Chapter 140: Human Emotions

Chapter 140: Human Emotions

"Your Majesty, why are you crying? What did Consort Qin say to you?" Qu Gu was shocked to see Empress Yuan in tears when she entered the room. Consort Qin had just been speaking with Empress Yuan, and no one else had been allowed to stay in the room.

Empress Yuan touched her wet, sticky cheeks, only then realizing she had been crying.

She had anticipated that such a day would come, sooner or later.

Sooner or later.

Moreover, this day had come much later than she had expected, hadn't it?

She should have sighed in relief, feeling the weight finally lifted from her heart, instead of shedding tears. It was as if her tears had a mind of their own, flowing unrestrainedly.

Concerned, Qu Gu asked again, "What happened?"

"Nothing,"

Empress Yuan slightly lowered her gaze, masking the emotions in her eyes, "Consort Qin misses her son, who is far away in his fiefdom. I just cried with her."

Qu Gu looked at Empress Yuan, her appearance grief-stricken and dispirited, and found it hard to believe. Having served Empress Yuan for over a decade, aside from the time when Xiangcao died, she had never seen her this heartbroken.

"Go fetch a basin of warm water. I need to wash my face. Make sure no one else comes in," Empress Yuan instructed.

Qu Gu promptly obeyed, fetched the water, and assisted Empress Yuan in washing her face. Then, following Empress Yuan's orders, she helped her change into nomadic attire, which consisted of a tight-fitting tunic and long trousers, specially tailored by the Bureau of Tailoring for easy movement during Empress Yuan's evening runs and martial arts practice.

Initially, Qu Gu hesitated, thinking she might have misunderstood.

The days were long in summer, and nights short.

It was only early evening, with the sun still high and blazing hot, the air heavy with summer heat. Even though Empress Yuan had a constitution that rarely sweated, it was not advisable to engage in physical activity at this time.

As Qu Gu was about to suggest waiting until later, she caught sight of Empress Yuan's expressionless face and her dull, lifeless black eyes, cold as ice, which stopped Qu Gu's words in her throat.

The backyard of the Yingguang Hall was vast, featuring a hundred-acre lake, a ten-acre training field, and several spacious gardens, surrounded by a series of exquisitely built pavilions and towers, strategically placed in a compact, staggered layout. It was a place where flowers bloomed year-round, offering a continuously pleasant scenery.

Empress Yuan usually practiced martial arts with her female soldiers in the training field and ran around the adjacent gardens, which was approximately 800 meters per lap. She had not requested a special running track to be constructed.

Walking through the area now, Empress Yuan realized she had been avoiding traces of her future life, striving to integrate into her current existence.

The memories of the past sixteen years flooded her mind—both good and bad, some she thought she had forgotten or blurred, now became vividly clear.

It was as if they were etched in her brain, deeply embedded in her memory.

She didn't realize how long or how many laps she had run until she felt completely drained and saw Qu Gu rushing over to support her, stopping her from her numbed, thoughtless run.

When she awoke again, it was the next day, bright and early in the morning.

As soon as Zhu Yan opened her eyes, she heard Qu Gu fretting, "Your Majesty, you've finally awakened. You can't overexert yourself like this anymore. Doctor Chen warned that even exercising should be moderate, or it could be detrimental to your health."

"Why call the physician?"

"Your fainting nearly scared me to death, so I had to call Doctor Chen. Fortunately, His Majesty has been away these past few days, otherwise, I can't imagine how anxious he would be."

Zhu Yan's thoughts slowly gathered, her expression visibly darkening. Recently, Marquis Ningxi, Ren Fashan, returned from the front lines, and the Emperor, along with Minister Su Yiquan, visited the Longwu Army camp outside the city to the north. They were likely to return to the palace tonight.

Despite having made up her mind, Zhu Yan couldn't help but feel a flicker of hope.

Humans are not emotionless like grass or trees.

Feelings had arisen, though she knew not when they began.

"Send Lu Ping'an to the old palace and ask Princess Xiangyang to come see me immediately," Zhu Yan instructed Qu Gu.

Seeing Zhu Yan's urgency, Qu Gu didn't dare delay. She called Qiuye to assist Zhu Yan with washing and dressing, and went to instruct Lu Ping'an herself. Zhu Yan's current state was alarming, and she was genuinely concerned. Having Princess Xiangyang come for a chat seemed a good idea.

Princess Xiangyang arrived swiftly.

When she did, Zhu Yan had not yet finished her morning meal of white rice porridge.

Her arrival was preceded by laughter.

Princess Xiangyang entered, saying cheerfully, "Early this morning, I heard magpies chirping in the trees outside, guessing some good news was coming. As soon as I received your message from Ping'an, I rushed here without even finishing my breakfast."

"It's rare for you to ask to see me, Ah Yan. I wouldn't want to miss it," Princess Xiangyang said with a bit of exaggeration in her tone as she sat down beside Zhu Yan.

"Let's have breakfast together," Zhu Yan invited, turning her head to instruct Qu Gu to arrange another dining setup.

"Wonderful, I've been craving the cuisine from your palace chefs," Princess Xiangyang replied enthusiastically, her face beaming with smiles, but inside, her mind was racing. She had always been adept at reading people, especially someone as transparent as Zhu Yan.

On her way here, she had speculated why Zhu Yan had suddenly insisted on seeing her.

