Chapter 382 A Loneliness He Could Not Share

Chapter 382: A Loneliness That Cannot Be Shared with Outsiders

The wind in Beiling cut like a knife edged with ice, sharp and painful against the face.

This wind seeped into every crack of the palace, so that even the hottest heated floor couldn't drive away the bone-deep chill.

Little Yejun fell ill in such frigid conditions.

The child was too young and could only express his pain through crying.

The cries came one after another, like fine needles piercing Jiang Shuning’s heart, twisting her guts into knots.

She hadn't slept in two days and nights; her eyes were bloodshot, and her body was like a bowstring stretched taut, ready to snap.

Holding the little one, whose body burned with fever, she paced and soothed him ceaselessly, but the little fellow refused to cooperate, still sobbing uncontrollably.

The imperial physicians of Beiling had come to see him, but the prescriptions they gave were nothing but harsh, heavy-duty herbal remedies commonly used by the Beiling people. How could Jiang Shuning dare to give such things to such a young child?

She had no choice but to use the most basic method, wiping the child down with warm water over and over and then using a small spoon to feed water into his cracked little mouth.

More than once, she silently blamed Xiao Huaijin in her heart, blaming him for taking her and Little Yejun to Beiling on his own accord, making the child endure all this suffering for nothing.

Just when she was at the end of her rope, about to break down and cry with the child, the shrill announcement of a palace attendant came from outside the hall.

“Her Majesty the Empress is here——”

Jiang Shuning’s heart trembled. Without a moment to straighten up, she had to rush out with the child in her arms, curtseying in a disheveled state.

“I, Jiang Shuning, a commoner, pay respects to Her Majesty the Empress!”

A warm hand caught her arm, gentle but firm.

“Please, rise.”

Jiang Shuning lifted her head and met a pair of tender eyes.

The Empress of Beiling appeared a few years older than Xiao Zhengxian, with a graceful, time-worn elegance, showing no hint of imperial majesty.

“Your Majesty, forgive me. I should have come to pay my respects sooner, but... but my child is ill...”

“It’s alright.” The Empress looked at Little Yejun, who was sobbing and gasping in her arms, her eyes full of sympathy. “I know how important a child is to a mother. With him ill, how could you have the heart to worry about anything else?”

As she spoke, she motioned for the palace maid behind her to present several brocade boxes.

“Originally, I shouldn’t have come to disturb you at this time, but I was truly curious to see what kind of person could captivate Fifth Brother so deeply.” The Empress smiled slightly, then changed the subject, pointing at the brocade boxes and saying, “I had the palace maids make you and your son some clothes. Beiling is freezing; you've only just arrived, so you're probably not used to it. Also, these are medicinal herbs I brought from Daye back then—for driving out the cold and building up your strength. See if they'll work for you.”

She paused and added, “I heard from Fifth Brother that your medical skills are excellent. But the medicinal herbs here in Beiling are strong in nature, very different from those in Daye. I thought that using our Daye herbs might be more suitable for the child's system.”

Jiang Shuning’s eyes lit up like she'd found an oasis in the desert.

She stepped forward and opened one of the medicinal herb boxes, and a familiar, slightly bitter herbal fragrance wafted out.

It was perilla, angelica, and high-quality fritillaria... all exactly the right remedies!

During these days, she had been so worried she felt like her hair was turning white. The herbs in Beiling’s palace were ones she had never seen before, and she had no idea about their properties. She couldn't even prepare her own herbal formula.

“Thank you, Your Majesty!” Jiang Shuning’s voice trembled—it was the gratitude of someone finding a lifeline in a desperate situation. “These herbs... these herbs are incredibly useful to me!”

Seeing how moved she was, the Empress's eyes softened even more. “Our Daye people really aren’t used to this freezing weather in Beiling. When I first married into this place, I got really sick too, so sick I couldn't even get out of bed, let alone attend to His Majesty on our wedding night...”

At this point, a shadow of gloom flickered across her eyes—a deep, buried loneliness she could never share with anyone.

But that emotion was only momentary; she quickly hid it and went back to her gentle smile. “If you need anything here, just let someone tell me. Don’t force yourself to bear it alone. Whatever I can do, I'll have the palace staff take care of it for you.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty.” Jiang Shuning bowed deeply again.

Watching the Empress's grand procession depart, Jiang Shuning turned and carried the child back into the inner chamber.

She quickly selected the medicinal herbs, started a fire, and brewed the medicine.

The pungent smell of the herbs soon filled the hall, as if it also chased away some of the bone-chilling cold.

Using a small silver spoon, she gently parted Little Yejun's lips and carefully spooned the lukewarm medicine into his mouth.

Maybe the medicine worked, or maybe he was just worn out from crying; after drinking the medicine, he gradually stopped crying and fell into a deep sleep in her arms.

Listening to the child’s steady breathing, Jiang Shuning's frayed nerves finally relaxed.

She gently placed the child on the bed covered with thick, soft bedding, tucked in the corners, and then collapsed onto the footrest beside the bed, too exhausted to lift a finger.

After resting for a while, she remembered the clothes the Empress had given her.

She walked over and opened the brocade boxes one by one.

Inside were several new quilted palace gowns, made from Beiling's unique cloud brocade, thick and soft.

She picked up a small child’s garment; it was made of fine cotton with stitches so fine it was amazing.

She casually turned it over, and suddenly, the feel of it under her fingers made her stop.

The stitching on several pieces was uniform and neat, the technique meticulous, unlike the rough stitching common in Beiling.

The embroidery patterns were not the usual cloud motifs of good fortune seen in Beiling's palace, but a small, budding plum blossom.

This embroidery style... was Daye's Suzhou embroidery.

Jiang Shuning was somewhat surprised.

Had the Empress sewn these herself?

The night was as dark as ink, steeping the majestic palace in silence.

Xiao Huaijin pushed open the door, and he saw Jiang Shuning sitting alone by the bed, looking weary, wiping the fine sweat from the forehead of the sleeping Little Yejun.

His heart immediately filled with guilt.

“Shuning, it’s my fault.” He stepped forward, reaching out to hold her hand resting on her knee. A flicker of guilt passed over his handsome face. “I should have been here to take care of Jun with you, but His Majesty kept calling me away to talk business...”

During these days in Beiling’s palace, the Beiling Emperor had summoned him for discussions almost daily, covering everything from trade to military defense, from the customs of Daye to the business operations of the Cui family.

As the younger brother-in-law, facing his brother-in-law’s hospitality, it was hard for him to say no, leaving him no time to help her take care of their sick child.

His palm was warm, but that warmth seemed unable to reach her fingertips.

Jiang Shuning’s fingers stiffened slightly. Then, expressionless, she pulled her hand out of his grasp.

The movement was very light, but it was like an invisible wall, shutting him out.

“It’s fine.” She spoke, her voice as flat as a stagnant pond. “The Empress sent over medicinal herbs from Daye. I brewed a decoction and gave some to Jun. In a few days, he should recover.”

"Did my sister, the Empress, come by?" Xiao Huaijin was somewhat surprised, and then a smile appeared on his lips. "I mentioned you to her before. She's been curious about you—her soon-to-be sister-in-law. I didn't expect she would come on her own."

The words "soon-to-be sister-in-law" made Jiang Shuning feel a bit uneasy. Her gaze drifted to the small pile of neatly folded clothes on the table, and she changed the subject.

"The Empress sent some baby clothes." She reached out and picked up the topmost little garment, her fingertips lightly brushing over the delicate embroidery. "The stitching looks like the Daye embroidery style. I think she made it herself. I was thinking, once Jun gets better, I could make some clothes for her as well. I wonder how old her child is now?"

She asked casually, as if it were just a polite gesture of reciprocity.

But as soon as she said this, the smile on Xiao Huaijin's face instantly froze.

After a long moment, he said, his voice rough and barely above a whisper, as if it might break apart in the night wind: "The Empress... has no children."