Chapter 35 Mother

...

Three days later

Today marked both An Ran's and Jian Xingsui's birthdays.

After getting up from his dormitory bed, he called out to Shen Xingchen to wake him. Somehow, waking Shen Xingchen had become his daily duty, as the alarm clock never seemed to do the trick.

However, to his surprise, Shen Xingchen was already awake.

Jian Xingsui exclaimed, "How are you up so early?"

"Who do you think you’re belittling?" Shen Xingchen scoffed, "Can't I wake up early once in a while?"

"..."

Someone always struggled to get up, after all.

Recently, Shen Xingchen seemed rather off, as if something was bothering him. He would disappear for long hours and appeared more contemplative than before.

To ensure Shen Xingchen remembered, Jian Xingsui reminded him, "This afternoon, there’s a program event at the auditorium."

As Shen Xingchen dressed, he replied, "Yes, I recall something of the sort."

Ning Ze, the most diligent of their dorm, having already finished his morning routine and exercise, chimed in, "Yes, it's the recording for An Ran’s birthday celebration."

Fearing insincere performances, the production team had practically scripted the entire thing.

As Jian Xingsui began brushing his teeth by the sink, he said, "They’ve been setting up the auditorium these past few days. It seems grand. Try to get a good spot; the cameras might catch you more."

Ning Ze, always in the loop, shared, "The Jian family ordered a massive five-tier cake. It arrived this morning, considering there are over 50 of us. It's specially customized."

Jian Xingsui paused in his brushing.

He tried to smile but found himself unable to.

Shen Xingchen, having dressed, came over and scoffed, “Who’d want to eat that trashy cake? It’s probably so rich you'd get sick. I bet there’ll be leftovers. What a waste of food and space.”

Hearing this, Jian Xingsui couldn't help but laugh.

After finishing their morning routine, the group left the dormitory, only to unexpectedly run into An Ran and his entourage.

Many students in the corridor knew of An Ran’s impending debut and his powerful family background. Hence, several took the opportunity to extend greetings and birthday wishes, even if it was just to make a favorable impression:

“Happy Birthday, Ran Ran.”

“Happy Birthday!”

“Looking sharp on your special day!”

An Ran’s face lit up with a ceaseless smile as he bashfully thanked each one, “Thank you all. Please come for the cake later.”

Of course, everyone agreed, maintaining a courteous facade.

Soon, An Ran approached Jian Xingsui. Just as they were about to pass each other, intending to pretend they didn't notice, An Ran called out, “Xingsui.”

Jian Xingsui stopped in his tracks.

An Ran greeted the others, “Hello Brother Xingchen, Brother Ning Ze.”

Shen Xingchen, never one for niceties, retorted, “Well, if it isn’t the birthday boy.”

Hearing the sarcastic undertone, An Ran awkwardly smiled, unsure if it was a genuine wish or mockery.

Quickly refocusing, he said, addressing the group but primarily looking at Jian Xingsui, “We’ve collaborated on several stages and have become friends. I’d like to express my gratitude for all your support. So, please don’t be shy tonight; I’ve prepared gifts and will personally hand them over.”

Seeing An Ran's enthusiastic demeanor, Jian Xingsui felt wearied. Sometimes, the act became too exhausting, especially on a day like his birthday when he yearned for respite.

Having been recently hospitalized for a mild fever, Jian Xingsui decided to use this as an excuse, “You all go ahead. I’m not feeling well. I think I’ll take a leave this afternoon.”

An Ran, surprised, asked, “What’s wrong?”

“What could possibly be wrong? It's not like he's allergic to your face,” Shen Xingchen couldn’t resist a jibe, “Just not feeling well, that’s all.”

An Ran shot him an irritated look.

Jian Xingsui found it amusing but remained expressionless, only replying, “It’s just like that. My apologies.”

An Ran felt a pang of disappointment. Knowing today was also Jian Xingsui’s birthday, he wondered if others might want to celebrate their birthdays together. Given Jian Xingsui's popularity, this could potentially overshadow his own celebration, both in terms of investment and attention.

Therefore

Weighing his options, An Ran felt it might be better if Jian Xingsui didn't attend. Thus, he said, “Alright, then. Rest up, Xingsui.”

