Chapter 19 Night Road

Chapter 19: Walking Home at Night

By the time Hoshino Haruna finished crying, the sun had already set, so it was only natural that they walked home together in the dark.

...

Huh. Wait.

"Don't you have volleyball practice this afternoon?" Hoshino suddenly realized.

How could he just naturally start walking toward the station with her!

Tsukishima Kei glanced at her sidelong.

"We're already this far from the school gates and you're only noticing now? You're way too slow on the uptake..." he remarked.

Hoshino: "Hey—"

"I already asked to leave early," he added.

Hoshino: '… Oh.'

Why didn't you say so earlier?

A little annoyed, Hoshino tugged at her uniform bag strap.

But after a few more steps, she noticed something else off.

"Wait," she asked again, "so why were you over there this afternoon anyway?"

The classrooms on that floor were practically never used; nobody usually goes there!

"I heard from some classmates that a first-year in the Student Council Publicity Department got into an argument with the head," Tsukishima said slowly, "and I immediately figured it was you. Since you weren't in the Student Council anymore and hadn't gone back to Class 1-3, you were probably hiding somewhere. It's not surprising you picked the nearest spot."

Hoshino: "...Oh."

This guy is way too analytical!

...

Huh. Wait.

How did he know she wasn't with the Student Council anymore? And that she hadn't gone back to class? Did he go check both places? Could it be that...

"Tsukishima," Hoshino suddenly asked, "did you come looking for me on purpose?"

...

Tsukishima looked away and kept walking without a word.

Hoshino: Huh?

That, that... was that a silent admission?!

He really came all this way to find her! And here she thought he was just passing by!

Feeling unexpectedly lighthearted, her steps became lighter too.

"Now that I think about it, that commotion really was kind of big, huh..." Hoshino said a bit sheepishly. "But the head closed the office door, so not many people could have heard much, right?"

"Mm, not much."

"Good..."

"From what people who were there said, probably about eighty to ninety percent."

"...Huh?!?!"

Hoshino was completely shocked.

"Eighty to ninety percent?!" she couldn't believe it. "Th-that's way too much, don't you think?!"

And that Publicity Department door has terrible soundproofing!

"Why are you so flustered?" Tsukishima asked, puzzled. "They were the ones who used your work without permission, weren't they?"

If anyone should be panicking, it's them.

"Uh, well, how should I put it..." Hoshino fidgeted with her hands. "I'm in the right, but it's just too weird having so many people hear about it… I mean, those Publicity Department people are really annoying, but still…"

...Too weird!!

She never imagined becoming the center of attention at school like this!!

"Just out of curiosity," Hoshino asked, grasping at straws, "that eighty to ninety percent doesn't include any weird statements from me, right?"

Tsukishima thought about what the classmates who were there had told him.

"Weird statements?" he asked. "You mean 'Can you please consider the male lead's feelings for once?' or 'I don't think someone who doesn't care about a character's inner feelings can draw a truly vivid character'..."

"Aaaaahhhh okay okay! Enough! Stop!"

Hoshino grabbed Tsukishima's arm with one hand; if she were tall enough, she'd have covered his mouth with the other.

What is wrong with this guy! He remembers even things she doesn't recall saying herself! And don't repeat my words in that flat, robot-like tone—it makes it even more embarrassing!

"Speaking of which, there's also..."

"Aaaaahhhh okay okay that's really enough already!" Hoshino was determined not to let him speak again.

"I was just upset and cried a bit, I'm not drunk or anything—I remember what I said, you don't have to repeat everything!"

...

"That's not what I meant," Tsukishima said, looking somewhat exasperated. "I was about to say..."

...

Under Hoshino's probing gaze, Tsukishima looked away.

"Forget it, it's nothing," he said.

Hoshino shot him a confused look.

What do you mean, what do you mean? I hate when people leave sentences half-finished!

"Nothing means nothing," he replied.

"...Then there IS something."

"...There really isn't."

"That's not right!"

Hoshino let go of Tsukishima's arm, put her hands on her hips, and jumped in front of him, forcing him to stop.

"That's exactly why people invented the phrase 'it's nothing'!" she declared confidently.

Tsukishima: ?

What kind of twisted logic was that?

"Alright," he relented. "It's actually not a big deal... Wait, no, that's not quite right either. I mean, you don't need to worry about it... Hmm, that doesn't sound right either. Forget it..."

As if finally giving up, Tsukishima took a deep breath and slowly began to speak—

"According to the classmates standing outside the door, while you were arguing, you also talked about some topics unrelated to the promotional posters."

Hoshino blinked blankly, "Oh..."

That was it? This whole time, Tsukishima was hesitating just to ask about that?

...

Wait, what exactly were those topics unrelated to the promotional posters?

Hoshino quickly searched her memory, from when she stepped into the Publicity Department office to when she left and closed the door. At last, she recalled the only part that matched Tsukishima's description.

...

Ah, so that's it.

Hoshino finally understood.

So this was what Tsukishima wanted to ask about.

***

"If you keep being this difficult, this mom might abandon you too, you know. Then you'll be all alone again. How pitiful, don't you think?"

When she heard those words from the department head, Hoshino wasn't as angry as you'd expect.

Well, sure, looking back now, it did make her furious. But that came later. At that moment, more than anger, she felt a sense of absurdity.

She had never deliberately hidden the fact that she came from a single-parent family. In fact, if anyone asked, she'd honestly admit her mother adopted her from an orphanage.

...No wonder that department head was able to find out.

"Huh? Didn't I tell you about this, Tsukishima?" Hoshino couldn't quite remember. "I thought I mentioned it before!"

Tsukishima gave her a complicated expression.

"O-Okay!" Hoshino caught on quickly. "But I didn't mean to hide it from you! It's just that you never asked me..."

Walking beside Tsukishima, Hoshino fiddled with her fingers.

"Well, I think it would be weird to bring up something like that out of nowhere if no one asks, right? It's like how people don't just randomly mention how many family members they have. It's the same for me!"

She wasn't just putting on a brave face. She genuinely believed it.

She really did think she was no different from anyone else.

Sure, she had been abandoned by her biological mother as a child and had spent a few years in an orphanage. But...

"But that's all in the past now!" Hoshino explained earnestly. "Right now, I have the best—the absolute BEST—mom in the whole world! If it weren't for everything that happened before, I might not have the life I have now! Looking at it from that perspective, I actually think I'm pretty lucky, you know?"

Tsukishima's expression grew even more complicated.

Was this really the kind of thought process a normal person could have?!

If it weren't Hoshino standing next to him, Tsukishima would have definitely thought she was putting up a brave front. But this was Hoshino. He could easily see in her eyes that this wasn't just an excuse to brush him off. She meant it.

She genuinely believed it.

That made all the comforting words he'd prepared completely useless.

After a long silence, Tsukishima asked, "Then... how do you feel about what happened before?"

...

"Sorry, that was too personal. You can just—"

"Ah, you mean that."

Hoshino scratched her head, cutting him off.

"It's not that I don't want to talk about it. Maybe it's because I was too young back then, and it was so long ago. I honestly don't remember much."

She couldn't even recall that woman's face anymore.

Human memory is limited. Unimportant things gradually fade from memory. Only things that are repeatedly revisited remain clear, like rocks that the waves keep washing clean. Having read countless manga since childhood, Hoshino knew this well. So she decided—and she acted on it—to save her memory space for the truly important people and things: for her real mother, Akiko Hoshino, and for the friends she had met along the way.

"So yeah, I really can't understand why the department head used that to attack me," Hoshino said honestly. "What made me angry was that he intended to use those words to hurt me. As for the words themselves, or the logic behind his attack—I really don't understand it."

What was he thinking? Acting like she would definitely fly into a rage and feel humiliated after hearing that. How strange... Wasn't he just showing how classless he was by disrespecting someone's family background?