As soon as she saw Zhu Yan, she was almost certain of the reason.

Just yesterday, upon discovering that a palace maid was pregnant, she intended to keep it a secret and consult the Emperor, but unfortunately, he was at the northern army camp, and her people couldn't reach him, not even Yang Xin who accompanied him. Even though she was clear about how the Emperor would handle it, she dared not act rashly.

After all, the child was of imperial lineage.

The Emperor might not care, but others couldn't overlook it.

Coupled with the fact that Consort Qin visited Qixing Palace yesterday, it almost confirmed that Zhu Yan was aware of the situation.

Only after taking charge of the central palace did she realize that the palace no longer had concubines or maidens serving in the Emperor's bedchamber, nor the existence of the Tongshi or Jade Tokens.

For the past ten years, Zhu Yan had been the sole focus of the Emperor's affection.

No other women in the harem had been favored.

She had seen the palace maid in question, strikingly beautiful, capable of captivating hearts, but alas, after a night of favor, the Emperor had cast her aside. She was merely enlisted as a palace maid without a formal status, and had been given a contraceptive potion. It was well-known in the palace that the imperial physicians rarely prescribed such medicine, as it was harmful and its effectiveness limited, and there was always an emphasis on bearing more children.

The Emperor didn't care about the palace maid.

The elaborate effort to have Yang Xin administer the contraceptive was likely to keep Zhu Yan in the dark.

Realizing this, Princess Xiangyang looked at Zhu Yan again, suddenly understanding that if she had quietly disposed of the woman, pretending nothing had happened, the Emperor probably wouldn't have blamed her.

Princess Xiangyang suddenly broke out in a cold sweat.

Had she been overly cautious this time?

Her only consolation now was that although the secret had leaked, it hadn't come from her end.

Throughout the breakfast, Princess Xiangyang ate with internal turmoil, yet dared not show any sign of it.

However, after the meal and rinsing her mouth with tea, before Xiangyang could think of how to cover up this matter for the Emperor, Empress Yuan's first question startled her.

"The pregnant palace maid you took away the day before yesterday, had the Emperor ever favored her?"

"I don't know."

Princess Xiangyang replied hastily in panic, but immediately realized her mistake. If she truly wanted to conceal the matter for the Emperor, she should have firmly denied it. As she thought to rectify her response, she looked up into Empress Yuan's piercing eyes, unable to utter the lie.

"Xiangyang, do you know why I liked you initially?" Empress Yuan didn’t wait for her response and answered herself: "Because you castrated your concubine-bearing consort, showing daring love and clear-cut enmity."

Princess Xiangyang had vaguely guessed this was the reason but couldn't believe it.

Hearing it from Empress Yuan's own mouth still seemed incredible. Remembering the Emperor once jokingly complained: "Empress Yuan is perfect in every way, except she’s too jealous."

Princess Xiangyang believed that might be true.

She suddenly looked directly at Empress Yuan, trying to explain: "Yuan, it's different. The concubines in my mansion used to bother me, but the Emperor, considering your feelings, would never let that woman approach you. He didn't care about her after favoring her, not even granting her a title."

"Yuan, you don't have to worry, pretend as if you know nothing. The Emperor cares deeply for you, his affection is profound..."

"Leave." Empress Yuan abruptly shouted, cutting off Princess Xiangyang.

The entire hall fell into a hushed silence.

A pin drop silence ensued.

Empress Yuan didn't glance back at Princess Xiangyang's shocked face but called out for Qu Gu, "Escort Princess Xiangyang out."

Qu Gu hurried in to usher the princess away.

Princess Xiangyang stood up, still in disbelief at Empress Yuan's treatment, but as she softly called out 'Yuan', she saw the empress wave her off, "Leave, please. I need some quiet."

Qu Gu gently prodded her to exit.

As Princess Xiangyang reached the door, Empress Yuan called out 'wait', bringing a brief hope to the princess, only to hear a cold remark, "Heaven cherishes life, avoid taking it so lightly."

It sounded both like a reminder and a warning.

Princess Xiangyang left with a bitter realization in her heart. Even now, Empress Yuan cared for the palace maid. Perhaps it was her innocence and reverence for life that made her distinct in the Emperor's eyes and why she was so fiercely protected by him.

Due to Empress Yuan's remark, Princess Xiangyang dared not harm the maid upon her return.

After escorting Princess Xiangyang out, Qu Gu turned to find Empress Yuan despairingly closing her eyes, leaning against the armrest. Approaching, Qu Gu knelt beside her, taking the fan from her hand to fan her, "Your Majesty, if it's too hard, perhaps argue with the Emperor when he returns to let out some steam."

"That's not like you to say."

Empress Yuan opened her eyes, surprised at Qu Gu, then asked with certainty, "You heard everything, didn't you?"

"I was presumptuous," Qu Gu admitted. Concerned about Empress Yuan's unusual behavior, she had eavesdropped.

"Your Majesty, in my over forty years in the palace, I've seen concubines lose favor often. It's initially hard, but that palace maid is insignificant and poses no threat to you. Besides, the Emperor's secrecy shows his care for you,"

"Realistically, an emperor wouldn’t concern himself with the jealousy of his concubines."

Hearing this, Empress Yuan scoffed, "So, I should be grateful?" She then closed her eyes again.

Qu Gu, frightened, fell silent, not daring to speak further.

Author's note: