Chapter 1: The So-called Jerk

Chapter 1: The So-called Jerk

Zhuo Fan had just walked out of the supermarket with large bags of fresh produce and vegetables when he spotted a very familiar black sedan parked at the entrance. The man inside rolled down the window, gave him a casual glance, and uttered two words: "Hop in."

After settling into the car, Zhuo Fan held the two large bags and looked at him through the rearview mirror, his eyes slightly filled with surprise: "What brings you here to pick me up?"

The car sped along, and Xiao Han kept his eyes on the road ahead, casually saying, "Chenli’s flying back today. His flight arrives at 5. I’m picking him up, and we’ll grab dinner to welcome him back."

Hearing the name Chenli, Zhuo Fan’s heart tightened, and his fingers gripping the plastic bags unconsciously clenched. He turned to look at Xiao Han’s cold profile and tentatively asked, "How about I whip something up at home? I bought fresh pork ribs and..."

"No need, I’ve reserved a spot at a French place," Xiao Han interrupted him directly, tugging at his overly tight tie, and for once, a rare hint of helplessness appeared in his smile. "Chenli’s been in France so long, he’s probably over Chinese food."

Seeing that smile, Zhuo Fan’s entire body stiffened. Xiao Han had never smiled at him like that—so tender, so painful.

"Didn’t you say... he kinda looks like me?" Zhuo Fan probed.

"No," Xiao Han corrected him seriously. "You’re the one who kinda looks like him, but just a bit."

"..."

The groceries in his arms felt like a waste. A chill crept up from his hands. Xiao Han, of course, wouldn’t care about such trivial matters. In fact, after calling Zhuo Fan into the car, he hadn’t glanced at him again.

Zhuo Fan’s eyes slightly reddened. I’ve been so good to you, so why is your heart always set on Liang Chenli?

He looked down at the watch on his wrist. It was only 3 o’clock now, and it would take just over an hour to get to the airport from here. Why the rush? Was he that desperate?

Xiao Han couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to the delicate, almost girlish thoughts of the man beside him. Speeding was just his way of blowing off steam. Excited to see Liang Chenli? Seriously, who is that guy?!

Just today, he woke up to find himself transported into the jerk lead of a cheesy modern novel!

How did Xiao Han transmigrate? How would he know? He just did.

Not only that, but he also knew this was a tired trope where the jerk secretly crushes on his best friend and settles for a lookalike.

Don’t ask why, he just knew.

The script had him driving to this supermarket at 3 PM to pick up Zhuo Fan, then rushing to the airport with his little lover to welcome the object of his secret affection. The script was really screwing him over!

Ah, you ask what the script is? So many questions, are you writing a quiz?

Xiao Han glanced in the rearview mirror and caught the pitiful, sorrowful look his "little lover" was giving him, and immediately felt a twinge of discomfort.

Dude, I just met you today. Don’t look so heartbroken, alright? We’re not buddies!

Even as he ranted wildly in his mind, Xiao Han maintained a cold and aloof demeanor, brushing off Zhuo Fan’s attempts to talk with the script’s cold shoulder.

Who knew they’d hit traffic halfway? Great, now he couldn’t even speed.

"Crap!" Xiao Han cursed in his heart, slapping the steering wheel. To Zhuo Fan, this action was naturally interpreted as frustration over possibly being late to see Liang Chenli, making him even more upset.

The traffic jam dragged on for an hour before they finally got to the airport. After parking the car, Xiao Han finally looked at Zhuo Fan again: "Get out."

The latter put down the bags, closed the car door, and walked around to stand beside Xiao Han. Right away, he linked arms with him.

Xiao Han stiffened, goosebumps prickling up his left arm. Fortunately, his suit hid it. But the script dictated that he could only shake him off after meeting Liang Chenli, so Xiao Han had to maintain a cold expression and walk quickly toward the arrival gate.

"Hey, Chenli, are you here yet?" Xiao Han held his phone, his eyes scanning the crowd. He had no idea what the guy even looked like.

"Ah Han, I see you! My wife and I are right behind you."

Liang Chenli's excited voice came through the phone, and Xiao Han turned around to see a tall man in a trench coat waving at him from a distance, with a hot blonde by his side. Well, that must be him.

Xiao Han decisively shook off Zhuo Fan's hand from his arm. As they approached, he took a closer look at the man. No need for a description—just your average Joe.

"Ah Han, it's been years, and you're still as handsome as ever. My wife can't take her eyes off you, I might get jealous!" Liang Chenli patted Xiao Han and pretended to be angry while holding his wife.

The compliment was flattering. Xiao Han smiled and nodded at the blonde, "With such a stunning wife, I’m the one who should be jealous."

He meant every word, but to Zhuo Fan, it felt like a knife to the heart.

"And who’s this? He looks kind of familiar," Liang Chenli finally noticed the breathing person beside them, glancing at Xiao Han with a teasing tone.

Xiao Han replied calmly, "This is Zhuo Fan, a friend of mine."

He didn’t need to look to know Zhuo Fan’s heart was breaking. Xiao Han cursed the script in his mind a thousand times, but on the surface, he politely invited Liang Chenli and his wife to dinner.

Xiao Han had reserved the best French restaurant in the city, even hiring a violinist to play outside their private room.

The private room was serene, and every dish on the table was a masterpiece. Xiao Han cut a small piece of steak and put it in his mouth.

Liang Chenli turned out to be a chatterbox, bantering with his wife non-stop, eager to share all the bizarre and interesting stories from his years abroad. Xiao Han kept his cool, elegantly slicing his steak, discreetly serving Liang Chenli’s favorite dishes, pretending to be engrossed in the conversation.

Zhuo Fan sat silently, watching all this unfold. The feast before him seemed tasteless. He ate some ice cream, but it felt like a cold dagger in his stomach, soon turning to pain.

Beads of sweat formed on his forehead as he tugged at Xiao Han’s sleeve and whispered, "Xiao Han, I'm not feeling well. I need to go to the restroom."

Xiao Han gave a curt nod, his indifference making it seem like he hadn’t even heard.

Zhuo Fan clutched his stomach and silently headed to the restroom. Liang Chenli noticed and called after him, but Zhuo Fan, frustrated, ignored him and hurried on.

Only Xiao Han and the blonde remained at the table, exchanging awkward glances. He didn’t bother being polite, focusing on his meal, barely responding to the blonde’s broken Chinese.

"Chenli said you've known each other for ten years?"

Xiao Han dabbed his mouth with a napkin and corrected, "Ten years and three months."

"Wow, you remember so clearly!"

Xiao Han replied cryptically, "It’s ‘known’."

"Huh? What’s unknown?" The blonde stared at him, baffled, her limited Chinese making the phrase impossible to understand.

Of course, he had no interest in explaining. The scene was reaching its climax. Xiao Han glanced towards the restroom, set down his utensils, wiped his hands, and took a clean napkin, casually pouring some ice water onto it.

He checked his watch—it was exactly 7 PM.

"Fire! The restaurant is on fire!" Shouts and roaring flames shattered the calm. The fire erupted suddenly, spreading fast and engulfing the private room in moments.

Don’t question why a high-end restaurant caught fire so easily. The script demanded it, so rain wasn’t an option.

Thick smoke filled the air as everyone scrambled for the exit. Only Xiao Han, crouching low, moved against the crowd towards the restroom, a stark contrast.

He covered his nose and mouth with the wet napkin, squinting as he kicked open the restroom door. The enclosed space filled with smoke, bringing tears to his eyes. Xiao Han suppressed the urge to cough, kicking open each stall door one by one, shouting Liang Chenli's name.

At the third stall, he finally found the man passed out on the toilet seat. Without hesitation, Xiao Han grabbed him and headed out. At the door, he paused briefly, glancing at the next stall—he knew Zhuo Fan was inside.

In that brief moment, the fire exploded with ferocious intensity, the temperature soaring. Xiao Han's face was icy cold. The ceiling sprinklers finally activated, and Xiao Han, supporting Liang Chenli, managed to wet their clothes. The fire was everywhere.

He dragged the man out, turned right to a floor-to-ceiling window, grabbed whatever he could, and smashed through it. Both of them tumbled onto the shattered glass. Fortunately, the restaurant was on the ground floor. Aside from being scorched, cut, and soaked, they didn't suffer serious burns.

As soon as they emerged, the firefighters finally arrived, as if they were late to the party, and the cordon was quickly set up tightly to prevent any reckless idiots from rushing in to their deaths.

Liang Chenli remained unconscious due to lack of oxygen. Xiao Han put him in the ambulance but declined the nurse's suggestion to ride with him to the hospital.

The fire continued to spread to the upper floors and surrounding areas.

Xiao Han's face was blackened by smoke as he stood in the safe zone outside the cordon, coldly gazing inside.

He knew Zhuo Fan was in the cubicle next to Liang Chenli. He even knew that Zhuo Fan was conscious at that moment, able to hear him calling Liang Chenli's name, and more importantly, he knew Zhuo Fan would eventually be safely rescued.

He also knew that after this incident, the plot would head towards the classic scenario of the jilted lover becoming heartbroken, the scumbag regretting his actions, and the scumbag turning into a loyal dog.

Xiao Han's pupils reflected the flames, and his brows slowly furrowed.

He carefully recalled the scene in his mind. He appeared calm and composed because he knew the plot in advance and was prepared. But in reality, in the suddenness of the event, the protagonist might not have had time to think so much. It was only natural to call out the name of a friend he had secretly loved for ten years in the first moment. As for saving the friend instead of Zhuo Fan, it was simply because he saw Liang Chenli first. Moreover, given the situation at the time, it wasn't that he didn't want to save Zhuo Fan, but that he couldn't.

It was the same old question: if your mother and your wife fell into the river at the same time, who would you save first?

What if the script had arranged for him to see the unconscious Zhuo Fan first? But given the nature of the script, that would only happen if the sun rose from the west.

As Xiao Han pondered, his gaze kept wandering towards the entrance.

Why was Liang Chenli unconscious while Zhuo Fan heard Xiao Han's call? The script's explanation was that the door to Liang Chenli's cubicle was broken, while Zhuo Fan had intended to test Xiao Han.

This test indeed revealed the so-called "closeness" and "sincerity."

As for logic? What's that? Can it be eaten?

If Zhuo Fan were the protagonist, there would be extensive descriptions of how he felt heartbroken, disappointed, despairing, and agonized in the fire, omitting a thousand words, laying a solid psychological foundation for the later intense torment of the scumbag.

But at this moment, Xiao Han just wanted to say, "I bought a watch last year."

As a grown man, not thinking of saving himself, waiting to rely on others, and constantly whining and wallowing in self-pity.

Saving you is a favor, not saving you is duty.

Of course, if Zhuo Fan were a delicate girl, Xiao Han thought he could somewhat understand.

Even in a romantic relationship, it's natural to feel hurt and disappointed, and breaking up is possible. But as Xiao Han looked at the later plot in the script, where he would kneel before Zhuo Fan to apologize and repent, Zhuo Fan's relatives and friends would curse, accuse, and beat him, portraying a scene where "everything is his fault" and "the scumbag deserves to be tormented," he felt it would be better to let him die in the fire and be done with it.

In a short while, the firefighters carried out several people. Xiao Han immediately spotted Zhuo Fan. Only after the ambulance disappeared from sight did Xiao Han slightly relax, hailed a car, and headed to the hospital to get himself cleaned up.

What, you ask where the blonde girl went? Who cares, that's not the point.

The whimsical script had Zhuo Fan and Liang Chenli staying in the same hospital.

Xiao Han visited Liang Chenli, who wasn't seriously injured and was able to leave the hospital in a couple of days. Then, of course, came the main event—the face-to-face with Zhuo Fan.

In Xiao Han's heart, he was utterly unwilling to follow the script's arrangement to grovel. No matter how much the original scumbag felt for Zhuo Fan, it was none of his business.

As for the script's description of his inner monologue, such as "always vaguely thinking of Zhuo Fan," "unaccustomed to the empty room without Zhuo Fan," "self-reproach, heartache, worry, and anxiety," he felt none of it. He ate well and even gained a bit of weight.

Wasn't he even worse than the scumbag? What could he do?

When he slowly moved to the door of the ward, he saw another unfamiliar man. The man wore a white shirt, a suit jacket draped over his arm, a meticulously tied tie, and behind his glasses were a pair of slender eyes, speaking gently to the nurse.

Seeing Xiao Han approach, the man slowly stood up, and the moment he removed his glasses, his gentle appearance was instantly replaced by a sharpness.

"You are Xiao Han?"

If it weren’t for the subtle hostility hidden in his words, Xiao Han might have found the man’s voice quite pleasant.

He almost immediately knew who this man was. It was Wen Muyan, the perfect, devoted second male lead in every scum and victim trope story.

In poetic terms, he’s the tragic supporting character; in plain terms, he’s the backup.

And not just any backup, but the eternal backup, forever just a tool to provoke the scum male lead (the antagonist). Despite his wholehearted love for the victim, he can only watch with a bitter smile as his beloved falls into the arms of the now-loyal scum male lead.

Thinking of this, Xiao Han couldn’t help but give him a sympathetic look.

Wen Muyan, being looked at like this, suddenly found his original intention to confront turn into confusion.

He couldn’t help but reach up and touch his face—could it be that sesame paste from his hot dry noodles had smeared on his face?

Author's Note: This story is a satirical vent-fest, packed with unexpected twists and turns. There will be CP, there will be explicit content, and for those who don’t know who the male lead is, please slap yourself three hundred times!