Jian Xingsui nodded, and the two silently agreed to let the matter rest.

...

By late afternoon, as most students headed to the birthday celebration, Jian Xingsui found solace reading in the library.

The library was a floor higher than the hall. Sitting by the window, he could observe the activities within the brightly lit hall below. Colorful ribbons and balloons shimmered brilliantly as if trying to dazzle someone. The noise of the celebration was loud and clear. Jian Zhi was present, and word had it that Jian Kuo had also arrived. The family's touching reunion was being diligently captured by a photographer.

Shen Xingsui, resting his chin on his hand, gazed down. The initial sting he felt upon learning of this event had now mellowed to a calm acceptance. He observed his former family, now clustered around another, and felt oddly detached.

Xiaomi approached, saying, “Xingsui.”

Xingsui looked up, surprised.

“I brought your phone,” Xiaomi sighed, “Only today did I learn from the director that it's your birthday. The planners didn't organize anything for you, so they sent me to give you your phone, saying you're free to use it today.”

As compensation.

Xiaomi, however, couldn't voice that out.

Xingsui took the phone, smiling, “Thank you.”

Looking at him, Xiaomi felt a pang of sorrow. Both celebrating the same birthday, yet one basks in the limelight while the other sits in solitude. Despite their shared age, their lives were worlds apart. Yet, no matter how much he sympathized, Xiaomi felt powerless.

Xiaomi said, “I should get going.”

Xingsui replied politely, “Thank you for your efforts.”

After he left, Xingsui unlocked his phone. It had been a long time since he'd accessed it. The most messages on WeChat were from his agent, Wang. His messages fell into categories like:

“You probably won't debut anyway, quit torturing yourself. Just drop out.”

“We've already taken the one million for you. No breaking the contract now.”

“Think about the consequences. I can't help you otherwise.”

Xingsui read them all without replying.

Before joining "Starlight", he had planned his move. Knowing An Ran, the main character, was destined for stardom, the best thing for him was to avoid him. He had considered earning a sum and then leaving showbiz to move elsewhere. Whether the agency would mistreat or abandon him didn't matter. All he cared about was leaving it all behind.

Scrolling further, there were no more messages.

He opened his SMS app. Ironically, the only birthday wishes he received were from the service provider 10086 and a bank. Not even a word from the Zhang family.

...

As realization settled in, Xingsui's heart sank a little. But he wasn't overly upset; perhaps he had braced himself for this moment. All he felt was a hint of loneliness, but he believed he'd get used to it in time.

Engrossed in his phone, he was jolted when someone patted his shoulder from behind, “What are you doing here?”

Startled, Xingsui looked back, "Xingchen?"

Shen Xingchen leaned against the table, grabbing Xingsui's book, “What's this? Grimm's Fairy Tales? Trash. Stop reading. Come with me.”

“But...”

Before Xingsui could react, Xingchen pulled him up and led him outside. Hesitating, he asked, "Where are we going? Aren't you shooting the show? How did you get out?"

Shen Xingchen boasted, “I sneaked out.”

Jian Xingsui fell silent. He might have been surprised if someone else had done this, but when Shen Xingchen did it, he felt an unexpected sense of inevitability. Perhaps it was because the young master was often whimsical, so he simply accepted it.

Jian Xingsui followed Shen Xingchen downstairs. As they descended, he heard the distant rumble of thunder from outside.

"Where are we headed, Xingchen?" Jian Xingsui asked while walking beside him. "It seems like it's about to rain outside."

Shen Xingchen acknowledged with a hum, eventually leading him to a classroom door. He then said, "Come in; I have something to discuss with you."

By the time they got there, Jian Xingsui hadn't sensed anything amiss. Given Shen Xingchen's unpredictable nature, nothing really surprised him. Though a bit puzzled internally, he still stepped forward and opened the door.

"Creak."

The door opened.

As Jian Xingsui opened the door, before he could even make out the scene inside, he was suddenly greeted by the popping sounds of party poppers. Colored streamers floated and twirled in the air, landing gently on him.

"Happy Birthday!"

A chorus of cheerful and harmonized voices rang out from inside.

Opening his eyes wider, Jian Xingsui noticed Wen Shengge and Ning Ze on either side, with Shen Xingchen standing behind him. All three were grinning from ear to ear, holding little party poppers in their hands.

