“Chapter 77: Everyday Life”

"Chapter 77: Everyday Life"

"Upon returning to Fuhua Palace, Zhu Yan was greeted by Xiangru, Qiuyue, and Qiubai who had been waiting in the palace."

"Entering the east side of the main hall, adjacent to the sleeping quarters in the East Warm Pavilion, before they could catch up, she saw Xing En and Zhong Fumu leading her son Tian Tian back from Renben Pavilion."

"Tian Tian was dressed in a round-neck brocade robe, wearing little sheepskin boots, with two small tufts of hair on his head tied with red ribbons adorned with gold and jade decorations. His face, partly hidden in the hood of his cloak to avoid the cold wind, was flushed a rosy white, making him look even more delicately beautiful."

"However, the little boy was pouting and gazing at Zhu Yan with a slightly raised head, not rushing towards her with a loud call as he used to."

"Seeing her son acting so unfamiliar, Zhu Yan felt a pang of sadness. She called out 'Tian Tian,' quickly approached him in two strides, and embraced him tightly, reluctant to let go. After a while, sensing his resistance, she paused, lowered her head to touch his cheek, 'Tian Tian, don’t you recognize your mother anymore?'"

"But her son turned his face away, avoiding her touch."

"'Tian Tian, it's me, your mother.'"

"Feeling a sense of regret, she pressed her face against his cheek and coaxed softly, 'Tian Tian, it’s mother’s fault for not keeping you by my side, for leaving you for so long.'"

"Tian Tian, don't be mad at mom, okay? I'll always be with you from now on..."

"Mommy is a liar."

Suddenly, her son yelled, his big black eyes brimming with grievance and tears shimmering, about to spill over as he burst into tears. "Mommy lied, daddy is bad, I couldn't see mommy, mommy, mommy..."

He sobbed heartbreakingly.

Zhu Yan's heart ached terribly, hearing her son's cries for 'mommy' felt like repeated stabs of pain. She held him tightly, caressing him from head to toe, "Mommy is here, mommy is here."

Watching her son cry as if releasing months of pent-up sadness, Zhu Yan was filled with remorse. She tenderly stroked her son while softly comforting, "It's all mommy's fault, don't cry, Tian Tian."

She picked up her son and sat down on a low couch at the head of the room, cradling him in her lap and wiping his tears with a handkerchief, "Be good, Tian Tian, no more crying."

Gradually, under her soothing voice, his loud cries turned into sobs, and he nestled closer into her embrace.

Hearing her son's continuous sobs and calling for 'mommy,' filled with grievance and sorrow, clinging tightly around her neck, Zhu Yan's heart melted, her hand gently stroking his soft hair.

"Mommy... promise... don’t leave again," he whimpered in her arms.

Zhu Yan quickly assured, "I won’t, never again." She wiped away the large teardrops rolling down from his eyes, her eyes and heart filled with love and regret, silently vowing to always keep her son by her side, never leaving him to the Emperor again.

That evening, the Emperor came.

Zhu Yan saw her son turn his head and bury it in her chest, not calling for anyone, pouting and puffing his cheeks in a huff. Yet, the Emperor sat down beside them, playfully pinching the child's cheek, "What’s this? Not calling for daddy now? Still haven't cried enough? Still angry?"

"Let go, you bad man," Tian Tian protested, struggling to speak clearly in his agitation, trying to pry the Emperor's hand away.

Zhu Yan intervened, "Stop teasing him. He cried several times today, and it was hard to calm him down. Don't make him cry again."

The Emperor, seeing Zhu Yan let go, asked, "Have you taken your medicine?"

"I’ll take it after dinner," Zhu Yan replied, noticing her son's concerned gaze and smiled, lifting him higher, "Don’t worry, mommy is fine."

Throughout the evening, Zhu Yan did not let go of her son.

"Zhu Yan couldn't bear to let go, seeing how her son clung to her, either holding her neck or clutching her robe, as if afraid she would disappear again like last time and not be seen for a long time."

"Watching her son's fearful demeanor, Zhu Yan felt her heart breaking, unable to bring herself to let go even slightly."

"She fed her son dinner herself, then personally helped him wash up. After soothing him to sleep and laying him in the bed of the sleeping quarters, she could still faintly hear his sorrowful sighs in his sleep, causing her heart to feel tightly gripped and painfully throbbing."

"Afraid to wake her son, Zhu Yan carefully disentangled his hand from her robe as she got up."

"She returned to the East Warm Pavilion."

"The Emperor stood up and pulled Zhu Yan to sit down on a low couch at the head of the room, 'Is Tian Tian asleep?'"

"Zhu Yan glared at him without speaking."

"Unfazed, the Emperor picked up a half bowl of medicine from a nearby short table and handed it to Zhu Yan, 'Drink your medicine first; it's still warm.'"

"Recognizing the familiar, mildly bitter scent of the Snow Decoction Pill, used for dispelling cold, Zhu Yan reached for the bowl but found her hand trembling and weak, almost spilling it. Noticing her struggle, the Emperor quickly steadied the bowl, asking anxiously, 'Be careful, what’s wrong?'"

"'My hand feels numb; I can't exert any strength.'"

"Zhu Yan replied, shaking her right arm. She had been holding her son for so long that she hadn't noticed the numbness until now, feeling as if it had lost all strength."

"'I’ll feed you…'"

"'No need.'"

