Chapter 53, Part 2: I Want to Be the Fish in Your Pond

Chapter 53, Part 2: I Want to Be the Fish in Your Pond

Qin Qing sat quietly across from Ye Rongzhen, her face unruffled by surprise, nor did she panic from fear.

He extended his hand, gently pushing the cup of tea he had sipped from towards Ye Rongzhen.

The reason he didn't brew a fresh pot of tea wasn't out of ignorance of etiquette or reluctance to serve a guest. He understood that if he left at such a moment, Ye Rongzhen would feel even more lost and uneasy.

"You said... you've killed someone?" Qin Qing asked slowly and evenly.

Ye Rongzhen looked up, his deep eyes meeting Qin Qing's briefly, then placed a black glass bead he had been clutching onto the coffee table.

With a soft 'ding', the bead made contact with the table, rolling slightly and casting a dark shadow under the overhead light.

Qin Qing reached out, intending to pick up the black bead.

Ye Rongzhen swiftly grabbed his wrist, urgently saying, "Don't touch it!"

The normally fearless man, with his striking and wild features, showed clear signs of anxiety and fear over a mere lifeless bead.

Instead of reaching for the bead again, Qin Qing turned his hand to grasp Ye Rongzhen's wrist. Across the table, their hands intertwined.

In this somewhat awkward posture, Qin Qing leaned slightly forward, asking, "Why can't I touch it?"

Ye Rongzhen silently studied him for a while, his dark eyes filled with turmoil. Time ticked away, the room remaining still, the night breeze stopped, the scent of flowers faded, even the light seemed to dim.

996 squinted, yawning in mild impatience.

However, Qin Qing was in no rush.

"Take your time," he whispered softly, "As long as you're willing to share the real reason, I have all the time to give."

From a past life, he had already vowed to seek throughout every lifetime, even if his beloved never awakened, even if they became strangers.

Their intertwined hands began to sweat, the skin moist and sticky, but it wasn't repulsive. It felt like two magnets irresistibly drawn to each other.

A rich and sweet scent filled the air, a fragrance unique to Qin Qing.

Ye Rongzhen took a deep breath, and the turbulence within him began to settle.

By holding his wrist, Qin Qing seemed to also grip the soul of Ye Rongzhen, preventing it from plunging into a dark abyss.

Every day, drowning in self-loathing and self-destruction, a glimmer of hope began to dawn in Ye Rongzhen.

"This glass bead was a toy from my childhood," Ye Rongzhen began with a raspy voice, "When I was five, I accidentally left it at the top of the stairs on the third floor without realizing. My three-year-old brother, seeking to play with me, stepped on the bead and tumbled from the third floor all the way down to the first."

Ye Rongzhen paused, breathing raggedly.

Qin Qing tightened his grip on Ye Rongzhen's wrist.

To Qin Qing, Ye Rongzhen at this moment seemed like a traveler clinging to a cliff's edge; without a lifeline, he would plunge into an abyss of icy waters.

He had to hold on firmly, with unwavering strength.

Qin Qing layered his left hand atop their clasped hands, his warm palm gently covering the icy back of Ye Rongzhen's hand. With his fingertips, he stroked the tense veins and arteries, trying to soothe them.

Under such a tender touch, Ye Rongzhen found solace. He looked up, the pain of memories flashing through his bloodshot eyes.

"I killed my younger brother. My mother witnessed everything. Hearing her heart-wrenching cries, I rushed from my room to stand by the railing, staring down in shock. Beneath me lay a pool of blood, and my brother lay motionless at its center. Paralyzed with fear, my mother pointed at me, cursing repeatedly. She called me a murderer."

Ye Rongzhen bowed his head, his voice raw with emotion.

Breathing heavily, like a wounded beast, he continued with a masochistic tone, "I am a murderer! I killed my own brother. Over the years, I've kept this murder weapon to ensure I never forget."

"Why can't you forget? It wasn't your fault," Qin Qing stated calmly.

Ye Rongzhen shook his head in silence.