"You... all of you..." Jian Xingsui was taken aback, stumbling over his words, "What's all this?"

Shen Xingchen struck a playful pose, touching his nose, "Can't you tell? It's your birthday celebration! Isn't today your special day?"

Jian Xingsui wanted to speak, to ask how they knew, how they managed to slip away, where they got the party supplies from. With a thousand questions flooding his mind, he found himself at a loss for words. Swallowing his emotions, he looked down, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

Shen Xingchen hastily added, "Hey, hey, no need to get all teary-eyed! Remember, I'm just legendary. Don't you dare fall for me; I've always seen you as a brother!"

"..."

Jian Xingsui laughed through his tears.

How could this goofball always have the knack to break the mood in a split second?

Ning Ze gestured for Jian Xingsui to follow him, saying, "Come over here."

Jian Xingsui followed them, spotting a table behind a line of streamers. On it were dishes wafting warm steam, though they looked somewhat peculiar: overcooked shredded potatoes, tofu paired with green vegetable leaves, and even a bowl of mixed-up soup. Different types of meals jumbled together, making for an unusual sight.

Ning Ze explained, "It was all Xingchen's idea. He insisted on cooking for your birthday."

Wen Shengge commented with a grimace, "But it honestly doesn't taste good."

Shen Xingchen responded threateningly, "What did you just say?"

Wen Shengge quickly zipped his lips.

Jian Xingsui didn't need anyone to tell him; he could already guess that the food might not be up to par. But with the warmth of the food in front of him, his heart warmed as well. Immersed in the lively atmosphere, he felt utterly content.

Shen Xingchen added, "Don't judge me too harshly. Later, I'll treat you to something delicious."

Jian Xingsui asked, perplexed, "What?"

Shen Xingchen looked smug. As Jian Xingsui turned around, he saw a woman approaching the doorway. It was deep autumn, and she wore a white woolen sweater beneath a light orange knitted coat. A delicate gem brooch adorned her chest. Her dark hair, slightly wavy, fell to her shoulders. Though she seemed to be nearing forty, she exuded a gentle aura.

Streamers fluttered in the air. From a distance, their eyes met in a lingering gaze.

Jian Xingsui froze, a curious sensation overwhelming him, leaving him speechless.

Shen Xingchen called out, "Mom, why are you so late?"

"It started raining, and there was traffic," Xu Enzhen replied softly, her voice serene and gentle. She held several bags, "I was worried I'd miss the party, but thankfully, I made it in time."

Shen Xingchen hadn't expected his mother to come alone.

She was dressed formally, looking as though she had risen early to apply meticulous makeup and wear a fitting outfit, bringing along the well-prepared items, all set for the gathering.

Shen Xingchen rushed over to help with her bags, "Why so many things? Which one is my gift?"

Xu Enzhen replied, "It's all for Xingsui."

Shen Xingchen stared in disbelief.

Xu Enzhen approached Jian Xingsui, her gaze filled with compassion upon seeing the boy who closely resembled her son. Under the light, Xingsui appeared slender and youthful, his innocent face betraying a mix of confusion and bewilderment, looking endearingly vulnerable.

Her voice gentle and full of emotion, Xu Enzhen began, "You..."

Without hesitation, Jian Xingsui gently grasped her extended hand, replying in a delicate tone, "Hello, ma'am."

His warm hand enveloped Xu Enzhen's cooler one.

Feeling the warmth, Xu Enzhen reciprocated the gesture, "Hello."

Shen Xingchen leaned in, "Mom, where's the cake you promised?"

A touchy subject.

Regaining her composure but slightly embarrassed, Xu Enzhen explained, "I initially intended to bake the cake myself. However, for some reason, I failed multiple times. In the end, I had to ask someone else to buy it."

Shen Xingchen teased, "Isn't it obvious? With your cooking skills, even the maid at our home wouldn't let you in the kitchen!"

Their family notably lacked culinary talents.

Xu Enzhen shot him a glare.

Shen Xingchen inquired further, "Who did you ask to buy it?"

Just as Xu Enzhen was about to answer, the door opened once more. A tall man in a crisp, striped black suit, likely coming from an event, stepped in. It had been a while since Fu Jinxiao appeared in such formal attire, instantly capturing everyone's attention with his handsome face and elegant demeanor. Holding something in his hand, he smiled towards the room's occupants, "Am I late?"

