Chapter 180 The Love Story in the Mental Hospital 13

+++

date="2021-01-03"

title="Chapter 180 The Love Story in the Mental Hospital 13 "

weight="115275"

series = ["Undying Patient"]

mode = "manual"

+++

From the intimacy that the young man was willing to contact him at the beginning, to now deliberately avoiding his touch, such a gap can be more or less noticed as long as he is not a fool, let alone Jiang Lishan, who is a good reader.

But Jiang Lishan could understand his escape and resistance, but he did not understand where such emotions came from.

Is it pure dislike of men, that is why they hate his touch? But when he kissed him before, the young man did not show any disgust. On the contrary, he still liked it very much.

One's eyes and body reactions cannot lie.

This was established at that time and is also true now, so the resistance of the youth to him at this time is also real.

Jiang Lishan felt a little heavy, so he stopped being too close to the youth, and followed his will, deliberately and actively kept a certain distance before he was far away.

Silence and dodge gradually spread between the two people, encroaching on their original intimacy.

And the weather these few days seems to be in line with people's mood, it has become gloomy, the sun cannot be seen all day, and occasionally some needle-like raindrops will fall.

The rain is not heavy, but it can pour people's moods like the ground after damp-with tears on the face.

After getting up, Jiang Lishan looked at the weather today, lowered his eyes and walked into the kitchen, thought for a while, took out the kneaded bread balls and put them in the oven to make toast for the youth.

When there is no way to laugh, eating sweets will make the mood better.

After washing, Su Jinzhi pulled the bear print pajamas and pulled the corners of her lips, walked out of the bedroom and sat in a chair waiting for Jiang Lishan's breakfast.

But when he saw Jiang Lishan put up the bread with amber honey, a few sporadic images flashed in his mind, very fragmented and mixed, passing by in an instant, so fast that there was no trace.

"Have you been in a bad mood recently?" Seeing the young man staring at the bread on his hand and refusing to eat it, Jiang Lishan thought he was sulking again, so he asked him warmly.

Su Jinzhi suddenly returned to his senses, eliminated the cluttered images in his mind, and looked up at the man. In addition to caring, there was also a cautious temptation in his eyes—the level of care that would not let him escape.

Su Jinzhi couldn't help feeling sour, presumably his escape in the past few days has been discovered by Jiang Lishan?

He opened his mouth and wanted to explain, but couldn't say anything.

At night, Su Jinzhi was lying on the bed, the warm yellow bedside lamp was very warm, but he felt very cold.

He and Jiang Lishan were still sleeping together, their postures were back to back, with a large space in the middle. He was trembling with the cold lying in that blank place in the late autumn night cold.

Su Jinzhi was very sad, he wanted to cry, but he had to bear it, because Jiang Lishan would find out.

He asked number one: "Can I really be with him?"

"No." The voice of No. 1 was cold, but Su Jinzhi knew that this was only because it had no feelings, but compared with the original one, it had become a lot softer, so it explained to Su Jinzhi, "Not always No, when he wakes up, you can be together forever."

"But he is sad, I can feel it." Su Jinzhi clenched the quilt tightly, "I can't control myself, I want to hug him..."

Number One said lightly: "You are together, he will die."

This sentence was also said to Jiang Lishan on the 1st, after the first meeting when they met again.

The gray-eyed man sat on the black stone, looking at the person he loved from a distance: "He doesn't remember me."

"Ok."

"What do you mean by ‘um’?"

"Meaning I know he doesn't remember you anymore."

"But I still remember, I still love him..." the man murmured. "I can't control myself, I want to hug him..."

Number One told him: "You are together and he will die."

Su Jinzhi listened to the warning on the 1st, his eyes were sore, and in the end he did not hold back, but he carefully made no sound and did not alarm Jiang Lishan.

He couldn't help thinking, is this just Jiang Lishan's revenge against him?

This is similar to the way they used to get along, two people who love each other can't touch each other, or the other will die.

Su Jinzhi's eyelashes trembled, and tears fell down the side of his face onto the pillow, and pressed against his face coolly.

