Chapter 40

Chapter 40

Pei Qingji fell silent, and only after a long moment did he speak with his head lowered.

"Yes."

The moment those words left his mouth, the anger in Cheng Yuan's chest burned even hotter.

"You wanted to help me, didn't you?"

Pei Qingji nodded.

Watching his reaction, Cheng Yuan almost wanted to laugh. "When people were trashing my name, why didn't I see you stand up for me?"

"When did you find out about this?"

"..."

Oh, so that's why. No wonder he'd looked at him so weirdly that day—there was a flicker of guilt in his eyes, but it was gone in a flash, and then he rushed off.

Cheng Yuan thought, his face blank.

Pei Qingji's face went pale, and he dropped his head even lower.

"I..."

It was his own bias that kept him from digging into the truth right away. Instead, he'd bought what the netizens were saying—that Cheng Yuan was just trying to leech off his fame.

He walked up to Cheng Yuan, looked him in the eye, and said, dead serious.

"I'm sorry."

Cheng Yuan's pupils shrank. He dropped his gaze, fists clenched at his sides, and bit out through gritted teeth.

"Do you think one little 'sorry' can wipe away everything I went through back then?"

Pei Qingji blurted out, "No, that's not what I meant, I..."

Cheng Yuan's eyes went red, and he said coldly, "No?!"

He let out a bitter chuckle. "Did you or didn't you believe what they said about me—that I was exactly that kind of person?"

"Haven't you always thought of me as someone who'd do anything for a buck? You gonna tell me you never thought that?"

Cheng Yuan's heart went colder and colder, and every word out of his mouth cut deep.

Everything he'd done for him—partly because he loved him, partly to repay the debt for saving his life back then.

But what did it get him?

Meeting him in the first place had been a mistake. It was all one-sided on his part. The guy never even liked him, and he'd still gone and thrown himself at him like an idiot.

Pei Qingji suddenly looked up and said softly, "An'an..."

"I'm sorry, I forgot you."

Cheng Yuan's pupils shrank.

"When did you remember?"

Pei Qingji carefully pulled a photo out of his pocket—the one he'd ripped up.

That photo had been torn to shreds, but now it was painstakingly taped back together.

"I'm sorry, I remember everything now. Back then, before I went abroad, I wanted to tell you, but my dad took my phone and I couldn't reach you. When I finally got a phone, I didn't have your number."

"I kept asking friends back home about you, but I never got anywhere."

Then later, some stuff happened in his family, and he gradually forgot all about it.

Sometimes it would suddenly pop into his head, but the figure in his memory kept getting fainter and fainter, until he couldn't even remember the name.

Forgetting—that just meant he didn't care, right?

Cheng Yuan found it kind of ridiculous.

"I know, no matter how I explain, you won't listen. It's all on me."

"Don't be mad. It's bad for your health, and it's bad for the baby too."

Cheng Yuan's eyes were red, his hand gripping the table as he shook with rage. He pointed at the door. "Get out! I never want to see you again!"

Pei Qingji didn't leave. He just kept his head down. "I'm sorry."

Cheng Yuan said again, "We're already divorced."

Pei Qingji said, "I... we're not divorced."

Cheng Yuan's face went stiff, and his heart clenched.

"What do you mean? Spell it out."

Pei Qingji said, "I never signed the divorce papers."

He'd thought Pei Qingji had signed them ages ago.

Cheng Yuan didn't get it.

Why wouldn't he sign the divorce papers? Hadn't he been sick of him for ages and wanted out? Wasn't he supposed to be engaged to someone else? Why did he keep showing up here every day?

"I know it's too late to say this... but that night I kissed you, I was sober. I wasn't drunk."

"Back then, I didn't know what love was. I was too proud, and I figured I'd never fall for anyone."

Pei Qingji knew this wasn't the right time to confess, but he had to say it anyway.

His lips pressed into a thin line as he pulled the wedding ring out from under his collar.

The ring caught the light, and the engraved initials CYA gleamed coldly.

He hadn't worn the ring back then not because he didn't want to—it was because he'd noticed Cheng Yuan wasn't wearing his, and he figured wearing his own would make him look like he was trying too hard, so he never wore it at home.

So he'd already fallen for him back then...

Cheng Yuan's long, thick lashes trembled, and a tear slipped down his cheek before he even knew it, leaving a wet trail.

The two of them fell silent.

Just then, the lights flickered a few times, then there was a loud bang, and the room went completely dark.

The whole building went dark.

"What's going on? Did the breaker trip?"

"Why'd it trip again? Can't they fix this crappy place? I was in the shower and had to throw on clothes and run out."

"It's not the breaker—look at the fuse box! Everybody, run!"

The whole place suddenly erupted into chaos.

Cheng Yu'an saw sparks, and a flash of panic crossed his face. The next second, Pei Qingji rushed over and shielded him, guiding him outside.

"We gotta get out of here now."

There were way too many people, and the hallway was completely jammed.

"Hey, hey, quit shoving—let me out first."

Pei Qingji protected Cheng Yu'an as they were pushed and shoved around by the crowd.

His shoes got stomped on who knows how many times.

He stayed shielding Cheng Yu'an: "Everyone, please don't push."

After pushing through the crowd for ages, they finally made it out the building entrance.

Someone must've called the fire department, and firefighters showed up quickly, with the landlord coming running over too.

Everyone's heart was racing with fear—some were just in their underwear, and some didn't even have time to put on shoes.

The landlord was scared too—he broke out in a cold sweat when he heard and rushed over in a panic.

"Hey landlord, if you can't fix this electrical problem, we're not staying here anymore."

"We came here for the cheap rent, but we're not about to lose our lives over it."

"I'm sorry, everyone. I'll take care of this."

The landlord quickly apologized.

The firefighters handled it quickly, came out, and walked over to the crowd to speak.

"Don't worry, everyone. It's fine now. This building's just really old, so stuff like this happens easily."

"Even so, this is way too unsafe."

"No way, I gotta find time to move out. I absolutely can't live here anymore."

Pei Qingji also thought this place had way too many safety hazards. His brows knit tightly, and worry flickered in his eyes.

"Come stay with me."

Cheng Yu'an didn't say anything, just went quiet.

Everyone around was buzzing with chatter.

Some residents were already talking about moving out.

Others were hesitant—the rent was so cheap, and finding another place would take forever.

Cheng Yu'an didn't say a word. He just turned and went back inside.

His fingertips instinctively touched his belly, which was slightly rounded, carrying a little life inside.

Cheng Yu'an didn't dare turn around—he was afraid that if he saw how serious Pei Qingji looked, he'd cave.

The rental was run-down, with white paint peeling off the walls, and a faint burnt smell from the blackout still hung in the air.

Everywhere he looked reminded him how bad this place was—no way to raise a child here.

Seeing him leave, Pei Qingji hurried after him.

"You hungry? I'll make you something to eat."

He carefully helped Cheng Yu'an over to the sofa as he spoke, then headed into the kitchen.

Pei Qingji looked tired, his clothes were all wrinkled, and his shoes were covered in scuff marks from people stepping on them.

After cooking, he swapped out the trash bag, swept the floor, and kept busy with all kinds of little chores.

Cheng Yu'an watched him bustle around in silence, then suddenly blurted out.

"You don't like babies, right?"

Pei Qingji's brows furrowed.

"What are you talking about? How could I not like babies?"

Before the words even left his mouth, it suddenly hit him.

So that's why he'd been so scared of him finding out about the pregnancy—he was afraid he'd make him get rid of the baby.

A bitter smile flickered in Pei Qingji's eyes. He must think so little of him that he'd even make him abort their own child.

"The baby is our child—how could I ever hate him..."

Cheng Yu'an kept his eyes down, deep wariness hidden in them.

"You really won't make me get rid of the baby?"

The guarded look in his eyes made Pei Qingji's heart clench, and he let out a bitter laugh.

He was overjoyed—how could he ever make him get rid of it?

Then, remembering something, he quickly explained.

"What I said back then—that's not what I meant."

"What I meant was... I can't stand how my relatives' kids cry and scream, it gives me a headache. I'm sure our baby will be a good kid. How could I hate him?"

Pei Qingji was so desperate he was about to swear on his life. "Really, trust me. I love babies, and I love you too."

Cheng Yu'an stared at him for a long time before finally saying, "Let's eat, then."

"Okay."

They ate in silence. Afterward, Pei Qingji cleared the table and washed the dishes in the sink.

Cheng Yu'an suddenly said out of nowhere. "I'll go back home with you."

The hand at his side tightened slightly. He took a deep breath before lifting his gaze to Pei Qingji.

Pei Qingji thought he must be hearing things.

He hurriedly turned off the faucet and walked over to him, hardly daring to believe it, and pressed again urgently.

"What did you say? Say it again."

Pei Qingji's voice trembled with barely concealed joy as he spoke, almost eagerly.

"I'll agree to go back, but I have conditions."

He'd thought it through: the rental apartment really wasn't suitable for raising a baby.

Pei Qingji's eyes lit up as he said happily, "No matter the conditions, as long as you come home with me, I'll agree to anything."

Cheng Yuan's voice turned cold.

"You said it yourself."

"Once I have the baby, I'll leave. If you can accept that, I'll move back in. If not, then forget I ever said anything."

Author's note:

None