Xu Enzhen responded, "I've just arrived as well. Thank you, Jinxiao."

"Nonsense, madam, you're too kind," Fu Jinxiao said as he walked in. "It was already pre-ordered. I should have been here earlier, but the event got delayed due to the weather. I thought I might be late."

Jian Xingsui was lost in thought, but one phrase stood out to him: "Already pre-ordered."

What did that mean?

Was the cake pre-ordered for him?

How did they all know? Jian Xingsui felt like he had just been hit by a pie falling from the sky. On one hand, he was overwhelmed with joy, and on the other, he wondered if it was all real.

Fu Jinxiao stood in front of him, the tall, handsome man looking down, saying, "It's been a while."

Jian Xingsui instinctively clenched his hand by his side and nodded, "Indeed, it has. Have you been busy with work?"

"Yes, I had some engagements," Fu Jinxiao glanced at him. "How's your recovery going?"

Jian Xingsui replied, "It's okay."

"You don't seem okay," Fu Jinxiao teased. "I'm glad I made it in time. Skipping your birthday when you're like this? Where else would you wish for good health?"

A genuine smile crept into Jian Xingsui's eyes, "Thank you."

Their exchange left the others in the room rather bewildered.

Shen Xingchen might have been oblivious, but Ning Ze and Wen Shengge were surprised at the ease with which Jian Xingsui and Teacher Fu conversed. They were rather scared of Fu, but he seemed to treat Jian Xingsui differently.

Fu Jinxiao placed the cake on the table, suggesting, "Let's open it up and see if it's in shape."

Ning Ze hurried to unwrap the cake.

It was intact – a two-tiered cerulean cake with a golden star on top, brilliantly shining.

Ning Ze and Wen Shengge inserted the candles, and soon, the warm yellow flame illuminated the room. They both grinned, "Happy Birthday, Xingsui."

Only when Jian Xingsui felt the warmth of the candles did the moment feel real.

Fu Jinxiao stood by his side, calling out, "Jian Xingsui."

Jian Xingsui turned around.

Fu Jinxiao smirked, mysteriously producing a golden crown. The birthday person would wear this. Gesturing for Jian Xingsui to come over, he said, "Come here."

Jian Xingsui took a few steps towards the man. With each step, his heart raced faster.

Amid fluttering streamers, the young boy hesitated, looking up at his idol. The once unreachable figure now stood before him, making everything feel surreal.

Fu Jinxiao spoke, "A birthday gift."

Upon closer inspection, Jian Xingsui noticed that the crown wasn't made of paper. Its inner lining had an engraved initial – an "F." While others might be confused, Jian Xingsui instantly recognized it as the crown from the talent show Fu Jinxiao won as a repeater student in 2007.

It's the crown of honor only given to the top contestant!

Jian Xingsui couldn't keep up his pretense any longer and stammered, "This... this is..."

Fu Jinxiao's eyes darkened slightly, murmuring, "You know what this is."

Jian Xingsui stuttered even more, torn between admitting and denying.

"This is a memento from when I participated in 'King of Singers' in 2007," Fu Jinxiao reminisced, his voice deep and resonant as he continued, "Back then, I wasn't famous and had few fans. In 2005, during the first season of 'King of Singers', I lost. Many fans left, and even I started to doubt my capabilities."

Fu Jinxiao's lips quirked upwards, "Later, a young fan messaged me daily with encouragement. A phrase they often said was, 'Being eliminated doesn't mean you're not good enough.' This fan made me believe in my own abilities, reassuring me of a brighter future."

Back then, Jian Xingsui was just a kid, speaking words of naive encouragement. Little did he know that his heartfelt words were the pillar of strength for an artist in his lows. His unwavering support contributed to the rise of a shining star atop the entertainment pyramid.

Fu Jinxiao stepped closer, whispering, "Now, I want to give this crown to you."

Jian Xingsui was overwhelmed, staring in disbelief at the man before him.

A hint of warmth colored Fu Jinxiao's usually indifferent eyes, his magnetic voice murmuring, "Happy Birthday."

The intimate birthday wishes brought a blush to Jian Xingsui's eyes.