Qin Qing continued, "You believed I was trustworthy, and so you confided in me. Yet, I borrowed money from you and disappeared, marking me as a swindler. Could every word you told me be used against you, potentially blackmailing not just you but your entire family? Your mother could face even greater trauma due to me, and your life could be ruined. Is this why you needed to find me and seek revenge?"

Ye Rongzhen didn't raise his head, but his heavy breathing indicated his affirmation.

"I'm sorry," he said with a voice steeped in suppressed remorse.

He then gripped Qin Qing's wrist even tighter, as if fearing that upon knowing the truth, this man might vanish forever.

Qin Qing closed his eyes, processing every word Ye Rongzhen had said.

"When your brother fell down the stairs, were you in your room?" he inquired.

"Yes."

"How do you know he fell because he stepped on your glass bead?"

"My mother told me."

"What about that glass bead? Did you find it at the time?"

"I didn't have the chance to look for it. My mother clung to me, berating and weeping uncontrollably. It was my grandfather who rushed back and took my brother to the hospital. I stayed there overnight, and by the next morning, the doctor announced my brother's passing. In the hospital corridor, my grandfather handed me the bead, reminding me to learn from this tragedy."

Hearing this, Qin Qing was taken aback.

He paused momentarily, pondering over his words, seemingly unsure of how to proceed.

After a moment, he pressed on, "Where was your father at the time? Didn’t you have any housekeepers at home?"

"My father married into our family and needed to prove himself to gain my grandfather's approval. Back then, my grandfather entrusted him with one of our companies. To succeed, my father came home only once or twice a week. The day before the incident, all our servants were given a day off."

"Your father was often absent, and your mother, being from an affluent background, presumably wouldn't do household chores. How could she manage with two children and give all the staff a day off at once? Why?" Qin Qing was perplexed.

"I don't really know. It's been too long." Ye Rongzhen replied, his eyes shut in anguish.

Revisiting those memories was sheer torture for him. Yet, being questioned by Qin Qing, he endured, pushing himself to delve deeper into the past.

"Was the police informed?" Qin Qing continued.

"Yes."

"What did the police say?"

"I don't recall. I was too young, and no adult would discuss such matters with me. All I remember is that the case was closed after two days. My father returned from his business trip, held me, and cried all night. My mother barged in, trying to snatch me from his embrace, even attempting to strangle me. To stabilize her emotions, my father had no choice but to send me to live with my grandparents. It was two years before I was brought back."

Ye Rongzhen opened his reddened eyes, staring intensely at Qin Qing, forcing a bitter smile, "You see, I've always been a wretched person, burdened by sin since childhood. I am a murderer. You're right; I don't deserve your affection. I might not even deserve to live."

His raspy voice trembled with raw pain.

Had he never met Qin Qing, he would never have known the depth of his desire to emerge from his abyss.

Had he never met Qin Qing, he wouldn't have realized that one day he would yearn to live so desperately.

Standing in an endless, pitch-black tunnel, there's a pinpoint of light in the far distance, unreachable no matter how fast he runs.

That point of light is Qin Qing.

He would run tirelessly, until he's utterly spent...

His smile was filled with bitterness, but his grip on Qin Qing's hand remained unyielding. His eyes fixed intently on Qin Qing's face, he awaited, much like a condemned prisoner, Qin Qing's final decision.

Would it lead to resentment, exclusion, fear, and then alienation?

Yet, none of these emotions surfaced in Qin Qing. He stared blankly, lost in thought.

996 sat at his feet and spoke candidly, "This is about Attack One's emotional trauma. He feels he has failed his family, especially his deceased younger brother, torturing himself daily. He races cars and boxes, not for fun, but courting death. Yun Siyu looks so much like his lost brother. Only with Yun Siyu can he begin to shed his guilt. Even his mother's mental illness was cured by Yun Siyu. One might say Yun Siyu brought hope to the entire family."

996 wagged its tail and remarked, "It's such a beautiful redemption story!"

"No, it's a terrifying tale of a mother killing her son," Qin Qing suddenly thought.

"Meow?!" 996 was in shock.