"Actually, this isn't the first time I've encountered this kind of situation." Hoshino recalled as she walked. "When I've told people about my family before, some rude people would use it to make fun of me. But honestly, it's not all bad for me—after all, I need real-life inspiration for the bad guys in my stories!"

"...Bad guys?"

"Yeah!" Hoshino nodded firmly. "Most of my friends are hot-blooded goofball types, so they're not really suitable as references for bad guys... Since those people came to me on their own, I'd be stupid not to use them!"

Tsukishima looked at her and couldn't help smiling.

"Really... Only you would turn something like this into material," he said.

"Things like this are exactly what should become material!" Hoshino emphasized again.

Otherwise, wouldn't she have been mocked for nothing? What a waste!

"Anyway, I'm going to keep drawing no matter what. Let 'em laugh all they want!" Hoshino declared boldly.

"Keep drawing, huh..." Tsukishima murmured. "Even if you have to go through something like what happened this afternoon again?"

"Even if I have to go through something like this afternoon again," Hoshino answered seriously.

Being belittled, mocked, looked down on... All that pain would become her nourishment.

"I know what you're thinking, Tsukishima..." Hoshino waved her hand at him. "You're probably thinking, since you know this pain is unavoidable, why not just avoid doing it altogether from the start?"

Tsukishima narrowed his eyes but didn't deny it.

From his perspective, that was indeed the case. After all, no one can guarantee that hard work will be equally repaid. The more you invest upfront, the more painful it will be when the outcome falls short, right?

"I know that logic too," Hoshino explained. "It's like a match—once you step onto the court, there will always be winners and losers. No one can guarantee they'll win every time. If you do nothing, of course you won't suffer. But then, there'd be no joy either. That's not what I want. So..."

Hoshino quickened her pace to walk ahead of Tsukishima, then suddenly turned around and declared to him—

"I'm staying on my own court."

***

This June, the Karasuno High School boys' volleyball team faced the powerhouse Aoba Johsai in the IH preliminaries and lost by a narrow margin.

At the post-match dinner, Tsukishima was the only one on the team who didn't cry.

Of course, he felt frustrated by the loss. Yet reason told him that Aoba Johsai was never an opponent you could easily beat with just that feeling of frustration.

So, why did everyone else cry?

Tsukishima couldn't figure it out.

It wasn't until he and Hoshino went to the amusement park and rode all the rides, big and small, that the gloom in his heart eased a little. But he still hadn't found an answer to that question.

On the Ferris wheel, he asked Hoshino why she would go this far for her manga. She answered: so that her future self wouldn't be unable to forgive her present self.

He could accept that reasoning, but he didn't really understand it.

The pain of giving your all and then failing can't be soothed by a simple phrase.

Tsukishima didn't doubt Hoshino's resolve when she said that, but he was skeptical about whether she could actually follow through. After all, it was the Karasuno boys' volleyball team that had suffered the defeat at the time. If that failure had happened to Hoshino herself, could she still say such confident words so calmly?

At least back then, Tsukishima couldn't be certain.

But now, after witnessing firsthand Hoshino's entire journey from self-doubt to bouncing back, he finally knew for sure—

She had really been holding her brush with that same belief.

"I'm staying on my own court."

After saying that, Hoshino turned around decisively and continued walking, hopping every few steps.

Her loafers made crisp sounds on the bricks.

"Tap, tap."

On this quiet night road, it was like a casually composed melody.

Tsukishima silently followed behind her, lost in thought, his eyes fixed on her back.

At this moment, what was that shimmering light falling on Hoshino?

Was it the lights? Or the moonlight?

...

No, it must be starlight, he thought.

People only see that the moon is more noticeable than the stars, but they forget that the moon is just a satellite that reflects sunlight, while stars shine on their own. In their own galaxies, stars are just as dazzling as the sun.

He knew it—how could he not know—

All along, between him and Hoshino, she was the more shining one.

-To Be Continued-