From behind, Shen Xingchen exclaimed, "Come on, blow out the candles! We're all waiting to eat!"

"..."

A momentary silence filled the air.

Snapping back to reality, Jian Xingsui jogged back, saying, "Alright, alright..."

Standing next to the cake, he caught sight of Xu Enzhen, offering her a smile. He then clasped his hands together, making a sincere wish. Instead of simply wishing for good health, he hoped for the continuation of the present happiness and for the well-being and success of everyone present.

Indoors, a serene silence prevailed, while outside, a torrential downpour raged on, thunder roaring across the sky. Xu Enzhen intently observed the boy, noticing how his profile bore striking similarities to Shen Xingchen, especially when his eyes drooped.

For a fleeting moment,

Jian Xingsui's silhouette overlapped with the child Xu Enzhen dreamt of.

People believed he had passed away, assuming she was mentally disturbed. Yet, in her dreams, Xu Enzhen always saw that child, who'd follow her, tearfully calling her "Mommy". A gentle and understanding child who grew older in her dreams.

This boy was a recurring figure in her dreams, where she always observed him from a distance.

Watching his first steps, hearing his baby talk, seeing him grow, witnessing his tears but unable to comfort him, and being unable to help when he was bullied. As time passed, the child's image in her dreams grew hazier, intensifying her yearning.

Shen Xingchen said, "Done with the wishes? Time to open gifts! Mom, what did you get?"

Xu Enzhen came back to the present, her eyelashes quivering. After composing herself, she moved to the table and started organizing some items before turning to Jian Xingsui with a smile, "I wasn't sure what you needed, so I got what I felt was right. I hope you like them."

Jian Xingsui approached, saying, "You've been too kind."

Xu Enzhen shook her head, slowly unveiling the gifts, "This is a knee protector for dancing. I've seen your live performances, and noticed you often hurt your knees while dancing, so I thought this might help. This is a calcium supplement. You're still growing and need to be well-nourished. You're quite thin, and I heard you were ill recently – you must take care of your health. And this... I'm not sure if you'll like it, but this is..."

She constantly murmured under her breath, but the young man standing in front of her patiently listened.

After Xu Enzhen awkwardly finished speaking, she met a pair of gentle eyes. Jian Xingsui, holding something, seemed both restrained and shy. Eventually, he nodded and said, "I like it."

"Isn't this too precious?" Jian Xingsui, holding the items, hesitated, "I've never received so many gifts before..."

Xu Enzhen looked at the slender boy in front of her, who seemed overwhelmed by the gifts. His look of astonishment touched her heart.

For many years, this day was always tough for her. She would wonder, if the child hadn't died, today would be his birthday. What would he look like? What would he like? What gift should prepare? How tall would he be now? Is he leading a good life?

But today, for the first time, she didn't feel that loneliness. When she saw Jian Xingsui, a strange sensation filled her heart, as if it was being completed.

"Boom!"

Another muffled thunder sounded outside, making Xu Enzhen's heart flutter.

She looked at Jian Xingsui and, almost instinctively, gently reached out and asked, "Can I hug you?"

Jian Xingsui paused. He didn't understand why Xu Enzhen made such a request, but he felt no resistance. He put the items aside, nodded, and smiled, "Yes."

The rain outside was pouring, and under the light, the boy looked straight at her, a faint smile in his eyes.

For a moment, Xu Enzhen felt as if she saw that young child from her past, calling her "mom" in her dreams. However, the child always seemed to be swallowed by darkness, slipping away from her grasp, leaving her empty.

Xu Enzhen slowly approached Jian Xingsui, like trying to grab the child from her dreams, reaching out to embrace him. Previously, she always ended up embracing emptiness, but this time, she felt the warmth of a real embrace. The body was slender but tangible and warm.

She didn't come up empty.

She actually caught him.

Xu Enzhen's breath became rapid, and emotions surged within her like vast oceans. Holding Jian Xingsui tightly, tears overflowed, and she whispered shakily, "My child..."

Jian Xingsui initially intended a mere comforting hug. Still, as their bodies touched, especially when their eyes met, an unfamiliar emotion rose from within him. He heard Xu Enzhen's trembling voice, and almost unconsciously, murmured, "Mom..."