"Zhu Yan firmly refused and reached for the bowl with her left hand. Frowning slightly, the Emperor cautiously let go, and she tilted her head back to drink the medicine in one gulp, as if not tasting the bitterness."

"Every time the Emperor saw Zhu Yan drink medicine like this, a sense of guilt rose in him. He remembered how, in her first year in the palace, she detested the bitter medicine and needed much coaxing every time."

"'Let me massage your arm a bit,' the Emperor offered, moving closer."

"Zhu Yan instinctively wanted to refuse, but thinking of the conversation she needed to have with him, she allowed the Emperor to massage her arm haphazardly, hoping it would improve circulation. She listened as he suggested, 'Better now? Maybe we should call Li Yuanzheng to check on you.'"

"They had returned hastily, and the usual attendants in the palace, including Song Jingru, Physician Chen, and Lady Chen, were still en route, at least two days away from arriving."

"'No need.'"

"Zhu Yan didn’t agree. Ever since she saw her son Tian Tian, up until he fell asleep, she had been holding him without letting go. It's probably because of holding him for too long," she said. "There's nothing serious, I just need some time to recover."

"Your Majesty, we truly scared Tian Tian this time. He's never shown fear before, but just now, even in his sleep, he seemed so scared that I would disappear again. He clutched me tightly, and even in his dreams, he let out sad sighs." Zhu Yan's voice unconsciously lowered as she spoke.

"Tian Tian is still young and won’t remember this. We should spend more time with him, and he will be fine soon," the Emperor reassured, knowing Zhu Yan’s heart was fully focused on their son.

"Zhu Yan, he’s too young, and it’s cold. It wasn't practical to take him while riding, so I had to leave him in the palace. Don't worry, when he's older, I will teach him to ride a horse myself, and we’ll take him everywhere with us," the Emperor said, pulling her into his embrace.

"We can talk about this later, but Your Majesty,"

Zhu Yan hesitated, leaning against the Emperor's shoulder. She looked at him with rare pleading in her eyes, "I hope, from now on, Your Majesty won't take Tian Tian away from me again. Please, that's all I ask."

"You have five sons and six daughters, and there will be more in the future. But I only have Tian Tian. I just want to be with him, to see him grow up safely..."

Before Zhu Yan could finish, the Emperor silenced her with a deep kiss, continuing for a while before finally stopping.

Breathing slightly heavily, the Emperor traced her delicately arched eyebrows and her slightly blushed cheeks, "Zhu Yan, I never intended to take Tian Tian away from you. You should know, the last time I took him was for your sake."

"You care for him, and I care for him too. He’s your son, different from others."

"Remember this, Zhu Yan," the Emperor said, cradling her face in his hands. He sensed her unusual compliance tonight, likely due to her son. Even if it wasn't for him, he didn’t want to let this moment go. He moved closer, their breaths mingling, and asked, "Shall we stay here, or go to the Mingyue Pavilion?"

Zhu Yan understood the words the Emperor wanted her to remember but suddenly laughed, pushing him away with force, "I’ll return to my sleeping quarters to be with my son. Please choose another place, Your Majesty."

The Emperor was almost swept away by her response but was abruptly brought back to reality, incredulously saying, "But I’ve come this far."

"'Your Majesty can seek others.'"

"'Zhu Yan, well done...' The Emperor gritted his teeth as he watched Zhu Yan lift the curtain and leave. The cold wind that swept in cleared his head a bit. He suppressed his tumultuous emotions and desire. It took him a while to calm down. Despite Zhu Yan’s casual remark, if he really sought someone else, given her jealousy, who knows how she'd feel."

"Besides, it was too late for him to go out seeking others, and it would also be embarrassing for her."

"He decided to do it for the sake of her dignity."

"Yes, that must be it."

"So, after much contemplation, the Emperor eventually stayed."

"Returning to his bedroom and finding Zhu Yan already asleep, he went to the restroom to wash up. After changing into his nightwear, he lay down beside her, embracing her before falling asleep."

"Yet, the night seemed destined for unrest."

"In the first half of the night, Ah Ji awoke twice, searching for his mother. Both Zhu Yan and the Emperor woke up to comfort him. Later in the night, Ah Ji wet the bed, soaking the mattress and the brocade quilt. He denied it and cried again, forcing them to clean up and all move to Mingyue Pavilion to sleep."

"Watching his sleeping son, the Emperor, in the lamplight, gazed at Zhu Yan with a half-smile, 'If you had listened to me, we wouldn’t have needed such trouble.' Had they chosen Mingyue Pavilion earlier, even if Ah Ji wet the bed, they would’ve just needed to clean him up and bring him over from the bedroom."

"'If you're not tired, you can stay up. I’m going to sleep now,' Zhu Yan yawned, getting into bed and cuddling her son, closing her eyes."

"The Emperor, unable to contain his annoyance, extinguished the light, climbed into bed, and spitefully bit Zhu Yan's face before letting her be, almost causing her to kick him out of bed. The next day, Zhu Yan noticed the odd expression of her maid, Xiang Ru, and discovered a faint bite mark on the right side of her face."

The main culprits were nowhere to be found.

For several days in a row, she saw no one. After the people and luggage from the temporary palace returned to the capital, she heard from the Princess of Xiangyang that the Princess of Chongyang was pregnant and planning to return to her fief to nurture her pregnancy.

The author's note: