felt some relief, but he couldn’t help but hypothesize, "If you had never remembered me, would you have—"

"No," Shen Zongnian looked at him with a firm gaze, "Tan Youming."

"I would definitely remember you." No matter how many years passed.

Even when his head injury was at its worst, an unclear but familiar face had always firmly occupied his mind.

He couldn’t even recall his own name, but whenever he walked by the sea, a voice in his head would say, "I’m going out to the open sea to play tomorrow!"

Passing by the beach, a voice would ring in his ears: "How dare you step on the words I wrote!"

Eating alone, that indistinct figure would command him: "I won’t eat this, take it away right now."

Shen Zongnian couldn’t remember who it was at the time, but his body, his eyes, his ears, and his will absolutely refused to let him forget this person. This person had been etched into his soul since they were young and unaware. He was destined to remember, no matter how long it took.

Tan Youming’s eyes were about to well up again. Shen Zongnian frowned, unsure how to comfort him, and soothingly rubbed his back. "Do you know how I suddenly remembered the past?"

Tan Youming shook his head. District 11 Island was completely in the opposite direction of Chiwan, against the ocean currents, located deep within the fjord, entirely closed off for oil processing—it was practically isolated from the world.

Whether based on expert speculation or model data, Shen Zongnian could never have drifted to this area. Zhao Shengge and Tan Youming’s search had once covered this place, but it wasn’t a key focus, which was why they hadn’t found him.

But Shen Zongnian told him, "Ten days ago, our team went to the open sea for a joint project with Singa. I accidentally saw the Pinghai search and rescue beacon. It was actually very far away; I couldn’t see it clearly at all. Later, we went deep into the sea, but—"

He had actually sensed it.

"And the markings of the Pinghai rescue channel buoy were very similar to the style we saw on the swimming pool at the Guan family residence when we were kids. In an instant, countless blurry fragments suddenly rushed into my mind, intensely reminding me that someone must be looking for me, searching desperately for me."

The twin stars didn’t share roots, but across the sky and sea, they could still resonate in sync.

"Slowly, one day, my memories suddenly became clear."

Tan Youming opened his arms and hugged him tightly: "Of course I would keep looking for you. If I couldn’t find you, I’d keep searching. I’d search my whole life, until I die. I would never give up on you."

"Mm, thank you. But," Shen Zongnian gripped the nape of his neck, "don’t say such things."

District 11 Island’s city was minimally developed. The artificial land had no native inhabitants; it was all staff from the offshore oil corporation. The two checked into the island’s largest hotel, facing the sea. The walnut-colored decor and warm yellow desk lamp gave it a dated feel.

After a simple meal, Shen Zongnian went to take a shower first. Seeing Tan Youming hovering close and leaning against the glass door waiting, he frowned, seemed to want to say something, but ultimately didn’t ask him to leave.

Actually, Tan Youming wanted to just follow him in, but he was afraid of startling Shen Zongnian, so he pretended to be obedient and waited at the door.

Shen Zongnian came out wearing a bathrobe, water dripping down his exposed chest. He toweled his hair and lifted his chin. "Go take a shower."

Tan Youming glanced back repeatedly. "Then wait for me at the door."

"...Mm."

The sound of water started.

Tan Youming called out from the bathroom, "Shen Zongnian?"

"Mm."

Someone who usually could take his time for half an hour in the washroom came out in just a few minutes, water still not dried off his body. Shen Zongnian picked up the hairdryer. "Come here."

The fringed desk lamp cast a warm yellow glow. The sea breeze stirred the white gauze curtains. Tan Youming lowered his eyes and docilely let Shen Zongnian handle him, immersed from head to toe in a warm current, actually feeling a long-lost happiness and warmth. He secretly smiled to himself.

Even though Shen Zongnian had lost his memory once, his movements while blow-drying Tan Youming’s hair were still skillful. He asked casually, "Tan Youming."

"Have you... been to see a doctor?"

"Mm," Tan Youming played with the belt on his bathrobe. "I don’t think it helps."

Shen Zongnian frowned and turned off the hairdryer. "How could it be useless? It will be useful if you take it seriously."

Tan Youming dismissed it. "Then come with me to see the doctor when we go back."

"Mm."

Tan Youming stepped forward, leaning into him. "Did you already know I have separation anxiety about you?"

Shen Zongnian was silent for a moment. "I wasn’t sure." Before he could take Tan Youming for his check-up, the accident happened.

Tan Youming snorted, staring at Shen Zongnian’s exposed chest. His hand unconsciously reached out, stroking it and sliding into the bathrobe. He raised his head, unable to help himself, wanting to kiss him.

Shen Zongnian gripped his shoulders firmly. His heavier breathing hid forced calmness. He carefully adjusted Tan Youming’s bathrobe, then smoothed his somewhat messy hair. "The doctor, I’ll go with you to see, alright?"

"Let’s cure it."

Tan Youming frowned, about to say something, but Shen Zongnian cut in first: "You already know, I like you."

Tan Youming’s frown eased, the corners of his lips lifting slightly.

