Chapter 26: A Grand Illusion

Chapter 26: A Grand Illusion

"You're too polite, young friend."

Lu Huaiyi's innocent, childish words made Pei Zhang couldn't help but laugh, and the melancholy in his heart dissipated. He asked with keen interest:

"I've heard that Commander Lu... is quite strict, isn't he?"

Lu Huaiyi understood the implication and replied shyly, "Rest assured, Lord Pei. My father doesn't concern himself with such material things."

His father was strict with his studies but never spared any expense on external matters. The tonic he took was a rare blood ganoderma, a tribute from a vassal state, said to grow on perilous cliffs and take ten years to grow just one. He had never gone without it. On his fourth birthday, he received an ancient waist knife as a gift. The scabbard was unremarkable in appearance, but the blade inside could cut through iron like mud and sever hair with a single stroke.

His father said, "May my son be like this blade, a person who conceals his sharpness within."

He only learned later that the knife was a treasured possession of the Turkic Khan, Duojie, once. His father had obtained it during his first battle, riding alone into enemy territory and beheading Duojie.

He was his father's firstborn son, and also his father's only son to date. Lu Huaiyi knew his body was weak, so he compensated with diligence. If his handwriting was poor, he would stay up late to practice ten more sheets. When his father ordered him to draw his bow thirty times a day, he secretly drew it fifty times, even if it left his wrists red and swollen.

Compared to his mother's doting and overprotective care, he preferred his father's strict discipline. His father never gave up on him despite his frail health, and he didn't want to disappoint his father's expectations either.

Having a father like Lu Feng, a renowned and formidable man, Lu Huaiyi often felt lonely.

In the household, as the eldest grandson of the main branch of the family, he was young but held a high status. His older cousins interacted with him with a hint of flattery, unable to lower their pride. The younger ones treated him with respect but lacked closeness. The few playmates his age were cautious around him, as their parents had warned them to always defer to him.

Even within the family, his cousins were like this, let alone outsiders. Lu Feng didn't restrict his social interactions, but the children of the nobility were all shrewd and cunning, adept at reading social cues from a young age. Lu Huaiyi had once mingled in such circles, where the lowest-ranking members were the sons of second-rank officials, and the most esteemed included princes and nobles. Even in such company, Lu Huaiyi found himself different.

They never invited him to join them in horseback riding or archery.

When they practiced calligraphy together, he wrote slowly, and everyone seemed to slow down in unison.

Even when the boys played harmless games like chasing chickens or dogs, as soon as he arrived, they would scatter, and they would start discussing refined topics like poetry and literature.

Lu Huaiyi was no fool; in fact, he was sharp and intelligent. Over time, he grew unwilling to stay in that circle where everyone accommodated him. Outside, he had no friends, and at home, aside from his book boy, there were only Jiang Wanrou and Lu Feng.

He couldn't confide in his book boy. Lu Feng was stern and imposing, and he revered his father too much to overstep. His mother was gentle and willing to listen, but he was growing up. As a boy, he had his own pride, and some things were hard to share with her.

Meeting Lord Pei truly made him happy.

Lord Pei didn't flatter him because of his father, nor did he look down on him for his age. He was both a teacher and a friend, always making Lu Huaiyi feel at ease and comfortable.

Lu Huaiyi genuinely wanted to give him something.

Gold and silver were too vulgar, unworthy of the noble Lord Pei. After much thought, he could only think of the book "Discourse on the Equality of Things," which Lord Pei often read. Unfortunately, he was too inexperienced to understand what made the book special.

Lu Huaiyi spoke his thoughts aloud, and Pei Zhang, under the gaze of those bright, dark eyes, felt an inexplicable sense of embarrassment and discomfort.

"There's nothing special about it. It's just that the stories inside are interesting, don't you think?"

Pei Zhang tilted his head slightly, his long, pale fingers flipping open the book and placing it before Lu Huaiyi.

"Look, once Zhuang Zhou dreamed he was a butterfly, fluttering about happily, completely forgetting he was Zhuang Zhou."

"Upon waking, he didn't know whether he was Zhuang Zhou dreaming of being a butterfly or a butterfly dreaming of being Zhuang Zhou."

"Tell me, was he the butterfly or Zhuang Zhou?"

Pei Zhang felt a sense of loss, as if his entire life were a grand illusion, and everything around him was illusory.

Lu Huaiyi had only studied works like the *Analects* and *Qionglin for Children*. Zhuangzi's philosophy was too profound and esoteric for him at this point, and he couldn't grasp it.

Still, he thought deeply and earnestly replied, "Aren't the butterfly and Zhuangzi just two sides of the same coin?"

"As a butterfly, he enjoys the freedom of the world. As Zhuangzi, he must shoulder the responsibilities of being human. No matter what, staying true to yourself is what counts."

He looked up at Pei Zhang, embarrassed, and scratched his head. "Lord Pei, I... I'm just not that sharp. This is all I could comprehend."

"Not at all. You seem simple, but you're actually quite wise."

Pei Zhang was momentarily stunned, then sighed with admiration. "Your thoughts are pure, while I overcomplicate things."

He murmured, "A true man lives with integrity, unashamed of his heart. Whether he is a butterfly or Zhuangzi, what difference does it make?"

"Maybe I've been too caught up in appearances."

Lu Huaiyi nodded, though he didn't fully understand. Noticing that the steam had stopped rising from Pei Zhang's teacup, he quickly said, "Lord Pei, your tea's cold. Let me get you a fresh cup."

Without waiting for a response, he stood and grabbed the round purple clay teapot. Outside the window, the spring scenery was splendid, and the bright sunlight filtered through the gauze, casting a warm glow on both of them. Standing, Lu Huaiyi was now as tall as the seated Pei Zhang. The man had a flawless, jade-like face, elegant and handsome, while the child had rosy lips and pearly teeth, radiating delicate beauty.

The tranquil afternoon was exceptionally serene and leisurely.

***

It was the tenth day of the month, a day off for government officials. Lu Huaiyi and Pei Zhang were chatting in the bookstore. Lu Feng was neither at home nor in the Forbidden Dragon Bureau. He had gone to a secluded alley in the southern part of the city.

A small courtyard with two red lanterns hanging by the door. A maid with her hair in a bun leaned against the door, looking out. Upon spotting a figure, her eyes widened, and she eagerly welcomed the person inside.

"My lord, you're here! The master's been waiting forever. The food's cold."

"What's the urgent matter? Summoning me in such haste."

Lu Feng walked with steady steps, his official boots making a dull sound on the bluestone pavement, exuding an inexplicable sense of pressure.

The maid, recalling the fate of someone a few days ago, immediately held her breath and cautiously replied, "Commander Lu, the master hasn't been feeling well these past two days. He's been having headaches."

"Headaches?"

Lu Feng suddenly stopped, his brow furrowing. "Just that?"

The maid trembled under his gaze and quickly lowered her head, staring at her toes. "No, besides the headaches, the master... the master has also lost his appetite, feels nauseous, and often can't sleep at night."

"He's been suffering terribly."

Hearing this, Lu Feng's brows furrowed even tighter. He coldly said, "And besides that? If he's unwell, he should see a doctor. There's no need to call for me."