"Don't you find some reactions in this story strange? After her younger son is seriously injured, instead of urgently calling for help, the mother berates the older son. She waits for their grandfather to arrive before taking the younger son to the hospital. Is this a mother's normal response? Did she truly want to save her child?"

Qin Qing pursed his lips, his tone growing colder, "The younger son was gravely injured, and as the only guardian present, the mother felt no remorse, regret, or urgency to help. Instead, she accuses the older son, who's on the third floor oblivious to everything, of being the culprit. Is that normal? If she needed someone to blame, shouldn't she blame herself first?"

996 pondered deeply, its eyes widening.

"The missing marble was found the next day, handed over to Ye Rongzhen by the grandfather, emphasizing that he should never forget he killed his brother. Is this normal? Does it not seem like brainwashing? If I were a relative, I'd seek a professional therapist to erase the child's painful memory. How could I cruelly force him to recall such agony, make him bear the guilt all his life, pushing him towards self-destruction? Isn't that equivalent to destroying him?"

996's head was spinning. It gasped for air in disbelief.

"Why did the grandfather do this? By making the child face police interrogation and legal judgment, who was he protecting? Who could be more important than his own grandson?" Qin Qing's internal voice grew cold as ice.

The answer was evident. Other than one's own child, who could matter more than a grandson?

"It's a lie, isn't it? You're making this up!" 996 couldn't accept such an absurd conclusion.

The mother kills her younger son and lets the older one take the blame? It's so cold-blooded, so twisted!

"There can't be such mothers in the world! I refuse to believe it!" 996 shook its head in denial.

However, before it could finish, Ye Rongzhen's phone rang – a video call. The screen displayed the word "Mother."

Ye Rongzhen began to tremble, sweat forming on his brow, anguish painted across his face. He slowly released Qin Qing's hand. The call was like a malevolent spirit, ready to consume him whole.

Yet he had nowhere to run and couldn't escape. Because this was his burden to bear!

"Mother," he answered the call with a hoarse voice.

"Where are you? Come back now!" Over the phone, surprisingly, a man's voice echoed.

Qin Qing, seated across the coffee table, rose and approached Ye Rongzhen, leaning over to get a glimpse.

A haggard middle-aged man appeared, rubbing his temples wearily. Suddenly, a disheveled woman sprang from behind him, her gaunt face zooming towards the camera, resembling a grotesque enlarged mask.

She fixated on Ye Rongzhen, screaming, "Give Xiao Yu back to me! You murderer! Where have you taken Xiao Yu? Did you kill him? You devil! I'll burn you alive! I'll avenge Xiao Yu by killing you!"

The woman was hysterical, leaping and frenziedly tearing at her own hair.

The middle-aged man, Ye Rongzhen's father, rushed to hold her, kissing her cheek and forehead, murmuring words of comfort. Even though his wife had lost her sanity, his love for her was undying.

"Come back quickly; your mother needs you!" The man stood with his back to the camera, clutching his wife, his voice both cold and stern.

"I'll be right there," Ye Rongzhen ended the call. Turning to Qin Qing, his tearful eyes now mirrored a desolate void.

His life epitomized despair.

"It's right that you don't like me." Ye Rongzhen grabbed his phone and the glass bead, leaving towards the door, his steps shaky and forlorn.

He had come seeking love. However, upon revealing the truth, he realized he was unworthy of it.

Qin Qing remained seated, not attempting to stop him.

Ye Rongzhen cast a backward glance.

Bathed in warm yellow light, the object of his affections seemed so serenely enchanting. His alluring face, reminiscent of a slowly blooming pure white tulip, was too beautiful to gaze upon for long. He was so pristine, while Ye Rongzhen felt mired in guilt and filth.

"As you've said, let's not contact each other again," Ye Rongzhen's voice, gravelly and raw, betrayed a hint of choking despair as he bent to put on his shoes.

Qin Qing remained motionless on the sofa.

Struggling to slip into his shoes, any hasty movement threatened to unbalance him. Ye Rongzhen quickly steadied himself against the wall, looking utterly disheveled.

His heavy breaths carried a deep nasal sound, like a wounded beast. He was on the brink of collapse.

