Chapter 172: Confession (Part 2)

Chapter 172: Confession (Part 2)

When Wen Ren Yue pushed open the door and entered, he heard a gust of wind rushing toward his face.

After being trained by Le Wuya for a while, his martial arts had come along a bit.

Wen Ren Yue dodged nimbly to the side, and a rolled-up map smacked right into the door panel behind him.

He glanced down, surprised.

It was the map of Tongzhou.

Le Wuya had already seated himself back behind the desk in the study, with a four-character plaque hanging over his head, personally inscribed by Wen Ren Yue.

"Qi Yao He Ping" — "Keep your breath calm."

When the door opened and Le Wuya caught sight of who it was, he realized he'd chucked it at the wrong person.

He tucked his hands neatly under the desk, playing it cool: "Oh, it's you. You're back, huh?"

There was only him in the room; Wen Ren Yue wasn't about to think the map had magically come to life and flown at him.

But he wasn't the type to pry.

"Yeah, I'm back." He picked up the map, smoothed out the wrinkles, and carefully hung it back on the wall. "Dad said he wants to come see you. You up for that?"

"Sure. An ugly..."

Le Wuya had meant to say "an ugly bride's gotta meet the in-laws eventually," but he choked the words back.

Those two kisses from Zhi Jie had left his head spinning, and he still couldn't figure out where he'd gone wrong as a teacher.

...Better to watch his own mouth for now.

Hearing that half-finished sentence, Wen Ren Yue moved closer, puzzled, pulled out the pastries from his book box and laid them out one by one. Then he studied Le Wuya's face carefully and said with a grin, "What's ugly about that?"

Le Wuya stared blankly at him, his mind a jumble of thoughts.

Scenes from his past life, from this life — countless images spun like a lantern wheel warmed by street heat, whirling fast, until only fleeting flashes remained.

Wen Ren Yue could tell he was feeling down, only answering one out of every three questions, so he dropped the questioning and instead told him old tales from Jiangnan.

Coming back to his hometown this time had stirred up a lot of feelings, but maybe because your surroundings shape who you are, he wasn't all that sad about it.

His dad was healthy, the family business was booming, and he'd turned over a new leaf, moving up in the world. So what if he'd ended up in a different body?

But Wen Ren Yue's stories weren't exactly thrilling.

He'd grown up in a sheltered, stable life — either reading in the study at home or reading while keeping an eye on the shop. He really had no exciting stories to share.

The shop staff all knew Wen Renxiong was dead set on his only son making something of himself, so they never bothered him with anything, tiptoeing around whenever they passed by.

Growing up like that, he'd never even skipped a single class — he was the poster child for model students.

The most dramatic thing he'd ever done in his life was offer up his own life as a sacrifice to Ming Xiangzhao.

But by some twist of fate, he'd summoned Le Wuya instead.

The stories that came after were ones the two of them had lived through together — not something to bring up now.

Seeing that his boring stories weren't doing anything to perk Le Wuya up, he gave a helpless little smile, walked around the desk, and crouched down next to Le Wuya.

"Brother Gu," he said softly. "If something's bothering you, just tell me."

Le Wuya looked at him and shook his head with a smile.

He still remembered that this young man had a thing for him.

After Wen Ren Yue passed the provincial exam and earned the title of Juren Master, he'd rushed all the way to Tongzhou without stopping. Le Wuya couldn't tell if he'd let go of those romantic feelings.

Even though his own heart was a tangled mess of wild weeds, Le Wuya didn't want this simple, pure-hearted guy getting all tangled up with him.

He gave Wen Ren Yue's head a pat. "Alright, listening to your stories is putting me to sleep."

Wen Ren Yue reached out to steady him. "Then would you like to rest for a while?"

Le Wuya swatted his palm lightly. "When you went out, did you see him?"

Wen Ren Yue quickly understood who "he" was. "Yes. I've already settled the Sixth Prince."

"He's staying?"

"Yes." Wen Ren Yue relayed truthfully, "He said he was very tired and needed to rest. So I called Hua Rong to prepare a clean room and invited him to stay temporarily in the government office."

Receiving a prince — something an ordinary official might never do in a lifetime — they'd already handled with ease in Nanting, so it posed no difficulty now.

Le Wuya leaned out to glance at the sky outside the window.

Though it was a fine, clear day, the sun had already drifted westward, a round orange disc hanging at the horizon, its light soft and not glaring.

"It seems there won't be any urgent official business today." He smiled and raised a hand toward Wen Ren Yue. "Buy me some wine, will you?"

Wen Ren Yue's brow twitched slightly.

Since returning from the capital, Le Wuya had strictly adhered to his rules and not touched a drop of alcohol.

Why break that vow today of all days?

But knowing Le Wuya as he did, even if he pressed relentlessly, he wouldn't get an answer.

Wen Ren Yue frowned slightly, thought for a moment, and nodded.

Wen Ren Yue knew his own constitution well. He took a stroll around the street and came back with only a bowl of hot fermented rice dumpling soup.

When he was a child, he'd fall asleep right after eating this — it worked like a charm.

...He didn't know that Le Wuya couldn't hold his tongue after drinking.

After a bowl of hot dumpling soup, Le Wuya was quickly wrapped in a wave of drowsiness like a silkworm in its cocoon. He set down his spoon, and his eyes could barely stay open.

Wen Ren Yue carried him to bed, pleased with his clever scheme. He stripped him down to his underclothes, then removed his shoes and socks, placing the shoes neatly at the foot of the bed, and planned to take the socks and outer robe out to wash together.

These servile tasks he performed naturally, without any awkwardness, showing not a trace of Juren Master airs.

Unexpectedly, as soon as Wen Ren Yue finished his work and looked up, he came face to face with Le Wuya, who was propped at the bedside, scrutinizing him.

Le Wuya's eyes were like stars in the sky, casting a cold, clear light, yet with no distinct focal point — merely shining vaguely upon all the world.

Before Wen Ren Yue could speak, his face had already flushed a bright red.

Wen Ren Yue hadn't managed to stop him in time, and Le Wuya's words came pouring out in a torrent.

He leaned over the side of the bed, and with just one opening line, caught Wen Ren Yue completely flat-footed: "Do you know I'm into guys?"

Wen Ren Yue went silent.

Wen Ren Yue gave a low cough: "Mm, I've heard rumors."

The rumors he'd heard on the way to the capital seemed to have grown legs, crawling relentlessly into his mind.

A flicker of panic rising in him, Wen Ren Yue reached down to fiddle with his shoes, but no matter how he arranged them, they just wouldn't line up.

Meanwhile, Le Wuya went on, unprompted: "I do like guys... but I've never been with anyone but Little Phoenix."

He covered his face, thoroughly embarrassed: "...I really haven't gotten out much."

Wen Ren Yue's hand stilled.

At the nickname "Little Phoenix," he could vaguely guess who it referred to.

On the long street, when Brother Gu had first met Pei Mingqi, his demeanor and expression had been strikingly different from how he was with anyone else.

"Little Phoenix" seemed like a deep scar carved into his very bones.

Wen Ren Yue lifted his head, gazing at Le Wuya with quiet encouragement and tenderness, waiting for him to go on.

"After I came back from the border, I didn't dare like Little Phoenix anymore. I didn't dare like anyone." Le Wuya's breathing was a bit rapid, but his tone remained calm. "I've been lucky—I've met a lot of good people—but I'm too good at dragging people down. I've been a burden since the day I was born. My mother, my older brother, my uncle, my... that whole family."

Seeing him list his own faults like they were treasured possessions, Wen Ren Yue's heart ached, but he held to the code of a gentleman, and reached out to grasp the small sash hanging from Le Wuya's underrobe: "Brother Gu... Brother Le, don't think that way."

"I'm not thinking that way; it's just the truth," he said quietly. "I'm a bargaining chip, a pawn. You know that, right? I'm pretty useful, aren't I?"

Wen Ren Yue was struck silent for a moment.

He couldn't deny it. "Why bring all this up now?"

Le Wuya couldn't quite say himself.

He shook his head, thoughts muddled. It was all Xiaoliu's fault.

Xiaoliu had come running, rattling off that whole speech, as if he were actually worth liking.

Ever since he'd learned the truth about his origins, he'd been like this—sometimes burning with ambition, sometimes sunk in despair.

Le Wuya liked people to fear him, submit to him, dread him.

"Being liked" was something far too foreign and distant for him.

Could he still, like he had as a kid, drop everything and chase Little Phoenix to the border without a second thought?

He asked himself, and the answer was: not really.

But if someone tried to approach him step by step, chasing after him, he didn't want that either.

Because being with him meant constant turmoil, and for whoever did the chasing, it would be too exhausting, too bitter, too hard.

Yet he was greedy by nature, wanting to drag every good thing in the world back to his own nest.

If he couldn't have it, he'd rather go without.

"Wen Ren Ming Ke, do you still have feelings for me?" Le Wuya asked earnestly. "Could you stop liking me and just see me as a useful Brother Gu, okay?"

Wen Ren Yue went quiet.

His chest felt like a boulder was rolling over it, but it wasn't from self-pity.

He understood. He hurt for him.

"Brother Gu, I can't. ...Not yet."

Wen Ren Yue clutched the sash until it grew warm, as if trying to channel his own strength through it and into Le Wuya: "But Brother Gu, you're just scared, not unwilling."

"Instead of waiting around, why not let go and chase?"

Le Wuya frowned, confused: "Chase?"

"Brother Gu and I are one still, one in motion. Waiting's more my thing. Brother Gu's always been doing things he's not good at—stagnating, hesitating—so of course it's uncomfortable."

Wen Ren Yue gently worked the sash between his fingers, his tone steady: "You chase, you run. I'll stay here, watching and waiting for you."

He thought of the countless nights he'd spent reading by lamplight in Nanting, and a gentle smile tugged at the corners of his lips: "To be honest, Brother Gu, I like the days I spend waiting for you."