Chapter 19: Such Are the Regrets of This World

Chapter 19: Such Are the Regrets of This World

After returning from the palace, Jiang Wanrou had been preoccupied.

She didn’t know what had happened that day, but when Lu Feng returned, his face was expressionless. She didn’t dare to press further, yet she also harbored a secret in her heart.

After the banquet that day, she and Huai Yi were at the Donghua Gate, and they actually saw Jiang Wanxue!

Previously, one was the wife of a powerful official, and the other was Her Highness the princess consort. It was inevitable for them to cross paths during social outings. To avoid any rumors, they merely acknowledged each other. But she always remembered her haughty demeanor. Her third sister had been a favored child of heaven since childhood, beautiful, talented, and blessed with a marriage that everyone envied.

This time, seeing her again, she was still wearing the stately crimson ceremonial robes of a princess consort.

Her back was straight, but Jiang Wanrou could see a heavy air of decline in her, like a once-radiant pearl that had been worn down by the grit.

She knelt alone before the Donghua Gate, holding a petition, pleading for Prince Gong’s case. The imperial guards wouldn’t let her in, nor dared to touch her, and the situation was at a standstill.

Jiang Wanrou was struck by a tumult of emotions.

She had once hated her, how could she not? The marriage she didn’t want was pushed onto her, making her the object of widespread condemnation. Back then, it was so difficult; if it had been someone else, they might have died in that deep mansion.

She hated her, hated that she was the high and mighty princess consort, while she could only let the slander be splashed on her, unable to defend herself.

But the cook named Ma Chunlan told her that Jiang Wanxue had only wanted to use a maid as a scapegoat, and that someone else had harmed her.

Jiang Wanrou suddenly felt lost.

She watched from afar for a moment, then turned to the attendant leading the way and said, "Excuse me, sir, is there another way? Let's avoid her."

Such a proud person, if they were to meet now, she would surely die of shame and anger.

The attendant, shrewd as ever, could easily guess her thoughts and smiled, "Madam is kind-hearted."

Jiang Wanrou gave a bitter smile. It was Jiang Wanxue's own choice; she had no reason to pity her. But seeing her kneeling so straight, she strangely felt a sense of admiration.

She could kneel before the Donghua Gate for Prince Gong. Jiang Wanrou asked herself, if Lu Feng were to fall into trouble in the future, could she do the same as Jiang Wanxue? Married couples are like birds in the same forest; when disaster strikes, each flies their own way.

She touched the earrings on her ears and suddenly felt it was all meaningless.

...

Both husband and wife had their own concerns. Lu Feng started his days of leaving early and returning late, disappearing without a trace. Jiang Wanrou looked drawn and weary all day, lacking spirit. Cuizhu was worried about her and didn’t dare let her take the medicine anymore. She hired an opera troupe from outside, put on two new plays, and only then did Jiang Wanrou gradually cheer up.

As the New Year atmosphere faded, Jiang Wanrou stayed quietly in the inner residence. One day, she suddenly received an imperial decree from the Emperor, roughly meaning to admonish her to uphold her wifely virtues and serve her husband well.

She received the decree nervously, wondering what she had done in the past month to offend the Emperor, warranting a special decree to reprimand her? Until the attendant pushed out a young man and said, "This is Mr. Luo, a renowned physician, especially skilled at mending broken bones."

Jiang Wanrou suddenly realized, this was the doctor for Lu Feng!

She slipped the attendant a handful of silver and whispered, "I dare not speculate on the Emperor’s intentions, please enlighten me, sir."

Why not just announce the decree directly to Lu Feng? Why go through her, it seemed redundant.

The attendant smiled, subtly pushing the silver back, and said, "The Emperor is concerned about Commander Lu, it’s just a fatherly love, madam, don’t think too much about it."

Jiang Wanrou, in a daze, saw off the attendant and looked at the young man with the medicine box in front of her, feeling a headache coming on.

Lu Feng’s leg was an old problem. Back then, the best physician from the Imperial Medical Bureau had stayed at the Lu residence for most of the year, and even he said it was the best possible outcome. Now, he walks slowly, no different from an ordinary person. Lu Feng never mentioned it, and others avoided the taboo.

Now, after so many years, why did the Emperor suddenly think of this? Could his leg really be completely healed? The physician from back then had long since left the service, and this young man in front of her looked fresh-faced, in his early twenties, could he be reliable?

She thought to herself, but still politely asked someone to tidy up the room. The doctor surnamed Luo was very evasive, treating Jiang Wanrou with great respect, saying, "Madam, I am at your disposal whenever it suits you."

Jiang Wanrou smiled stiffly, "You flatter me. Since you are favored by His Majesty, you must be highly skilled in medicine. I am just a woman, completely ignorant in this field, so I must trouble you."

"You are too modest, Madam."

Doctor Luo bowed respectfully, "His Majesty has placed me under your care, and I shall strictly follow His Majesty's will, obeying all your arrangements."

Jiang Wanrou: "..."

They exchanged glances, both reluctant to approach Lu Feng. As Lu Feng's legitimate wife, with the imperial edict looming over her, Jiang Wanrou had no choice but to send Cuizhu to the Forbidden Dragon Bureau.

***

That night, Lu Feng returned home at the hour of Hai (9-11 PM). When he pushed the door open, Jiang Wanrou was doing needlework.

"Aren't you worried about straining your eyes?"

Lu Feng frowned slightly at the unfinished shoes and socks in the sewing basket, "Does the Lu household not have a maid for needlework?"

"I had nothing else to do."

Jiang Wanrou quickly pushed aside what she was holding and eagerly helped him undress and wash his face, saying, "Thinking of how hard you work outside, the boots I made are soft and comfortable, hoping they'll ease your discomfort."

