Chapter 70: Taking Responsibility for One’s Own Life

Chapter 70: Taking Responsibility for One's Own Life

The mountain road twisted and turned downhill, and the window of the Rolls-Royce's passenger seat was half-lowered, letting the sea breeze rush in. Chen Wan felt a deep sense of ease and relief, not because of the fates of Liao Quan and Chen Bingxin, but because of Zhao Shengge.

Chen Wan's hair was tousled by the wind, and he reached for the cigarette box, only to be stopped by Zhao Shengge.

"Save it for the daytime."

Chen Wan was a light sleeper, and Monica recommended avoiding smoking or drinking before bed.

"Alright," Chen Wan smiled.

In fact, ever since being with Zhao Shengge, he rarely suffered from insomnia or sudden awakenings. When they slept, Zhao Shengge would bury his head in Chen Wan's neck, holding his waist, his breath warm and secure. But tonight, Chen Wan found himself unusually wide awake in the darkness.

He gently lifted the edge of the blanket, but suddenly, his wrist was caught.

Chen Wan turned his head in the dark and whispered, "Did I wake you?"

Zhao Shengge's hair was slightly disheveled from sleep, his expression lazy and drowsy, but his eyes were clear, his voice deep and hoarse. "Where are you going?"

Chen Wan whispered, "To take some medicine." Monica had prescribed him a low dose of sleep medication.

Zhao Shengge gazed at him in the night.

Chen Wan blinked, clutching Zhao Shengge's arm with both hands, and said softly, "I can't sleep."

Zhao Shengge looked at him for a moment and said, "It's okay, just stay awake for now."

In the past, when Chen Wan couldn't sleep, he would feel a heavy burden. But Zhao Shengge told him that not being able to sleep wasn't an illness, so he no longer felt guilty or said sorry.

Zhao Shengge casually slipped on a robe, not bothering to tie the belt properly, and with his long arms, he wrapped Chen Wan in a blanket and carried him to the bay window in the room. The handmade woolen blanket bought for Zhao Shengge ended up being used on Chen Wan's bay window.

The remote-controlled window slid open, revealing the evening stars even in winter.

Zhao Shengge wrapped his arms tightly around Chen Wan from behind, his broad and solid chest making Chen Wan feel as if he had landed on a safe and reliable island.

Zhao Shengge handed him the medicine and a glass of warm water.

"Tomorrow, we'll go see Monica again." The recent therapy sessions had been going well. Monica thought Chen Wan's main problem was his belief that he could handle everything on his own. If he could learn to trust and rely on others, it would be a significant step forward.

"Alright."

Zhao Shengge leaned his chin on Chen Wan's shoulder, his long legs drawn in, and his fingers interlaced with Chen Wan's, almost imprisoning him.

"Is it because we went to Xiaolan Mountain tonight?"

"No," Chen Wan turned his head, speaking honestly and trustingly, "I was suddenly reminded of my mother."

Liao Quan no longer troubled his thoughts, but on the way back from Xiaolan Mountain, Song Qingmiao's face kept appearing in his mind.

He had met with Song Qingmiao the week before, after the power shift at Rongxin's shareholders' meeting, when Zhao Shengge drove him there.

Rongxin Garden was constructed in the late 1900s, originally the home of a British merchant. After Haishi's return, it was confiscated and sold at auction.

At that time, Chen Bingxin capitalized on the reform wave, rising to prominence in Haishi, and he splurged to purchase it, lavishly decorating it with carved beams, painted pillars, soaring pavilions, and flowing red accents.

Now, it stood abandoned and empty, with Chen Bingxin stepping down, the various factions fled in the face of disaster, and most of the servants were let go.

"Stay here for me," Chen Wan grasped Zhao Shengge's hand and said, "I don’t want them to catch sight of you."

Zhao Shengge raised an eyebrow, catching a hint of something more, and nodded, agreeing readily, "Alright."

He leaned against the Rolls-Royce door, lifting his chin slightly, "I'll wait here and watch you go in."

Chen Wan said, "Why don’t you wait in the car?"

Zhao Shengge's voice was warm and deep, "Chen Wan."

Chen Wan replied, "Alright then, I'll be out soon." The wind wasn't strong today, but the sun was weak, offering little warmth.

Zhao Shengge's hands were in his coat pockets as he said, "No hurry, take your time."

After saying what needed to be said, he likely wouldn’t allow Chen Wan to visit Song Qingmiao as often anymore.

Chen Wan nodded.

Perhaps because he knew someone was waiting for him, this time walking into this mansion, a blend of Chinese and Western styles, he felt calm and grounded.

The familiar sounds of mahjong and indulgent music had disappeared, the dog chain that usually blocked the path was gone, the flowers by the pond had gone untended for a while, weeds had grown, and the wind whistling through the corridor sounded hollow and desolate.

Several nephews from the third branch were splitting up and appraising the antiques inside the house. Rongxin's market value had shrunk in a short time, being acquired, and these leeches, now without their source of wealth, even pried the Buddha statues from the walls to take with them.

The light at the door dimmed, and a face appeared in the shadow, startling them, their faces filled with fear as they looked at the suddenly appearing Chen Wan.

Their fearful gazes couldn’t tell if they were seeing the scissor-wielding madman from over a decade ago or the resolute young man from the recent board meeting.

Chen Wan passed by them and went directly to the attic, knocking on the door.

"Who is it?" Song Qingmiao asked cautiously.

"It's me."

"Baby?"

"...Yes."

The door opened, revealing dozens of open jewelry boxes. Despite the chaos and turmoil outside, Song Qingmiao was still counting her jewelry, unfazed by the chaos.

Willow wood boxes of all sizes, on the table and floor, overflowing with treasures.

