Chapter 42: Resentful Marriage 24

Chapter 42: Reluctant Marriage 24

Morning light streamed through the narrow alley, making the bluestone road gleam.

The Xie estate was close now. In the distance, the two lanterns still lit before the main gate looked a bit tired against the brightening sky.

The closer they got to the Xie estate, the more Jiang Huanyun's heart sank.

They hadn't been back in days. After the night they were taken to the wooden tower, the people of the Xie estate only assumed that the two wanted warriors had disappeared like everyone else on the night of the wedding.

Now they were back, alive, like two witnesses crawling back from the jaws of death.

"Li Yu," Jiang Huanyun asked in a low voice, "what do you think Xie Zining's face will look like when he sees us?"

"Guess we'll find out," Li Yu said.

The two walked toward the estate's main gate. The red-lacquered door was still half-open, just as it had been the day they left. The servant guarding the entrance was leaning against the doorframe, yawning. When he saw them, he looked as if a bucket of cold water had been thrown over his head—his face went pale in an instant.

His mouth fell open, he pointed at them, and he stumbled back two steps before turning and running inside, shouting as he ran: "They're back! Young Master Jiang and Young Master Li are back!"

Jiang Huanyun and Li Yu exchanged a glance. Back. Yeah, back.

Back alive from that wedding everyone thought they'd never come back from.

They followed the servant through the front courtyard and around the spirit wall. The servants in the front yard stopped their work when they heard the ruckus; some poked their heads out from under the eaves.

Some stood behind the flower beds murmuring among themselves. Others, upon seeing them, clasped their hands and bowed to the sky.

The morning light fell across the faces of the Xie estate's people, as if yanking the entire household awake from its peaceful morning sleep.

As they passed through the walkway, Jiang Huanyun caught sight of the old locust tree. His footsteps slowed for a moment.

The tree seemed older than it had before they left. The runes on its trunk looked like faint scars in the morning light.

The wind rustled through the leaves.

Before they even reached the study, Xie Zining had already come out to meet them. He stood beneath the eaves of the study, draped in that moon-white cloak, so thin he looked as if he might melt into the morning mist.

When he saw them, he was startled for a moment, then let out a soft breath.

"You're both back," Xie Zining said, his voice hoarse, tired from his illness, but still gentle. "Good to have you back."

Jiang Huanyun looked at him. The head of the Xie family was even paler than when they had left, with a faint grayish tint under his eyes. Xie Siyin wasn't by his side.

That figure in pale yellow, always bouncing around and slipping pine-nut candies into Xie Zining's hand—she was not there.

"Where's Miss Xie?" Jiang Huanyun asked.

"She stayed up late tending the medicine and only just went to sleep," Xie Zining said, turning slightly and gesturing for them to come in. "Come in and talk."

The three entered the study. Xie Zining did not take the main seat, but sat by the low table, having a servant bring fresh tea.

He cradled the tea cup but didn't drink. Only after the servant left did he speak in a low voice: "Did you two find something?"

"The case of the missing bride and groom is solved," Li Yu said. "Your wedding can go ahead as planned. But I have something I want to ask you, Young Master Xie."

"Ask," Xie Zining said, holding his tea, his fingertips tracing the rim of the cup.

"It's about the formation in this estate," Li Yu said, watching him.

Xie Zining's hand paused for a split second—so brief it was almost imperceptible.

Then he smiled, that gentle, pale smile: "Oh? What about it?"

"Does Young Master Xie have nothing to say?" Jiang Huanyun could not help but speak up.

Xie Zining raised his head, his gaze first resting on Li Yu, then shifting to Jiang Huanyun's face.

Light from the window filtered through the leaves of the old locust tree, dappling across him—half his face in brightness, half in shadow.

He was silent for a few breaths, then suddenly let out a small laugh.

"Since you already know, I won't hide it," Xie Zining said, setting down his tea. His voice was soft but clear. "It's a life-exchange formation."

"Whose life is being exchanged?" Jiang Huanyun's voice tightened.

"Young Master Jiang knows the answer well. Why ask again?" Xie Zining said slowly.

"I want to hear you say it yourself." Jiang Huanyun stepped forward half a pace, and Li Yu did not stop him. "I want to hear you say with your own mouth that you intend to exchange an innocent girl's life for your own."

The study fell silent, leaving only the faint chime of wind bells drifting in from the corridor. Xie Zining did not look away. He simply gazed at Jiang Huanyun with that calm expression, his eyes carrying weariness, a certain ashen pallor worn down by illness—yet no longer any trace of concealment.

"I had no choice," he said, his tone very light. "After all, a person is born to survive."

Jiang Huanyun's breath caught. For a moment, he felt as if he hadn't heard clearly—or perhaps he had heard every word too clearly.

He stared at Xie Zining. That face, always so gentle and proper, suddenly felt foreign in this moment.

"And Xie Siyin?" Jiang Huanyun's voice was very low. "Is her life just meant to be traded away?"

Xie Zining did not answer. He lowered his head, looking at his own thin hands, at the interwoven lines on his palms, like staring at a curse that could never be washed away.

He coughed again—urgent and heavy, his whole body bending over the edge of the table.

Jiang Huanyun caught a glimpse of his wrist emerging from his sleeve. It was frighteningly thin, the blue veins beneath the skin looking as if they might split open at any moment.

He suddenly thought—if the life-exchange formation were activated, this man might truly live. But if the formation were gone, he might genuinely not survive the winter.

"Young Master Jiang, I only want to live..." Xie Zining's voice suddenly grew faint, as faint as the tea on the table that had long gone cold, not a wisp of warmth left. "You are not me. You have never lived through twenty-some years of being ground down inch by inch by illness. From the time I can remember, it has been drinking medicine, coughing blood, lying in bed.

Others look at flowers and see flowers, look at snow and see snow. But I have to think first—whether I'll even live to see the next winter."

He paused, coughed a few more times, and covered his mouth with a handkerchief. When he looked up again, his eyes were shot through with blood vessels, like coals that had burned for too long—gray on the outside, but still hot within.

"I want to run, to ride a horse, to stand idly in the sun and waste an afternoon. But my life was never my own..."

"Young Master Xie has been ill for many years, and it has been hard. I know that. But in this world, who isn't suffering?" Li Yu spoke calmly. "So how can you use your own suffering to fill another person's life?

How old was Xie Siyin when the Xie family took her in?

She didn't know she was meant to extend your life. All she knew was that the closest person in the world to her was you. When she pressed pine-nut candies into your hand, she was thinking about you getting better.

When she ran back and forth tending your medicine, accompanying you through your coughing fits, telling you 'I'll die with you if it comes to that'—she was thinking her life could be tied to yours. But what about you?"

Xie Zining said nothing, only coughed softly.

"You treated her like medicine!" Jiang Huanyun's voice finally broke through. "You raised her by your side since she was five. Others see her as the young lady of the Xie family—but what do you see her as? You know the answer in your own heart."

Xie Zining did not answer immediately.

He lowered his head, and after a long moment, said softly, "Master Jiang, would you like to hear a story?"

Jiang Huanyun did not move. Li Yu leaned by the window, also silent.

Xie Zining picked up the cold tea on the table, not drinking, but slowly rubbing the rim with his thumb. The tea had gone cold and settled, the leaves sinking to the bottom.

"I was born sick," he said. "The Xie family line has always had few heirs. My mother was frail when she was pregnant with me. The day I was born, my body was ice-cold, like holding a stone pulled from a river.

My father consulted every famous doctor, but nothing helped. Later, a mystic said that my destiny had too much wood and too little fire, that cold dampness had seeped into my bones, and I wouldn't survive past fifteen.

Unless, before I turned fifteen, they found someone—a person with an extremely strong fate, blazing with life-fire—and raised them in the Xie household to grow up alongside me.

Taking the same medicines, walking the same paths, even synchronizing the rhythm of our breathing. Once this person came of age, they would swap our fates under the guise of marriage, grafting my life onto theirs."

He paused, his voice dropping: "The Xie family spent fifteen years secretly searching for the right child. Some didn't have strong enough fates, others had incompatible birth charts. Until the mystic placed a slip of paper with a birth date before my father and said, 'Found her.'

That child's five elements were overwhelmingly fire and earth. Her fate was so harsh it had killed her entire family, leaving only her. The fact that she was alive meant her life-fire had never gone out. A fate like that was the perfect cure for my cold-damp body."

Jiang Huanyun's breath stopped for a moment—killed her entire family, leaving only her.

He remembered the way Xie Siyin smiled, her eyes bright and sparkling, like the first blossom on a spring branch.

A girl like that had already lost everything by the age of five.

"She came to the household at five, and I was fifteen. By then I was already at death's door—coughing all night, sometimes until dawn, my pillow soaked with blood. My father led her to my door and said, 'From now on, she belongs to you.'

But in my heart, I knew she wasn't my sister—she was my medicine."