His dream this night was clearer than the previous dreams. It was a dream that followed the previous dream. In the dream he could see the face of the adult man clearly, and he could also see the backyard outside the small house.

But this time he was not a participant. Instead, he turned back to a bystander. He looked at the tall adult man holding a knife and cutting the tortured young man’s arm. He seemed very handsome and angry: "I let you Steal! Do you know how important the chip is!"

When he roared, Su Jinzhi discovered that a small stainless steel tin box the size of a thumb had fallen beside the boy. Although it had not been opened, according to the man's words, it should contain a chip.

"Dad...I was wrong...Dad!" The young man's face was full of tears, begging for mercy, but the man was still indomitable, even holding the sharp small iron box into the place where his arm was cut.

"Hahaha, I don't think I have a place to hide this thing, do you want to steal it? Just hide it in your hands, OK?"

The blood flowed more from the wound raged by the iron box, dropping drop by drop to the deep sandalwood floor. The young man cried so much that he almost fainted, but he could only plead for mercy: "Dad..."

Su Jinzhi suddenly woke up from his dream. When he moved, the man lying next to him immediately sat up, as if he had never fallen asleep, and put a hand on his shoulder gently: "Jinzhi? Have you had a nightmare again? "

The emotions of the youth in the dream seemed to be brought out, very painful, or perhaps this was his own emotions, Su Jinzhi opened his mouth and let out a faint sob.

Jiang Lishan directly pressed his shoulders to force him to turn around, then hugged him, pressed his head on his shoulders, and softly comforted his lips against the roots of his ears: "It's okay, it's just a dream... "

However, Su Jinzhi still felt that his heart was beating very fast, his temples were beating suddenly, and the suffocation in his chest made him uncomfortable. He opened his mouth wide to breathe, and a lot of air poured into his lungs, but it could not relieve the suffocation in the chest. Only make him need more and more oxygen.

He opened his mouth and wanted to call the man's name: "Jiang..."

Jiang Lishan hugged him at first, but later discovered that the young man in his arms was not right and was panting quickly. He quickly let go of his hand to check the young man’s condition, and saw that the young man’s mouth was open, his lips were purple and he was holding it. His fingers were unnaturally stiff, and his whole body twitched convulsively. At first glance, it looked like an asthma attack, but he couldn't hear the wheeze when he was close to him.

After all, Jiang Lishan was just a psychiatrist, and he couldn't figure out the young man's situation for a while, so he quickly helped him to sit on the bed and called someone in the hospital.

The people from the hospital came quickly. Jiang Lishan hugged Su Jinzhi and went out and put him carefully on the stretcher bed. When the two nurses were pushing the stretcher bed to enter the car, they were stopped by the doctor. He shook the young man. His hands and fingers were placed on the young man's throat again, and the nurse brought a plastic bag and put it in front of the young man's nose.

Jiang Lishan frowned and asked him: "What are you doing."

"It's okay." The doctor told him to stay calm, "It's just alkalemia, just let him take it off."

Although the doctor said so, Jiang Lishan's eyes were still fixed on the young man on the stretcher bed, his brows curled, his expression serious.

However, the young man did exactly what he said. After a few minutes, he gradually slowed down. When the doctor saw this, he took off the plastic bag, glanced at the identical bear print pajamas on the two of them without any trace, and asked Jiang Lishan: "You How is the treatment progress?"

"Why ask this suddenly?"

The doctor said: "His blood potassium is low, and his mood fluctuates too much, which can cause alkalemia."

Jiang Lishan was cold and silent.

The doctor said again: "I'll give him some water later, and buy some bananas and dates for him tomorrow."

"Yeah." Jiang Lishan replied and sent the doctor and nurse away.

Although Su Jinzhi was panting as if he was about to die just now, his limbs were paralyzed, and the numbness gradually spread to the whole body, but his consciousness was sober, and he could vaguely hear the conversation between the doctor and Jiang Lishan.

When he opened his eyes, he couldn't help but reddened when he saw Jiang Lishan's bear pajamas that looked exactly like him, and whispered, "Doctor Jiang..."