"..." Chen Wan wasn't too surprised, he went to open the window for her, airing out the smoke, and asked, "Are you packing up? What’s next for you?"

No matter what she had been through, Song Qingmiao always had a kind of carefree innocence. She tucked her hair behind her ear, still beautiful, "I’ve booked a car to move to Hong Kong first, and I’ve arranged to travel for a bit."

The house in Hong Kong was bought for her by Chen Wan, but she had never lived there.

Song Qingmiao folded her fragrant and luxurious clothes one by one, happily busy, now saying the weather in Australia was good, then saying it was fashion season in Italy.

"..."

"Alright," Chen Wan had thought of many things to say before coming, but in the end, he just said, "Take care of yourself, and let me know if you need anything."

"Aren't you having someone watch me?"

Chen Wan pursed his lips, "Do you blame me?"

Song Qingmiao chided, "How dare I blame you, you've grown up, your wings are strong, I can't control you anymore."

Chen Wan sighed inwardly, went to help her fold clothes, and said, "Then don't worry about me, now you're free, just live your life well."

Song Qingmiao didn’t seem to care much, answering offhandedly before going back to counting the diamonds she wanted to take with her. Just as Chen Wan was about to leave, she called out to him, "Sweetie."

Chen Wan paused, his heart skipping a beat.

Song Qingmiao lit a thin cigarette, holding it between her lips, exuding charm, and glanced out the window: "Didn’t you say you wanted to avoid my mistakes?"

Under the bauhinia tree, Zhao Shengge and others stood tall and composed, not looking at their phones, just standing there with a patient and calm demeanor.

Song Qingmiao’s eyes were indifferent: "They’re all alike, none trustworthy."

Chen Wan, feeling a rare pang of concern, looked at her and slowly shook his head, telling Song Qingmiao: "No, he’s different, and—"

"I will take responsibility for my own life."

Chen Wan thought for a moment and added, "I hope you do too."

Song Qingmiao snorted, seemingly brushing it off.

After that, Song Qingmiao went on a trip, and Chen Wan was busy with work. They never saw each other again.

But for some reason, during this sleepless night, Chen Wan kept thinking about her face.

Flirtatious, tearful, radiant, pitiful, from sixteen years ago, from not long ago...

"When I was still in the tenement house and hadn’t been taken back, I was once beaten badly and fell seriously ill, taking a long time to recover."

Zhao Shengge responded with a soft "hmm," listening quietly.

"She had just entered the Chen residence then and didn’t have much money. She stole a piece of jewelry, pawned it off, took me to see a doctor, and bought me a bag of candy. I later found out that she was also beaten after returning."

"Chen Bingxin beat her once, and the head accountant also beat her once."

"The day I found out, I cried out of sadness and anger, hating myself for being useless, but I didn’t dare to let her know."

"There was also a birthday, I actually didn’t even know it was my birthday, never knew since childhood."

"She suddenly came to see me. By then, she seemed to have done quite a lot for Chen Bingxin and had established herself in the Chen residence. She brought me a cake and a model airplane, spent time assembling it with me, and patted my head, saying she would take me away soon to live in a big house."

"I didn’t tell her that I didn’t want to live in a big house, I just wanted to be by her side."

"Every time she came to see me, she had different injuries. I thought, if only I were there to protect her."

"You might not believe it, but before I met you, I had contemplated killing Chen Bingxin several times. I never even told Zhuo Zhixuan about this," but Zhao Shengge was now the person he trusted most, so he could say it, "but he must have sensed it eventually, so later he found Monica for me."

"And the summer I got into your school, she went to gamble. Chen Bingxin locked us in the basement. I don’t know if she went gambling because she wanted to send me abroad. I didn’t dare to ask, afraid she would say yes, and afraid she would say no."

"The Chen family seemed to live in luxury, but without money, life was actually quite difficult. You needed money to bribe the servants, couldn’t offend the housekeeper or the cook. Each of the wives was generous, and if you didn’t give tips or red envelopes, the food, clothes, and everything else would be bad."

"Those who held grudges would stir up trouble behind the scenes. The wives had clear factions, and the people below also fought openly and covertly. In fact, Chen Baoying had a younger sister named 'Bao,' who died because the servants deliberately delayed calling a doctor when she had a fever."

Chen Wan’s emotions suddenly became agitated. Zhao Shengge just held him like that, without comforting or coaxing, holding his hand in his palm, quietly listening to him speak, and Chen Wan calmed down a bit.

"Socializing also costs money. The daily expenses were recorded by the head accountant. After she redeemed me from Xiaolan Mountain, she really didn’t have much money left."

"Someone who loved beauty so much, in the year after I came out of Xiaolan Mountain, she hardly wore any jewelry."

"Probably tired of being plain, she later developed a habit of collecting gemstones, perhaps because jewelry gave her some sense of security."

"After I graduated, she always wanted me to fight for Rongxin’s equity. I could understand, all her shares were used to redeem me, so it was my debt to her."

"She was also once a very, very good mother. When I was young, I really... loved her dearly, but—"

Reality is cruel. The natural love within us often can't stand up against the pressures of patriarchal norms and the twists of fate. When someone is struggling just to survive, it’s hard to expect them to love others.

So even though Chen Wan has been hurt many times, he always holds a tender, unshakable place in his heart for Song Qingmiao.

It was the first warmth he ever knew in this world.

No one is born knowing how to love. If they learn, it’s only because they’ve been shown love themselves.

Even if only a little.

Author's Note:

I've seen another layer of meaning in *Keanu Reeves’s Reply*, which refers to something that was once far away and unattainable, but through hard work and perseverance, it eventually responds.

It could be love, family affection, admiration, or even academic achievements, career, ideals—eventually, there’s a response.