Xie Zining's voice grew very soft. "I looked at her—so tiny, standing outside the door, timid, afraid to even take a step. She had no idea everyone in this house was just waiting for her to grow up. Waiting for her to grow up, so they could swap her life for mine."

Jiang Huanyun's fingers slowly clenched, his knuckles going white.

"During my worst years, my chest was always cold, as if someone had shoved a block of ice into my bones. Ayin was the opposite—she ran hot. Even in the dead of winter, she wore only a thin padded jacket, and her hands and feet stayed warm even in sleep. Back then, I didn't understand why. I only knew it felt good when she leaned against me.

I was like a tree about to freeze to death, and suddenly a small flame sat beside me, not going anywhere. I couldn't help but lean toward her, wanting to be closer to that fire, closer and closer."

He lowered his head, looking at his thin fingers, his voice barely audible: "Later, I learned that every time she came near me, her life-fire was already flowing into me. The closer she got to me, the longer I could hold on. She saw me as her closest person in the world, while my body was slowly stealing her life away."

As he spoke, he coughed softly. This time, the cough wasn't harsh, but it went on for a long time. By the end, he was coughing up a lot of blood, his shoulders trembling slightly.

"Master Jiang, you asked if she knows." Xie Zining straightened up, his face a sickly gray, blood still at the corner of his mouth, but his eyes were terrifyingly calm. "She doesn't know. She only knows she's always hated the heat, loved cold water, loved cold food. She doesn't know why she always wants to be near me. She knows nothing."

"You said it yourself—she likes being near you." Jiang Huanyun's voice was hoarse. "She thinks it's affection."

"Yes, she thinks it's affection." Xie Zining continued. "And I know it's not. It's the medicines pushing her toward me. Since childhood, everything she ate and wore was identical to mine. She thought it was just household rules, never knowing those medicines were seeds.

They grew slowly inside her, making her qi, blood, pulse, and breathing rhythm more and more like mine. She didn't know they were slowly turning her into another version of me."

"So Xie Siyin is the wick." Jiang Huanyun's voice trembled low. "She's the wick you all raised."

Xie Zining didn't deny it. He slowly picked up the cold tea, took a sip—the liquid was chilled through, carrying a faint bitterness.

"She's scared of the cold," he said, his voice barely a whisper. "But her body runs warm. Sometimes when I hold her hand, I think—how much longer can this fire burn? How much longer can she live?

I know the answer, but I dare not think about it. Every time I see her smile at me, I feel this formation is the most vicious thing in the world."

"But you still made her wear that wooden talisman." Li Yu spoke, his voice flat.

Xie Zining was silent for a moment, then said, "Yes, I still made her wear it. Because I'm afraid of death."

He raised his head, meeting both their gazes. His eyes were bloodshot and moist, but he didn't look away:

"Twelve years. I've endured from fifteen to twenty-seven, every day thinking about how to survive the next winter. I'm so afraid of death that even seeing a withered leaf fall makes it hard to breathe.

The mystic said that only by marrying her could the formation fully activate. Then her life would flow into me, and my illness would be cured.

I could live to forty, fifty, even longer. I could also take good care of her—if she were still alive by then."

Jiang Huanyun's heart plummeted.

Xie Zining said, if she were still alive by then.

This meant he had long known the price of the formation.

"Xie Zining." Li Yu said coldly. "What do you take her for?"

Xie Zining lowered his head. After a long pause, he said, "I don't know."

He spoke softly, like a confession, but there was a will to survive in his voice that had seeped into his very bones.

Xie Zining was like a withered vine, suddenly grasping something to climb toward.

Ayin was that something. Did he love her? Perhaps.

But Ayin had entered the household at five, and he had watched her grow up. That kind of feeling was too complex—he couldn't distinguish it, and didn't want to.

Right now, only one thing was clear to Xie Zining: he didn't want to die.

"Since the two young masters have already solved the disappearance case, I'll give you the ten thousand taels of gold. And the formation will continue."

Xie Zining suddenly spoke, his tone so calm it sent a chill down the spine. "The wedding date won't change, and I won't call it off."

Jiang Huanyun was stunned. He had expected Xie Zining to waver, to hesitate, to at least say, "Let me think it over."

But this man had cut off every path of retreat.

"Aren't you afraid we'll tell Xie Siyin the truth?" Jiang Huanyun clenched his fists.

Xie Zining smiled—a smile that floated on his pale face.

"Afraid," he said. "But I'm more afraid of death."