Chapter 23 Intolerable: In This Life, I Have Lost All Face

Chapter 23 How Can I Bear It? I've Lost All Face in This Life

After Jiang Yueyi left the mourning hall, it was like all her strength had been drained. She had held on to a breath while facing Qi Yuan, but as soon as she left, that breath dissipated, and she was practically leaning on Qing Lan, following the person ahead step by step.

Feng Shi had made reasonable arrangements. Even though she no longer trusted Jiang Yueyi, she would still temporarily settle her down, though it wasn't exactly honorable. At best, it was house arrest, so she could only place her in a remote courtyard of the mansion, out of sight, out of mind, to avoid the servants gossiping.

Although it was nearly noon and the sun was at its zenith, the cold winter wind still made one feel very uncomfortable. Jiang Yueyi wrapped herself in a thick brocade cloak, but she didn't know if the sweat was from walking or from the mourning hall. She felt neither cold nor hot, and her forehead was icy cold against the wind. Whenever the wind blew, it felt like an ice cube pressing against her forehead.

Jiang Yueyi was on the verge of vomiting, so she had to stop, standing still to catch her breath. But standing in the wind wasn't much better than walking. She slightly raised her hand to shield her forehead, but her headache worsened, and the wind kept rushing into her mouth and nose.

Seeing Jiang Yueyi's pale face, Qing Lan grew anxious and quickly asked, "Madam, what's wrong? Should we sit down and rest?"

At this point, Jiang Yueyi couldn't even speak. There was a knot in her chest she couldn't loosen, hanging in midair, as if tightening around her throat.

She looked up at the sun, which offered little warmth, and found it harsh and yellowish-white, stinging her eyes.

She tried to lower her head, but everything went black, and she lost consciousness.

When she woke up again, she was in a strange place.

The bed canopy was green, embroidered with a few orchids, and looked cold. The quilt covering her was soft and warm, allowing her thoughts to gradually return.

This must be the lodging Feng Shi had arranged for her.

Only she was lying inside the bed curtain, but there were voices from outside, belonging to Feng Shi and Zhou Congshen.

Jiang Yueyi coughed softly and moved her body. The bed curtain was immediately lifted a corner, and Qing Lan looked inside, saying, "Madam is awake!"

Upon hearing this, Feng Shi came in. She was haggard and didn't sit by Jiang Yueyi's bed but stood there and said, "You're awake, that's good. Just take it easy. If it wasn't your doing, it won't be wronged against you. One day, your innocence will be proven. For now, take care of yourself and focus on safely delivering the child."

Jiang Yueyi understood that this wasn't the time to argue with Feng Shi. Given all the evidence pointing to her, Feng Shi's willingness to give her some leeway was already the utmost kindness, mainly for the sake of the child in her womb.

But for Jiang Yueyi, that was enough. Otherwise, according to Qi Yuan's intention, she would have been thrown into prison by now.

"Thank you for your compassion, Mother," Jiang Yueyi tried to struggle up from the bed. Feng Shi couldn't bear it and came over to press her down, tears streaming from Jiang Yueyi's eyes. She said, "I only hope that the Master will clear my name from the underworld! I really don't know why the Second Master is so determined to make things hard for me. Is he... is he trying to take over the mansion? If in the end it can't be proven, I will have no choice but to die..."

If she were truly thrown into prison by Qi Yuan, she could only hope that Qi Hao would have a conscience and come out on his own, but that hope was slim.

Hearing her mention Qi Hao, Feng Shi naturally became even more distressed and couldn't help but cry. Finally, she said, "I certainly don't want it to be you, and I don't believe you would do such a thing as harming your husband. You've already put your pregnancy at risk this time, so you must not speak such discouraging words."

After saying this, Feng Shi seemed afraid of stirring more grief, so she turned and left without waiting for Jiang Yueyi to respond. Outside the curtain, Zhou Congshen softly comforted Feng Shi a few times before she calmed down a bit.

Zhou Congshen then said, "When I came just now, the Second Master followed along."

"What is he doing here?" Feng Shi snorted coldly, her melancholy receding slightly to show impatience. "He's disturbed our household peace. My son died for no reason, and he presents evidence saying my daughter-in-law is the killer... it's absurd!"

Zhou Congshen was silent for a moment, not wanting to meddle too much in the mansion's affairs, and only said, "I'll take care of things here. With me around, your sister-in-law and her child will be fine. Aunt, if the Second Master bothers you, just send him away. Don't let him stay."

After speaking, he glanced secretly into the curtain.

Feng Shi nodded at Zhou Congshen's words and finally instructed him, "I'm leaving her in your care. With this incident, she's confined here. It's not good to call an outside doctor, as it might alert outsiders to our household's secrets and spread unpleasant rumors."

After Feng Shi left, she saw Qi Yuan indeed standing at the courtyard gate. Perhaps to avoid suspicion, he hadn't followed Zhou Congshen in but stood far away.

Before Feng Shi could reach him, he bowed to her with proper respect. Feng Shi turned her head away, unwilling to see his act, and said, "There's nothing going on here. You don't need to come."

"I just heard about the sister-in-law's incident and came to check," Qi Yuan said unhurriedly.

Feng Shi's anger flared, and thinking of her son, burned to a charred corpse and autopsied, grief surged again. Taking a deep breath, she said to her stepson, "The house is in such a state, what more do you want? I don't understand all this evidence. If you say it's Yueyi, then so be it, but you know your own intentions. Even if my son is gone, and you force Yueyi and her child to death, the mansion won't necessarily be yours."

Qi Yuan's eyes dimmed, but he had expected Feng Shi to say this once she came to her senses, so he only said lightly, "I wouldn't dare."

"Enough," Feng Shi said, feeling like her punch had landed on cotton. She didn't want to stay and be angry any longer and waved her hand. "Go back. Don't come here unless necessary. None of us want to see you. I'll say one more thing: don't push people to their limits, or you might regret it in the end."

These words sounded familiar to Qi Yuan, but he couldn't recall where he had heard them. Given Feng Shi's usual harshness toward him, he didn't dwell on it. Since he had come out of obligation and Feng Shi was sending him away, he had no reason to linger at his sister-in-law's quarters. He merely bid farewell to Feng Shi and left on his own.

The faint voices outside naturally reached inside. Jiang Yueyi had also heard Zhou Congshen say that Qi Yuan was outside. She couldn't see him, but she wished she could cover her ears. Fortunately, she couldn't make out what they were saying, which eased her mind a bit.

Zhou Congshen hadn't left yet. He gave a few instructions to Qing Lan on how to care for Jiang Yueyi, then came in to check her pulse again.

"Nothing serious. A few doses of medicine will help," Zhou Congshen comforted her. "As Aunt just said, don't take it to heart. There's always a solution. I think the Second Master isn't a bad person. In this case, he's doing it for my cousin, not to harm you for money or the title."

After hearing this, Jiang Yueyi turned her face away and then nodded slightly.

Zhou Congshen got up to leave, but then Jiang Yueyi asked softly, "You know about Su Hengniang and the Master, so you also know about us?"

Zhou Congshen was stunned, forcing a stiff smile. "I won't tell anyone. Rest assured."

Not yet married and always focused on medicine, he was clearly at a loss when it came to such private topics.

Jiang Yueyi looked at the bed canopy and closed her eyes. "I've lost all face in this life. If I really die at the Second Master's hands, how could I ever bear that?"

"Don't overthink it. Everything will be fine," Zhou Congshen said as he lit some calming incense.

"Can you tell me what really happened with the Master? Is he... not dead at all?" Jiang Yueyi seized the moment to ask.

She didn't know if Qi Yuan was a bad person, but Zhou Congshen was soft-hearted.

However, Zhou Congshen replied, "How could that be? Don't dwell on it. He's dead, burned in that fire that day."

After speaking, Zhou Congshen picked up his medicine chest and left. But just as he stepped out, Jiang Yueyi came out of bed and followed him. Zhou Congshen quickly stopped, afraid she might fall from unsteady steps.

As he moved to support her, Jiang Yueyi steadied herself against the table and said, "Then why is Su Hengniang missing too?"

"Her disappearance is her own affair," Zhou Congshen said impatiently. "Just let them go. Su Hengniang can go wherever she wants. What does it matter if she leaves? I tell you, your husband is gone. Ask me again and you'll get the same answer. Go back and lie down. You've already put your pregnancy at risk. Do you truly not want this child?"

As Zhou Congshen spoke, Jiang Yueyi looked down at her swollen belly. She gently touched it, feeling the baby's movement, and then smiled bitterly.

Even after asking like this, Zhou Congshen still wouldn't tell her the truth.

Zhou Congshen quickly called Qing Lan to support Jiang Yueyi and said hurriedly, "Rest well," before leaving.

Among the four maids—Mei, Lan, Zhu, and Ju—only Qing Lan was allowed to attend to Jiang Yueyi. Seeing her standing so thin and frail, Qing Lan couldn't help but cry.

"The Second Master has driven Madam to such a state. Why doesn't Madam just tell him about their affair? He might show mercy for old times' sake and the child," Qing Lan sobbed.

Jiang Yueyi sat on the bed and shook her head. "This was the agreement from the start, and I can't go back on it now. For now, the old lady still thinks well of me, but if I can't help but spill it, she'll lump me together with the Second Master. Then, if I can't produce evidence that I didn't kill my husband, the old lady will truly believe I did it. As for the Second Master... he is upright and fair, only cares about evidence. He may not show me any leniency."

"Is there really nothing that can be done?"

After a long silence, Jiang Yueyi said, "I can't go anywhere. Tell Cui Mei to keep investigating, look into Su Hengniang's background, but don't let anyone know."

For now, there was no better plan. Trapped here, soon to give birth, she could do little else. In the end, she couldn't even be sure if Qi Hao was truly dead; it was all just her speculation.

What else could she do?

The calming incense spiraled upward, its fragrance seeping into her breath. Jiang Yueyi leaned wearily against the headboard, let out a long sigh, and slowly drifted off to sleep.