Exposing one's rotting heart, torn out from its chest, to someone they deeply care about, is an act of vulnerability and self-harm that can rip the soul apart...

After today, he might resort to even more drastic measures to end his own life.

The speck of light at the end of this abyss would forever elude him.

Ye Rongzhen buried his head deep, not daring to let Qin Qing see his tear-streaked eyes.

It was then Qin Qing spoke in a soft tone, "It seems your mother doesn't truly need you. She despises you. Won't she become even more unhinged if you return?"

Ye Rongzhen hesitated, then replied in a subdued voice, "No, she needs me. In my presence, she can lash out, hurl insults, curse, or even bite. My presence provides an outlet for her rage. Without me, she would spiral further into madness, even harming herself. If I return, she will stabilize."

Qin Qing reclined lazily in the sofa, but his eyes were steely cold.

"So, you're saying she's using you as her punching bag?"

The words were harsh, but they mirrored the truth.

With a pained nod, Ye Rongzhen replied, "It's a burden I must bear."

Qin Qing's usually plush lips turned pale, tightened in tension. After a brief pause, just as he was about to speak, Ye Rongzhen's phone rang again.

"When are you coming back? Your mother's state is worsening today. I'm giving you twenty minutes to get home!" Ye's father commanded with urgency.

"I'm on my way."

The shoes, which seemed impossible to put on moments ago, quickly found their way onto Ye Rongzhen's feet.

"Where is that devil? Are the torches ready? I want to burn him alive today!" The shrill voice was like nails scraping a chalkboard, sending shivers down one's spine.

"I've asked Xiao Liu to prepare them; please, stay calm."

"You must help me kill him!"

"Alright, I'll help you."

"He's not our son; he's a demon!"

"I know, he's a demon."

"You can't embrace him, love him, or protect him!"

"I don't love or protect him. I love and protect only you, okay?"

Ye's father tried to comfort her with utmost gentleness, but after a brief respite, Ye's mother broke into hysterical sobs. Truthfully, her cries evoked no sympathy. They sounded more like a malevolent spirit, clawing towards the heavens with a scream of pure hatred.

Qin Qing closed his eyes, overwhelmed by discomfort.

If merely as an outsider he found it unbearable, how would Ye Rongzhen, hearing such words firsthand, feel?

His very own parents, right before him, repeatedly called him a devil.

His very own parents, right in his presence, discussed burning him alive.

His very own parents, right before him, declared they'd never love him.

Are they truly parents? They are the real devils...

Qin Qing shook his head, a look of pity evident, while Ye Rongzhen, standing at the doorway, appeared numb.

Conversations like today's had been all too common over the past decade for him. In that home, he wasn't a member but a criminal. His primary role was to expose his chest whenever his family felt pain, anger, or a need to vent, letting them thrust knife after knife into his heart.

He didn't deserve to live like a normal person. He was meant to wallow in the mire.

Ye Rongzhen, for one last time, cast a lingering glance at Qin Qing.

Qin Qing heaved a silent sigh. Regardless of his previous anger, how could he not feel compassion facing such a helpless Ye Rongzhen? Especially when his anger was but a mere facade.

With determination, Ye Rongzhen averted his gaze and reached for the door.

The video call hadn't ended yet. Ye's mother cried like a starving wild boar, not yearning for ordinary sustenance, but for the flesh and blood of her very own son!

"Stay," Qin Qing's voice, soft yet piercing, cut through the shrill wails, resonating clearly in Ye Rongzhen's ears.

Ye Rongzhen halted abruptly, turning back in disbelief.

Meeting Ye Rongzhen's gaze directly, Qin Qing reiterated, "Stay."

Ye Rongzhen, who initially wanted to end the call, stood paralyzed. Pointing at himself, his pale lips parted, as if asking, "Are those words truly meant for me?"

"What are you doing standing there? Where are you? Get back now!" Ye's father's irate voice echoed from the phone.

The glimmer of hope that had briefly ignited in Ye Rongzhen's eyes was once again extinguished by darkness.

"I'll be right there," he replied in a strained whisper.

"Stay with me," Qin Qing extended his hand, beckoning gently, "Stay here, don't go anywhere."

His voice was as soft as a mimosa blossom, the fuzzy petals of which seemed to tickle the eardrums of Ye Rongzhen.

At that moment, an incredible brightness erupted from Ye Rongzhen's bottomless eyes. His mouth opened slightly, and he asked hoarsely, "Are you trying to keep me here? Don't you find me terrifying?"

He pointed to his chest, looking at Qin Qing with intense yearning, as if seeking constant affirmation.

Having shared such a horrifying tale, could he really believe that Qin Qing hadn't rejected him? He could hardly fathom such luck.

The voice of Ye's father echoed from the phone again, "What are you waiting for? Hurry back! Who are you talking to? Can't you see the state your mother's in?"

A dream of happiness awakened at that moment, and deep sorrow flooded Ye Rongzhen's gaze. The glimmer of hope was within reach, but he dared not touch it, for his hands were tainted.

He lowered his head and whispered hurriedly, "I'll be right back."

"Don't go," Qin Qing interrupted once more.

"I can't stay." Ye Rongzhen stood still, the door already ajar, but he couldn't bring himself to step out. He was torn between two worlds.

Qin Qing looked directly into his pain-stricken, reddened eyes and slowly asked, "Had I been there on the day of the tragedy, what do you think I would've done?"

Gripping the door handle tightly with fear, Ye Rongzhen knew he shouldn't inquire, but he still asked, "What would you have done?"

Would she have repulsed him just like his mother did?

Qin Qing smiled softly, the warm yellow light making her grin resemble a warm spring.

"I would've held you," she said, her words flowing into Ye Rongzhen's desolate heart like warm water.

"Someone should've held you back then, shielding your eyes. It's a shame I wasn't there. If you stay now, I'll hold you. This embrace, which your family has denied you for over two decades, I'll give you."

Never in his wildest dreams did Ye Rongzhen imagine this answer. Having always been treated with cold cruelty, he'd never considered that someone might've wished to shield him from such horrific sights.

Though he'd never been treated that way, even the mere thought of it brought a warm longing.

Ye Rongzhen stood there, rigid, but his heart trembled violently.

Qin Qing extended her slender index finger, beckoning gently, her voice soft and slow, "Come here."

"Are you calling a puppy?" 996 rolled her eyes in mock irritation.

Then, Ye Rongzhen really came over, his steps rapid and heavy, his breathing rough and deep.

As he approached Qin Qing, he suddenly stopped, not daring to move an inch closer. He feared if he lunged at him, the man would dissipate like a wisp of mist, as if all those comforting words that could melt his heart and soul had been but a figment of imagination.

Sweat covered Ye Rongzhen's forehead, and the light in his eyes flickered on and off.

Qin Qing sighed in resignation, then reached out and gently tugged him.

It was as gentle as a breeze brushing over leaves, yet Ye Rongzhen's sturdy frame fell onto Qin Qing with the weight of a mountain.

Qin Qing, honoring his promise, embraced him with slender arms: one hand stroking his short hair, the other soothing his tense back. He then moved to caress Ye Rongzhen's handsome face, gently covering his eyes.

"Don't go back," Qin Qing whispered into Ye Rongzhen's ear, his breath warm and moist.

Ye Rongzhen closed his eyes, relinquishing all resistance, "Alright, I won't," his voice quivered, verging on breaking. No one had ever accepted and forgiven him in the entirety that Qin Qing did.

It's no wonder Qin Qing sought equality, respect, understanding, and inclusivity; that's how he himself acted.

Watching the two embrace, 996 had an inkling that the redemption arc was about to crumble! Was Yun Siyu even relevant anymore?

A furious yell from Ye's father resonated from the phone, "Ye Rongzhen, what are you saying? Have you grown wings? Who's with you? Let me see them—"

Ye Rongzhen swiftly ended the video call and, with a pitiful glance, looked up at Qin Qing.

Qin Qing smiled, caressing Ye Rongzhen's face before nestling his head back into the crook of his neck.

"Let's stay like this," he murmured, "I won't let go all night."