The man walked to the bed with a glass of water and sat down, and carefully helped him up to feed him with water: "Is it better?"

Su Jinzhi was soft and weak, but he got better after drinking water. He leaned on the pillow and panted for a while and asked Jiang Lishan: "Doctor Jiang, what's wrong with me?"

He heard the three words alkalemia.

However, Jiang Lishan didn't tell him, just touched his head and said, "It's okay, you are scared by the nightmare."

This was a perfunctory deceit, but it was night, and Number One was not there. Su Jinzhi could only ask tomorrow during the day, and gave a depressed "Oh".

But after oh, Su Jinzhi discovered that the distance between him and Jiang Lishan had returned to the intimacy of the past, and the man didn't know why, after he woke up, he didn't get up immediately and kept his distance.

"What's wrong with you these few days?" Jiang Lishan repeated the question he asked him at the dinner table in the morning, "Are you unhappy because I didn't let you see Ai Shuai?"

"No..." Su Jinzhi shook his head.

The man asked him again: "Why is that?"

Su Jinzhi did not speak.

Jiang Lishan paused, and suddenly smiled and said to him: "It's because I like you, but don't you like me?"

This was the first time between them to clarify the relationship. Jiang Lishan's tone sounded very relaxed, but Su Jinzhi knew him well and knew that there was unobvious tension in his words.

The man did not rush for him to answer, but said something else: "Someone once told me a paragraph, and he said: Everything we do now is a projection of a distant planet, just like the sunlight we see now is The sunlight eight minutes ago, the you in front of me was a microsecond, and the moment before you flicked, what I saw was the past you, what you saw was also the past me, what we have experienced is what we experienced many years ago on distant planets Everything." Jiang Lishan turned his head and smiled at him, "In this case, before we met for the first time, we had seen it in a long time, so I felt that it was really a piece of cake to be able to meet Jinzhi again. Very lucky thing."

After the man finished speaking, he smiled slightly: "It must be because I have seen it, so I fell in love with you again."

Su Jinzhi's expression was slightly startled when he listened to his words. When the man finished the last word, his eye sockets became sour involuntarily, and water and light spread from the tear ducts, blurring his vision.

Because this passage was what he said when he confessed to Jiang Lishan, it was exactly the same, not a single word.

But later, Jiang Lishan used this paragraph to gag his mouth when breaking up——

"You told me that everything we do now is a projection of a distant planet. The sunlight we see now is the sunlight eight minutes ago. The you in front of me are you a microsecond, a flash of your finger, and I see What you see is the past you, and what you see is also the past me. What we experience is everything we experienced many years ago on distant planets."

"So you talk about breaking up now, it means we broke up before, right? So now we have done it all over again, have we?" the man forced him, "After all over again, we still can't be together? How many years ago I separated from you After so many years, I still have to be separated from you. I have to repeat all the things I have experienced, and still can’t change anything. Then what is the meaning of my life?"

Su Jinzhi could not respond to his questioning.

That was the first time they broke up, when the first-generation antibody vaccine failed on him.

Human beings have extremely smart brains, and their wisdom has convinced countless powerful alien creatures, but nothing is perfect. Apart from the fragile body, the biggest flaw of mankind is short life.

The failure of the first generation of antibody vaccines made Su Jinzhi clearly aware that apart from the difference in species, the deep moat spanning between him and Jiang Lishan has a length of time.

Human life is very short, how short is it?

The earth has grown up to the present age of more than four billion years, and the life of human beings is only 100 years. If humans existed at the beginning of the earth, then humans have passed 1.2 billion generations.

As No.1 said, Jiang Lishan's race is very special. Compared with their endless life, the short life of human beings is like a mayfly in the eternal universe.

Therefore, human beings have no right to talk forever.

But now, this passage was changed to another person, but Su Jinzhi had a different feeling. He couldn't help but sniffing, grabbing Jiang Lishan's hand by the bed, and whispering: "Doctor Jiang, I I like you too..."

Jiang Lishan was slightly startled, and asked him, "What did you say?"

"I like you too. I've avoided you these days because we can't be together." Su Jinzhi asked for an individual excuse, "I am your patient, you are known to you, you will have no job..."