Lu Feng's expression softened slightly. His wife was a master at needlework; the clothes, shoes, and socks she made were soft and comfortable, unmatched by others.

He took Jiang Wanrou's soft and delicate hand, which felt boneless, with ten plump fingers, the tips painted with vibrant phoenix tail flower juice, looking extremely beautiful. Under the warm glow of the candlelight, it looked even more pampered, not like a hand that did work.

He caressed the back of her hand, saying lightly, "I recall you have a maid who's skilled in needlework. From now on, don't bother with these things."

Jiang Wanrou: "..."

She hadn't actually been doing it herself.

She felt guilty, thinking Lu Feng had discovered and was subtly reprimanding her, but it didn't seem like it. Lu Feng, this man, had a strong sense of hierarchy in his bones. Although he was dissatisfied with this marriage and was quite cold to her, he never denied her the respect and necessities befitting the young mistress of the Lu household.

When she had disputes with her two sisters-in-law, he only said, "As the eldest sister-in-law, you have the final say." She was young then and thought he wanted her to yield to her younger sisters-in-law, but later she realized that his unfinished sentence was: You are the eldest sister-in-law, you make the decisions.

In his view, no matter who she was before, since she married him, Lu Feng, she was his wife. She took care of the household for him, enjoyed all the privileges that came with being "Lu Feng's wife," and things like needlework and sewing were not for her to do personally.

A wife has her role, a maid has her duties, a subordinate has his responsibilities. Everyone should stand in their rightful place, not overstepping.

Therefore, Lu Feng would berate a maid who tried to seduce him as "a lowly servant," and was also baffled by Jiang Wanrou's insistence on doing needlework, feeling from the bottom of his heart that she need not demean herself.

But she was his wife, and a quite satisfactory one at that. He couldn't scold her like a subordinate, and even if he told her, she wouldn't listen, leaving him quite helpless.

Jiang Wanrou roughly guessed his meaning, her lips twitched slightly as she set aside the needlework and knelt to undo his belt.

Lu Feng's body tensed momentarily, but he remained still. Jiang Wanrou stripped him down to his undergarments, her soft arms slowly moving up from his ankles to his calves, stopping at the knee of his right leg.

Her fingers, soft yet firm, pressed against the bone, sending a tingling sensation.

Jiang Wanrou said, "Today, His Majesty granted us a doctor who specializes in leg ailments. I thought, since you suffer so much when it's windy or rainy, why not let him take a look?"

"I don't ask for much, just that you suffer less in the future."

Lu Feng's right leg had been completely shattered before, and though it was later set, it would ache and itch whenever it got cold. Jiang Wanrou wasn't foolish enough to say it was to treat his broken leg—that would be blatantly pointing out his flaw. As his wife, suddenly bringing in a doctor to treat his leg, wouldn't that imply she was dissatisfied with her husband?

So she first mentioned "His Majesty," then expressed concern for his suffering. The same matter, phrased differently, sounded much more pleasant. Lu Feng indeed wasn't angry, but he didn't agree either.

He said, "You are considerate, but it's just an old injury, let it be."

The words "forget it" left Jiang Wanrou feeling uneasy.

Back then, he had tried every possible method, even cutting open his flesh to insert iron nails into his bones. The imperial physician had said that without using anesthesia, the treatment would be more effective, and he endured it all in silence.

Lu Feng had been a nobleman since childhood, used to a life of ease. Suddenly faced with a drastic change, his desperate state at that time was such that if someone had suddenly offered him a miraculous pill, claiming it could cure his leg at the cost of thirty years of his life, he would have swallowed it without hesitation.

Jiang Wanrou paused for a moment, then softly said, "Let's give it a try, just in case?"

She had seen him at his best, full of vitality, and she had seen him in his moments of despair and downfall, but she couldn't stand his current indifference and numbness.

Her heart ached with a heavy sadness.

Jiang Wanrou thought, perhaps it wasn't just because he was her husband. The fading beauty of a once-great hero, the regrets of life, all seemed to bring such sorrow.

She lifted her head, pretending to be light-hearted as she looked at Lu Feng, and said, "Besides, husband, take pity on me and let me make fewer knee pads."

Knowing of his condition, Jiang Wanrou had been making knee pads for him, four or five sets a year, without fail.

Unlike the delicate embroidery of pouches and clothes, knee pads were worn inside, and their craftsmanship wasn't complicated. Every year, Jiang Wanrou would present him with various needlework, but only the inconspicuous knee pads were made by her own hands.

Though the stitching was rough, the pads were warm and soft.

Lu Feng looked down at her, unable to resist covering her sparkling eyes.

Her eyes were too bright.

He suddenly remembered the time right after his accident, when he was prone to violent outbursts. Guards, maids, even the imperial physician, and his two younger brothers dared not approach him. She was thin and petite then, carefully holding a bowl of medicine, saying, "Husband, drink this medicine, and you'll be fine."

Seeing him unmoving, she stood there foolishly for a long time, racking her brains to come up with, "Let's give it a try, just in case?"

...

Lu Feng caressed her brows and eyes, saying, "Alright."

He extended his palm, pulling her up to sit on his lap, gently holding her in his arms.

He spoke softly, "Don't worry, I'll secure your honor."

Since ancient times, a wife's status was elevated by her husband. Though he was now disabled, he would never let her suffer in other aspects.

Jiang Wanrou shyly lowered her head. She wasn't particularly concerned with Lu Feng's words; now that he had reached the pinnacle of officialdom, she lacked no honor. She was still a bit unaccustomed to today's Lu Feng. His voice was very soft, his embrace today was gentle, giving her the illusion of being cherished.

Lu Feng picked up his wife, who had curled up in his arms, and let down the bed curtains. The red candles flickered, casting a warm, intimate glow in the room.