Aside from the drama on the boat where it was exposed, Shen Zongnian formally and solemnly confessed: "I’ve liked you for a long time, always liked you, liked you for many years."

Tan Youming felt a bit pleased. "I like you too."

"Mm, thank you. But," Shen Zongnian choosing his words carefully to avoid upsetting him, "are you really sure that’s liking me?"

Though he said this, his hand kept gently rubbing Tan Youming’s back. Shen Zongnian was constantly attentive to his emotions.

Tan Youming frowned. "What do you mean?"

Shen Zongnian said immediately, "I’m not doubting you, nor am I rejecting you. I just hope that after your symptoms disappear, or at least ease, you make a choice and decision again."

"Tan Youming," his dark eyes looked at him, assuring, "I will wait for you. If you change your mind, I won’t leave later either. I will always be by your side." Anyway, he had long been prepared to guard Tan Youming with another identity—family, friend, anything was fine.

Shen Zongnian’s large hand firmly pressed on Tan Youming’s shoulder, a comfort and also an unbreakable promise: "I said before, from now on between us, whatever you say goes. That statement is always valid."

"You think I’m a hostage to my illness, that I don’t really like you?"

A heart that had just tasted sweetness was abruptly thrown into a vat of acid. Tan Youming loudly defended himself: "Shen Zongnian, I’m sick, not stupid! I’m a thirty-year-old adult, physically and mentally mature. Would I not know who I like, who I’ve fallen in love with?"

For the first time, he regretted not taking treatment seriously before, causing the authenticity of his feelings to be taken for granted and questioned.

His chest heaved, each word emphatic: "Let me tell you, your room has been invaded by me. I sleep holding your pajamas every night. Every one of your jackets has been worn by me because it makes me feel like you’re holding me. Your bedsheets, your underwear—I’ve dirtied them all. That year during the Hungry Ghost Festival morning, my morning erection was all because of you!"

Shen Zongnian looked at him in shock. Tan Youming stepped closer, completely unrestrained: "There are even more excessive things! Do you dare listen! I missed you so much it hurt my bones. Drinking helped a little. When I got drunk and saw your photo, I couldn’t help but—"

Shen Zongnian covered his mouth, scolding, "Who taught you all this!"

"You did!" Tan Youming shouted, completely unapologetic. "You taught me everything in my dreams! It's all because of you!" My first crush was because of you, and those heated dreams were because of you too.

Shen Zongnian frowned, gently stroking his shoulder to soothe him, heart aching yet helpless. "I'm not rejecting you. I will never reject you. I just want you to think this through more carefully."

He paused for a moment, then asked, "Tan Youming, do you like men?" This really isn’t an easy path. Tan Youming never had to take the hard path.

"I don’t like men, and I don’t like women either. I can only fall for you." Shen Zongnian had appeared long before Tan Youming’s personality, preferences, and will were fully formed. Tan Youming falling in love with him was destined.

As if remembering something, Tan Youming quickly added, "If you’re talking about Huang Baoqi, we never even held hands. I brought her breakfast because I wanted to take the exams early and go abroad to find you. She was smart and helped me with problems—it was a thank-you gift. She didn’t like me; she liked Aunt Tang’s molten custard buns. She made me bring eight every day! Eight!"

In Huang Baoqi’s eyes, even those eight molten custard buns mattered more than Tan Youming did every day.

Shen Zongnian frowned, opening his mouth slightly, never expecting it to be like this.

Tan Youming, straightforward by nature, never knew how to filter himself and didn’t care about saving face. "I just like you, only you. I’ve liked you since before I knew what those feelings even were."

"Shen Zongnian, what you mean to me is beyond anything you could imagine."

Family, friends, lovers—it was Shen Zongnian who made Tan Youming who he is, who allowed Tan Youming to be "Tan Youming."

Tan Youming’s soul was tended to year after year by Shen Zongnian over more than a decade. The foundation of who Tan Youming is was shaped by Shen Zongnian’s selfless love. Tan Youming’s radiance, happiness, and fulfillment were painted stroke by stroke with Shen Zongnian himself as the fuel.

If he were to lose Shen Zongnian, Tan Youming would be completely deconstructed, becoming a strange, broken, hollow individual.

He said softly, "Sometimes I even feel like you raised me. My parents gave birth to me, and then you watered me little by little—worried I’d be cold in winter, worried I’d be hot in summer, taught me to ride horses, practiced shooting with me, watched me play, let me make trouble. When you’re not here, it’s like someone took a part of me away. I won’t die, but I can’t live well either. I’m just an empty shell."

Shen Zongnian couldn’t bear to listen any longer. Tan Youming was born to be his undoing, softening his heart with just a few words. He pulled him into a tight embrace and said calmly yet firmly into his ear, "I will kneel before the ancestral shrine."

Tan Youming suddenly turned his head, his eyes wide and shining.

"I will kneel before the ancestral shrine," Shen Zongnian repeated firmly.

He had long betrayed morality, conscience, and gratitude. Tan Youming came before everything else. He would accept any punishment or retribution.

"I will kneel before the ancestral shrine, beg the elders for forgiveness, ask for their approval, and plead with them to let me have you. I’m willing to do anything."