Su Jinzhi still can’t continue to keep the distance between strangers and Jiang Lishan. He has tried to keep it, but he has done everything over again, and still can’t change anything. It doesn’t make much sense, it will only make Jiang Lishan and He is all in the same pain.

Because they separated too late.

Jiang Lishan smiled: "It's not that serious, and someone already knows it." The same pajamas of him and the youth have been seen.

"Doctor Jiang, I'm a bit cold, can you hug me?" The young man stretched out his hand to gently hold him, and a chill came from his fingertips, prompting Jiang Lishan to return to his senses. He was silent for a while and raised his hand to hug the young man tightly.

He closed his eyes and took a breath of the young man's body. Jiang Lishan said, "Go to sleep, I will hold you."

Su Jinzhi was curled up in his arms, somewhat selfishly hoping that daybreak would not come so soon. He didn't want to respond to the question on No.1. He just wanted to enjoy this moment of being close to Jiang Lishan; but he was very guilty because Jiang Lishan might get lost in the data In the sea, he will never go back; he is still confused, with the most malicious speculation in his heart: What if all this is just the punishment that No.1 colluded with him?

——Take the pain he experienced back then and let him follow it.

Su Jinzhi took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and tightened his arms around the man’s waist. If this was really a man’s punishment, he would admit it; if it wasn’t and he couldn’t wake the man in the end, then he was willing Accompany him to get lost in the data sea.

The night was still very long, maybe Jiang Lishan's embrace was too warm, Su Jinzhi fell asleep again after waking up in the middle of the night for the first time.

But his dream continued, following the scene of the young man crying on the ground begging for mercy in the dream of the first half of the night.

However, the man continued his cruel and inhuman evil as if he could not hear his cry.

"Dad, daddy..." The young man on the ground gasped hard and hurriedly, his fingers convulsed abnormally, and his whole body collapsed like a bow that needed to be released. After spitting out these words with difficulty, he could no longer Talking, his hands and feet twitched and fell to the ground.

Su Jinzhi looked at the original body in the dream, and always felt that his appearance was very similar to what Jiang Lishan had said about alkalemia.

The man was startled by the boy's sudden reaction, and immediately threw away the knife in his hand, kicked him, and muttered in his mouth: "Little beast...what pretends..."

But the young man still fell on the ground, convulsing, short of breath, and his lips turned white, as if he would die in the next moment. A few minutes later, the young man fell on the ground and panted. The man finally couldn't sit still. He walked over and pushed him, helped him up, and fed him water: "Hey, what's wrong with you?"

Although he doesn’t wait to see this son, he doesn’t want him to die, because what he does needs to be kept secret. He can’t find a second free babysitter who doesn’t dare to resist his beating and scolding, nor can he guarantee that the babysitter is. Not the police or other undercover agents.

After drinking the water he handed over, the young man leaned on the foot of the cabinet and panted for a long time before he was relieved. He held the water glass and choked softly. The man didn't seem to see him crying like a lady, so he stood up and shoved. He said impatiently: "If you don't go crazy, go to the backyard and chop wood."

Winter is here, and the ground in the backyard is covered with a thick layer of snow. The axe and firewood are placed aside in a mess. The young man wiped the tears from his face, stood up from the ground with trembling legs, and wrapped his cloth in a hurry. Wrapped around the wound on his hand, put on antifreeze gloves, he hurried to the backyard to chop wood—he didn't dare to resist the words of the man in the house.

Because the result of resistance is pain, the kind of pain that can drive people crazy, he is very afraid.

When the man saw that the young man fled to the backyard like a cowardly rabbit, he scolded and said a few more swear words, and walked towards the kitchen. The young man said that the meal was ready.

But when a man looked at a table of bread, buns, cakes and other fermented and fluffy foods, his anger that was provoked by the youth for stealing chips rekindled—is the food on such a table? No rice! No meat! No food!

The young man had let him eat bread and buns for a few days. He warned the young man yesterday not to make these things anymore, but he still refused to listen!

The man was so angry that his eyes opened and his chest rose and fell quickly. He was not a good-tempered person, and now he waved over a table of food and walked angrily to the backyard.

When Su Jinzhi looked at the soft bread lying on the ground with broken pieces of porcelain, he finally remembered where the scattered memories came from.

The young man in the courtyard was about to chop wood with an axe, but he had just suffered an illness, and his limbs still felt numb. His body was soft and he didn't have a trace of strength. Just as he raised the axe to his waist, he let go and fell.

The young man looked at the axe on the ground in distress, and then at the pile of firewood beside him. He was standing under the tree. A piece of snow on the branches was blown by the wind and fell on the back of his neck. The cold made him tremble all over. After a while, the sound of the porcelain bowl falling and hitting the ground suddenly came from inside the wooden house. He looked at the wooden door in panic, knowing that the man was angry and was about to come out and beat him again.

The snowflakes on the back of his neck melted, and the cold liquid flowed down his neck into his clothes, and into the depths of his heart, his face was full of tears, watching the wooden door being kicked open, the man carrying a wine Bottle, wide-eyed, walked towards him angrily.

As with every beating in the past, his life is like winter, cold and dark with no end in sight.

The blood on his arm couldn't stop, the blood soaked through the sleeves, it was a little heavy, and more cold, he couldn't help holding his arms and sobbed lowly: "It's cold..."

Su Jinzhi trembled and woke up from the cold.

The dark clouds outside seemed unable to carry the gloom for many days, and finally a heavy rain fell on this day, but Su Jinzhi looked at the gloomy sky outside, his body and spirit were extremely refreshed.

"Awake?" Number One said coldly, "Explain, why you hugged you to sleep again."

Su Jinzhi pretends to be dumb, and only speaks after a long while: "I love him..."

It was too late for them to separate. If he kept a distance from Jiang Lishan and didn't accept any closeness from him when he first arrived in this world, then it would be too late.

But the time for them to separate is when they both have a good impression of each other-once they have experienced the beauty of falling in love, they cannot bear the pain of separating again.

I will not long for freedom from now on, I want to push away the land, the sky, and all the air, I want to push away everything, I just want to put you in my territory, and I just want to put you in my body.

Su Jinzhi originally thought that No.1 was going to scold him, "If you love him, you should stay away from him, don't let him indulge in this world, he will die", "What right do you have to decide his death? "Class", but No.1 said nothing, just sighed for a long time, and finally said: "I really don't understand you."

It emphasized: "Your carbon-based organisms are too difficult to understand."

Sometimes No.1 has to sigh, Jiang Lishan and Su Jinzhi are worthy of being a pair. If they are exactly the same, they give exactly the same warning. Both of them don’t want to listen. They don’t understand with No.Zero, why they can pass by just forbearing. Things, but always can't help it.

At that time, it advised Jiang Lishan not to enter the world of data, it is very dangerous, anyway, your life is very long, and the youth will wake up later. But Jiang Lishan, who had been waiting for hundreds of years, could not wait for these relatively short years.

Both Su Jinzhi and Jiang Lishan said that it was only because it and Zero were not carbon-based creatures, and they were not the same species, so they didn't understand such strong feelings.

"If you want to be together, stay together." Number One said.

Su Jinzhi was taken aback for a moment and asked, "Are you not against it?"

"This is just a way to prevent him from indulging in this world, and it can't wake him up." One generously admitted its mistakes, and joked with Su Jinzhi with interest, "Maybe it would be better for you to love each other, so wait for me. When he takes you away with Zero, he might be reluctant and want to go with you."

"Even if it can't." Number One paused, and the electromechanical male voice that he exported was as cold as ever, without a trace of emotion. "Number Zero and I will help you find other ways."

Su Jinzhi pursed his lips and thanked it: "Thank you."

Number One said: "No thanks, when you wake up, remember to change me and Number Zero to a better mechanical boarding body. Now this antique machine is difficult to use."

Su Jinzhi smiled, remembering that the 1st and the 0th had complained to him that they used antique robots of 2500 years old. But soon he remembered the dream last night and the three words mentioned by the doctor, and asked the number one: "What is alkalemia?"